quote:

ORIGINAL: ForeverOwned

i for one do not try to pass myself off as Dr. Phil. i do not have a degree and i am not a therapist therefore, all i am qualified to do and all that i should be doing is wishing the Op well and hope for the best for her.

For those of you who have never made a bad mistake in a relationship or otherwise, please step aside so that us mere flawed mortals have more room to support each other.

quote:

I also am aware that what happened is completely my fault.

quote:

ORIGINAL: TapedxCookie

The reason I mentioned why I was attracted to him in the first place was because someone asked me. Not that I was attempting to defend him.

Also, my comment to Redmagic was simply an observation that he lives in the same part of the country as I do... That's all, wasn't a come on or anything of that nature. I live in very rural Iowa and finding people sooo close that share the same kink as I do is odd for me.

Take whatever assertions you will, run with them if that's what you wish.

I am fully aware that I am in desperate need of some self-reflecting thought, to figure out why I allow myself to be in such toxic relationships. I also am aware that what happened is completely my fault.

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

Still have the visual engraved in my noggin' of Lat, aka Ms. Grey, running at Jefff as he hoists her high up over his head while all the time staring at her delictable beav hidden only by the slimmest strap of a tiger skinned thong.

Her humongous labia protruding out from both sides of the straining fabric.


Well I had the time of my life and I owe it all to yooo...ooo....ooo...oooo....oooou!!!



Hmmmmmm....Lat has a sister!  Ward, do I smell a double date a brewin'?

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

Actually, unless she heals herself and finds out what made her accept any less than what she deserves, she WILL repeat it.

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ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

quote:

ORIGINAL: TapedxCookie

The reason I mentioned why I was attracted to him in the first place was because someone asked me. Not that I was attempting to defend him.

Also, my comment to Redmagic was simply an observation that he lives in the same part of the country as I do... That's all, wasn't a come on or anything of that nature. I live in very rural Iowa and finding people sooo close that share the same kink as I do is odd for me.

Take whatever assertions you will, run with them if that's what you wish.

I am fully aware that I am in desperate need of some self-reflecting thought, to figure out why I allow myself to be in such toxic relationships. I also am aware that what happened is completely my fault.

I understand why you mentioned why you were attracted to him, and how it was meant in context. As I stated earlier in my post to you. Its ok to reflect, just be careful. Its very easy to remember those things that drew you to him, and bury the pain. That's just one way how the cycle of abuse perpetuates itself.

No one deserves abuse. Just because you made a bad choice, doesn't mean you got what you deserved, it just means you got what you asked for. And I think that's what everyone was trying to say.

WinD

quote:

ORIGINAL: OnlineFunForYou

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

Actually, unless she heals herself and finds out what made her accept any less than what she deserves, she WILL repeat it.

You are fully right, Lady.

But that is something else then telling her that she will probably not succeed to heal herself. Do you agree?

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1
Domiguy's post was fucking right. Why? Because whatever happens to us, unless it is say, cancer, is our own fault.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ForeverOwned

What? No jokes? Is this your first real post?

i only first saw this thread yesterday. i cannot be on as much as you are. i do have other things to do.

quote:

For instance, Master's stepdaughter worked an after-school job as a high school student. She was working the late shift in Wendy's one night when a gang shooting happened in the street. A bullet came through the restaurant window and hit her. That was her own fault? Yeah, I guess it was because (1) she chose to work, (2) she had the bad luck to be born in a town that had gangs and a myriad of other stupid "reasons" she was to blame for her own shooting.

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1
Domiguy's post was fucking right. Why? Because whatever happens to us, unless it is say, cancer, is our own fault.

Well, that's certainly one opinion. Not mine, however. I know it's sacrilege to question the great one(s) around here, but I beg to differ with you both. "Whatever" happens to us - except cancer - is our own fault, eh? Wow, that's certainly an erroneous declaration from on high. I can think of several things that aren't someone's own fault that doesn't involve cancer. For instance, Master's stepdaughter worked an after-school job as a high school student. She was working the late shift in Wendy's one night when a gang shooting happened in the street. A bullet came through the restaurant window and hit her. That was her own fault? Yeah, I guess it was because (1) she chose to work, (2) she had the bad luck to be born in a town that had gangs and a myriad of other stupid "reasons" she was to blame for her own shooting. I'll have to let her know how much to blame she is for that. Things happen to people all over the world everyday that, once again, is not cancer, and it's through no fault of their own. To think otherwise is pure stupidity and tunnel vision.

I guess the point you were trying to make is that she really does need to take responsibility for her choices. That's true. I just wouldn't take my advice to the extreme that anything but cancer is her own fault............luci

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ORIGINAL: domiguy

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1
Domiguy's post was fucking right. Why? Because whatever happens to us, unless it is say, cancer, is our own fault.

