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Mercnbeth -> RE: Talking Women (2/12/2010 8:16:18 AM)
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~ Fast Misogyny ~
Talking women can be annoying, especially when they get together to chat about how bad their partners are and how they 'abuse' them. However they "put up with it", because "what else can I do?", "otherwise he's a 'good guy'", "I can't afford to be out there on my own", "I don't want to upset the kids", or "whatever....". In 54 years of life, I've never been around a group of men having similar discussions. As we all know from our reading of representations made on CM; men are slimy, shallow pigs, who only talk about sex, lack of sex, their frigid wifes, partners who don't indulge their fantasies, getting head, fast cars, getting head while driving a fast car, and sports.
There is a distinction too. "Talking women", exchanging viewpoints and perspectives are enjoyable and a source of knowledge. Lecturing women are a pain in the ass, no less than any source of 'one true way'.
They are the pointed direction of the joke; why is divorce so expensive? - It's worth it. And it is
My talking woman is entertaining, amusing, intellectually stimulating, and a joy to be around. We go to sleep talking with each other and wake up talking with each other. Not 'at', not 'to' - with. At the end of the day, I couldn't tell you about what; but somehow when we wake up - there's still more to say. Whatever is going on -the news, sports, kids - ours & others, pets, house maintenance, car maintenance, trips, parties, costumes, shopping, politics; disagreeing as often as agreeing. beth is fun to talk with, a source of knowledge and unconsidered perspectives.
This morning, when beth came back in the room after waking up the rooster, she pointed out this thread. I asked her if she ever felt something she had to say was "unwelcome". I was surprised that she answered yes. her first example was her emotional feelings about animal rescue commercials. Not so much 'unwelcome' but kinda silly - "no beth - you can't adopt every abandoned pet!". I know - I'm a cruel 'Master'. The other example was when she did something, or didn't do something she was supposed to because she knew it would upset me. Well, I can appreciate the anticipation of talking about something which would disappoint me would be unwelcome. I feel the same way. There's never a deliberate, or conscious effort to do so, but one similarity between us is we both are much more demanding of ourselves than we are of each other. I realize that we both don't like to tell the other about the mistakes we made; yet we do and move on. We are eagerly anticipating our first 'fight' because we want to experience 'make-up sex'!
We enjoy talking with each other and have had a running dialog for seven years.
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