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RE: Worth my while to be "a freak" - 2/14/2010 9:55:58 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		"Normal" in my mind relates to your social circle. It is about your friends, family and work environment. Given where I work and the vast majority of my friends I have spent most of my life on the outside of that.

When I was younger I reveled in it. To this day I still rather enjoy what many folks would call a "twisted" world view. I don't actively seek to be contrary. If I am being honest, I would say I see things more clearly than most others. If that is hubris, so be it.

As this relates to wiitwd, I am a hetero male, not at all out of the norm..;). My, proclivities are probably far out of the norm but I don't give that much thought. It is a part of who I am but not all of me by a long shot.

AS for the thread that started this one, My point was that My being hetero is indeed hard wired. No matter how much I wanted to be different, I could no more be gay or bi, than be a submissive.

Jeff

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RE: Worth my while to be "a freak" - 2/14/2010 10:05:06 AM   
Icarys


Posts: 5757
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

"Normal" in my mind relates to your social circle. It is about your friends, family and work environment. Given where I work and the vast majority of my friends I have spent most of my life on the outside of that.

When I was younger I reveled in it. To this day I still rather enjoy what many folks would call a "twisted" world view. I don't actively seek to be contrary. If I am being honest, I would say I see things more clearly than most others. If that is hubris, so be it.

As this relates to wiitwd, I am a hetero male, not at all out of the norm..;). My, proclivities are probably far out of the norm but I don't give that much thought. It is a part of who I am but not all of me by a long shot.

AS for the thread that started this one, My point was that My being hetero is indeed hard wired. No matter how much I wanted to be different, I could no more be gay or bi, than be a submissive.

Jeff

Well If I am being honest, I would say I see things more clearly than those who think they see things more clearer than most. If that is hubris, so be it.

Yes it does just a tad. If I am being honest.


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RE: Worth my while to be "a freak" - 2/14/2010 10:09:57 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		That's ok, I don't mind...:)

I don't walk around announcing it. It is something I keep to myself. It often makes me smile though...;)


Jeff


As always, edited for typing, not content


< Message edited by Jeffff -- 2/14/2010 10:10:59 AM >

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RE: Worth my while to be "a freak" - 2/14/2010 10:16:22 AM   
VaguelyCurious


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika
Ok,  I see your point about statistical normalcy. Now how do we gather the data? Is it self-reported? Is the observer biased? See what I'm saying?


Data collection would be practically impossible for some attributes, and pretty easy for others (eg height, weight...). That wasn't my point-if you did manage to get over the hurdles of accurate data collection, the graph you get would be factual; you said that normalcy was a social construct; I was disagreeing with that point.

quote:


In my world, it is normal to be sexually curious and to have slept with both genders. It is also normal to go to sex shops and buy toys, to have gone to check out a swinger's club or fetish club at least once and to have been in at least one threesome and at least one orgy. All these things are readily available to the average 18+ urban Montrealer.

And even though I just might be considered sexual deviant from the normality curve some may have produced, I haven't done all in the list that I just produced. All this means is that in my society, in my microsociety rather, I'm relatively normal.

- LA



But the OP wasn't asking about your microsociety, Lady A-they were asking about the mainstream...


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RE: Worth my while to be "a freak" - 2/14/2010 10:18:46 AM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		I really didn't get the "last" thread and I am not following this one.

I think the gist is to make people feel relevant and like they have control over their life when in all actuality to to ignore your authentic self would be the path of a coward or liar.

You like drugs...Knock your socks off. The path taken to follow this noble pursuit is usually not filled with grandeur. It is probably wise to avoid it.

If you haven't been too fucked up by the word through acts of trauma or abuse and you reach the honest conclusion that you are gay, straight or bi and you "chose" to not live an authentic life you are nothing more than living a fraud. You are a liar a charlatan. Every day you look in the mirror you must cringe a little more at the reflection staring back at you.

We all make choices how to live our life. It comes back to common sense. A common thread in these here threads.

Accept that which is out of your hands and change those things you have influence over? What is so difficult about this?

So many continually bitch about those things that are beyond the realm of their influence and refuse to act on the things that cause them misery that they have the power to alleviate.

What gives?



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RE: Worth my while to be "a freak" - 2/14/2010 10:24:24 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

.But the OP wasn't asking about your microsociety, Lady A-they were asking about the mainstream...




But do any of us live in the mainstream?  There are about 3 million people in Chicago. There are maybe 1000 of those ( rough estimate?)  That I relate to in any way.

The person living on the Gold Coast is not in my society, Nor is the person living in the West Side ghetto.

This grows exponentially as you add the entire country. If you start adding the world, how is a person living in the Sudan for instance, mainstream?

