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the 40+ subs who approach me - 3/26/2006 12:00:01 PM

kitriana

Posts: 62
Joined: 5/29/2005
Status: offline

I am all for open mindedness, and I will consider people up to my sister's age (36), if we hit it off, but why do "sub" (been using that term loosely of late) men in their 50s and 60s constantly find it necessary to ask if i have a place for them? I mean, I am young enough to be their kid.

THINK ABOUT IT.. My dad is in his 50s.. that's sickening to me. How would you guys feel if men your age were trying to get in with your daughters?

Is it just me thinking this or is there some insight I am missing to put this in another perspective?

Post #: 1

RE: the 40+ subs who approach me - 3/26/2006 12:31:11 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

A lot of people, especially older people who grew up in a more strict society socially, are looking for someone, anyone, to dominate them. I know this might come across wrong, but it's not meant to: it's probably not some overwhelming characteristic you have, it's just that they're willing to do anything to fulfill their fantasy/desire. If they can get this fantasy fulfilled for free, rather than paying a Professional, they'll try to get that (people are cheap! LOL). They might also be thinking that if you're young, you are more likely to be easily convinced to do things that someone older or more a experienced woman might not. It may or may not be true, but that could be running through their heads. Or, it could be that they are truly dirty old men...or that they could have a genuine interest in you. I'd suggest putting it in your profile what your upper age limit is and why (politely). If they still contact you, you know they haven't even read your profile and, most likely, they are sending every Fem Dom within a 100 miles radius that exact same message. At that point, you don't feel bad about ignoring them.

Fire

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(in reply to kitriana)

Post #: 2

RE: the 40+ subs who approach me - 3/26/2006 12:37:54 PM

kitriana

Posts: 62
Joined: 5/29/2005
Status: offline

I never feel bad about my decisions. Its part of thinking things through and not being rash. Its true, I do things for free, because if I charge this would be a job, jobs are work and work is no fun... come on. I am very experienced.. you would be surprised. I can safely say I have already done EVERYTHING that I have any interest to do, and have done some things I had no interest in whatsoever just to see.. (I started a loooong time ago) I tend to stick with my guns though.. so to speak..

As for people just being drawn to me, I suppose that could be true, but if it were, when I asked them why they want me to dominate them as opposed to anyone else, I would think I would be getting better (or actual) answers. My age bounds are laid out nicely in my profile.. always have been.. (god forbid at the bottom..)

Good point about the ignorance of reading.. perhaps I should put a quiz in my profile too.

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 3

RE: the 40+ subs who approach me - 3/26/2006 12:41:51 PM

justjill

Posts: 28
Joined: 3/19/2006
Status: offline

To each there own. There are many women who are attracted to much older men. That is not your thing and that is ubdestandable. when I was in my early twenties I was mainly attracted to men in their thirties and forties. Now that I am in my mid thirties I am not interested in men in their mid fifties or older. For me it is not about how old my parents are or anything else. It is about what stage of life people are in. The fact is I want somone for long-term and the ability to share a life with and all that regular life deals with.

I think it is polite when older men ask if their age is OK. It is better than many of them who go caveman and try to bat a much younger sub/slave in the head with the usual "I am real and very expereinced and everyone else is fake and dangerous" stuff that I normally got.

So a big age difference is not your thing. Good for you in knowing yourself but I do not think there is anything wrong with it between two sane adults if that is what they like.

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 4

RE: the 40+ subs who approach me - 3/26/2006 12:45:20 PM

Sensualips

Posts: 1013
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline

I don't think about it in terms of the age of a son/daughter or as a father/mother. That is a completely different aspect of my life and not relevant.

(in reply to kitriana)

Post #: 5

RE: the 40+ subs who approach me - 3/26/2006 12:51:59 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

It's all a matter of perspective. In the thread about what is the oldest Dom one would consider, this is discussed at length. What is sickening to you, is no big deal to another.

