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Why do we enjoy the pain - 2/8/2010 8:46:44 AM   
ernietbonz


Posts: 10
Joined: 6/13/2009
Status: offline 		I have been told by some here that I am a masochist, but I know people that enjoy pain more then I, so I tend to disagre.
Last night my Mistress asked me why I like the pain and wanted to be dominated and I couldn't give her an answer. Just wondering if any one had any thoughts on the subject.
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RE: Why do we enjoy the pain - 2/8/2010 2:12:36 PM   
littlesarbonn


Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline 		To be honest, I don't enjoy the pain at all. I'm not a masochist at all. What I do enjoy is the enjoyment the woman I'm with gets from inflicting pain when she does so. That thrill drives me to actually start to enjoy the pain, so that there are times I crave it just so that I can be with her at that moment. There are submissive things I do enjoy on a specific basis, but surprisingly, pain was never really one of them. A lot of other things are, however. Even the anticipation of pain. It's a strange world sometimes.

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(in reply to ernietbonz)
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RE: Why do we enjoy the pain - 2/8/2010 2:34:57 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		This would probably be a question best asked of other submissive/bottoms.  You may have more luck getting first hand answers on the submissive board.

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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

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RE: Why do we enjoy the pain - 2/8/2010 2:36:53 PM   
Kaiel


Posts: 748
Joined: 4/17/2007
Status: offline 		My boy often says he doesn't enjoy the physical pain, however he loves the pleasure it gives Me to inflict various types of pain on him. Often times, he becomes very excited during a disciplining session or flogging session, but it's not the physical pain that does it... it's the power exchange, the interaction between U/us. The fact that he feels safe, loved, owned... the pleasure comes from knowing he belongs to Me and I can do whatever I chose.

Hell, I don't know... I know we are all wired differently... LOL

Maybe you should post this under Ask a submissive? 

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RE: Why do we enjoy the pain - 2/8/2010 2:38:02 PM   
Kaiel


Posts: 748
Joined: 4/17/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

This would probably be a question best asked of other submissive/bottoms.  You may have more luck getting first hand answers on the submissive board.


Ha! We were posting at the same time.


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RE: Why do we enjoy the pain - 2/8/2010 2:38:52 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		In this case, great minds think alike.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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RE: Why do we enjoy the pain - 2/8/2010 2:58:04 PM   
littlesarbonn


Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

In this case, great minds think alike.


And strangely enough, both responses were to my post, advising the poster to seek out responses from other submissives, of which mine was one. Even my stuffed animals had to point that one out to me (indicating I'm not very smart, but we all knew that anyway).

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The Adventures of Stickman and the Unemployed Lego Spaceman

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RE: Why do we enjoy the pain - 2/8/2010 3:58:56 PM   
OnlineFunForYou


Posts: 11
Joined: 9/18/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ernietbonz

Last night my Mistress asked me why I like the pain and wanted to be dominated and I couldn't give her an answer. Just wondering if any one had any thoughts on the subject.


I don't care why I like to have to submit and to be tortured and degraded. Just like I don't care why I like some food and not some other food.

If you want to know what's in a cake, you have to send it to a lab. But then, you can no longer enjoy the cake.

Live is much too short to understand what's going on in every black box.

If I can setup and use my television set, it's OK to me. I don't care about how the electrons build up image and sound.

(in reply to ernietbonz)
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RE: Why do we enjoy the pain - 2/8/2010 4:01:55 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

In this case, great minds think alike.


And strangely enough, both responses were to my post, advising the poster to seek out responses from other submissives, of which mine was one. Even my stuffed animals had to point that one out to me (indicating I'm not very smart, but we all knew that anyway).

While you are submissive, dear, and we do have others that frequent this board, a much wider pool of answers might be available in the other section.  I was thinking there might be more answers forthcoming that way.  A greater source of information.



_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to littlesarbonn)
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RE: Why do we enjoy the pain - 2/8/2010 4:05:59 PM   
QueenRah


Posts: 380
Joined: 6/3/2005
Status: offline 		Showering attention, attention, attention on you. Okay? Feel better, ls?

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RE: Why do we enjoy the pain - 2/8/2010 4:44:37 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		There is a chemical reaction to pain that causes a euphoria. At the same time I feel closer and more intimate with the person inflicting the pain. I can't separate the erotic, the intimacy, and the chemical reaction. It is a delicious soup and that is what I get out of pain play

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(in reply to ernietbonz)
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RE: Why do we enjoy the pain - 2/8/2010 5:15:23 PM   
Politesub53


Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		The question I ask myself isnt why I like pain, since I have only messed about with nipple clamps and light spanking. Its why I want to test my limits. Maybe I want to reach subspace, or see how far I would allow myself to be in pain for "Her" pleasure. Either way I am curious.

If it was just pain per se I wanted to know about, I could just have another knee replacement.

