RE: ideas for punishment of an online submissive

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spadsangelslave -> RE: ideas for punishment of an online submissive (3/27/2006 3:17:00 PM)
online punishment? lmao! How about type really hard while "cyber spanking" her. Oh, Oh! Maybe have her spank her mouse! Perhaps order her to some task which she will say she completed but never actually did and you will never know because you are 1,000 miles away... Just Recently i took a punishment from my Master and he Is like a million miles it seems,... looking forward to the day when He and i do get together. last good punishment was the wooden spoon while on cam. no orgasms. I havent Been banned from chats or silenced from here yet and thats good so far. [:D] When Master asks me to do a task it gets done. [:)] i want Master to be proud of me.

ScooterTrash -> RE: ideas for punishment of an online submissive (3/27/2006 5:18:12 PM)
I'm personally not into on-line D/s, but situations alter cases and if that's how you have to start, more power to you. My co-Dominant (wife) had a very long distance D/s relationship with a sub in England however and although I know it doesn't sound like ignoring them and cutting off contact is a good idea, it was in that case very effective and something you can control (hard to cheat on that one). Also, if they frequent chat rooms, cutting that off is effective as well and is easily policed, all you have to do is let them "think" you might be in there. Lastly, and I did see this suggested already, is the essays. You can utilize this punishment as a training tool actually, have them do the essay on something you really want them to learn anyway. These are all items you do have a way of enforcing, and even if the ignore option is used, it doesn't need to be for a long period of time to be effective..it's the idea of telling them they can't that get's the point across. If you feel uncomfortable with totally ignoring them, just set specific time that they can communicate and limit it to a set period of time...10 minutes can seem pretty short when it is something they really want.

cajingrl -> RE: ideas for punishment of an online submissive (3/27/2006 5:34:25 PM)
greetings to E/everyone.....please forgive the intrusion...but i have a suggestion for the punishment part....it was something that was done to me at one on cam...or at least i had to do it to myself while He watched.....He made me put a piece of ginger root in my behind for a specified period of time....that immediately corrected the behavior, because it burns like hell..... *anyway, just my once cent worth.....E/everyone have a great day or evening whatever the case may be...* *cajin*

ownedgirlie -> RE: ideas for punishment of an online submissive (3/27/2006 5:45:27 PM)
Along those same lines....i have been known to have to fill both cavities as full as possible with ice cubes...every 2-4 hours (depending on what he decided) and keep them there until they melted out, while reflecting how cold my center becomes without him there to warm me. And by disobeying, i am pushing myself away from him. It took me days to stop feeling chilled.

Alumbrado -> RE: ideas for punishment of an online submissive (3/27/2006 6:18:15 PM)
I will second (or third) the essay suggestion. Not just a mea culpa or an 'I will not forget...' 100 times exercise, but an honest communication, specifically detailing what the sub has done wrong, why it happened, how she has let me down, how knowing that makes her feel, what she could have done to avoid the error, and what she will do differently in the future. In person, this process is usually conducted verbally, and after the physical application of punishment, so the connotations should carry over to a long distance situatiuon.

ownedgirlie -> RE: ideas for punishment of an online submissive (3/27/2006 6:25:46 PM)
Great post, Alumbrado. Any time i have had a hiccup, i know this will be on my to-do list. The "i will not forget..." reminded me of a slave friend of mine who couldn't resist the temptation of poking her Master in the belly button, and even after being told not to, she forgot one day and poked it. She had to hand write, "i will not poke my Master's belly button" 100 times. Neither of them could get through it without laughing. [:D]

