Disabled People in the Lifestyle??? (Full Version)

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MasterRenegade77 -> Disabled People in the Lifestyle??? (3/26/2006 10:37:08 AM)

Is it Just Me or are Disabled people in the Lifestyle at a distinct disadvantage (Masters or slaves) when it comes to finding thier counterparts??? I'd like to hear from disabled As well as able bodied Dom/mes & sub/slaves on this matter... I was a Dom before My accident that put Me in this chair, unfortunately the internet didn't come into being until after My accident either... I've been looking for R/t slaves on the internet for over nine years but all I find is those wanting cyber collars or those that say they want to be My slave but when push comes to shove they're gone... Which leads Me to conclude that Many out here are only living in a fantasy world & in doing so sully the Lifestyle for the True Dom/mes & sub/slaves...



IronBear -> RE: Disabled People in the Lifestyle??? (3/26/2006 10:55:41 AM)

I have one or three disabilities but can still get about ok. I no longer look for a girl, Not due to my disability or age. Rather due to thebeing no unclooared slaves in cooee of me who relate to a Gorean Lifestyle and who will accept a poly relationship... A couple of folk killed a couple of chances by threatening to ostrocise thee possibilities if they teamed up with me (Jees how I love small minded people). But mate, I know a few disabled Dominants who have no problems infinding play partners of sub/slaves who jump at the chance for a collar. Just keep on truckin' mate and thumbs up....



truesub4u -> RE: Disabled People in the Lifestyle??? (3/26/2006 11:07:00 AM)

I recently had a Dom tell me my diability will make it harder for me to get away from him.. LOL. So not all think disability is a problem. 



JohnWarren -> RE: Disabled People in the Lifestyle??? (3/26/2006 11:08:23 AM)

I know a number of disabled people in the scene.  They seem to have the same problems as most people in matching up with their counterparts.  While the disability may play some part in the "hitch up" process.  It's far from insurmountable.

What is often more of a problem is a long "laundry list" of requirements for a partner.  You say you've been told you are "too particular" for some submissives and seem to immediately discount them as wannabes.  Once this attitude gets around (and you do seem to be broadcasting it both in your profile and in your message here) it does sharply reduce the number of submissive women who will give you a second look.

I'd recommend you take a look at the last lines of your profile and try rewriting the previous lines in that spirt.



Vancouver_cinful -> RE: Disabled People in the Lifestyle??? (3/26/2006 11:20:42 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren
I'd recommend you take a look at the last lines of your profile and try rewriting the previous lines in that spirt.

I have to agree with John (as usual LOL). As a sub I read that list and felt in no way could a sub hope to match all those requirements. I was put off by the tone that gave me the impression of someone cold and unbending. It likely wasn't your intention to project that but, that's how it came across, to me.

I was a bit offended by your last few lines and especially the use of the words obese and ugly. Very few mature women resemble Barbie dolls. And if that is what you hope to find then I think John is right in saying that's likely what is hindering your search. Naturally we all want to feel an attraction to our mate, but looks are only one aspect of what makes a person attractive.

Welcome to the forums, and I hope you find the comments here helpful, not critical.

Cin



MasterRenegade77 -> RE: Disabled People in the Lifestyle??? (3/26/2006 11:24:55 AM)

I never said in My journal that I discounted those that said I was "Too Particular" as Wannabes What I did say is "To that I say, I was particular before My accident, Why should I take a slave that's not going to meet My needs, I'll not be happy & it'd show??? Too Many Dom/mes (in desperation) & wannabes take a sub/slave then cast them aside when they're done w/them, often ruining that one to the Lifestyle!!!"  Please Do not try to twist My words or intent...



ownedgirlie -> RE: Disabled People in the Lifestyle??? (3/26/2006 11:30:32 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren

I'd recommend you take a look at the last lines of your profile and try rewriting the previous lines in that spirt.


i totally agree with this.  Were i unowned, i would have been turned away by the laundry list before i ever cast a second glance at the wheelchair issue.  And not because i may or may not fall into such categories, but because a paragraph such as that - in my opinion - describes a simple mind.

Regarding disabilities, well i live in a fantasy world where people look at what's on the inside rather than the out.  In time i may be wheeling my Master around in his own chair, and i am not phased by that.  However, i did on one occasion, advise a slave friend of mine about the way she comes across (she has MS and lupus).  i said she presents herself as an ill slave, rather than as a slave.  Because of her own esteem issues as a result of her illness, she does not let her true self shine through.  Therefore, prospective dominants see the illness before the slave.  Those who present themselves as such, do themselves a disservice.

Having said all of that, i can't imagine a disabled person would have more or less issues finding a partner in the D/s world than in the vanilla world. 



