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RE: Equality In the D/s Lifestyle - 2/17/2010 2:52:45 PM   
Whiplashsmile4


Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline 		jujuBeeMB,
in regards to you spending $800 dollars on a pair of expensive shoes, I would be reminding you how that money could be applied to a trip to Ireland. In regards to Ireland, I'd love to go and the Bahama's too. I'd just might pull a fast one on you, show you the tickets for the Bahama's first.. see you look all bummed out and disappointed. If you acted like a brat about it, I'd have you apologizing for being a selfish bratty girl, after I whipped out and showed you the tickets for Ireland for right after the Bahama's. Hey, might as well capitalize upons things for all it's worth. If you were not a being a brat, I'd wait until it was near the end of the trip at the Bahama's I'd pull out the tickets and watch your face light up like a christmas tree, and see you bouncing up and down with joy. How you act or behave would be what determines when I'd show you the tickets. Bratty girls some time end up feeling like crap for well being so bratty. Ohhh.. the fun and joys of being in control. hehehe..

< Message edited by Whiplashsmile4 -- 2/17/2010 2:56:12 PM >

_____________________________

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUzJI4Palq0

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RE: Equality In the D/s Lifestyle - 2/17/2010 3:19:11 PM   
Lorenzo19


Posts: 237
Joined: 2/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

If a reasonable compromise can't be reached, then you should probably get out of the relationship, because one or both of you is a stubborn jerk


the 'can't reach agreement' failure point
Right. so the first time compromise is not reached the relationship is over or at least damaged. The relationship cannot last because the end of the relationship is built into the premise. Failure is gauaranteed. It will only survive by sheer chance.

Failure is built into most relationships. example: fidelity. "If you fuck around! I'll dump you."

I think survival of the family outweighs considerations of who makes the final decisions. But, that's only My priorites. Not saying everyone should do it My way - only Me and My girls.

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RE: Equality In the D/s Lifestyle - 2/17/2010 3:19:33 PM   
Whiplashsmile4


Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline 		Some people would play the passive agressive game, going on a trip and playing it to the hilt Looking like a sad puppy dog that just got soaked in a cold rain storm and was spanked and yelled at for being outside.

Hey, don't laugh some people put on a really big show of how miserable they really ain't, just to play the pay back game for not getting their way. Just sort of makes me want to tuck them into some corner with a nice binky and big warm blanky.

Another tactic is the ever so popular... bitch, bitch, bitch and moan, whin, groan and compain tactic. About how the wheather sucks, the food sucks, the service sucks, how aweful it smells, how strange the people are (insert endless list of bitches), Just sort of makes me want to tuck them into the comforts of a nice warm Hotel Room and give them the TV remote control. It's the adult form of Binky and a Blanket.

< Message edited by Whiplashsmile4 -- 2/17/2010 3:20:47 PM >

_____________________________

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RE: Equality In the D/s Lifestyle - 2/17/2010 9:36:36 PM   
CNJDom


Posts: 186
Joined: 6/6/2006
From: Southern NJ
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lorenzo19

Another thread set up a puzzle in My mind. It goes like this:

1. she explored the scene and realized she didn't like the 24/7 lifestyle
2. she enjoys being submissive during sex
3. but not outside of sex because she wants 'equality' at all other times.

This raises many questions in mind. A few here.

If it is Dom/sub in the bedroom... is it Dom/Dom other times? If not, what?
Our style is 24/7 but I always consider My sub equal to Me at all times and so does she. What is equality? (really, not the flip answer)
Is it common in D/s lifestyle to make the sub feel humiliated and inferior? Or is that the exception?
Is the D/s lifestyle inaccurately portrayed as a Superior/inferior lifestyle?

The 24/7 life works well for Us. Not asking for help here with My relationship. I'm just looking for stimulating ideas.

Thanks.


I don't consider the D/s dynamic to be Superior/inferior.  My girl and I like to use a phrase that we are happy with:  "She follows beside me..." I feel this best describes how we view each other.  My girl defers the decisions and daily things generally to me, and putting me in charge sometimes makes things easier (if not interesting).  I don't consider her inferior, and as a matter of fact I feel she can probably do things better and is in better control of her faculties than I am.  This comes from a couple of areas, one of them being respect.  I am big on respect not just for me but how I feel towards others (and especially My girl),. which she gives back to me very reverently. 