Jeff

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RE: Worth my while to be "a freak" - 2/14/2010 10:27:21 AM   
Icarys


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quote:

To me, it isn't so hard to understand. People have been sacrificing their lives for love since the dawn of time. It's the same for me in every area where I am outside the mainstream (for me, this includes religion, career, relationships, sexuality... in fact, I think there are so few areas where I -am- mainstream that it's almost work to find one... and yet, for 40 years, I have managed to integrate within the mainstream, keep my jobs, cherish my loves, practice and teach my beliefs, espouse my philosophies. Have I sacrificed... absolutely! There have been many times when I've had to choose between doing what meshed with my core, and working in a particular situation or associating with a certain group of people, and sometimes, I've had to let go of people I'd come to cherish, because my life-choices were causing strain on them that they weren't ready to handle. Still, I can honestly say that I don't find my choices to have been an insurmountable burden. Yes there were challenges, but perhaps all it takes for me to find rewards that outweigh the negatives is to be able to live as my authentic self... it is a no-brainer. Forcing myself to live a 'mainstream' life for love or money would be so negative on a daily basis for me that the challenges of living an outre life seem painless by comparison.

How about you? If you are outside the mainstream, what makes the rewards exceed the pain?


I agree, it isn't hard to understand.

For me though..I rarely think of anything as a sacrifice. Rarely do I think of the things I give up for the sake of what I want..

I've recently given up a relationship over my desires inside the lifestyle. I did think about my choices at the time and I do miss that person..(we are still friends) but I made the right choice for me. Even though we had good chemistry, we just weren't compatible on some very important things.(to me at least)

It saddens people surely to make certain choices but if they're made based on who they are and what they really need. For me the real sacrifice would be not being true to yourself.


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submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

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RE: Worth my while to be "a freak" - 2/14/2010 10:29:38 AM   
Icarys


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Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

That's ok, I don't mind...:)

I don't walk around announcing it. It is something I keep to myself. It often makes me smile though...;)


Jeff


As always, edited for typing, not content


Isn't that what ya just did a post up :>

I can relate though..I'm smiling inside as well


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submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

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RE: Worth my while to be "a freak" - 2/14/2010 10:37:40 AM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

.But the OP wasn't asking about your microsociety, Lady A-they were asking about the mainstream...




But do any of us live in the mainstream?  There are about 3 million people in Chicago. There are maybe 1000 of those ( rough estimate?)  That I relate to in any way.

The person living on the Gold Coast is not in my society, Nor is the person living in the West Side ghetto.

This grows exponentially as you add the entire country. If you start adding the world, how is a person living in the Sudan for instance, mainstream?

Jeff


Damnit, Mr Anteater-you have me there...
*concedes the point*


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RE: Worth my while to be "a freak" - 2/14/2010 11:36:56 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

.But the OP wasn't asking about your microsociety, Lady A-they were asking about the mainstream...




But do any of us live in the mainstream?  There are about 3 million people in Chicago. There are maybe 1000 of those ( rough estimate?)  That I relate to in any way.

The person living on the Gold Coast is not in my society, Nor is the person living in the West Side ghetto.

This grows exponentially as you add the entire country. If you start adding the world, how is a person living in the Sudan for instance, mainstream?

Jeff


I haven't a clue what the *mainstream* IS outside of my little herb garden.....Here, I know what's likely to cause some people have a hissy fit and what isn't.

I live the way I want to live almost all of the time, I adjust bits and bobs to accomodate people I care about but I'll only go so far: they don't have to live with me and I do.( and the ones that DO live with me adjust to fit ME too)

How about you? If you are outside the mainstream, what makes the rewards exceed the pain?

 There hasn't been any pain........certainly not in any bdsm or D/s sense. I don't live the way many people around me do but their lives don't impinge on mine anymore than mine does them. They seem nice enough people and I'm nice enough too. All we have to do is rub along.

There's not much that I could really classify as "pain" by living however I've wanted to, 'though as Jefff mentioned, stick me in the Sudan or some other culture and I might well have more trauma.

agirl



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RE: Worth my while to be "a freak" - 2/14/2010 1:41:56 PM   
LadyAngelika


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quote:

But the OP wasn't asking about your microsociety, Lady A-they were asking about the mainstream...


So what do you think has more influence over my feelings of acceptance? My microsociety or the mainstream?

- LA


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RE: Worth my while to be "a freak" - 2/14/2010 1:47:46 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

.But the OP wasn't asking about your microsociety, Lady A-they were asking about the mainstream...




But do any of us live in the mainstream?  There are about 3 million people in Chicago. There are maybe 1000 of those ( rough estimate?)  That I relate to in any way.

The person living on the Gold Coast is not in my society, Nor is the person living in the West Side ghetto.

This grows exponentially as you add the entire country. If you start adding the world, how is a person living in the Sudan for instance, mainstream?