MasterRenegade77 -> RE: Disabled People in the Lifestyle??? (3/26/2006 11:31:52 AM)

I also used the term scrawny there too LOL  I guess I'm just a Baaaaad Man *WEG*



Vancouver_cinful -> RE: Disabled People in the Lifestyle??? (3/26/2006 11:42:14 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterRenegade77

I also used the term scrawny there too LOL  I guess I'm just a Baaaaad Man *WEG*

Just be aware that your use of these kinds of words gives others the impression that you are intolerant, and judgemental.

Cin



ownedgirlie -> RE: Disabled People in the Lifestyle??? (3/26/2006 11:45:03 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Vancouver_cinful

Just be aware that your use of these kinds of words gives others the impression that you are intolerant, and judgemental.

Cin


i am actually not very phased by intolerance and judgmentalism, but superficiality comes to mind, which has always been a repellant to me.  Whether or not he is superficial, that particular element of his profile communicates such.



MasterRenegade77 -> RE: Disabled People in the Lifestyle??? (3/26/2006 11:51:30 AM)

Thank you for your words of advice, I just don't know how to put them more delicately... I just don't want a slave that doesn't Move Me sorry... BTW I tried to go into My Profile to see what I could do about the "Laundry List" (I do Listen) but CM is Burping on Me at the Moment... 



JohnWarren -> RE: Disabled People in the Lifestyle??? (3/26/2006 12:06:11 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterRenegade77

I also used the term scrawny there too LOL  I guess I'm just a Baaaaad Man *WEG*


OK, guess you're on your own.



Steel -> RE: Disabled People in the Lifestyle??? (3/26/2006 12:11:15 PM)

Your post was very interesting, you stated you were a Dom before your accident , so having an accident that has confined you to a wheelchair made you any less Dominant? Being in the lifestyle before the internet came into play should tell you that things are much different now.
The so-called online-doms ( I do not cap their names because they have not earned that respect) have broken or tattered the spirit of those who wish to serve.  So there is a big trust issue when it comes to finding a submissive who wish to explore their submission and enter into a relationship with someone they do not know. As the others have state, you really need to sit back and read your profile over and consider a few changes because what you have down makes it look as though you have no interest in a submissive at all. For someone with 30 years background your profile reads of someone full of anger over their disability instead of someone seeking to train the one who will serve you.

Good luck



MySweetSubmssive -> RE: Disabled People in the Lifestyle??? (3/26/2006 12:15:53 PM)

It seems to me that your primary "disability" is in how you greet the world.  The tone of your profile strikes me as being harsh, unhappy and disappointed in the world.  So not only do you alienate people by offering a laundry list to live up to, you create an image of yourself -- rightly or wrongly -- that pushes people away. ... just my observation.



DarkSideOfThMoon -> RE: Disabled People in the Lifestyle??? (3/26/2006 12:25:16 PM)

When you look like Mr. Depp I think you can be that particular about how a sub looks, until then, how a sub behaves is much more important. Your disability would not bother me, your attitude would.



michaelGA -> RE: Disabled People in the Lifestyle??? (3/26/2006 12:26:41 PM)

you'll find a lot of word twisters in these forums as well as bashers...post with caution is my only advice.



MasterRenegade77 -> RE: Disabled People in the Lifestyle??? (3/26/2006 12:33:02 PM)

I've gone back to My profile & did a "little" editing which you'll not be able to see till the powers that be here approve it... Thinks I'll have to go to My other profiles on ALT & B.com & edit those also... I realize I made a Mistake when I first posed the Query about Disabled folks in the Lifestyle that drew the focus to Me & My Profile This was Not the Intent... Where I wanted the focus was  on Disabled people & their difficulties in the LifeStyle!!!



BitaTruble -> RE: Disabled People in the Lifestyle??? (3/26/2006 12:42:21 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterRenegade77

Is it Just Me or are Disabled people in the Lifestyle at a distinct disadvantage (Masters or slaves) when it comes to finding thier counterparts??? I'd like to hear from disabled As well as able bodied Dom/mes & sub/slaves on this matter...



Any time the field is narrowed, by either what you offer or what you seek, the pool of available slaves becomes smaller. It's simple math. I responded to your other post on the other thread because I hadn't read this thread yet. So just ignore what I wrote there.. it was all said here already. ::chuckles::

Once again.. good luck to you with your search,

Celeste



Shayna -> RE: Disabled People in the Lifestyle??? (3/26/2006 1:20:46 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSideOfThMoon

Your disability would not bother me, your attitude would.


That sums it up!

Lovely profile, Dark. Best wishes :)





Level -> RE: Disabled People in the Lifestyle??? (3/26/2006 1:44:46 PM)

I think you know as well as I do that there are some who would have a problem with your being in a wheelchair. "Oh, he's a really great guy, but..............."
 
So, as some have said, that would reduce the number of availible partners for you. Either change your profile, as you've stated you've just done, or hold out for just the right one. That would be the ideal, to my mind, but you certainly run the risk of never finding her, and remaining alone.
 
Lastly, no matter how many times you may tweak the profile, don't "lose" yourself in doing it.
 
Level



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