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wisdomtogive -> RE: who makes a great DOM (2/11/2010 1:27:49 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: IBNotADominate
quote:
ORIGINAL: eroticone4u
i'm new to this lifesyle and wanting to become a great DOM to either a sub or slave. i would like to know what each of those look for in a DOM? would any female care to help me out with this?
Be aware that many subs/slaves SAY they want a Dom who respects them, who listens to them, who isn't afraid of an intelligent sub, who doesn't think having 'spirit' is the same as being bratty, etc ... they have their fantasy list of perfect attributes. But what they respond to is totally different. It seems that a significant majority CHOOSE the married, uneducated, unemployed asshole, abusive jerk. They all have a story of such a relationship, and if it doesn't run them off of BdSm, then the 2nd or 3rd such relationship does. IF the subs didn't select them, all the online assholes would not be having any luck, and would have to change their tactics. It won't do you any good to have integrity, be honest ... and don't be stupid enough to be courteous because subs perceive that as weakness. Oh yeah ... don't forget, they also expect you to be a "Master" at the age of 24 ... hell ... 1/2 the guys on here haven't mastered hitting the toilet by that age!
IF the wish lists that the subs have posted were realistic, then the honest, experienced, intelligent, employed, single, r/l Doms w/ integrity would be swamped, but that's clearly not the case. As Dante Alighieri (NOT Robert Dante) said: "Abandon hope, all ye who enter here." I can only stay true to myself, but that doesn't work online ... so I'd recommend you try emulating the abusive assholes. Good luck. (PS: the other online BdSm boards are equally bad to this one. The grass is not greener elsewhere.)
oy vey!!!!!!!!!!
OP
Actually I do require someone who does like the core me...which is intelligent, artistic, creative, moody, and very abstract. A dom that can be comfortable with that is great for me, and that is they type I serve now.
He is compassioate to all subs/slaves and does not treat them like a piece of dirt.
He does not need to wear that dom-dom t-shirt telling the world he is dominant because it is in his energy.
He can apologize if he is wrong.
He enjoys my thoughts and opinions on a variety of subjects, which shows an honor to who I am.
He can teach me in ways he knows I learn best.
His way is our way, because we became a we not him or me, nor mostly him. He seeks for the 'us' to grow through his visio of what he wants, which has a dash of my wants. He also is good at implimenting areas in my life to answer my needs.
He has not taken things away from me, personality wise, to mold me into what he wants, since he chosen someone who has those qualities already.
He understands my weakness and works at turning them around to become my strength.
Sir never wanted a shell of a slave woman, and perhaps that is why so many s-types seek his guidance. He sees the worth, value, intelligence and many other positive traits that we possess and honors them. Honoring another is imho a major plus for a Dom.
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