Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Ladies, am I the only one that gets this harassment?...


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Ladies, am I the only one that gets this harassment?... Page: [1] 2 3 4   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Ladies, am I the only one that gets this harassment?... - 2/6/2010 12:15:57 PM   
DeviantKat


Posts: 7
Joined: 12/4/2008
Status: offline 		I have been on this site for over a year now and love it for the most part. I have met some amazing friends through the site and I am 100% thankful for that.

However lately it seems that I get harassed via email by strangers both "sub" and "Dom" at least once a week if not more.
Im assuming these are men that browse profiles looking for something and once they land on mine something sets them off and they feel the urge to email extremely nasty emails that I consider to be rude regardless of what site it might happen to be on.

For me I have always viewed this site to be a save haven for BDSM lifestylers who are able to share their fetish interests openly without judgement.

I've always viewed this site as a tight knit community for those who love the lifestyle site that is something special that we all share with each other. My role as a Domme for the past 7 years has always been taken seriously by myself and I like to think that I although I may not be compatible with everyone on this site I still have enough decency to treat others with respect unless we are in "play mode".

I love being involved in the lifestyle personally but I also love being able to share that on another level to when doing events, shows and "parties". I dont force it on anyone and I dont come on to this site to seek out "victims" that I can take advantage of. The only time I offer my services as "pro domme" is when someone contacts me first and is soley interested in that.

I have met my "personal" subbie off of this site (and I am thankful to CM for that ) and I have also met some pretty good friends through here as well which is all I really ask for from this site when I participate in the video chatrooms and such.

I know that not everyone will agree with my views on how I live my BDSM lifestyle and that is fine because we all have our own ways of being involved in it the way it fits each of our personal likings but is it ok for users on this site to email me with all kinds of horrible things attacking me when I have never once emailed these people people or even seen them in the chat rooms and such???

Even if we all dont see eye to eye shouldnt we feel comfortable enough to be able to check our emails on here without being attacked for how we decide to be active in our lifestyles?

I know I am ranting now and some might not have nice things to say about this post either but I just wanted to see if any other ladies on this site have had similar experiences.

I really do value all the friendships I have made on this site I just dont see why I get targeted for emails like this when I have always made sure that anyone I come in contact with on here always has a pleasant experience with me (Even if its in a "naughty" way).

Here is a taste of what I got this morning for no good reason what so ever (since I dont offer sex to anyone on this site or on my profile) by someone I have never talked to on this site before:

"ARE YOU FUCKIN SERIOUS????

U EXPECT PEOPLE TO WANT THAT WORN-OUT CUNT?

YOU LOOK LIKE A TOTAL FUCKIN SKANKY PIECE OF CRACK WHORE...

ANY REAL MAN WOULDN’T FUCK YOU WITH A STOLEN DICK!

GO FUCK YOUR DADDY (AGAIN) OR HIS BLIND MULE JASPER, YOU FUCKIN COW!"

All I can say is OUCH! I hate when people attack other people based on looks. Thats not what we are on this site for. Right?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Ladies, am I the only one that gets this harassment... - 2/6/2010 12:21:21 PM   
HisSweetElysium


Posts: 600
Joined: 11/12/2009
Status: offline 		WHAT? LOL, I think you're lovely.  Some ppl hate what they can't have.  How pathetic their lives must be if that's the energy they put out into the universe. It's rare I get something so crass, but it's happened.  Far more ppl have nice things to say, it makes more sense to focus on that, and feel sorry for the rest.  

_____________________________

“This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First to let go of life. Finally, to take a step without feet.” Rumi

(in reply to DeviantKat)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Ladies, am I the only one that gets this harassment... - 2/6/2010 12:29:11 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		As a pro domme, I'm sure you are quite used to some people having issues with you due to your profession.  I'm sure that is where some of this is coming from.

Ignore, block, delete.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to HisSweetElysium)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Ladies, am I the only one that gets this harassment... - 2/6/2010 12:30:51 PM   
DeviantKat


Posts: 7
Joined: 12/4/2008
Status: offline 		Can I just start by saying WOW! You are absolutely STUNNING!!! Thank you for the kind words.
I've always felt a "family" connection with my friends on here so to get random emails like that from guys on here kind of hit a personal core with me.

I would never try to intentional hurt someone on here. Its uncalled for. We should all be having fun experiences with out interests on this site.


quote:

ORIGINAL: HisSweetElysium

WHAT? LOL, I think you're lovely.  Some ppl hate what they can't have.  How pathetic their lives must be if that's the energy they put out into the universe. It's rare I get something so crass, but it's happened.  Far more ppl have nice things to say, it makes more sense to focus on that, and feel sorry for the rest.  

(in reply to HisSweetElysium)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Ladies, am I the only one that gets this harassment... - 2/6/2010 12:31:37 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		LP?... is it wrong of Me to wish DG was here.....:)


Jeff

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Ladies, am I the only one that gets this harassment... - 2/6/2010 12:32:51 PM   
winterlight


Posts: 1319
Joined: 2/18/2006
Status: offline 		Put it down as people that are insecure, mean, rotten, nasty and have nothing in life to do but put down others.

