When your vanilla friends turn to you...

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

When your vanilla friends turn to you...

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> When your vanilla friends turn to you...

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

When your vanilla friends turn to you... - 2/9/2010 3:49:47 AM

Whiplashsmile4

Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline

Back a few years ago, an old friend I've known since high school gave me a call out of the blue. It had been awhile since we talked. Anyways, he just got divorced (self admitted it was because he's a workaholic 60-80 hour weeks). I was rather elated that an old friend of mine was taking the time to look me up. Anyways, I gave him directions to where I was living and within an hour he showed up for a visit. At first everythng was awesome, did some catching up on life events and such. Then... he paused for a moment, and was going on about how he wanted to get hooked up with a slave girl for (insert a list of kinky activities). I was sort of stunned at first.

This was my extremely conversative friend, he was sort of the "family ties" Alex Keaton type of guy in high school. A little uptight, conservative and well a little socially awkward at times, with his main focus on his education.

Now there he was in front of me in person, asking if I could hook him up with a Slave Girl. WTF? I paused for a moment, and told him sorry, I did'nt know of anybody to hook him up with to fillfull his list, and that.. well things don't exactly work the way he was imagining.

He hung out and tagged along with me a few times, so I could exposed him to other social circles that I was traveling in. Anyways, none the less. Here it was years later...

At first he did not believe I could not hook him up. He even said that he's pay money for it. This experience was turning as awkard as somebody desparte to get hooked with a drug deal... (lol).... I even got the "Ohh come on man, you've got to know somebody, I know you know somebody, I know you and the kind of girls you know and people you hang out with" routine.

I was faced with the reality of shit happening when worlds collide. I had to sit him down and dis-spell misconceptions and literally give him a dose of reality. Needless to say... when he figured out that I was as about as useful as a Whoreless Pimp to him. He ended up apologizing and bolting (have not seen nor heard from him since).

I'm pretty certain I ain't the only one that's had a vanilla friend turning to them for this.

< Message edited by Whiplashsmile4 -- 2/9/2010 4:11:24 AM >

Post #: 1

RE: When your vanilla friends turn to you... - 2/9/2010 3:57:31 AM

onlyfreelycaged

Posts: 254
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline

I hate when people do that..

(in reply to Whiplashsmile4)

Post #: 2

RE: When your vanilla friends turn to you... - 2/9/2010 4:06:28 AM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline

The closest I ever got was when we were sitting at a bar in Philly and a gay guy asked me if my man would beat him.
That was a fun night.

_____________________________

(in reply to Whiplashsmile4)

Post #: 3

RE: When your vanilla friends turn to you... - 2/9/2010 4:08:59 AM

pompeii

Posts: 934
Joined: 1/4/2007
From: Silicon Valley, San Jose, California
Status: offline

My vanilla friends don't know ...

(in reply to Aileen1968)

Post #: 4

RE: When your vanilla friends turn to you... - 2/9/2010 4:09:36 AM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: pompeii

My vanilla friends don't know ...

Perhaps if you had a capital P....

_____________________________

(in reply to pompeii)

Post #: 5

RE: When your vanilla friends turn to you... - 2/9/2010 4:11:08 AM

allthatjaz

Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline

Did you tell him what you were into first?
Why turn to you of all people?

Steve told a good vanilla friend what he was into and he got almost the same reaction.
We also saw a similar response from some vanilla guys that had managed to slip through the back door of a fet club. Their reaction was pervy. Sort of 'CORRRR YEAH we want some of that'

From what your saying, your friend doesn't sound like he has a life ambition to be a Master but fancies a bit of kink.

_____________________________

S&M (Steve and Maria) persona libre de convencionalismos

Fan of edgeplay.co.uk

(in reply to onlyfreelycaged)

Post #: 6

RE: When your vanilla friends turn to you... - 2/9/2010 4:11:46 AM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

I haven't had this happen to me in kink, because I'm not really out to a whole lot of people, but I've had people do this to me when searching for jobs. They come to me because they know I'm have an extremely rich and well developed professional network. Sometimes I give them leads and then I don't even hear a thank you back from them.

In all the years that I helped match make employers and employees, I had one person acknowledge me to a group of friends and one person take me out for drinks to thank me. I guess you can see that I don't do it for the rewards! ;-)

But in the end, I have learned to be weary of the person who comes back from out of the blue looking for favours. There is a word for people like that. Leeches. In fact, there are probably more than one word.

Anyhow, sorry this happened to you. I doesn't sound like a pleasant experience at all.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to onlyfreelycaged)

Post #: 7

RE: When your vanilla friends turn to you... - 2/9/2010 4:14:30 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

There isn't a public dungeon near you that you could have sent him to? Or give him a couple of websites where kinky people congregate?