We are making our 24/7 transition, but our feelings are already seated for each other and will only grow from here.  I consider it equality between us as I view D/s as being two sides of the same coin.  One side can't be more important than the other.  One side needs the other equally. 

All people are different as far as BDSM is concerned.  So many levels and flavors.  The situation I and my girl have is ours, and what you have or others have are unique to each.  Some don't want the 24/7 D/s or M/s lifestyle.  Some can't have this for various reasons, since there are many hats that we all wear:  Mom, wife, executive, Father, brother, submissive, dominant, what have you....and those hats must also have time made for them and be respected as well.  Some only want to be submissive in bed, some want it every second.  So once you find that compatibility factor matches between two people, then you have that common ground to work from. 


_____________________________

“For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it.”
 ~Ivan Panin

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RE: Equality In the D/s Lifestyle - 2/17/2010 9:38:13 PM   
CNJDom


Posts: 186
Joined: 6/6/2006
From: Southern NJ
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lorenzo19

Another thread set up a puzzle in My mind. It goes like this:

1. she explored the scene and realized she didn't like the 24/7 lifestyle
2. she enjoys being submissive during sex
3. but not outside of sex because she wants 'equality' at all other times.

This raises many questions in mind. A few here.

If it is Dom/sub in the bedroom... is it Dom/Dom other times? If not, what?
Our style is 24/7 but I always consider My sub equal to Me at all times and so does she. What is equality? (really, not the flip answer)
Is it common in D/s lifestyle to make the sub feel humiliated and inferior? Or is that the exception?
Is the D/s lifestyle inaccurately portrayed as a Superior/inferior lifestyle?

The 24/7 life works well for Us. Not asking for help here with My relationship. I'm just looking for stimulating ideas.

Thanks.


I don't consider the D/s dynamic to be Superior/inferior.  My girl and I like to use a phrase that we are happy with:  "She follows beside me..." I feel this best describes how we view each other.  My girl defers the decisions and daily things generally to me, and putting me in charge sometimes makes things easier (if not interesting).  I don't consider her inferior, and as a matter of fact I feel she can probably do things better and is in better control of her faculties than I am.  This comes from a couple of areas, one of them being respect.  I am big on respect not just for me but how I feel towards others (and especially My girl),. which she gives back to me very reverently. 

We are making our 24/7 transition, but our feelings are already seated for each other and will only grow from here.  I consider it equality between us as I view D/s as being two sides of the same coin.  One side can't be more important than the other.  One side needs the other equally. 

All people are different as far as BDSM is concerned.  So many levels and flavors.  The situation I and my girl have is ours, and what you have or others have are unique to each.  Some don't want the 24/7 D/s or M/s lifestyle.  Some can't have this for various reasons, since there are many hats that we all wear:  Mom, wife, executive, Father, brother, submissive, dominant, what have you....and those hats must also have time made for them and be respected as well.  Some only want to be submissive in bed, some want it every second.  So once you find that compatibility factor matches between two people, then you have that common ground to work from. 


_____________________________

“For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it.”
 ~Ivan Panin

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RE: Equality In the D/s Lifestyle - 2/17/2010 10:10:02 PM   
Whiplashsmile4


Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline 		I've not seen much posted regarding M/s, TPE, or otherwise covering relationships involving high levels of D/s the are more encompassing in nature?

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RE: Equality In the D/s Lifestyle - 2/17/2010 10:57:24 PM   
Whiplashsmile4


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Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TopChuck

quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4
What's fucked up, is that some of their vanilla friends/family actually have high levels of D/s running through it, only without the scarey labels applied.


D/s and Vanilla remind me of light and dark.

Light diminishes until it is dark.  Darkness is simply the absence of light.

There are no degrees of darkness, only degrees of light.

Vanilla is simply the absence of D/s.

It is nothing, just as darkness is nothing.



TopChuck, there are many vanilla couples that function with the man being the head of the household and authority figure. Actually ain't too uncommon considering some of the various religious beliefs and practices people have. BDSM does not hold the monopoly game board on D/s, but rather is more like Park Place or Boardwalk on the board itself. In fact when looking at D/s pratices on a world wide basis, it's extremely common in a good number of cultures. If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and sounds like a duck... well it's duck.

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RE: Equality In the D/s Lifestyle - 2/17/2010 11:19:39 PM   
Lorenzo19


Posts: 237
Joined: 2/8/2010
Status: offline 		I was thinking the same thing whiplash. Almost every culture has a form of Male Dominance in it. There are only a few minor exceptions mostly in primitive cultures that I cannot think of so will remain nameless.