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Why do we enjoy the pain - 2/8/2010 5:17:24 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I don't like more than light pain. But I do like to be dominated. I'd ask her why she thinks the two are synonymous.

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RE: Why do we enjoy the pain - 2/8/2010 5:26:02 PM   
Aynne88


Posts: 3873
Joined: 8/29/2008
Status: offline
When I was a little girl I love to have the daylights scared out of me, I mean really scared, and thankfully I had a bunch of sadisitic older cousins that would assist ;) Lock Annie in the closet til she screamed and sobbed was a favorite, they used to hold me by the arms and threaten to drop me of the 2nd floor balcony, I would always volunteer to see how long I could stay in the basement in the pitch dark, just wierd shit like that. It was just so thrilling. Well, as an adult I find I get the same thrill, that same adreneline rush and wierd scary/frightened little girl feeling when I am getting slapped, caned, whipped, dragged by the hair, whatever. It's the unexpected as well, we never ever "plan play" he is just a spontaneous sadist, so that totally adds to the fear element, I never know when he might feel like flogging the hell out of me or marking me with a cane just because.I also love taking it for him, and he loves to see me cry, especially when I don't make a sound. We all like it for different reasons but mind started as a kid with a thing for being terrified. No idea why. I still like creepy things..

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RE: Why do we enjoy the pain - 2/8/2010 5:33:44 PM   
Phoenixpower


Posts: 8098
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ernietbonz

I have been told by some here that I am a masochist, but I know people that enjoy pain more then I, so I tend to disagre.
Last night my Mistress asked me why I like the pain and wanted to be dominated and I couldn't give her an answer. Just wondering if any one had any thoughts on the subject.


I felt like you so far, however since I experienced subspace last December I felt more like being potentially a "Masochist in the making" as that experience was just awesome big time...

however, as my C-Dom currently disappeared again (I think he was a bit pissed off when he realised I am going to meet someone abroad again as I had the impression that he might want more now, that he is single again) it looks like that this was potentially just a one off experience for me to get there...and with my current date I doubt to develop further into this direction as he is not much into giving pain (he does....but he also has many other ways to ensure to keep his slave in line, ways I actually dislike even more than pain )

However, during the days after I got there I felt (for me) a different understanding why some people might enjoy to take the pain as some confirmed me that to get to that stage can become addictive...

And so whilst in my view I am not a pain slut...I felt different after that experience....maybe weird, but true...

On top of that to enjoy to take pain or not depends to me a lot on the partner...with m C-Dom I always had a hell of a lot of sparkles, that was on a level I had never experienced like that...and there I enjoyed it to be there for whatever he decided to do to me.

If I don't have a certain form of connection than pain does not feel good to me.

E.g. one date I had I was not attracted to him as simply in person he looked very different then on the picture (his picture was him, but still, he did not catch me when personally looking at him as much as online) and whilst spending time with him and imagening to be potentially disciplined by him if we would decide to move on I felt for me that it is likely to end up more feeling being abused then disciplined, simply as I am not attracted to him...somehow I had a huge inhibition when imagening to be punished by him due to the lack of connection I felt to have with him...

so for me I do enjoy it when I feel that his natural dominance comes accross to me, so kind of when just looking at him makes me knees weak already....and that, so far, no guy achieved as much as C-Dom and probably is not easy ever to find again on such an intense level (so I don't expect it like that from a potential Ltr).

Therefore I do enjoy it when I feel naturally attracted to him as being a dominant and then to be proven that he is worth my trust and does not abuse the situation. And that again, felt awesome after subspace, that I knew (IMO) I had no risk at all during that stage whilst being looked after from him...(though some people - inclusive my current date - felt different when they had sean my backside, but IMO I simply bruise very easily and for me it was worth every moment...and miss him )



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(in reply to ernietbonz)
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RE: Why do we enjoy the pain - 2/8/2010 5:36:07 PM   
Phoenixpower


Posts: 8098
Status: offline 		Another aspect IMO is for me to know that if I get disciplined from a person, I do enjoy the power exchange itself and to know that nevertheless the person loves me (on whatever level, either in RL or casual as it was with C-Dom) ... therefore whilst the punishment does take place he does not disregard me as a person but instead addresses unwanted behaviour (which I am aware about if I dare to push it )...which is a very different situation to how it used to be in my upbringing.


< Message edited by Phoenixpower -- 2/8/2010 6:17:21 PM >

_____________________________

RIP 08-09-07

The PAST is history, the FUTURE a mystery, NOW is a gift - that's why it's called the PRESENT

www.butyoudontlooksick.com/navigation/BYDLS-TheSpoonTheory.pdf

(in reply to Phoenixpower)
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RE: Why do we enjoy the pain - 2/8/2010 5:52:12 PM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline 		When I was slave, I didn't enjoy the pain itself, but rather the feeling of being controlled and used in such a way. I was a huge "pain slut", for this reason. Not craving the pain itself, at all- but instead the feeling of being whipped, and of being completely under his control and at his mercy. That was exquisitely beautiful and delicious. The pain itself was- well, painful! Pain was merely a vehicle, used to highlight my submission and bring it into sharp focus. That's what I enjoyed about it. Not the actual sensations of pain themselves. My enjoyment centered on the feelings of being controlled, objectified and humiliated.

