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ORIGINAL: slaveluci

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ORIGINAL: sexyred1
Domiguy's post was fucking right. Why? Because whatever happens to us, unless it is say, cancer, is our own fault.

Well, that's certainly one opinion. Not mine, however. I know it's sacrilege to question the great one(s) around here, but I beg to differ with you both. "Whatever" happens to us - except cancer - is our own fault, eh? Wow, that's certainly an erroneous declaration from on high. I can think of several things that aren't someone's own fault that doesn't involve cancer. For instance, Master's stepdaughter worked an after-school job as a high school student. She was working the late shift in Wendy's one night when a gang shooting happened in the street. A bullet came through the restaurant window and hit her. That was her own fault? Yeah, I guess it was because (1) she chose to work, (2) she had the bad luck to be born in a town that had gangs and a myriad of other stupid "reasons" she was to blame for her own shooting. I'll have to let her know how much to blame she is for that. Things happen to people all over the world everyday that, once again, is not cancer, and it's through no fault of their own. To think otherwise is pure stupidity and tunnel vision.

I guess the point you were trying to make is that she really does need to take responsibility for her choices. That's true. I just wouldn't take my advice to the extreme that anything but cancer is her own fault............luci

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci

Wow, wordy. First of all, I'm not using anything "obscure" to "validate" anything. I am very clearly making the point, based on something that happened in my own loved one's life, that many things happen to people that are totally out of their own control. I have no desire to attempt to make people "believe that we are nothing but dust in the wind...Just flotsam and jetsam moving about on a current of which we have no control over." I don't believe that and I never insinuated that I did. Totally fiction.

You said, "The odds say that you are not being genuine with your post about the random shooting. Not to doubt you, but can I google the shooting?" Ya know, Domiguy, I know you pride yourself on being a total prick, but that just about clinches it. Fuck you, man. I don't lie and I have certainly never come into these forums and lied, esp. about something this important and tragic in my own family's life. I made a very true and very valid point and your response is to insinuate it's a lie. It's easy to hide behind a keyboard and Tupac's picture and spout such bullshit. What a coward, dude. Sad indeed.

I stand by my post and by my sentiments. People ARE responsible for most of their choices but random shitty things happen to folks all the time and it is none of their own fault. If you can't grasp that, you've living a very sheltered life................luci

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ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

Actually, I think the cancer is our own fault too, but that doesn't mean I can't empathize with people who get it.....

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ORIGINAL: sexyred1

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ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

Actually, I think the cancer is our own fault too, but that doesn't mean I can't empathize with people who get it.....

I don't want to hijack, but I am truly interested in what you said above. If you would care to elaborate either here or privately to me, I would appreciate it. Perhaps you never had incidents of cancer in your family or for yourself, so please indulge my curiousity.

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ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Look dude just wear the vest and everything will be fine.

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ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

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ORIGINAL: sexyred1

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ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

Actually, I think the cancer is our own fault too, but that doesn't mean I can't empathize with people who get it.....

I don't want to hijack, but I am truly interested in what you said above. If you would care to elaborate either here or privately to me, I would appreciate it. Perhaps you never had incidents of cancer in your family or for yourself, so please indulge my curiousity.

I will in private and perhaps I shouldn't have posted my beliefs on this thread..

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ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

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ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

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ORIGINAL: sexyred1

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

Actually, I think the cancer is our own fault too, but that doesn't mean I can't empathize with people who get it.....

I don't want to hijack, but I am truly interested in what you said above. If you would care to elaborate either here or privately to me, I would appreciate it. Perhaps you never had incidents of cancer in your family or for yourself, so please indulge my curiousity.

I will in private and perhaps I shouldn't have posted my beliefs on this thread..

I'm sure everyone who has ever had cancer strike them or their loved ones would love to hear how you think they deserve to be suffering from cancer and how they brought it on themselves.

Yes, julia, there are times when it is best to keep one's beliefs to themselves lest they look like an unsympathetic fool

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Actually, I think the cancer is our own fault too, but that doesn't mean I can't empathize with people who get it.....

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ORIGINAL: domiguy

Let's not get carried away.  We cannot control every single episode that transpires within our life.  I have been fortunate. 

But at the same time I had a mother that passed away very young from alzheimers...I just never viewed this as an event that was happening to "me."  It simply was.  We, as a family, dealt with it in the best fashion that we could and moved on. 

There was no responsibility or blame to give or to overly fret over the situation...It simply happened and we dealt with it.

In hindsight I might have been a little flippant in my original post.  I do apologize to luci for it.  I sincerely mean that.

