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RE: When you entered into your first relationship as a ... - 2/7/2010 3:59:58 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ForeverOwned

is there anything new you discovered about yourself that you didn't know before?


I expect to learn something new about myself from any relationship, be it BDSM or vanilla. If I don't, it was probably a waste of time.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to ForeverOwned)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: When you entered into your first relationship as a ... - 2/7/2010 4:02:24 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

ORIGINAL: ForeverOwned

i'm sorry, but i have to respectfully disagree with you. There are people that go from relationship to relationship picking out the same type of person they had before. They pick out partners that will abuse them, cheat on them or refuse to commit, even though they went through the same thing with all of their other partners.  So, no you don't always learn.


And to be fair to the.dark., even those relationships that people think they learned nothing from, those were the ones with the biggest lessons, and even if it takes 20 of those relationships to learn those lessons, they were still eventually lessons learned...



That's quite true.

Not every lesson I got from my relationship came while I was in them. Some of them hit me years later. A person might learn, from a series of BDSM relationships, that they just aren't really into this. That's learning something about themselves.


_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: When you entered into your first relationship as a ... - 2/7/2010 4:06:34 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ForeverOwned

i'm sorry, but i have to respectfully disagree with you. There are people that go from relationship to relationship picking out the same type of person they had before. They pick out partners that will abuse them, cheat on them or refuse to commit, even though they went through the same thing with all of their other partners.  So, no you don't always learn.


I agree. However your comments relate to both vanilla and D/s relationships; your initial post was only asking what you learned about yourself as a submissive.

Additionally, sometimes people know why they do what they do or pick who they pick, but they need help in changing their patterns. Many times, patterns are not easily discerned or hard to break.

So while the self knowledge is there, the skills to change are not. And finally, sometimes you just fall for the wrong person; that is life.

< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 2/7/2010 4:07:15 PM >

(in reply to ForeverOwned)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: When you entered into your first relationship as a ... - 2/7/2010 4:25:33 PM   
BalletBob


Posts: 1645
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline 		I learned that I like a Riding Crop used on my rear. I never had it done to me before, and after I seen what fun MADAM's husband was having, getting hit, I asked to have a try. She used it on my rear, and I really like it !

Red Rear and all, sub BallerBob

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"I get my kicks above the Waistline, Sunshine"

(in reply to ForeverOwned)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: When you entered into your first relationship as a ... - 2/7/2010 9:11:58 PM   
sweetsub1957


Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline 		I found out that I am massively submissive and just suck it up, to the point that I have to be careful who I get involved with.

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to ForeverOwned)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: When you entered into your first relationship as a ... - 2/7/2010 10:07:13 PM   
jujubeeMB


Posts: 723
Joined: 1/8/2010
Status: offline 		I learned that all those people saying sex could be mind-blowing weren't exaggerating after all

(in reply to sweetsub1957)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: When you entered into your first relationship as a ... - 2/8/2010 4:38:42 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ForeverOwned

i'm sorry, but i have to respectfully disagree with you. There are people that go from relationship to relationship picking out the same type of person they had before. They pick out partners that will abuse them, cheat on them or refuse to commit, even though they went through the same thing with all of their other partners.  So, no you don't always learn.


There are plenty of things to learn about yourself, even if you choose the same type of partner. Discovering something new about yourself isn't limited to one type of thing.

agirl

(in reply to ForeverOwned)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: When you entered into your first relationship as a ... - 2/8/2010 8:28:56 AM   
LPslittleclip


Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline 		i learned that i am a service oriented slave  and that it was a big part of me that had been missig from my life. i now serve my wife and my mistress and love them both very much.

_____________________________

proud to serve the awsome
LadyPact

(in reply to agirl)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: When you entered into your first relationship as a ... - 2/8/2010 1:32:05 PM   
Futuresocks


Posts: 112
Joined: 5/25/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OMGlikegagme

Hunter Thomspon said once "It just never got weird enough for me."  I learned how truly weird, how deeply skewed, I really was.  I learned at a young age that there was no point in being involved with someone with whom I didn't click on some bizarre, kinky level, because trying to twist myself into another person's idea of fun was a snooze fest up and down the line.

Basically, I was lucky enough to be disabused of some illusions very early on.  I figured out that when it comes to anything more than friendship, I need a very particular and rather rare personality type and, when in doubt, move on before everybody is miserable.


Ditto...and well said. I'll also add that I was amazed at how fast and far my limits began to expand. The demoralizing, the abuse, it gave back more than I could have imagined.

(in reply to OMGlikegagme)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: When you entered into your first relationship as a ... - 2/8/2010 1:37:22 PM   
petmonkey


Posts: 1053
Joined: 7/7/2009
Status: offline 		that i really did have more to give than i was lead to believe previously.  

_____________________________

Be excellent to each other.


(in reply to ForeverOwned)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: When you entered into your first relationship as a ... - 2/8/2010 1:40:29 PM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		I learned that i was more submissive than i first thought. The fact that i was into the kinky stuff was a relvation to me.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to petmonkey)
Profile   Post #: 31
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