RE: Spinoff: fear play and trust

RE: Spinoff: fear play and trust (Full Version)

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BossyShoeBitch -> RE: Spinoff: fear play and trust (2/21/2010 8:06:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: agirl quote: ORIGINAL: allthatjaz agirl, I know completely where your coming from and all I can say is thank god he can instill that fear in me!! S has a good brain. He's a quick thinker, strongly holds his own in a debate and isn't afraid to be forthright with what he's thinking but there's a physical strength to this too. Before I got with S I didn't really believe that men where that much stronger than women. I always thought I could fight a man and one our very first experiences was me pushing him to take me if he could! Its been a real wake up call for me to suddenly understand that S can pick me up and throw me over his shoulder with ease and that if I do try to struggle I don't stand a chance. Knowing that strength does add to my fears because I know that he could snap me like a sparrow if he wanted to. His physical strength protects me but it also makes me fearful at times because I know he's not afraid to use it to get what he wants. I will add to that, that I wouldn't want it any other way. The only reason he got me is because he doesn't take any of my bullshit and I can no more wrap him around my little finger than I could train my cat to bark. It'd be a disaster if I stood any chance of wrapping M around my little finger. I've had a lifetime of quietly doing what I want. I'm cute, I learned as a child that I could get away with things because people couldn't bear to challenge me. Who'd want to push someone as sweet as me? Well, basically, no-one,..........until I met M. I AM sweet , I AM cute , I AM nice.....but I'm also stubborn, quietly willful and defiant in the wrong hands. I also thought I could get my way with anyone, not in a physical way, as my partners have always been huge men , but with smiles, certain looks, winsome behaviour, arguements, strops, sulks and so on..... As M would say , * It's SO rewarding when you're happy, and so horribly NOT when you're miz. It just took someone to do what's best, who could be immune to me being miz, for me to be bloody GLAD. Not glad in the moment , but just glad overall. At last, someone who MEANS NO!* when they say NO. M outdoes me in every area...bigger, stronger, more stubborn , impossible to manipulate and has me always slightly apprehensive. That's no mean feat. agirl I feel like you just described me...

agirl -> RE: Spinoff: fear play and trust (2/21/2010 10:59:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Smutmonger There's a world of difference between hurt and harm. A creative,competent sadist can really put the boots to you-and not do actual harm. So there is an element of evil involved here. Someone you know enjoys you,and enjoys making you suffer-while still respecting you as a human being. Absolutely. M would be mortified if he HARMED me. In fact, we recently had an example of this, which amazed us both and took us both completely by surprise. He's branded me , pierced me himself, had me pierced by others without any pain relief, beaten, cut and many other weird and wonderful things over years......and last week he put an elastic band on my foot and twanged it. I went into complete meltdown. It was the fear from hell. I would have sold my soul at that point......over an elastic band. After ALL I've been through.....HOW could a daft elastic band have me crying and offering to fetch needles..I was offering to take all the things that I fear and hate the most, rather than have that band twang my foot, or anywhere else. Despite the ridiculousness of the situation, depite the fact that BOTH of us were a bit stunned to say the least.....he took the bands and broke them. I have never been so grateful. Obviously my fear was WAY out of proportion to the situation, it was recognised as such, it was halted and I was reassured. We talked about it later on and both of us were still bemused by it. 3 days later, I wrapped his Valentines pressie in two elastic bands. It was a plea from me to go there again with him. I would have understood if he hadn't wanted to, as believe it or not, it was one of the most traumatic situations we'd ever had! So no....... he doesn't want to harm me ....... whether it be an elastic band or a scalpel..and yes, he did go there again and whatever caused the meltdown was beaten. I'm still terrified of elastic bands...lol... but the only way I could be harmed by this would have been if he couldn't/didn't understand. agirl

agirl -> RE: Spinoff: fear play and trust (2/21/2010 11:08:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BossyShoeBitch quote: ORIGINAL: agirl quote: ORIGINAL: allthatjaz agirl, I know completely where your coming from and all I can say is thank god he can instill that fear in me!! S has a good brain. He's a quick thinker, strongly holds his own in a debate and isn't afraid to be forthright with what he's thinking but there's a physical strength to this too. Before I got with S I didn't really believe that men where that much stronger than women. I always thought I could fight a man and one our very first experiences was me pushing him to take me if he could! Its been a real wake up call for me to suddenly understand that S can pick me up and throw me over his shoulder with ease and that if I do try to struggle I don't stand a chance. Knowing that strength does add to my fears because I know that he could snap me like a sparrow if he wanted to. His physical strength protects me but it also makes me fearful at times because I know he's not afraid to use it to get what he wants. I will add to that, that I wouldn't want it any other way. The only reason he got me is because he doesn't take any of my bullshit and I can no more wrap him around my little finger than I could train my cat to bark. It'd be a disaster if I stood any chance of wrapping M around my little finger. I've had a lifetime of quietly doing what I want. I'm cute, I learned as a child that I could get away with things because people couldn't bear to challenge me. Who'd want to push someone as sweet as me? Well, basically, no-one,..........until I met M. I AM sweet , I AM cute , I AM nice.....but I'm also stubborn, quietly willful and defiant in the wrong hands. I also thought I could get my way with anyone, not in a physical way, as my partners have always been huge men , but with smiles, certain looks, winsome behaviour, arguements, strops, sulks and so on..... As M would say , * It's SO rewarding when you're happy, and so horribly NOT when you're miz. It just took someone to do what's best, who could be immune to me being miz, for me to be bloody GLAD. Not glad in the moment , but just glad overall. At last, someone who MEANS NO!* when they say NO. M outdoes me in every area...bigger, stronger, more stubborn , impossible to manipulate and has me always slightly apprehensive. That's no mean feat. agirl I feel like you just described me... We are obviously not alone ....lol agirl

ourmsbetty -> RE: Spinoff: fear play and trust (2/21/2010 12:23:28 PM)
I love playing with fear. There is a special intimacy of knowing someone so well you know exactly which buttons to push to take them right to the edge without going over. I remember watching the film Punish Me (much better than the cliched name makes it sound) and hearing the Domme describe the way she moves around inside her boy's mind. The key to successful fear play, I believe, is that element of mystery the ladies here have described so well. I remember once having a boy bound and blindfolded, Concrete Blonde's Bloodletting throbbing through the speakers. I was behind him, barefoot. He could not see me, could not hear me and had no idea what I might be about to do. His fear was almost tangible. I think it comes down to finding the perfect balance point...knowing someone well enough to trust them but not quite well enough to anticipate their every move. Ms. Betty

dreamerdreaming -> RE: Spinoff: fear play and trust (2/21/2010 3:39:34 PM)
Mindfucks, fear play, whatever you want to call it- that's a HARD limit for my boy and I. [:'(]

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