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Do you ever say to yourself - 2/2/2010 2:31:36 AM   
ForeverOwned


Posts: 269
Joined: 2/5/2008
Status: offline 		when dealing with your sub; did i handle this right or maybe i shouldn't of gone that far?

If you ever find yourself in that situation what do you do? Or do you do nothing at all?  We are all human beings and we all make mistakes, do you own up to them or do you just hope noone notices? :)
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RE: Do you ever say to yourself - 2/2/2010 4:15:36 AM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		I'm gonna' need some scope of what you mean by "dealing with".

Did I have regrets about coating my slave with oil and salt before using a bullwhip on her in public as punishment? no

Do I regret having met that one chic and letting her spend the night becasue she was so damn sexy looking . . . yes, she turned out to be a stalker.

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to ForeverOwned)
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RE: Do you ever say to yourself - 2/2/2010 4:20:09 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Anybody who is too hung up on the label of dominant to acknowledge having made a mistake, sincerely apologised for it and taken steps to insure it doesn't happen again isn't one I would be with.

He avoids making mistakes by not acting out of anger but by thinking about the problem and investigating why it happened first.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


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RE: Do you ever say to yourself - 2/2/2010 2:13:11 PM   
MasterSlaveLA


Posts: 3991
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ForeverOwned

when dealing with your sub; did i handle this right or maybe i shouldn't of gone that far?

If you ever find yourself in that situation what do you do? Or do you do nothing at all?  We are all human beings and we all make mistakes, do you own up to them or do you just hope noone notices? :)


Everyone makes mistakes and any scenario can be second-guessed. Nobody's perfect.  And sure... "owning up to" mistakes is the mature thing to do.  In short, as long as the GOOD decisions far outnumber the BAD decisions, you're doin' okay.



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It's only kinky the first time!!!

(in reply to ForeverOwned)
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RE: Do you ever say to yourself - 2/2/2010 5:44:07 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		Hope no one else notices? Who the hell else would notice???? I'm going to guess you're talking about play parties/dungeons/etc..otherwise eerr...yeah...who would notice? Me, his slave?? LOL...if he wasn't a smart, stable human being I wouldn't be with him. This kind of stuff just never ever concerns me. If he makes a mistake..so what? It's not a big deal to me. I'm sure he's more than aware of mistakes or things he's done wrong. If he wants to apologize to me he can. If he doesn't want to then I assume he knows what he's doing and let him worry about it..not me.

(in reply to MasterSlaveLA)
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RE: Do you ever say to yourself - 2/2/2010 6:40:46 PM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline 		Great pic lil.  now back to your regularly scheduled programing.

BadOne 

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The beatings will continue until morale improves.

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We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

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RE: Do you ever say to yourself - 2/2/2010 7:01:55 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		Heh..thanks. Animalistic and primitive urges are a great thing aren't they?

(in reply to SailingBum)
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RE: Do you ever say to yourself - 2/2/2010 7:43:33 PM   
AnimusRex


Posts: 2165
Joined: 5/13/2006
Status: offline 		I'm gonna start a new thread on "best captions for teh lions!"

Lioness- "We never talk anymore!"

Lion- Whoa, lookit the time!"

(in reply to littlewonder)
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RE: Do you ever say to yourself - 2/2/2010 8:45:50 PM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline 		I just file this under acting like a grown up.  Making mistakes, owning up to them, making the necessary amends, and paying the consequences is just plain old fashioned real life.  A power exchange dynamic doesn't change that.  I never stated that those things have to be done toward me, though if it is appropriate he has, but I do expect it to be handled in a mature manner and in a way that allow the issue to resolve.  Anyone who is above mistakes and apologies for them is someone I don't need in my life.

lovingpet

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If you put your head into more, you'd have to put your back into less. ~Me

10 Fluffy pts.


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RE: Do you ever say to yourself - 2/2/2010 9:31:02 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		Dude, I own up.It's not even a question
Hell, I have even apologized-said I let you down, I handled things X way when I should have done it Y way-no big deal.
I'm a dominant, which means I am human.
I am going to make mistakes, sometimes gargantuan ones.  Integrity is facing up, asking myself, and sometimes others, where I went wrong, what could I have done better and learning..
The only people who are trying to be perfect are hypersensitive brats with ego's so easily bruised they cannot avail themselves of criticism, thus the need to hide error. Of course, they never learn and grow, but that's besides the point for them.