(in reply to kitriana)

Post #: 6

RE: the 40+ subs who approach me - 3/26/2006 12:54:14 PM

kitriana

Posts: 62
Joined: 5/29/2005
Status: offline

it should be if they can't A) read a profile, or B) actually want to be taken seriously by someone. I am not the person they should be approaching if they want to be owned.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 7

RE: the 40+ subs who approach me - 3/26/2006 12:56:45 PM

devilwntdown

Posts: 8
Joined: 3/25/2006
Status: offline

i tend to think most are looking for anyone, it doesnt matter to them. they dont take time to read or understand where your comming from. and they throw themselves at as many people they can in hopes of just finding "someone". in order for me to even consider a sub, they have to show me that it is I that they want to lead them, not just "youll do for now".

(in reply to Sensualips)

Post #: 8

RE: the 40+ subs who approach me - 3/26/2006 12:59:11 PM

kitriana

Posts: 62
Joined: 5/29/2005
Status: offline

yeah. that is part of my application process. its a good policy I think.

(in reply to devilwntdown)

Post #: 9

RE: the 40+ subs who approach me - 3/26/2006 1:02:23 PM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

I personally have been petitioned by many young male subs 19 and older---there was a time before I became a Mother that didn't bother Me, and I hardly saw them as sons--however, My life requires a very different dynamic now.

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(in reply to kitriana)

Post #: 10

RE: the 40+ subs who approach me - 3/26/2006 1:08:23 PM

kitriana

Posts: 62
Joined: 5/29/2005
Status: offline

Another way to think about this is looking at it like the legal drinking age law.. as a society we draw the line at 21. Now we all know at midnight on your 21st birthday you aren't magically endowed with the maturity to handle alcohol responsibly. There are very mature 15 and 16 year olds who drink. But as a society, we recognize a line needs to be drawn, so we draw it there.

I recognize I need to draw some lines... I don't take people under 22 or over 35/36 for the most part unless they can prove to me they are mature enough for me not to want to throttle (younger end) or able to be laid back and fun (older end). If I hit it off with someone a little older or (god forbid) younger, I will see where it goes, but I think everyone has a line of some sort. Be it physical appearance, age, gender, money, experience, what limits you will or will not allow..

(in reply to MHOO314)

Post #: 11

RE: the 40+ subs who approach me - 3/26/2006 1:17:01 PM

littlesarbonn

Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline

The whole "they're old enough to be your father" thing is irrelevant and unimportant to people who are seeking to connect. Yes, it's important to you, but it's really not all that important to a lot of others.

If you have it in your profile for older people not to contact you, just delete the contacts and go on with your business. It's really not that big a deal unless you're under the impression you have to respond to each and every person who writes to you, especially if they don't understand how to read your profile.

People get WAY too concerned here over the most mundane things.

(in reply to kitriana)

Post #: 12

RE: the 40+ subs who approach me - 3/26/2006 1:22:21 PM

kitriana

Posts: 62
Joined: 5/29/2005
Status: offline

really? deleting it is all I have to do? bloody brilliant idea. I'm not concerned about it, I am a junior chem major in college, have too many r/t things going on to give a damn about it, I was just looking to see if my perspective was skewed on it.

(in reply to littlesarbonn)

Post #: 13

RE: the 40+ subs who approach me - 3/26/2006 1:22:58 PM

SilentSong

Posts: 2
Joined: 7/7/2005
Status: offline

I find that the topic of older people replying to posts with age limits that they are not in another example of the pervasive lack of respect I have found in the world. I try not to make sweeping judgements about people's choices but when I state my boundaries I expect them to be respected. I clearily state limits on my profile and regularly get posts from individuals who either did not read or do not care what is posted. Earlier I had an inquiry that requested a response. I responded in the negative as I am not taking on more subs right now. I received a snarky reply. Now I gave him what he requested and he still complained. Just lack of respect.