The thing about D/s and M/s is that We have intigrated a very high degree of equality for Women, more so than any other culture. And done so without destroying the integrity of the family, without leaving it leaderless. I have seen in this thread so many exampes of equality in relationships, without exception, it almost brings a tear to My eye.

And the Dominant Women in this lifestyle do not subjegate their men either. Women can take leadership roles and lead with probity as well.

It makes Me feel honored to be a part of a culture and associate Myself with people who value womenhood, value their contributions and welcomes them as equals to Men. We are doing something right or maybe even righteous.

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RE: Equality In the D/s Lifestyle - 2/17/2010 11:26:40 PM   
jujubeeMB


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4

Regardless of what the final word is on the matter, all things have been taken into consideration. Ironic, I've actually factored very much the desires/interest of others in this process.

It's a little hard to describe this head space to you, but it's the sure awe of knowing the choice rests or the fate of things rest in your hands. To handle it with care.



I think that sounds great, and you're totally going to make some sub very happy someday. Still can't convince me that you taking my desires into consideration is the same as me having an equal say in the situation. It's not better or worse, it's just not the same. And you're still speaking from the perspective of a smart, magnanimous, empathetic Dom. What about the large number of Doms out there who are mostly concerned with what makes themselves happy, and not all that concerned about the happiness of their subs?

I do get the head space, and I do get how enjoyable it is. It's power, is what it is, and it's trust, and someone you care about literally entrusting their happiness and health to you. It all makes tons of sense to me, and sounds absolutely lovely, but there are things that are just incredibly lovely about decision making. The growth I've gone through in my life by making my own decisions is just heady, and I don't want to miss a second of that.

I'm genuinely sorry for this next part, because it's bragging, but I am very smart, very capable and thoroughly proud of being so. As I said earlier, I have yet to meet someone who came remotely close to knowing better than me what choices I should be making, both on a daily basis and in the wider scope. I thought my first Dom was smarter than me (and in some ways, he was) but after I figured him out (and I did figure him out), his manipulation stopped seeming so brilliant and started seeming like what it was: manipulation. And once I figured out how the manipulation worked, it stopped working. So how would you go about making me think something was my idea when I've already figured out you're doing it? My last Dom was always telling me that the challenge of dominating me was extremely fun, because I'm so smart, but I couldn't help but think that he was missing the point, because he was winning all sorts of battles but was never going to be able to win the war. If I'm sitting there out-thinking someone on a regular basis, how can I possibly trust them to make better decisions than I can?


quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4

jujuBeeMB,
in regards to you spending $800 dollars on a pair of expensive shoes, I would be reminding you how that money could be applied to a trip to Ireland.


Cheating You so didn't answer the actual situation I asked. What if you reminded me how the money could be applied to Ireland, and I said "thanks for the advice, but I've got enough money to pay my way to Ireland AND to buy these shoes, so that's what I'm going to do"?

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RE: Equality In the D/s Lifestyle - 2/17/2010 11:47:12 PM   
jujubeeMB


Posts: 723
Joined: 1/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lorenzo19

quote:

If a reasonable compromise can't be reached, then you should probably get out of the relationship, because one or both of you is a stubborn jerk


the 'can't reach agreement' failure point
Right. so the first time compromise is not reached the relationship is over or at least damaged. The relationship cannot last because the end of the relationship is built into the premise. Failure is gauaranteed. It will only survive by sheer chance.

Failure is built into most relationships. example: fidelity. "If you fuck around! I'll dump you."

I think survival of the family outweighs considerations of who makes the final decisions. But, that's only My priorites. Not saying everyone should do it My way - only Me and My girls.


You're missing the point. If you're in a relationship and you can't reach a compromise, you're not a reasonable adult. Everyone with a trace of maturity and sense knows how to come to a compromise. So therefore if an argument can't be solved, through much discussion, then yes, I think someone is being a tool. Failure is not guaranteed - there's not much likelihood that I'll ever be in a relationship with someone who doesn't know how to talk something out and figure out a decent solution that makes everyone mostly happy. It's a matter of how comfortable you are being wrong, and I'm very comfortable being wrong and admitting it. This makes me capable of having an adult debate that always results in everyone walking away having had their say and being ok with the outcome.

