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LadyPact -> RE: A legend returns ... (2/17/2010 7:53:45 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: BLoved
quote:
Are you a Christian? I am not but I still would not, "judge lest ye be judged".
I wrote the following in response to a question like this:
Are you a good judge of character?
Every now and then I see someone saying we shouldn't judge others.
Which of us doesn't judge a liar who deceives us?
Which of us doesn't judge an abuser who abuses us?
Casual players like to believe casual bdsm is completely harmless, unaware of the emotional damage it does over time.
Not until they realize they no longer have the capacity to truly love another, to trust someone so thoroughly as to commit their life to that person do they become aware of the damage they've done to themselves.
In the pursuit of cheap thrills they lose the ability to love.
Healthy BDSM is not a cheap thrill. It is an expression of love and trust in someone who has demonstrated qualities worthy of love and trust. Every thought, every deed is meaningful and only deepens the love and trust shared.
Casual bdsm only attracts those who are afraid of this kind of intimacy. Those who are too emotionally-immature for a healthy, loving relationship. In the no-strings-attached world of casual bdsm they can pretend to be intimate without ever experiencing intimacy.
And thus they reinforce their emotional immaturity.
We each must judge for ourselves what is and is not "abusive". We each must take our stand opposing that which we judge to be abusive.
How else will we know which of us have thought this out, and which of us are here for a cheap thrill?
Well, I guess we'll have this debate right here. I'm a married poly Dominant woman who shares My life with My husband and My collared submissive. In addition, I play casually. My casual S/m play does not interfere with My intimacy with My husband. He is neither submissive, nor a masochist. Truthfully, he is genuinely glad that I have outlets for My sadistic desires to be met. (Especially when it's not at the expense of his own hide.) I do not love him less because we don't engage in BDSM together. In fact, I love him more because he loved Me enough to realize that I am happier expressing My sadism and I am able to do that with others.
Now, don't get Me wrong. I can promise you that I agree with the statement that we are (and should be) judgmental against those who have wronged us in an unethical fashion. Yet, consensual play is not unethical. There are plenty of folks out there who are only interested in topping and bottoming who have no interest in Dominance and submission. Not every activity that two people do together must be in the context of a love based relationship.
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