(in reply to kitriana)

Post #: 14

RE: the 40+ subs who approach me - 3/26/2006 1:26:54 PM

devilwntdown

Posts: 8
Joined: 3/25/2006
Status: offline

i think what is really lacking, is people tend to forget the true meaning of respect. over the years it has been lost. like with littles statement, "whats important to you isnt to others", that just shows lack of respect the way i see it. if what she is wanting is clearly outlined in her profile, people need to respect that no matter what. but if she was the one to bring on first contact, thats a whole different story all together.

(in reply to littlesarbonn)

Post #: 15

RE: the 40+ subs who approach me - 3/26/2006 1:29:58 PM

littlesarbonn

Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SilentSong

I find that the topic of older people replying to posts with age limits that they are not in another example of the pervasive lack of respect I have found in the world. I try not to make sweeping judgements about people's choices but when I state my boundaries I expect them to be respected. I clearily state limits on my profile and regularly get posts from individuals who either did not read or do not care what is posted. Earlier I had an inquiry that requested a response. I responded in the negative as I am not taking on more subs right now. I received a snarky reply. Now I gave him what he requested and he still complained. Just lack of respect.

As I've stated many times before on these boards, that's pretty much a very easy way to distinguish the difference between sincere submissives and those who are after quick satisfaction. Whenever I see a profile that lists parameters that exclude me, I nod sadly at the realization that everything else would have been perfect, but something didn't jive, so I then move on and look elsewhere, realizing that me contacting the woman would be a waste of time to both her and me.

There are those who pretty much get their only interaction in this "scene" by being those snarky comment makers. They represent a larger and larger segment of the population because they realize they can get a rise out of someone. The rest of us are usually quiet and go about our business, but because we're voiceless in these extremes, we kind of get lumped in with the extremists so that new women to the scene come under the impression that ALL men are like this.

On the other hand, as can be seen by examining this thread closer, older age is not necessary to prove rudeness in polite conversations with others.

(in reply to SilentSong)

Post #: 16

RE: the 40+ subs who approach me - 3/26/2006 1:33:45 PM

littlesarbonn

Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: devilwntdown

i think what is really lacking, is people tend to forget the true meaning of respect. over the years it has been lost. like with littles statement, "whats important to you isnt to others", that just shows lack of respect the way i see it. if what she is wanting is clearly outlined in her profile, people need to respect that no matter what. but if she was the one to bring on first contact, thats a whole different story all together.

Respect has been lacking online for quite some time. It's not like it just started happening today. However, continuing to feed the beast by responding to them is EXACTLY why they continue to do it. If they were all completely ignored, they'd slowly go away.

< Message edited by littlesarbonn -- 3/26/2006 1:34:43 PM >

(in reply to devilwntdown)

Post #: 17

RE: the 40+ subs who approach me - 3/26/2006 1:40:00 PM

kitriana

Posts: 62
Joined: 5/29/2005
Status: offline

oh, I can be perfectly polite and respectful and hold a very eloquent conversation.. but you earlier remark of deleting it and not worrying about it just seemed dreadfully out of place. My initial question wasn't "Oh lordy, what do I do?" it was "is there some reason that I can't account for that might explain why I get 30+ emails a day from men 40 and older?"

(in reply to littlesarbonn)

Post #: 18

RE: the 40+ subs who approach me - 3/26/2006 1:42:30 PM

littlesarbonn

Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kitriana

oh, I can be perfectly polite and respectful and hold a very eloquent conversation.. but you earlier remark of deleting it and not worrying about it just seemed dreadfully out of place. My initial question wasn't "Oh lordy, what do I do?" it was "is there some reason that I can't account for that might explain why I get 30+ emails a day from men 40 and older?"

Demographics.

(in reply to kitriana)

Post #: 19

RE: the 40+ subs who approach me - 3/26/2006 1:46:02 PM

kitriana

Posts: 62
Joined: 5/29/2005
Status: offline

very well. that makes sense.

(in reply to littlesarbonn)

Post #: 20

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