YUMMMM.... 

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(in reply to ernietbonz)
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RE: Why do we enjoy the pain - 2/9/2010 5:46:11 AM   
ibelongtoKaiel


Posts: 7
Joined: 4/5/2009
Status: offline 		Well, as usual, my Ma'am understands me and Her posting could have just as easily come from me....In the hundreds of seconds i have spent self-analyzing about this, i have come to the conclusion that i really do not enjoy the pain itself, but tend to enjoy every sensation and emotion that surrounds the pain to the extent that bearing the pain Mistress Kaiel chooses to administer is welcome....I tend to put it into different categories too - first is the admnistering of pain because She can do it and enjoys doing it - erotic play for lack of a better term....the second is administering pain as a form of discipline and/or punishment...to me, these are differently erotic and probably equivalently stimulating....

i can remember the very first time Mistress Kaiel raked Her nails hard down my back and how initially, i was shocked by how quickly it happened and the initial sensation of pain and heat and then it gradually subsided and i was left wondering just how marked i was...when i was able to glance at it in a mirror, i was again shocked - the marks were very prominent - then I became very proud....it was a badge of honor and a symbol of my submission to Her....every shower for a day or so was a reminder and i found myself enjoying those reminders...ever since, when She grabs my cock and balls in a way that lets me know they belong to Her...slaps my balls....scratches and/or bites me, i reach my most intense state of arousal - not always the most physically intense state (as Her cock sometimes has a mind of its own that i certainly don't always understand :-)), but certainly the most emotionally intense state.....in these moments, i revel in Her power and confidence and in the trust and intimacy between U/us that is exemplified by the willing and open exchange of power....i trust Her in everything and to do anything to me and it is intoxicating to reach that level of trust and intimacy and love....

On the second front, i crave discipline from Her and punishment that accompanies it when needed....i hate to disappoint my Ma'am and try very hard not to do so (even though She sometimes thinks i do just so She will punish me..)  when i do disappoint Her or fail to live up to expectations in some way, i know that i deserve to be punished and at some level, crave the punishment - typically in the form of a paddling of some sort - in these cases, the feeling is very different - i typically find myself aroused with anticipation of the punishment and enjoy complying with Her wishes for exposure and position and preparation - in these cases, i always know that i deserve whatever will be administered - i also know that doesn't really matter because She can always do as She pleases...i know this and She knows this and there is great satisfaction on both of O/our parts knowing this...that said, punishment is very emotional and invariably leaves me pretty spent and very appreciative that She took the time to discipline me and correct a behavoir that displeased or disappointed Her...while it is happening, i cannot say i enjoy the pain or the strike of the paddle...in fact, i think i can safely say that I don't really like that part at all...when done and the sharpest pain subsides and She places the paddle/instrument down, i feel so, so close to Her it is amazing....as the pain leaves, my skin warms at the points of impact, it feels very satisfying...when i feel the aftermath sitting later on, the reminder also feels satisfying..

Hell, I have no idea why i enjoy the pain either...I guess W/we are all wired differently!










(in reply to Kaiel)
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RE: Why do we enjoy the pain - 2/9/2010 5:59:32 AM   
LillyoftheVally


Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ernietbonz

I have been told by some here that I am a masochist, but I know people that enjoy pain more then I, so I tend to disagre.
Last night my Mistress asked me why I like the pain and wanted to be dominated and I couldn't give her an answer. Just wondering if any one had any thoughts on the subject.


Being a masochist doesn't really denote a specific amount of pain, there are people who can take far more pain than me but then I consider myself to be masochistic.

Like Julia said, there is a chemical reaction that much is true, but then it is a little more complex than that for most. Such as I enjoy heavier play in a club environment because there is a mixture of things that I get from it, the way that the sound of a smack resonates around a large room, the desire to push yourself more to feel the pride aspect, the warm feeling afterwards and the way you can dissect it thats just me. The point is that there can be a million motivations.

I also agree with the idea of feeling closer to someone who is good at pain play, I get a pretty intense connection lasting at least a few days afterwards.

So yeah lots of reasons.

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RE: Why do we enjoy the pain - 2/10/2010 1:03:24 AM   
Freakgirl4


Posts: 98
Joined: 6/27/2008
Status: offline 		I could list my *reasons* for being a masochist and submissive,but that won't help you.Think about all the reasons listed here--and I am sure in other places,and think about your life and your past.I'm sure given enough reflection,you will figure it out.

(in reply to LillyoftheVally)
Profile   Post #: 20
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