I'm curious as to how someone you haven't seen in so many years knew so much about your sex life to ask you, or is that part of what you talk about at high school reunions? Because my relationship is sacrosanct and I don't spread salacious details about to titillate others.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to allthatjaz)

Post #: 8

RE: When your vanilla friends turn to you... - 2/9/2010 4:19:55 AM

Whiplashsmile4

Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz

Did you tell him what you were into first?
Why turn to you of all people?

Steve told a good vanilla friend what he was into and he got almost the same reaction.
We also saw a similar response from some vanilla guys that had managed to slip through the back door of a fet club. Their reaction was pervy. Sort of 'CORRRR YEAH we want some of that'

From what your saying, your friend doesn't sound like he has a life ambition to be a Master but fancies a bit of kink.

He's known for years, that I'm into BDSM and that I'm a kink feak. He turned to me because he just got went through a divorce, was on vacation visiting the old home stomping grounds. Was wanting to experience some of his fantasies (since the wife was no longer in the picture).

Needless to say, he turned to me because I was the ONE person he could think to turn to. lol..

You're right he had zero ambition for "the lifestyle" itself (I rephrased your use of the word Master)... Mind you, at times I have Zero Ambition/Interest in becomings somebody's Master. lol.. however the Kink is always there. Being somebody's Master involves a relationship commitment to which one should be selective about anyways.

< Message edited by Whiplashsmile4 -- 2/9/2010 5:04:05 AM >

(in reply to allthatjaz)

Post #: 9

RE: When your vanilla friends turn to you... - 2/9/2010 4:20:16 AM

ranja

Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline

Some people are so sexually ignorant it is very embarrassing in a totally uncool way.... and the losers don't even seem to be aware of it...

you said he thought he was divorced because he was a workaholic???

i suggest sending him an email (if you can be bothered at all) advising him to read the joy of sex by Alex Comfort... it might give him a push towards improving himself.

(in reply to Whiplashsmile4)

Post #: 10

RE: When your vanilla friends turn to you... - 2/9/2010 4:24:58 AM

Whiplashsmile4

Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

There isn't a public dungeon near you that you could have sent him to? Or give him a couple of websites where kinky people congregate?

I'm curious as to how someone you haven't seen in so many years knew so much about your sex life to ask you, or is that part of what you talk about at high school reunions? Because my relationship is sacrosanct and I don't spread salacious details about to titillate others.

He's know since our Senior year of high school and we still socialized for a few years afterwards, while he was still going to college. After that, it was the occasional visit when he was in town or the look up. Acually, he was part of the AD&D gaming group of friends I was part of.. so we all would get together from time to time. Everybody go out for drinks and shoot the shit. So yeah...

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 11

RE: When your vanilla friends turn to you... - 2/9/2010 4:32:17 AM

Whiplashsmile4

Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

There isn't a public dungeon near you that you could have sent him to? Or give him a couple of websites where kinky people congregate?

I'm curious as to how someone you haven't seen in so many years knew so much about your sex life to ask you, or is that part of what you talk about at high school reunions? Because my relationship is sacrosanct and I don't spread salacious details about to titillate others.

The Closest Dungeon would have been about 3 hours away, In terms of Local Dungeons LOL.. yeah right... and to be honest with you, He wanted to engage in SEX along with Kinky play. One of the things on His List was ANAL Sex... come on here (going to a dungeon would not be the solution). He was extremely interested in Getting Laid, wanted to tie somebody up and other things. He was on vacation and was looking for a quick kinky hook me up.

< Message edited by Whiplashsmile4 -- 2/9/2010 4:49:51 AM >

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 12

RE: When your vanilla friends turn to you... - 2/9/2010 5:22:30 AM

allthatjaz

Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4

He's known for years, that I'm into BDSM and that I'm a kink feak. He turned to me because he just got went through a divorce, was on vacation visiting the old home stomping grounds. Was wanting to experience some of his fantasies (since the wife was no longer in the picture).

Needless to say, he turned to me because I was the ONE person he could think to turn to. lol..

You're right he had zero ambition for "the lifestyle" itself (I rephrased your use of the word Master)... Mind you, at times I have Zero Ambition/Interest in becomings somebody's Master. lol.. however the Kink is always there. Being somebody's Master involves a relationship commitment to which one should be selective about anyways.

Just another open minded perve then!!
I know a few nilla guys that would love to do a bit of groveling at a dominants ladies feet. So long as its just for an evening and they get to have some great bondage sex after. These guys have no idea how difficult that would be to find but theres no harm in dreaming!

