quote:

ORIGINAL: CaringandReal

Others have been extremely eloquent in this thread, so I think I'll just do a grocery list.

Patience.
Persistence.
Assertiveness/agressiveness/making the first move.
Inner maturity: i.e., someone who doesn't write, speak, or act like a 55-year-old 5-year-old.
Charm.
Perceptiveness.
What littlewonder said: a spark. My spin on that is a little different, though. Most dominant "personalities" on a personal-ad site come across as damp wet washrags or moldy leaves in the compost heap. There's absolutely nothing that makes them stand out from the masses of cookie-cutter clone-doms that look and sound just like them. A spark is something that makes you look twice at a profile, say to yourself, "hmm, there's something special there.'
Brilliance.
An intense need to control. I personally love control freaks.
An equally strong understand of the mechanics of control: what works, what doesn't. Lally describes how that works in her post.
Sexy. I don't care about physical looks so much (although it never hurts!) but it's really special and unusual to run across a dominant who knows how to make you feel thrilled around them. And yet, it's essential, if they want me to submit to them.

I've really enjoyed reading the answers here. Some of the posts (Juliaoceania's, Lally's, Littlewonder's, DesFTP's, Camille's) are right on target with my expectations as well. Juliaoceania's made me wonder if we had met some of the same people, in fact. ;)

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Off-topic:

I don't know what it is about the majority of "dominants" one meets through this site. They just don't come across as attractive in any of the ways that submissives consider attractive, and even worse, they don't seem to care about their cluelessness. The don't see attracting a mate as what it actually is, I guess: control and power to influence others. That "I'm single and horny and needy but also totally not caring" could be read as superior arrogance I suppose, by someone navie, but to me it's postured arrogance, which is of course very lame, full of fail, if you will. Several someones read a web page or saw a movie telling him how a dominnat acts and he's trying to assume that role rather than just being himself. The whole Sir Steven "I am VERY FOND of victuals (sic)" thing. It gets old the second time you see it--let along the 2,000th time.