CanadianGuy -> RE: ideas for punishment of an online submissive (3/28/2006 2:22:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NotN2U online punishment? lmao! How about type really hard while "cyber spanking" her. I think there's enough intolerance for people in our lifestyle without tearing each other down. I was looking for ideas, not ridicule. I'm not able to be with my submissive at this time, and she's not able to be with me. I won't give out any details about why. We've been together, and plan to be together again, and perhaps permanently down the road, when that becomes possible. Considering we're both online a lot for other reasons, interacting via the internet is the best we can do. It's not for everybody. In fact, it comes with unique challenges. Some are definitely not up for the task, and to cover up for that, they lash out at those who are. Control is an amazing thing, in that it doesn't only occur when you grab someone by the hair and physically force them under you. If the mind is open, and the connection is there, power exchange can be powerfully accomplished in many ways. Do I want to be with her in real life? Absolutely. Do I feel limited by the phone/internet? Sometimes. Am I going to release her and head for a local fetish bar or munch? Not on your f*king life. :) She is MINE in every way that your submissive is yours. And perhaps more. quote:* ORIGINAL: LoupdeMontagne The reason I asked is that "punishment" by and of itself is a synonym for retribution and has no lesson component. It's like revenge, it doesn't really teach anything. What you are asking about are corrective measures, lessons designed to teach your sub that specific behaviors are not to be tolerated and are to be changed. Don't mind me, I like to be precise in language to avoid any misunderstandings. I appreciate you clarifying your question, then. For me, punishment has a behavioural psychology spin (I studied it for a few years), and means reducing a behavior by introducing a "bad" stimulus or removing a "good" stimulus. Making someone rake the yard is a punishment, and so is not letting them rent the movie they were looking forward to seeing. But I also understand that your definition is "retaliation". I suppose by your definitions, then, I'm asking for ideas for "corrective measures". So... have you got any? :) quote: ORIGINAL: proudsub When i had an online dom for 2 yrs, some of the things he did for punishment were: -no orgasms for a given length of time -making me take myself to the edge several times but not allowed to orgasm--sometimes this would be on cam -wear my butt plug daily for a given time period and given number of days (i liked this one but didn't tell him that) -with my cam left on--stand or kneel in the corner, nose to the wall -wear my vib while shopping (i also liked this one) Mmmmmm, the orgasm denial idea is excellent. I haven't got her any toys, although I think she'd probably just enjoy that. :p Kneeling against the wall is very good, and yes, she has a cam... I will consider that one. Also, thanks for the link to the old thread. I skimmed through it and got a couple other ideas. quote: ORIGINAL: spadsangelslave Just Recently i took a punishment from my Master and he Is like a million miles it seems,... looking forward to the day when He and i do get together. I wish you well. We found the experience amazingly rewarding! It wasn't without its issues, like when we parted she felt the sudden loss of physical control overwhelming, but the time together was truly magical. I only hope your experience with your master is as fulfilling. quote: ORIGINAL: spadsangelslave last good punishment was the wooden spoon while on cam. no orgasms. I havent Been banned from chats or silenced from here yet and thats good so far. [:D] When Master asks me to do a task it gets done. [:)] i want Master to be proud of me. I don't know him, but I believe he should be proud of you. You seem like a very worthy submissive. My compliments to him. Also, thanks for the wooden spoon idea. I'm not sure how to make sure she's done it hard enough, though. As she enjoys some pain, and she would have "control" of the amount she gets, I'd probably not be convinced (unless I saw some welts or a tear). :p quote: ORIGINAL: cajingrl done to me at one on cam...or at least i had to do it to myself while He watched.....He made me put a piece of ginger root in my behind for a specified period of time....that immediately corrected the behavior, because it burns like hell..... Youch! Yes, I have heard of that tactic. While I don't think that would be one I'd try, thanks for the suggestion. Maybe someone else here will make use of it. quote: ORIGINAL: ownedgirliei have been known to have to fill both cavities as full as possible with ice cubes...every 2-4 hours (depending on what he decided) and keep them there until they melted out, while reflecting how cold my center becomes without him there to warm me. I like that. I may have her get a couple ice cubes to melt in her pussy next time she gets it "warmed up" without being told. Good idea. Thanks for all the good posts so far!

Arpig -> RE: ideas for punishment of an online submissive (3/28/2006 4:38:49 AM)
I'm sorry CanadianGuy, but I just can't resist....online punishment?....make her use AOL[;)][;)]

ivorylace -> RE: ideas for punishment of an online submissive (3/28/2006 5:59:28 AM)
The hardest punishment is in her knowing she displeased... One that was done to me in the past, though it was not an online relationship, it still can be done here. He made me stop calling Him Master, I had to use the term "Sir" until He felt I earned Him to once more be my Master. That took 7 full days. But I will fourth the vote for essays. Essays make us think. ~ lace

LoupdeMontagne -> RE: ideas for punishment of an online submissive (3/28/2006 7:18:18 AM)
I agree, as some of the others have pointed out, that the thing which makes her most content is her role in the dynamic of your relationship. If you wish to get her attention remove that dynamic. Don't be her dominant or Master for a while until her behavior warrants the return of that structure. Most slaves, I don't much about submissives, kick punish themselves more for disappointing you than you can. All that's left is to correct their behavior or teach them how to correct it themselves. Hephaestus Chambre du Loup de Montagne

wouldlike2 -> RE: ideas for punishment of an on line submissive (3/28/2006 7:50:29 AM)
quote: The thing I would do, is withdrawn my dominance. for me to be honest .. withdrawal is a kind of abuse... it would destroy my trust and my safety... i do not see as an punishment - i see it more like to set me in an instable situation.... and how should i trust someOne when He shows me that this relation and the careness to me is like a "game"?? may i am wrong with this but.... for me there is a hard limit and there is a thin line... may it does work for some... but its always an unique thing.....

doves -> RE: ideas for punishment of an online submissive (3/28/2006 7:53:09 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: fyreredsub how about having her write an essay on whatever the topic/reason for punishment is. (that way you know it'll get done) give a time limit on completion. oops edited for ...i should have read enitire thread first. dove had the thought already, sorry girl. we seem to be on the same wave length[;)] great minds think alike [:D]

RavenMuse -> RE: ideas for punishment of an online submissive (3/28/2006 8:21:55 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LoupdeMontagne Most slaves, I don't much about submissives, kick punish themselves more for disappointing you than you can. All that's left is to correct their behavior or teach them how to correct it themselves. How they react, I totaly agree however I would have a care at withdrawing the dynamic unless as a last resort, IMO doing so can weaken the relationship, especialy if used more than once. As for them beating themselves up... it is something I try to avoid, punishment is MY perogative, not hers and whilst the disapointment is usualy enough to correct the behaviour, some girls need more overt punishment to give them closure on the incident and avoid them turning on themselves too much. I don't do online 'only' and must admit I don't personaly hold it in high regard, so my experiences are only supplimentary to RL and normaly I would defer punishment till I saw them again.... or set something, like already suggested, an essay prefferably linked to the action that invoked the punishment, getting them to focus on their behaviour and the possible causes of it.