I agree you are STUNNING. Agrees with above, block, delete and concentrate on the ones that have meaning, your friends here and family!

(in reply to DeviantKat)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Ladies, am I the only one that gets this harassment... - 2/6/2010 12:32:58 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Jefff, not a bit, though I think the thread will turn in a very unhappy direction if that happens.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Ladies, am I the only one that gets this harassment... - 2/6/2010 12:35:57 PM   
HisSweetElysium


Posts: 600
Joined: 11/12/2009
Status: offline 		thank YOU in reply!  I understand your sentiments, it's hard to imagine someone who just lashes out at a complete stranger for no reason other than their own bitterness, but it does happen.  I get less of it now that my profile says "friends only" but my "lives for" liberal politics does get some people who want to "discuss" with me, i.e. their fist my face.  I know the feeling when you open the mail and something so hateful looms up at you, and that nasty chill goes through you.  Sucks to be imposed on like that, but thanks to the block feature, you only have to see it once from that person anyway.



_____________________________

“This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First to let go of life. Finally, to take a step without feet.” Rumi

(in reply to DeviantKat)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Ladies, am I the only one that gets this harassment... - 2/6/2010 12:41:20 PM   
Sanguinarian


Posts: 474
Joined: 8/13/2008
Status: offline 		OP, just ignore them, they aren't worth your time.

I see no problem with your profile or your pics, but I understand where you are coming from. I often get Cmails about the validity of my blood disorders from people who obviously haven't done the research. But if you need someone to vent to, feel free to mail me.

(in reply to HisSweetElysium)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Ladies, am I the only one that gets this harassment... - 2/6/2010 12:41:22 PM   
DeviantKat


Posts: 7
Joined: 12/4/2008
Status: offline 		You are so right. Im sure a lot of it is but I try to make it not so "pushed" on people when they are reading my profile.

I get negative emails about it all the time, but the really nasty ones just get to me.
I try to make friends here, not enemies.

Cant win them all I guess


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

As a pro domme, I'm sure you are quite used to some people having issues with you due to your profession.  I'm sure that is where some of this is coming from.

Ignore, block, delete.


(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Ladies, am I the only one that gets this harassment... - 2/6/2010 12:45:25 PM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline 		Every so often I notice there will be a sweep of nonsense posts sent to me, then it'll dry up for a while, then back, then gone.  Just report them and move on, no biggy.  Trolls are trolls and this is the internet.

_____________________________

Relationships come and go, but plastination is forever.

I generally use fast-reply. If directing my post at someone specific I will indicate so.

Minimal summary: Artist, Disabled Veteran, Vegan, Pornographer, and Agender dominant female.

(in reply to DeviantKat)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Ladies, am I the only one that gets this harassment... - 2/6/2010 12:45:40 PM   
Lucienne


Posts: 1175
Joined: 9/5/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DeviantKat
I really do value all the friendships I have made on this site I just dont see why I get targeted for emails like this when I have always made sure that anyone I come in contact with on here always has a pleasant experience with me (Even if its in a "naughty" way).


I'm pretty sure you do see why you get targeted for emails like this.



quote:

Here is a taste of what I got this morning for no good reason what so ever (since I dont offer sex to anyone on this site or on my profile) by someone I have never talked to on this site before:


Lol. So if he'd insulted your strap-on it would make more sense to you? I don't think your profile would pass the "best practices" inspection for avoiding being arrested for prostitution. But even if it did, you're still obviously offering sexual activities in exchange for money. That the raging idiot that wrote you focused on your vagina rather than the actual sexual practices you offer does nothing to obscure the fact that he's calling you a whore. If your profile did offer vaginal intercourse, would the hostile message make sense to you?

quote:

"ARE YOU FUCKIN SERIOUS????

U EXPECT PEOPLE TO WANT THAT WORN-OUT CUNT?

YOU LOOK LIKE A TOTAL FUCKIN SKANKY PIECE OF CRACK WHORE...

ANY REAL MAN WOULDN’T FUCK YOU WITH A STOLEN DICK!

GO FUCK YOUR DADDY (AGAIN) OR HIS BLIND MULE JASPER, YOU FUCKIN COW!"

All I can say is OUCH! I hate when people attack other people based on looks. Thats not what we are on this site for. Right?


He's not attacking you based on looks. He's attacking you based on you having a vagina. And attacking vaginas is part of what this site is for, but in a consensual and intimate way, of course. I just find it fascinating that you can read a flood of misogynistic tripe like that and respond with "ouchy, he doesn't like my looks, please kiss my boo boo and make it go away." NEWS: Misogynist verbally attacks sex worker. It's not about you. He's obviously an asshole. I don't have any problem with pro-dommes, but I do have an issue with someone running a commercial enterprise trying to masquerade it as some warm fuzzy puppies and rainbows "lifestyle" issue. It's not personal. It's business.

(in reply to DeviantKat)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Ladies, am I the only one that gets this harassment... - 2/6/2010 12:48:41 PM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline 		I get them too - I just think of them as the 'twat pack' and delete, block, hide (after reporting them to the powers-that-be)

I don't know why I get grief - I've only got a fuzzy body pic of me and a couple of rather cute penguin/bunny pics. They're just sad losers who know that we are waaaay out of their league, so they get all juvenile and bitchy knowing they're never, ever going to get laid by something other than their own misshapen fist...