Well, that's certainly one opinion. Not mine, however. I know it's sacrilege to question the great one(s) around here, but I beg to differ with you both. "Whatever" happens to us - except cancer - is our own fault, eh? Wow, that's certainly an erroneous declaration from on high. I can think of several things that aren't someone's own fault that doesn't involve cancer. For instance, Master's stepdaughter worked an after-school job as a high school student. She was working the late shift in Wendy's one night when a gang shooting happened in the street. A bullet came through the restaurant window and hit her. That was her own fault? Yeah, I guess it was because (1) she chose to work, (2) she had the bad luck to be born in a town that had gangs and a myriad of other stupid "reasons" she was to blame for her own shooting. I'll have to let her know how much to blame she is for that. Things happen to people all over the world everyday that, once again, is not cancer, and it's through no fault of their own. To think otherwise is pure stupidity and tunnel vision.

I guess the point you were trying to make is that she really does need to take responsibility for her choices. That's true. I just wouldn't take my advice to the extreme that anything but cancer is her own fault............luci

Always use the obscure to validate your point...What are the odds of getting hit by a stray bullet or lightening?...What about  the poor people of Haiti?  But lets take your analogy at face value.  For a moment let's even pretend that it is true.  So what?

We can't live in a bubble.  You go to work on 9-11 and the next thing you know a jet is crashing through your building.  Totally an unforseeable event for you.  More importantly, it is an event when compared to the population that is hardly worth the general population to even begin to take notice.

But you use this type of a tact to refute the obvious. 

You would like people to believe that we are nothing but dust in the wind...Just flotsam and jetsam moving about on a current of which we have no control over.

http://www.livescience.com/environment/050106_odds_of_dying.html
The more specific figures are based on 2001, the most recent year for which complete data are available. Other odds, indicated with an asterisk (*) are based on long-term data.
All figures below are for U.S. residents.




Cause of Death
Lifetime Odds


Heart Disease

1-in-5


Cancer

1-in-7


Stroke

1-in-23


Accidental Injury

1-in-36


Motor Vehicle Accident*

1-in-100


Intentional Self-harm (suicide)

1-in-121


Falling Down

1-in-246


Assault by Firearm

1-in-325


Fire or Smoke

1-in-1,116


Natural Forces (heat, cold, storms, quakes, etc.)

1-in-3,357


Electrocution*

1-in-5,000


Drowning

1-in-8,942


Air Travel Accident*

1-in-20,000


Flood* (included also in Natural Forces above)

1-in-30,000


Legal Execution

1-in-58,618


Tornado* (included also in Natural Forces above)

1-in-60,000


Lightning Strike (included also in Natural Forces above)

1-in-83,930


Snake, Bee or other Venomous Bite or Sting*

1-in-100,000


Earthquake (included also in Natural Forces above)

1-in-131,890


Dog Attack

1-in-147,717


Asteroid Impact*

1-in-200,000**

Tsunami*
1-in-500,000


Fireworks Discharge

1-in-615,488
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Many people will have horrific things happen to them.  The majority of us choose not to live in a bubble. Most people should focus on the things that they can control, unfortunately many choose another path. Apparently you choose to obsess over the things that are quite beyond your scope of influence. 

The odds say that you are not being genuine with your post about the random shooting. Not to doubt you, but can I google the shooting?

It sucks having to be accountable for your actions.  Some people won't dive into water before knowing it's depth other just jump right in and hope for the best.

I would probably take the dive...When I'm eating the rest of my meals through a straw who should I blame?

When you see the above figures it does not account for the activities or the events that lead up to the event.  Everyone is going to die of something.  Some of the figures are just placing a name to someone at an advanced age and are merely listing the final event or illness that took someone's life. 

How many obese die from heart disease or stroke?  What about smoking or living a sedentary and totally unnactive lifestyle?  How many people die in car "accidents" where they were 100% at fault or played a substantial role in not paying attention to their surroundings?

For the majority of people, the things that come down the pike were things that they played a direct role in allowing to occur.

You obviously disagree.  Good for you.

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

Luci,
You are going a bit overboard here. Red's comment was that there are some things that we can't control - cancer was just an example. The situation you describe would be another example. However, the OP is not one of those people. She made a series of bad decisions based on conjecture and wishful thinking. She is responsible for a big chunck of her predicament.

Maybe because this is a touchy subject for you, I will tell you know... What you posted is NOT what Red was saying.

Two different things. And for what it's worth, I'm sorry that this has come into your life / her life. Blessings to you and the young lady you have such deep care for.

sunshine

quote:

For instance, Master's stepdaughter worked an after-school job as a high school student. She was working the late shift in Wendy's one night when a gang shooting happened in the street. A bullet came through the restaurant window and hit her. That was her own fault? Yeah, I guess it was because (1) she chose to work, (2) she had the bad luck to be born in a town that had gangs and a myriad of other stupid "reasons" she was to blame for her own shooting.