Infidelity I'm not even going to touch except to say that if you think fidelity is dooming a relationship, don't ever date someone who cares about being monogamous. You will piss them off and break their heart "Survival of the family" outweighing individuals is something that I've always disagreed with. A "family" is made up of individuals: those individuals come first, and the world will not explode if a relationship ends so that each person can find someone they would be much, much happier with.

Some of this thread is starting to touch on traditional households: husband, the head of the house, making all the decisions, etc. I don't think that's what D/s is about. I can see the many similarities, but please don't tell me that my submission fits into patriarchy, or I'll have to brainwash the submissive out of myself. You're talking to a major feminist here (hence the desire for equality)

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RE: Equality In the D/s Lifestyle - 2/18/2010 12:29:21 AM   
Whiplashsmile4


Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline 		Oh juujuuBee, Well I see... I would have to enage you with truely equal footing, and would expect for you to keep your end of things up. :-P (girl ain't figured out this Dude been paired with a female Dominant before). Just remember that I'm not submissive, and the moment you try crossing that line, I'll be telling you to "bite my ass".

I'd have to insist that we show off the $800 pair of shoes to freinds and family, let them mind puke over it for awhile. Laugh our asses off. Cross fingers we don't get into a bit of an unforeseen financial jam, if we did we'd be able to put our two heads together and figure something out.

I'll be certain to point out any things I sincerely precieve or honestly view are mistakes in the choices you make. I'll express myself sincerely and not just for the mindless sake of some power trip. You would not be the first girl to ever come back to me and say "You were right" or "why did'nt you stop me" or wonder why you did'nt see what I was trying to point out. Mind you I won't rub it in your face, though I might take small moment to gloat inside that I was dead right. I'm not always right, at times I'm wrong. I'll simply take it like a man when you are telling me "See, I told you so". I'll reflect upon whatever it was that I was wrong about and attempt to figure out the error of my judgement, this way it reduces the likely hood that I will be wrong again.

You might come home and ask me what I think about you spending $800 on a pair of new shoes, I'll ask you a few questions if you can really afford it, once it's established that it won't mess up the household finances. Don't be suprise to hear me say "Well, it sounds like a personal problem, make up your mind one way or another and stop tormenting me with your personal decision"... Oh for Pete's sake will you make up your mind girl and stop pacing the floors and fussing around about it, else I'm gonna spank your ass senseless.

Then come next week, when I'm looking to spend $1200.00 on a new guitar. That will be another story.

So what if we are finding new and interesting ways to cook up Mac and Cheese. Long as the lights are on in the house.

I'm afraid though, that this ain't very too much D/s. It's just two rather smart people on their toes with one another. Neither one wanting to surrender personal control.

There might be moments when we piss each other off, but that would even happen if it were D/s. Can't win for loosing.

Actually, all this would sort of take the burdens of responsbility off my shoulders. Remember if you screw up, I'll be sitting in a chair with a cheesy grin upon my face. Saying "It's not my fault." I'll defer you to the bathroom mirror.

You know after all, everythings always "the Doms fault" or even it's always "the Guys fault", I'll just might be happy to relieve myself from some of this needless blame. If anybody asks, I'll say "hey, I wanted to be in charge but she just won't let me."

I would hope that you would use your smartness to assert yourself when you thought I was going to make a bad mistake. I hate pulling a wiley coyote move and falling off a cliff to only go "Poof" face first into the ground.

I'd have to warn a girl that wants to be on this equal footing, to make certain they have their big girl panties on.

If you had a closet full of $800 pairs of shoes that hardly ever got worn, expect to become the target of truthful sarcasism and wit. Perhaps one day, to find me tossing pairs of shoes out of the closet. I'd be doing a verbal tally of the Money you've spent on all the shoes. You'd see them strewn across the floor and I'd be pointing out that it's the price of a New Car. You might not like me, but you'd gotta love me cause I'd be there trying to make you see the light of day. I'd just might have to nickname you "Princess" for having so many expensive shoes.

I can play by the rules of equal footing engagements, but the question would remain can you?

< Message edited by Whiplashsmile4 -- 2/18/2010 12:31:36 AM >

_____________________________

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RE: Equality In the D/s Lifestyle - 2/18/2010 12:51:33 AM   
jujubeeMB


Posts: 723
Joined: 1/8/2010
Status: offline 		Will it hurt the strength of my argument if I tell you your smartass post just made me feel more submissive?