Jeff


These are great points Jeff. For example, a gay man is not "the norm" in the US. However, a gay man is the norm in the Castro. In the Castro, no gay man feels like an outcast. But let him travel inland to Buttfuck Nowhere USA and I think that he will feel just a little more like an outcast.

- LA


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RE: Worth my while to be "a freak" - 2/14/2010 1:49:17 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

.But the OP wasn't asking about your microsociety, Lady A-they were asking about the mainstream...




But do any of us live in the mainstream?  There are about 3 million people in Chicago. There are maybe 1000 of those ( rough estimate?)  That I relate to in any way.

The person living on the Gold Coast is not in my society, Nor is the person living in the West Side ghetto.

This grows exponentially as you add the entire country. If you start adding the world, how is a person living in the Sudan for instance, mainstream?

Jeff


These are great points Jeff. For example, a gay man is not "the norm" in the US. However, a gay man is the norm in the Castro. In the Castro, no gay man feels like an outcast. But let him travel inland to Buttfuck Nowhere USA and I think that he will feel just a little more like an outcast.

- LA



So what? What is the point to all of this?

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RE: Worth my while to be "a freak" - 2/14/2010 2:08:41 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
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quote:

So what? What is the point to all of this?


Sometimes you feel like a nut. Sometimes you don't. ;-)

- LA


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RE: Worth my while to be "a freak" - 2/14/2010 2:12:47 PM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

.But the OP wasn't asking about your microsociety, Lady A-they were asking about the mainstream...




But do any of us live in the mainstream?  There are about 3 million people in Chicago. There are maybe 1000 of those ( rough estimate?)  That I relate to in any way.

The person living on the Gold Coast is not in my society, Nor is the person living in the West Side ghetto.

This grows exponentially as you add the entire country. If you start adding the world, how is a person living in the Sudan for instance, mainstream?

Jeff


These are great points Jeff. For example, a gay man is not "the norm" in the US. However, a gay man is the norm in the Castro. In the Castro, no gay man feels like an outcast. But let him travel inland to Buttfuck Nowhere USA and I think that he will feel just a little more like an outcast.

- LA




*mapquesting Buttfuck Nowhere*

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RE: Worth my while to be "a freak" - 2/14/2010 2:15:58 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
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quote:


*mapquesting Buttfuck Nowhere*


I was trying to think of a place, but then I knew I'd name this place and someone would be from there and then all of a sudden, woooof!! the flames would fly.

Buttfuck Nowhere seemed quite appropriate ;-) I could have used Sainte-Clotilde-de-Rubber-Boot in Quebec, Canada... but no one would have gotten that one.

- LA

< Message edited by LadyAngelika -- 2/14/2010 2:17:22 PM >

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RE: Worth my while to be "a freak" - 2/14/2010 2:53:38 PM   
Whiplashsmile4


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

quote:


*mapquesting Buttfuck Nowhere*


I was trying to think of a place, but then I knew I'd name this place and someone would be from there and then all of a sudden, woooof!! the flames would fly.

Buttfuck Nowhere seemed quite appropriate ;-) I could have used Sainte-Clotilde-de-Rubber-Boot in Quebec, Canada... but no one would have gotten that one.

- LA


Since the age of 12, I've always known this place to be "BumFuck Egypt". I'd love to give some people one way all expense paid tickets there for permanent vacation.




< Message edited by Whiplashsmile4 -- 2/14/2010 2:56:58 PM >

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RE: Worth my while to be "a freak" - 2/14/2010 3:07:37 PM   
Whiplashsmile4


Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline 		My EX from two years ago, called me up today to wish me Happy Valentines Day. I've not heard from her in about 6 monthes. Anyways, she's a Freak through and through. Into twisted Kinky sex and other things. The Kicker is, that she's also Crazy when she's been drinking and has a Drinking Problem that tends to reveal her Anger issues. Yeah, anyways.. totally not worth my wild at all. She was talking about wanting to feel my body and skin and trace her fingers around the beautiful scars on my body. Nope, this Dude ain't going for the ride. Good thing she lives a half an hour away. (Space and Distance can be a wonderful thing). Drunken Valentines Days phone calls for sexual hookups from EX's, just so not worth My wild regardless of how Freaky they are. I'm feeling rather Vanilla today, being vanilla today is so much more worth my wild and best interests. Just saying.

< Message edited by Whiplashsmile4 -- 2/14/2010 3:08:35 PM >

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Жизнь ума ебет.

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RE: Worth my while to be "a freak" - 2/15/2010 7:36:06 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I was born a freak, and carry it on my face, with scars and deformity. Then I did it with my intellect. Having always been an edge person, having an alternative sexuality never seemed strange. It's those OTHER folks, eh?


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RE: Worth my while to be "a freak" - 2/17/2010 5:48:13 AM   
rocketgas


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Status: offline 		well girls that like to be topped, just call me

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