< Message edited by Kana -- 2/2/2010 9:59:49 PM >

(in reply to lovingpet)
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RE: Do you ever say to yourself - 2/3/2010 7:54:39 AM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline 		i always liked to have plan b and c to go to seamlessly if things arn't going to plan

and i always like to have a recovery plan fore when things do go wron

sometimes some lil white lies are appropriate so she doesn't realize, and are they lies if she believes them?

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Do you ever say to yourself - 2/3/2010 7:57:10 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I would rather own my shit and apologize, than lie. I have no problem admitting I screwed up and apologizing if it's appropriate.

Lying is the lazy, chicken shit way out.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to osf)
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RE: Do you ever say to yourself - 2/3/2010 8:58:26 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

I would rather own my shit and apologize, than lie. I have no problem admitting I screwed up and apologizing if it's appropriate.

Lying is the lazy, chicken shit way out.


Perfectly stated.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to LaTigresse)
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RE: Do you ever say to yourself - 2/3/2010 10:19:05 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ForeverOwned

when dealing with your sub; did i handle this right or maybe i shouldn't of gone that far?

If you ever find yourself in that situation what do you do? Or do you do nothing at all?  We are all human beings and we all make mistakes, do you own up to them or do you just hope noone notices? :)


Not sure who would notice, other than me. He could have had loads of moments like that and I'd not know about them. I don't need to know if HE thinks HE hasn't handled something the best way in his OWN retrospection.

I have to admit that it's never occured, either he's inhuman or I'm too stupid to have noticed.   The worst he's done is to be slightly less tolerant when he's tired.

agirl

(in reply to ForeverOwned)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Do you ever say to yourself - 2/3/2010 10:23:39 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		To reply to the OP....if it goes so far as say...death by BDSM, then perhaps the person in question should be either a. retaining a lawyer or b. if done in public, killing the rest of the people who noticed him killing the sub or paying them off handsomely so they could be defense witnesses at the trial.

Because, you know, I have seen people do all sorts of things at clubs and not once did anyone die, but then in NYC, who would even notice? They would just think they passed out from sub space.

(in reply to agirl)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Do you ever say to yourself - 2/3/2010 10:29:45 AM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		Lie?
Why lie?
She's a slave. Lying to a slave is like lying to my cat or a cabinet-it's simply pointless.
The arrangement is always the same-I make the decisions, (Oh I ask input from time to time, especially in areas where her expertise surpasses mine) at which point she has three choices.
She can obey, disobey or she can leave.
There's nothing complex about this.
Option one is easy.
Two means consequences. If she continues to disobey, she's gone. I like harmony, not discord.
Three-The door is always open, don't want to be here-don't let it hit you on the way out.
So why would I lie?
Either she accepts my edicts or not, but I respect her enough to allow her to make an informed choice, and that means transparency.
What I can say is that if she catches you in a lie, she is going to begin to wonder...and then trust will begin to erode.

< Message edited by Kana -- 2/3/2010 10:32:00 AM >

(in reply to agirl)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Do you ever say to yourself - 2/3/2010 11:06:34 AM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline 		sometimes saying yea baby you did great but next time you'll do better i'm sure, is better than the alternative, don't ya think?

why knock her down and have to start from the bottom again

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Do you ever say to yourself - 2/3/2010 11:20:46 AM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		Yeah, but that's not a lie. I am sure she'll do better.

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Do you ever say to yourself - 2/3/2010 11:25:07 AM   
Cuffkinks


Posts: 1780
Joined: 5/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

I would rather own my shit and apologize, than lie. I have no problem admitting I screwed up and apologizing if it's appropriate.

Lying is the lazy, chicken shit way out.


Perfectly stated.



I second that.

_____________________________

Resident "11"

"I love you, Sir. You make my heart sing and my panties wet. What more could a girl ask for?" - hejira92

"And that's why it's good to be...Me." - Gene $immons

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Do you ever say to yourself - 2/3/2010 11:33:32 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		*sends love to Cuff and his girl*

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to Cuffkinks)
Profile   Post #: 20
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