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RE: How things have changed.. - 2/14/2010 9:14:56 AM   
Dominasola


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quote:

ORIGINAL: TheHeretic

Nothing has changed.


What HAS changed, though, is how this behaviour is dealt with.  There seem to be fewer consequences for misbehaviour from all levels of authority - from my experience, parents tend to just LET their children run rampant, and teachers are no longer allowed to instill discipline or to punish students for bad behaviour.

Actions that may once have been met with negative consequences (a simple example - handing in an assignment late at school) have absolutely no consequences now at all (teachers - at least in the school board in my area - are not allowed to deduct marks from late assignments).


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RE: How things have changed.. - 2/14/2010 9:24:29 AM   
Lucylastic


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quote:

ORIGINAL: pahunkboy

If that doesnt work just start reading them my NWO posts.

God bless your heart Hunky, lol

I did take my kids computers away several times, well not entirely true, I would take the power cords away
I grew up in a similar way to  Stella... mum got conniptions the day she hit me over the head with the hair brush, I got extra wallop for breaking her favourite brush too
Boys were sposed to get the cane, girls a slipper..I got the cane  I think four times and several chalk erasers bounced of my head.
My kids altho growed now, still do as they're told if I give em the look.
I was 29 when I realised I was a slightly less fierce copy of my own mum



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RE: How things have changed.. - 2/14/2010 10:38:59 AM   
Marc2b


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quote:

not so, ladypact. the worst punishment is to take away their computer AND their ipod or other internet connecting phone device.


A couple of years ago I was in an Office Max and there was this man sternly telling his daughter - she looked to be about fourteen - that she was grounded for two weeks (what her offence was, I never found out). He was telling that during that time she would not be allowed any television, computer, etc. Her response to each of these was a defiant, "yeah, yeah."

Until he said, "and no cell phone." She stopped in her tracks and the look of sheer horror on her face...

You'd have thought he said, "Oh, and I'm going to rip your beating heart out of your chest and show it to you before you die."

I actually felt a little sorry for her. Whatever she did, I think she learned her lesson.



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RE: How things have changed.. - 2/14/2010 12:46:48 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Totally different background here. We were never hit. We were expected to be intelligent adults and make appropriate decisions.

I have a 16 year old son who is turning my hair white. But my younger brother at that age was doing worse stuff.
One of the things now is that there is no shame attached to getting therapy. He goes, several of his friends do also, it's just a chore like piano lessons. Big improvement over my youth when if your family sent you, they were terrified someone might find out.

However, yes, major infractions result in removal of cell phone. Followed by abject begging.

< Message edited by DesFIP -- 2/14/2010 12:51:00 PM >

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RE: How things have changed.. - 2/14/2010 4:16:43 PM   
JonnieBoy


Posts: 1468
Joined: 4/22/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b

local kids (teenage boys) kept coming and kicking each others' balls



Sounds like some serious S&M that ...

Pirate

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RE: How things have changed.. - 2/14/2010 4:29:14 PM   
domiguy


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quote:

ORIGINAL: TheHeretic

Ok.  This is starting to get kinda creepy...


I agree with Rich...Very creepy indeed. Could this Global warming thing all be a hoax?

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RE: How things have changed.. - 2/14/2010 5:05:18 PM   
Toppingfrmbottom


Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline 		that reminds me of a funny scene from the nanny, the oldest had just dyed her hair bright red, and the father hated it an said so and ranted and raved and she's like well I am 18 I'll do what ever I like.

Niles the Butler, was like what a lovely color it makes you look so much younger nobody will believe you're 18, and she immediatly said I hate it I am going back to blond.
quote:

ORIGINAL: LatteAddict

Most of us can remember the "good old days". Though whether the "good old days" ever actually existed I not so sure.

Kids have always been regarded as a pain in the arse since the dawn of time. They frequently get up to some sort of mischief. Grown-ups aren't always much better.

I can't really comment about what went on between your neighbour Roy and the local kids (teenage boys). After all, I wasn't there.



There's an art to handling kids and people in general. It's called respect. Go in all guns blazing and people are likely to return fire.



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RE: How things have changed.. - 2/14/2010 5:27:25 PM   
Wolf2Bear


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LatteAddict

That said, I've dealt with similar situations. Having a bit of tact generally works, "look lads, please... " etc. etc. generally results in "okay mister" and off they go to play elsewhere.

There's an art to handling kids and people in general. It's called respect. Go in all guns blazing and people are likely to return fire.



Yet many of us were raised in a way that we wouldn't ever consider doing something like what Stella related. We were taught to respect all adults first and foremost, this included always saying "please and thank you,"  addressing adults as Mister or Misses depending on the gender. Heaven forbid if another adult caught us being disrespectful of people or property because it was guaranteed that either mom or dad found out as our asses would be nailed to the wall and not in a good way.