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RE: Equality In the D/s Lifestyle - 2/18/2010 12:56:08 AM   
Whiplashsmile4


Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB
I do get the head space, and I do get how enjoyable it is. It's power, is what it is, and it's trust, and someone you care about literally entrusting their happiness and health to you. It all makes tons of sense to me, and sounds absolutely lovely, but there are things that are just incredibly lovely about decision making. The growth I've gone through in my life by making my own decisions is just heady, and I don't want to miss a second of that.


Enjoyable is not the word I myself would use to describe it. Because it ain't always enjoyable, in fact it's rather focused without the sensation of being Powerful, but rather having to make some power decisions that carry weight. It's not like I jumped into some Batman suit and pretended to be a Powerful SuperHero or anything like that. At times, things can be very difficult. It ain't always easy. There's this false notion that Doms are lazy and the submissives do all the dirty work, or that all Doms are self centered selfish assholes.

Again, Enjoyable is probally the last word I would use to describe it. In many regards, life would be simpler for me if I did not naturally gravitate towards my own orientation. (dare I admit this). In fact, there are times when I find I need a bit of a break or vacation from it, so I can unwind, recharge and relax.

Just as much as submissives are faced with challenges, so are us Dominant types. Mind you, you don't see a lot of Doms posting on the boards... "Help, I think I need a break". D/s relationships are like any other relationships.

I really can't sincerely say, I enjoy it. Well, enjoy it in the Bedroom play. However, even then I love a good body massage and unwind and love being drawn upon.

I went through Dom burn out at one point in time, don't want to go there ever again. Found myself with the "I don't give a fuck about anything anymore" attitude. I'll walk away and let the world go up in flames. (seriously was not a good place of mind to be in at the time).



_____________________________

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RE: Equality In the D/s Lifestyle - 2/18/2010 1:17:02 AM   
Smutmonger


Posts: 995
Joined: 2/17/2010
Status: offline 		I think that an undeniable but pertinent factor has not been mentioned here. Those of sacrifice and suffering. Almost spiritual-they tell us when work and hardship have been accomplished, or overcome.

Or they can simply point us towards something being terribly wrong. One who cares for the well being of another is as willing to endure them for the sake of the relationship-as those of the other partner.....we now find a sort of balance, leading to harmony.

When only one does so-we are now embarking on a path to chaos.

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RE: Equality In the D/s Lifestyle - 2/18/2010 2:02:04 AM   
Whiplashsmile4


Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB
Will it hurt the strength of my argument if I tell you your smartass post just made me feel more submissive?


Nahhhh.....

_____________________________

Жизнь ума ебет.

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RE: Equality In the D/s Lifestyle - 2/18/2010 2:09:30 AM   
Whiplashsmile4


Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline 		Note to self use less personalization and personal protense when responding to message board posts.

_____________________________

Жизнь ума ебет.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUzJI4Palq0

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RE: Equality In the D/s Lifestyle - 2/18/2010 3:00:34 AM   
Whiplashsmile4


Posts: 2305
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quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB
Will it hurt the strength of my argument if I tell you your smartass post just made me feel more submissive?


Dearest jujubeeMB,

I think I need to come clean with you now, since this is Cyber-Space and all. I know you can't see what I look like but you outta know. I'm just a 500lb fat guy sitting at my PC getting my Jollies off, my man boobs bounce up in down in my tight wife beater t-shirt every time i laugh. I smoke big fat stanky cheap ass cigars and have a roomfull of stray cats. I have'nt thrown away a single empty pizza box for monthes now, in fact I'm surrounded by stacks of them. I live on the 13th floor of an old run down hotel that's been converted into apartments and everbody calls me "Uncle Bob". I like to drink Mad Dog 20/20 and listen to Neil Young and watch old episodes of "Barney Miller" on DVD. I am one of the few people I know who enjoys Bruce Stringteens Nebraska Album. My ashtrays are overflowing like well cindered volcanoes, it's truely a horrific mess when I turn on my fan. I have a live in girl friend named Julie, but she's just blow up doll. I seriously have more issues than Playboy, Penthouse and Hustler combined. I just thought you outta know...

Uncle Bob




< Message edited by Whiplashsmile4 -- 2/18/2010 3:08:32 AM >

_____________________________

Жизнь ума ебет.

