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RE: Do you ever say to yourself - 2/3/2010 11:36:50 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		Sometimes I see a new thread and I say to myself, " what the FUCK is wrong with people"

Jeff


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RE: Do you ever say to yourself - 2/3/2010 11:45:53 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		I say that on the roads, at work, on the boards, in the grocery store, and so on....

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polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

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RE: Do you ever say to yourself - 2/3/2010 12:06:02 PM   
Nslavu


Posts: 342
Joined: 2/1/2010
Status: offline 		My Self is the Dom. I've learned never to question His wisdom. What appears to be mistakes are surely His exquisitely planned experiences for my enjoyment only.

(in reply to ForeverOwned)
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RE: Do you ever say to yourself - 2/3/2010 5:02:39 PM   
DominusJ


Posts: 12
Joined: 1/21/2010
Status: offline 		How to handle a mistake has nothing to do with Dominance.
You can either apologize and try to make up for it, or be a jerk.

A more rational question would be how you submissive reacts with your mistakes or what happens when there is a difference of opinion between D and s about what is a mistake.

In any case, like in most relations, a D/s relation with lots of mistakes has no (bright) future.

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RE: Do you ever say to yourself - 2/3/2010 5:36:54 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ForeverOwned

when dealing with your sub; did i handle this right or maybe i shouldn't of gone that far?

If you ever find yourself in that situation what do you do? ......



well.... I suppse of what I will do with regards to your second question will depend on how I answer the first one.

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Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to ForeverOwned)
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RE: Do you ever say to yourself - 2/3/2010 9:55:06 PM   
CNJDom


Posts: 186
Joined: 6/6/2006
From: Southern NJ
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ForeverOwned

when dealing with your sub; did i handle this right or maybe i shouldn't of gone that far?

If you ever find yourself in that situation what do you do? Or do you do nothing at all?  We are all human beings and we all make mistakes, do you own up to them or do you just hope noone notices? :)


If you are talking about an act or something in a scene-play, you can own up to that by gently acknowledging to your submissive by checking in with her to let her know that you're concerned...either by a word, touch, or some other subtle gesture.  This shows that you are not just flailing away without a concern.

If you are talking about a situation, then yes you should own up to that as well if it was clearly a mistake.  If you think you made a mistake, you can still "check in" by observation, by direct inquiry while still maintaining your status.  Show that you are a caring human among other things, and that respect will grow rather than diminish as it might do if the faux pas goes unaddressed through ignorance or avoidance.   


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“For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it.”
 ~Ivan Panin

(in reply to ForeverOwned)
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RE: Do you ever say to yourself - 2/4/2010 1:45:38 AM   
Whiplashsmile4


Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ForeverOwned

when dealing with your sub; did i handle this right or maybe i shouldn't of gone that far?

If you ever find yourself in that situation what do you do? Or do you do nothing at all?  We are all human beings and we all make mistakes, do you own up to them or do you just hope noone notices? :)


It all depends, there are times when later on I thought I went to far and other times when I felt I did not go far enough. The fact, is this. I did exactly what I thought/felt was right in that moment. If I had thought/felt otherwise at the time, I would have done something different. Do I reflect upon my own choices and decisions, you betcha I do. Then again, this has nothing to do with my orientation. You see us human beings are mentally hard wired to think about shit.

I can take ownership of my own mistakes, however if the other party is at fault or screwed up, I by no means let them off the hook. Meaning, I make certain to own up to my half of a screwed up situation and not let them use my own guilt to wiggle out of their share of the ownership. Issues or problems in a relationship generally are not all one sided, however at times they can be. It All depends.

This is a rather difficult question to answer because it truely does all depend upon the situation and circumstances. There are times when it's best to move on with life like nothing happened. Some people get hung up and stuck on issues that are really not big issues at all. Again, this all depends.

(in reply to ForeverOwned)
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RE: Do you ever say to yourself - 2/6/2010 9:20:20 AM   
texangael


Posts: 167
Joined: 12/14/2009
Status: offline
quote:

when dealing with your sub; did i handle this right or maybe i shouldn't of gone that far?

With submissives, with employees, with children....always.

If you do not question what you do, you will not improve what you do.


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"Try not. Do. Or do not. There is no Try."
Corny movie cliche that just happens to be true.

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RE: Do you ever say to yourself - 4/27/2010 3:40:54 PM   
dragon200070


Posts: 93
Joined: 2/9/2010
Status: offline 		Hi,
My slave and I usually talk about every scene aftwerwards. I may not say I'm unsure, but I can ask how she felt about this or that. And she will give me full answers.

Jeff

(in reply to ForeverOwned)
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RE: Do you ever say to yourself - 4/28/2010 4:35:11 AM   
allthatjaz


Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline 		This reminds me of the time when I lost a staple in a guys testicles!
I remember thinking 'ah right, shit, em... shall I tell him'
I did tell him but I remained incredibly calm or at least he thought so! and I offered him the opportunity to have a real cut and suture which he jumped at because he was a genuine medical bunny.
All ended well in that particular case but I'm pretty sure if I had said 'OMG I'm so sorry but I have lost a staple in your balls' he would of freaked.

Yes I have apologized but I think more in the D/s way than S/m way. If I have confused a sub with what I have asked for by being inconsistent then the onus is on me and not on them.

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S&M (Steve and Maria) persona libre de convencionalismos


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(in reply to dragon200070)
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RE: Do you ever say to yourself - 4/28/2010 9:05:53 AM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline 		Thanks for this allthatjazz... You've managed to make me wince and choke on coffee on a single post

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RE: Do you ever say to yourself - 4/29/2010 2:25:09 AM   
reynardfox


Posts: 417
Joined: 9/8/2009
Status: offline 		Since I always agree a scenario and safe word and stick to both, there is no question of going too far. If people make it up as they go along, then bad stuff can happen. I'm old fashioned and a bit of a stick in the mud, but I don't do a damn thing without the full consent of whoever I am playing with, anyone who may be joining in and anyone who I allow to watch. It's got to be safe and it's got to be consensual, insane, however, is always an option I am willing to explore.
Been playing avidly for thirty five years, it's gone really well so far.

(in reply to ForeverOwned)
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RE: Do you ever say to yourself - 4/29/2010 6:31:58 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		~FR~  Asking myself such questions is just part of my nature and I find that a mental "debriefing" or reviewing things I have done or even some discussions is a great way to make improvements and fine tuning. I have done this with every client/patient I have dealt with just as I have done with every military and security operation I have been involved with. 

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to ForeverOwned)
Profile   Post #: 33
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