Over the years I have dealt with unruly kids and it's been my observation that it really didn't matter if I treated them like an adult or not, the majority of the time I was met with disrespect. I have come to the conclusion that kids are a reflection of parenting skills of the parents. Time and time again when I see parents raising their offspring to be courteous and respectful, they receive respect back in spades. Oft it seems that mode of upbringing is few and far between.


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RE: How things have changed.. - 2/14/2010 5:34:34 PM   
DesFIP


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quote:

ORIGINAL: wulfgarw

Yeah, some years ago, I was doing some grocery shopping and passed the candy isle.  There sat a UM, looked to be maybe 5 or 6, sitting on the floor just opening bags of candy(usually to a great deal of mess) and eating maybe one or two, and throwing the rest down on the floor.  The mother, standing over the male UM, tears in her eyes, PLEADING with the UM.   "PLEASE stop that, Please come with me, please, please, please, please."

The um just looks up, at which the mother shrinks back, and screams "SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU STUPID BITCH CUNT!"  and continues to open bags of candy.  I had to walk away before grabbing him and turning him over my knee and getting myself into bigger trouble than the kid already was, who obviously didn't care about being in trouble.

Just one more reason I don't want any UM's of my own.



It is immediately apparent to me that the child's father says that to the mother and hits her and will not allow the child to be disciplined.

If you don't teach a child things like that, they don't learn it.

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RE: How things have changed.. - 2/14/2010 5:55:20 PM   
heartcream


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From: Psychoalphadiscobetabioaquadoloop
Status: offline 		Of course things have changed. Of course they have. Back in the day, for example if your pa belted you, punched you, knocked your mommy around and you called the popo nobody came. "We dont deal with domestic disputes."



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RE: How things have changed.. - 2/14/2010 6:16:40 PM   
Icarys


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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: wulfgarw

Yeah, some years ago, I was doing some grocery shopping and passed the candy isle.  There sat a UM, looked to be maybe 5 or 6, sitting on the floor just opening bags of candy(usually to a great deal of mess) and eating maybe one or two, and throwing the rest down on the floor.  The mother, standing over the male UM, tears in her eyes, PLEADING with the UM.   "PLEASE stop that, Please come with me, please, please, please, please."

The um just looks up, at which the mother shrinks back, and screams "SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU STUPID BITCH CUNT!"  and continues to open bags of candy.  I had to walk away before grabbing him and turning him over my knee and getting myself into bigger trouble than the kid already was, who obviously didn't care about being in trouble.

Just one more reason I don't want any UM's of my own.



It is immediately apparent to me that the child's father says that to the mother and hits her and will not allow the child to be disciplined.

If you don't teach a child things like that, they don't learn it.


Yes it's apparent to me too. Your either off your meds if your seeing that in those words, projecting your own hatred of men into the story or a little of both.....


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RE: How things have changed.. - 2/14/2010 9:19:26 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Go talk to people who deal with spousal abuse and learn something, if you're capable of seeing past your own issues. A 5 year old child doesn't learn those words on Sesame Street.

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RE: How things have changed.. - 2/14/2010 9:25:53 PM   
Aylee


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quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b

How have things since changed you were younger?


To me, the thing that I have seen change is that it used to be a "bad thing" if you were arrested and went to jail.

It seems to me that now it is a status symbol. 

There is no societal "shunning" for criminal behaviour. 



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RE: How things have changed.. - 2/14/2010 9:34:21 PM   
Marc2b


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quote:

Go talk to people who deal with spousal abuse and learn something, if you're capable of seeing past your own issues. A 5 year old child doesn't learn those words on Sesame Street.


Agreed. He most likely learning to talk to his mother that way from his father. Many a year ago I drove taxi and we had routine runs of people on medicade and medicare accounts. For a time I took a seven year old boy to a therapist. The first time I picked him up I must have drove the entire way with my mouth hanging open - utterly flabergasted. I couldn't believe how foul mouthed that kid was! As we drove he would commet on every woman we passed - telling in graphic detail the things he would like to do to them. For example, how he would like to bend them over and split their ass with his big cock - and that was one of his milder ones.

The look of shock on my face must have been obvious because when I droped him off the therapist took me aside and said, "I can't go into the details, of course, but his father repeatedly brutalized his mother in front of him."





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RE: How things have changed.. - 2/15/2010 7:19:41 AM   
Icarys


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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Go talk to people who deal with spousal abuse and learn something, if you're capable of seeing past your own issues. A 5 year old child doesn't learn those words on Sesame Street.