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RE: Equality In the D/s Lifestyle - 2/18/2010 11:07:00 AM   
jujubeeMB


Posts: 723
Joined: 1/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4

quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB
Will it hurt the strength of my argument if I tell you your smartass post just made me feel more submissive?


Dearest jujubeeMB,

I think I need to come clean with you now, since this is Cyber-Space and all. I know you can't see what I look like but you outta know. I'm just a 500lb fat guy sitting at my PC getting my Jollies off, my man boobs bounce up in down in my tight wife beater t-shirt every time i laugh. I smoke big fat stanky cheap ass cigars and have a roomfull of stray cats. I have'nt thrown away a single empty pizza box for monthes now, in fact I'm surrounded by stacks of them. I live on the 13th floor of an old run down hotel that's been converted into apartments and everbody calls me "Uncle Bob". I like to drink Mad Dog 20/20 and listen to Neil Young and watch old episodes of "Barney Miller" on DVD. I am one of the few people I know who enjoys Bruce Stringteens Nebraska Album. My ashtrays are overflowing like well cindered volcanoes, it's truely a horrific mess when I turn on my fan. I have a live in girl friend named Julie, but she's just blow up doll. I seriously have more issues than Playboy, Penthouse and Hustler combined. I just thought you outta know...

Uncle Bob



What?!? You liked Bruce Springsteen's Nebraska Album???



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RE: Equality In the D/s Lifestyle - 2/18/2010 2:05:52 PM   
Lorenzo19


Posts: 237
Joined: 2/8/2010
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quote:

please don't tell me that my submission fits into patriarchy, or I'll have to brainwash the submissive out of myself. You're talking to a major feminist here (hence the desire for equality)


I Dont think any one is suggesting a Male Dominated society. I suggest that it should left up to the couple to decide who leads the family - Male or Female.

quote:

"Survival of the family" outweighing individuals is something that I've always disagreed with


That is the crux of the issue. Sacrifice the family for the individual and what does the individual have left to give them strength? the government. a career. friends. church. All of these will sacrifice you for their own good. Only family can and will be there at all times to give strength and support to the individual. but not if you are willing to sacrifice family for your own good. Family has always created strength in society. take away that and Government becomes everyones safety net and you still have no individualism.


(in reply to jujubeeMB)
Profile   Post #: 99
RE: Equality In the D/s Lifestyle - 2/18/2010 5:49:27 PM   
Aynne88


Posts: 3873
Joined: 8/29/2008
Status: offline 		jujubee...this has been an interesting read. Few points. You can be a "major feminist" and still be perfectly happy, content, inspired and fully complete in a male led relationship if that is your choice, feminism=choice. For this one anyway.

You also sound like some of this is well... a game of sorts, trying to outwit and outsmart the Dom kind of thing. Forgive me if I am misreading your posts, that is just the vibe I am getting. I am much more formally educated than my Dom, and....? He is extremely successful, and who has more of a higher education isn't why I defer to him. I could probably spend time figuring out ways to "outsmart" him, but that absolutely defeats the purpose of being his submissive doesn't it?

I noticed some posts back  you referenced that you love submitting in the bedroom generally, and the numerous posts in this thread about demanding equality make me wonder that perhaps you are confusing being submissive with being unequal. Equal but different, perhaps, but when you enter into a D/s or M/s relationship, generally the premise is that as far as final decision and authority, the male leads the relationship. There is nothing wrong with being a bedroom submissive, at all in fact.   

Finding a man to take your well being into his very hands, to weigh each decision carefully, to love and protect you, it's pretty amazing.  To have that same man also have the final say in making decisions is *for me* wonderful because I spend my days as the one in charge, in a male dominated business, so I am so grateful to not have to do that afterhours, and I don't feel ever less than equal. If he is telling me what to make for dinner, or we are deciding on a vacation spot...my opinions are always measured. He ultimately decides though, and that works for me. I told him way back in the beginning the only thing I would not acquiesce on ever was politics, so we don't discuss it. He being a big R and me being a huge leftist.. 

Sorry for rambling, He is having surgery tomorrow and I am stressed, tired and worried. I hope this wasn't taken offensively jujubee, just some thoughts.

_____________________________

As long as people will shed the blood of innocent creatures there can be no peace, no liberty, no harmony between people. Slaughter and justice cannot dwell together.
—Isaac Bashevis Singer, writer and Nobel laureate (1902–1991)



(in reply to jujubeeMB)
Profile   Post #: 100
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