But this is really outside of the scope of the conversation at hand.  I should have stated that the vast majority of what befalls us lies at are own feet.  Did my mother deserve to get alzheimers?  No fucking way. She was one of the most intelligent, upbeat and creative women that I have ever met in my entire life. 

Even when I think back on my mother's illness I think for the most part it was handed with a great deal of dignity and kindness.  I never heard my father once lament about the cards that were dealt to him...It would have been easy to feel bitter or to think that some how he had been cheated.  He cared for my mother and slowly watched her die.  An unbelievable man.

What is lacking so much out here is the recognition of what is actually occurring in the moment. 

It is as simple as the serenity prayer...

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
 
 
Far too many fail to recognize that they have so much power over the things that they simply choose to accept.  Then they wonder why things did not proceed to their liking.

Should have phrased it better the first time around. 

I do apologize to luci for a poor choice of words and questioning her integrity

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

Let's not get carried away.  We cannot control every single episode that transpires within our life.  I have been fortunate. 

But at the same time I had a mother that passed away very young from alzheimers...I just never viewed this as an event that was happening to "me."  It simply was.  We, as a family, dealt with it in the best fashion that we could and moved on. 

There was no responsibility or blame to give or to overly fret over the situation...It simply happened and we dealt with it.

In hindsight I might have been a little flippant in my original post.  I do apologize to luci for it.  I sincerely mean that.

But this is really outside of the scope of the conversation at hand.  I should have stated that the vast majority of what befalls us lies at are own feet.  Did my mother deserve to get alzheimers?  No fucking way. She was one of the most intelligent, upbeat and creative women that I have ever met in my entire life. 

Even when I think back on my mother's illness I think for the most part it was handed with a great deal of dignity and kindness.  I never heard my father once lament about the cards that were dealt to him...It would have been easy to feel bitter or to think that some how he had been cheated.  He cared for my mother and slowly watched her die.  An unbelievable man.

What is lacking so much out here is the recognition of what is actually occurring in the moment. 

It is as simple as the serenity prayer...

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
 
 
Far too many fail to recognize that they have so much power over the things that they simply choose to accept.  Then they wonder why things did not proceed to their liking.

Should have phrased it better the first time around. 

I do apologize to luci for a poor choice of words and questioning her integrity

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ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

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ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

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ORIGINAL: sexyred1

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ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

Actually, I think the cancer is our own fault too, but that doesn't mean I can't empathize with people who get it.....

I don't want to hijack, but I am truly interested in what you said above. If you would care to elaborate either here or privately to me, I would appreciate it. Perhaps you never had incidents of cancer in your family or for yourself, so please indulge my curiousity.

I will in private and perhaps I shouldn't have posted my beliefs on this thread..

I'm sure everyone who has ever had cancer strike them or their loved ones would love to hear how you think they deserve to be suffering from cancer and how they brought it on themselves.

Yes, julia, there are times when it is best to keep one's beliefs to themselves lest they look like an unsympathetic fool

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ORIGINAL: thishereboi

quote:

Actually, I think the cancer is our own fault too, but that doesn't mean I can't empathize with people who get it.....

Really, and just what did all those kids who died from luekemia last year do that made it their fault they got sick? What about all the men and women who get breast cancer, what exactly makes it their fault? How about all those who get lung cancer, but have never smoked or spent a lot of time around smokers?

I could go on, but I think I made my point.

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ORIGINAL: RCdc

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ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

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ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

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ORIGINAL: sexyred1

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

Actually, I think the cancer is our own fault too, but that doesn't mean I can't empathize with people who get it.....

I don't want to hijack, but I am truly interested in what you said above. If you would care to elaborate either here or privately to me, I would appreciate it. Perhaps you never had incidents of cancer in your family or for yourself, so please indulge my curiousity.

I will in private and perhaps I shouldn't have posted my beliefs on this thread..

I'm sure everyone who has ever had cancer strike them or their loved ones would love to hear how you think they deserve to be suffering from cancer and how they brought it on themselves.

Yes, julia, there are times when it is best to keep one's beliefs to themselves lest they look like an unsympathetic fool

Whilst I don't necessarily agree with julia, I don't equate her statement with being foolish.  My observation is that she is making an opinion based on a number of factors.  Diet, environment and lifestyle choices can play a part of any illness, as can genetics and my take on her statement is that she takes those into consideration.  I don't for a moment feel that she was being unsympathetic, but stating something that has been mulled around by certain medical and scientific communities for a long time.

the.dark.
(.econerd.)