_____________________________

S&M (Steve and Maria) persona libre de convencionalismos

Fan of edgeplay.co.uk

(in reply to Whiplashsmile4)

Post #: 13

RE: When your vanilla friends turn to you... - 2/9/2010 5:55:06 AM

GraciousLady

Posts: 529
Joined: 7/7/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4

I was faced with the reality of shit happening when worlds collide. I had to sit him down and dis-spell misconceptions and literally give him a dose of reality. Needless to say... when he figured out that I was as about as useful as a Whoreless Pimp to him. He ended up apologizing and bolting (have not seen nor heard from him since).

So sorry this happened to you. Stuff like that can maybe make you feel used and that hurts. But, you were honest with him and that's to your credit. He likely watched all that internet porn and thought that was how it really was. Almost all the subs that contact me think the internet porn they look at is real.

(in reply to Whiplashsmile4)

Post #: 14

RE: When your vanilla friends turn to you... - 2/9/2010 8:29:14 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

The closest thing that I've had to the experience is similar, but not quite the same angle. A female friend of Mine went through a break up and the sting was still pretty fresh. It hadn't ended badly, but she was still in the phase of, 'if he just would have done what I wanted', it would have worked out. Of course, there were really more problems than that, and she saw that later, but.......

Anyway, during that period, she asked Me a lot of questions about dynamics, obedience, and so on. It wasn't really a good fit for her, personality wise, but I tend to think that it helped her work through it in a way. Even though it was just discussion, it allowed her to process things a bit.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to GraciousLady)

Post #: 15

RE: When your vanilla friends turn to you... - 2/9/2010 8:34:22 AM

Whiplashsmile4

Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
... or is that part of what you talk about at high school reunions? Because my relationship is sacrosanct and I don't spread salacious details about to titillate others.

Well given in the context, that I was kinky back then. Trust me girls like to locker room talk just as bad guys do. It's was established that I am/was kinky to a given degree, to a certain range of people. Mind you, not everybody's business back then and most certainly now.

Most people I encouter from High School we engage in conversation about other things.

Now, within the scope of any given friendships. The people closer or closest to you tend to know a little more compared the rest of the heard.

You don't see me making any posts about the last time I was laid on here do you? You don't see me going into any details about the Last time I played either? I might talk about or share experiences that happen in the past.

How to express this, Once you know that a guy is Gay. You simply know or can guess at what he and his life partner do together, without elaborate need for details at a later point in time, say 10, 15 or 20 years later.

< Message edited by Whiplashsmile4 -- 2/9/2010 8:35:45 AM >

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 16

RE: When your vanilla friends turn to you... - 2/9/2010 8:35:42 AM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

quote:

ORIGINAL: pompeii

My vanilla friends don't know ...

Perhaps if you had a capital P....

I luv you Aileen1968...(which is harder than saying I luv you Aileen...)

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to Aileen1968)

Post #: 17

RE: When your vanilla friends turn to you... - 2/9/2010 8:46:45 AM

Fitznicely

Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline

Again, with the close, but not the same: The boyfriend of a friend of ours has a good line in manipulative mindfuck, not to mention emotional blackmail.

She was having a heart to heart with my girl about how controlling he was (we're 'out' to them both) and wondered aloud if she too should 'just' take on the submissive role to shut him up. My girl gave her a good talking to and putting straight about the difference in my kind of control, his kind and the many reasons why she shouldn't just give in to him (It's not a happy relationship, and should end soon).

I'm actually surprised, as we're 'out' to most all of our vanilla friends, that it doesn't happen more often. I guess we're lucky that none of 'em are the type to bat an eye at strange shenanegans like wot we do :)

_____________________________

I tell you this: No eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn
Proud Owner of Darkmoonkat. Such a good girl!

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 18

RE: When your vanilla friends turn to you... - 2/9/2010 11:31:49 AM

hardbodysub

Posts: 1654
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

quote:

ORIGINAL: pompeii

My vanilla friends don't know ...

Perhaps if you had a capital P....

I've found that having a big P always makes it easier to get the girl.

(in reply to Aileen1968)

Post #: 19

RE: When your vanilla friends turn to you... - 2/9/2010 12:00:24 PM

pyroaquatic

Posts: 1535
Joined: 12/4/2006
From: Pyroaquatica
Status: offline

I am not sure if I have friends or not. The internet is the closest thing I have to friends.

I do not see it in terms of vanilla or kinky.... or BDSM. The rules are the same; the nomenclature is not.

:3

_____________________________

You are what your deep, driving desire is.
As your desire is, so is your will.
As your will is, so is your deed.
As your deed is, so is your destiny.
-Brihadaranyaka Upanishad IV.4.5

(in reply to Whiplashsmile4)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> When your vanilla friends turn to you...

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.094