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk


(in reply to HisSweetElysium)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Ladies, am I the only one that gets this harassment... - 2/6/2010 12:48:58 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DeviantKat
Ladies, am I the only one that gets this harassment?...

No, you aren't. As FemDommes, pro or not, we get harassed in all sorts of ways. Comes with the territory.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
Ignore, block, delete.

Seriously, best advice ever.

I focus on the great emails I get.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Ladies, am I the only one that gets this harassment... - 2/6/2010 12:49:29 PM   
DeviantKat


Posts: 7
Joined: 12/4/2008
Status: offline 		You are very welcome!

I love that you list liberal politics as a "lives for".
I think we should all be able to add what we like to our profile without getting negative feedback for it.

There should be no room for close minded people in the scene...just my opinion.

quote:

ORIGINAL: HisSweetElysium

thank YOU in reply!  I understand your sentiments, it's hard to imagine someone who just lashes out at a complete stranger for no reason other than their own bitterness, but it does happen.  I get less of it now that my profile says "friends only" but my "lives for" liberal politics does get some people who want to "discuss" with me, i.e. their fist my face.  I know the feeling when you open the mail and something so hateful looms up at you, and that nasty chill goes through you.  Sucks to be imposed on like that, but thanks to the block feature, you only have to see it once from that person anyway.



(in reply to HisSweetElysium)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Ladies, am I the only one that gets this harassment... - 2/6/2010 12:57:00 PM   
pyroaquatic


Posts: 1535
Joined: 12/4/2006
From: Pyroaquatica
Status: offline 		You have nothing to worry about Devious Kitty, the universe tends to sort itself out in the long run. Those individuals who decided to send you those messages are most likely festering in a pit of self-loathing for they cannot understand how to undertake such a beautiful character (in both mind and body).

You are a professional. In your line of work you can dish it out and you can take it (I hope).



_____________________________

You are what your deep, driving desire is.
As your desire is, so is your will.
As your will is, so is your deed.
As your deed is, so is your destiny.
-Brihadaranyaka Upanishad IV.4.5

(in reply to DeviantKat)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Ladies, am I the only one that gets this harassment... - 2/6/2010 12:57:58 PM   
zephyroftheNorth


Posts: 8159
Joined: 10/5/2009
From: The Great Frozen North
Status: offline 		Kat, I think you are giving them much too much credit. I seriously doubt they are reading your profile, that would require effort. Instead I think they send these emails out to random females; I've gotten them and I'm a slave.

As LadyP said block and delete....and laugh, because they are idiots with no social skills

zeph


_____________________________

And there's a smile when the pain comes
The pain gonna make ev'rything alright ~ Black Crows

Team Troll Trollop
Member: Cocksuckers For World Peace
Charter member: Lance's Fag Hags
Member: Subbie Mafia
Member: Hibbie's Hotties

(in reply to DeviantKat)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Ladies, am I the only one that gets this harassment... - 2/6/2010 12:59:24 PM   
EbonyWood


Posts: 2044
Joined: 7/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DeviantKat


For me I have always viewed this site to be a save haven for BDSM lifestylers who are able to share their fetish interests openly without judgement.



Probably a bad assumption. Admirable but naive.
 
People judge all the time. It's how we navigate life. Some people make those judgements public, and not in a pleasant way.
 
You're probably in the medium to high category of those receiving it. But you've probably also made your own judgement on others.
 
Assuming your hate mail is all from men is a judgement of sorts. They probably are, but you don't know for sure.
 
Besides it's just the internet. It's a pain, but there are worse forms of harassment going on in the real world.
 
Good luck.

(in reply to DeviantKat)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Ladies, am I the only one that gets this harassment... - 2/6/2010 1:09:55 PM   
DeviantKat


Posts: 7
Joined: 12/4/2008
Status: offline 		I love the way you put that!


quote:

ORIGINAL: pyroaquatic

You have nothing to worry about Devious Kitty, the universe tends to sort itself out in the long run. Those individuals who decided to send you those messages are most likely festering in a pit of self-loathing for they cannot understand how to undertake such a beautiful character (in both mind and body).

You are a professional. In your line of work you can dish it out and you can take it (I hope).



(in reply to pyroaquatic)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Ladies, am I the only one that gets this harassment... - 2/6/2010 1:11:43 PM   
DeviantKat


Posts: 7
Joined: 12/4/2008
Status: offline 		Wow really?!?!
That actually makes me feel a lot better to know.
Im sorry that you get them as well, knowing that some may be sent out at random like that makes a little more sense to me if that is the case.



quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

Kat, I think you are giving them much too much credit. I seriously doubt they are reading your profile, that would require effort. Instead I think they send these emails out to random females; I've gotten them and I'm a slave.

As LadyP said block and delete....and laugh, because they are idiots with no social skills

zeph


(in reply to zephyroftheNorth)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2 3 4   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Ladies, am I the only one that gets this harassment?... Page: [1] 2 3 4   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.078