LoupdeMontagne -> RE: ideas for punishment of an online submissive (3/28/2006 10:32:16 AM)
Indeed, Brother, we do think fairly alike. I don't do online only relationships and the removal of that dynamic is only as a last resort. Though slaves tend to beat themselves up I also tell them that it isn't their place or right to do that, though it doesn't always stop them. Since they are an extension of my will: when I have administered correction and moved on, they are to do the same. shrugs Essays are good for the first time an offense happens so you can get an idea of what's going on in their minds but later on, for repeat offenses, you don't generally need to know why it happened. It's been explained before..correct it and move on. Hephaestus Chambre du Loup de Montagne

yourbadgal -> RE: ideas for punishment of an online submissive (3/28/2006 10:55:17 AM)
i suggest: make her do something she hates/doesn't like to do. i can't give a reason for it, but i think so. thank Y/you for Y/your attention :) bad girl.

ownedgirlie -> RE: ideas for punishment of an on line submissive (3/28/2006 12:28:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: wouldlike2 quote: The thing I would do, is withdrawn my dominance. for me to be honest .. withdrawal is a kind of abuse... it would destroy my trust and my safety... i do not see as an punishment - i see it more like to set me in an instable situation.... and how should i trust someOne when He shows me that this relation and the careness to me is like a "game"?? may i am wrong with this but.... for me there is a hard limit and there is a thin line... may it does work for some... but its always an unique thing..... It wouldnt work for me. It would cause me to retreat into myself and withdraw from him. His ultimate goal for me is to be as close & connected to him as possible. Removing himself does not accomplish that. Removing the foundation he created for me would hurt me more than it would teach me anything. Oh sure, it would teach me i can not count on his consistency to always be there. Not the lesson he would prefer me to learn....

Protaganist -> RE: ideas for punishment of an online submissive (3/30/2006 3:49:41 AM)
Personally, in situations where I was seperated from those I was in a relationship with - I found orgasim denial for a set period of time, while maintaining a healthy phone-sex life, worked wonderfully. It's highly frustrating, to hear someone they want to serve and please - serving and pleasing themselves, and be forbidden from partaking in that. Not to mention, sexual frustrations can be very good for slipping past the walls individuals build around their actions, and stabbing at the root of a thought.

CanadianGuy -> RE: ideas for punishment of an online submissive (4/1/2006 11:43:12 AM)
Thanks everyone for all the suggestions. I'll update with last night's events. We were chatting last night and looking forward to a few hours of finally being together after a few days of being too busy to talk much. We were going to connect, play, and then either talk on the phone or she was going to go on webcam. A bit of background: she has a lazy, selfish streak and sometimes forgets we have plans, or falls asleep while we're talking, or just asks to be excused and leaves quickly. Sometimes more than others. Lately it's been happening more frequently. So after playing a bit and getting close, she got a bti melancholy and said "I hate this, can't you just be here and controlling me?" Which got me a bit..... less intense. And made me feel a bit sad, but I still wanted to play and enjoy each other. She got quiet, and then I let her sit for a minute before replying, and when I did, there was no response. After a few minutes her name went idle, meaning she wasn't at the keyboard. I guess she fell asleep, either by accident (she has a laptop so she's on the bed much of the time we talk) or on purpose (decided not to bother continuing the conversation). Of course, that wasn't okay with me. So I wrote left her some messages detailing her punishment. In summary: - because she denied me pleasure, no orgasms for her - because she broke her promise to stop flaking out on our chats, an essay on trust - becauses he wasted my time and denied me of her presence, no contact with me beyond 15 minutes a day and only when convenient with me This will last 3 days. I also emailed a copy of the punishment. A couple hours later she came back from idle (meaning she woke up and checked the computer). After about a minute (the time it would take to read the punishment) she went offline. She hasn't been back online (unless she's invisible) since. That was 12 hours ago. Does the punishment seem fitting? I wanted it to be relevant (someone mentioned that here in the thread) and also reasonable in severity. I also want it to teach her, not just "get back" at her. I will miss our chats (15 minutes is nothing, for us) but I believe it's for the best in the long run. I don't plan on accepting her selfish and lazy behaviour.

proudsub -> RE: ideas for punishment of an online submissive (4/1/2006 12:49:10 PM)
How well do you know her? People who leave chat frequently with no explanation are often married. Does she allow you to phone her at home?

CanadianGuy -> RE: ideas for punishment of an online submissive (4/1/2006 1:01:38 PM)
We've been together 3+ years, and she lives with her parents, but they're not the reason she was interrupted. They were asleep and her part of the house locks. Trust me, if she had a good excuse for going idle all the time, she'd use it.

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