Yeah but it's not automatically the fathers fault. Pay attention to what you say.


_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
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RE: How things have changed.. - 2/15/2010 7:27:34 AM   
lusciouslips19


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Joined: 9/8/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: wulfgarw

Yeah, some years ago, I was doing some grocery shopping and passed the candy isle.  There sat a UM, looked to be maybe 5 or 6, sitting on the floor just opening bags of candy(usually to a great deal of mess) and eating maybe one or two, and throwing the rest down on the floor.  The mother, standing over the male UM, tears in her eyes, PLEADING with the UM.   "PLEASE stop that, Please come with me, please, please, please, please."

The um just looks up, at which the mother shrinks back, and screams "SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU STUPID BITCH CUNT!"  and continues to open bags of candy.  I had to walk away before grabbing him and turning him over my knee and getting myself into bigger trouble than the kid already was, who obviously didn't care about being in trouble.

Just one more reason I don't want any UM's of my own.



You dont want ums of your own because you dont have the strength to parent? Bottom line is to control your kids. Some are too weak and lazy to. Its easier to give in. I remind myself that I am trying to raise a conscientious and productive citizen.

Sometimes its really the parents that need the spanking.

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RE: How things have changed.. - 2/15/2010 7:29:53 AM   
lusciouslips19


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Go talk to people who deal with spousal abuse and learn something, if you're capable of seeing past your own issues. A 5 year old child doesn't learn those words on Sesame Street.

Yeah but it's not automatically the fathers fault. Pay attention to what you say.



True and its not always a woman that the abused. But if the mom is standing there helpless, weak and crying. Its doubtful shes the one whos yelling "stupid cunt".

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Profile   Post #: 37
RE: How things have changed.. - 2/15/2010 7:41:09 AM   
Icarys


Posts: 5757
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: wulfgarw

Yeah, some years ago, I was doing some grocery shopping and passed the candy isle.  There sat a UM, looked to be maybe 5 or 6, sitting on the floor just opening bags of candy(usually to a great deal of mess) and eating maybe one or two, and throwing the rest down on the floor.  The mother, standing over the male UM, tears in her eyes, PLEADING with the UM.   "PLEASE stop that, Please come with me, please, please, please, please."

The um just looks up, at which the mother shrinks back, and screams "SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU STUPID BITCH CUNT!"  and continues to open bags of candy.  I had to walk away before grabbing him and turning him over my knee and getting myself into bigger trouble than the kid already was, who obviously didn't care about being in trouble.

Just one more reason I don't want any UM's of my own.



It is immediately apparent to me that the child's father says that to the mother and hits her and will not allow the child to be disciplined.

If you don't teach a child things like that, they don't learn it.

Where the hell does any of those words lead to those assumptions. Just because you see it happening doesn't in the slightest bit mean that is what's happening here. Is it a possibility that he heard it from his father? Absolutely..Does it mean it's true from the words listed? Nope. He could have heard it from school or the neighbors dad or mother or from a friends sister fighting with another female.

Then to come out with He meaning the father hits her? Up the dosage.
Then He being the father won't allow the kid to be punished..Up it again.

You make some of the wildest, out there assumptions I've seen anyone on this board make. It is obvious to me..not from a small paragraph..but years of posting from you that you have some serious issues with men because a ton of your posts are directed at the failings of men specifically.. Wow.

What's funny is I believe I've talked to you on yahoo for about 2 short minutes (I can't remember what I had for breakfast at times but for some uncanny reason I can remember the majority of the conversations I've had with people 5 and 10 years ago with minimal coaxing..It's a curse at times :>)around two years ago and I got the same feeling then that I do after seeing you post here all that time.  Anyway...Ya need professional help I think.






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submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: How things have changed.. - 2/15/2010 7:44:51 AM   
Icarys


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quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19


quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Go talk to people who deal with spousal abuse and learn something, if you're capable of seeing past your own issues. A 5 year old child doesn't learn those words on Sesame Street.

Yeah but it's not automatically the fathers fault. Pay attention to what you say.



True and its not always a woman that the abused. But if the mom is standing there helpless, weak and crying. Its doubtful shes the one whos yelling "stupid cunt".

Evidently you were posting this while I was typing..It is a possibility although I agree it's doubtful..There are however tons of other possibilities that are just as much that..possibilities.



_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

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Profile   Post #: 39
RE: How things have changed.. - 2/15/2010 7:57:25 AM   
TheHeretic


Posts: 19100
Joined: 3/25/2007
From: California, USA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys
There are however tons of other possibilities that are just as much that..possibilities.



Occam's Razor says Daddy is an abusive piece of shit, though.  That's what I'm going with.

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Profile   Post #: 40
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