|
LafayetteLady -> RE: in need of an opinion please.. (2/22/2010 8:00:31 PM)
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: ownedkatt
i would just like to address the love issue first.. a month after we started talking, i asked Him if slaves ever fell in love with their Masters; He said some did, but it was rare, and that it was even more rare for the Master to love the slave in return. about a week later -He- said that He loved me.. personally,, being young, the only other person i had ever loved died a year before from an overdose and i didnt want to tell anyone that i loved them back, regardless of who it was. i still waited another month before i told my Master that i loved Him in return. (i am still getting over the death, and my Master has been helping me wonderfully). i used to tell my Master everyday that i loved Him, but He wouldnt always say it back, so i ended up not saying it for about a week.. He then started worrying and believed that i was going to leave Him because i wasnt saying it. so He started to say it multiple times a day over and over. He has been saying it less and less and now if i say i love Him or i miss Him its either 'I know' or 'ditto'. so im not sure what to make of that...
other people do exsist to me (please, im not trying to argue, i would just like to point this out as well). many guys have asked me out since i have been with my Master and most of the time, if i know the person well enough, i will explain to them that i am in a M/s relationship. most of the time they will understand, others wont give up, and yet others will try and stop out relationship. i realize that if i left Him, i could have my pick of guys, but i dont want that. i would like my Master and i to be able to sort out our problems. but i dont know how to go about that without causing a problem because im asking Him questions. He feels as though i should know the answers already.
im just looking for guidance, and as i keep saying, thank you to all who are trying to help, but i really would like to thank MasterSlaveLA because you have really been even through out your comments and giving the actual help and guidance that i need.
First, anyone who tells you that something "rarely," "never," or "always" is the way relationships work is showing you how young and inexperienced they are. Why? Because there is really nothing "normal," only normal for those two people involved. For example, many people believe that Saturday is "date night" in the "vanilla" dating world. But does that mean that a couple *has* to see each other on Saturdays? Of course not.
The problem in your situation is that being you are both only 18, neither one of you has experience to really speak of as adults. It's impossible because y'all haven't actually BEEN adults for long. Part of this is evidenced by him telling you that a "master" *rarely* falls in love with his slave and then a week later is telling you that he does. Kind of a contradiction, don't you think? On one hand, many could see this as a "head game" where he is telling you this so you think you have that "rarity" he spoke of. I think it is more that even though he said that, being pretty much still a kid, he forgot about that and told you how he was feeling. Nothing wrong with that. And there is nothing wrong with you waiting to tell him that you loved him until you felt more sure. It takes some guts to not instantly say it back and have the courage to wait until you are ready when you are hearing it. But again, the youth of you and him comes out when he thinks because you aren't saying it, it means you are going to leave. That will only change as you both grow up.
The other problem is that neither of you are psychic. He expects you (in a rather short period of time) to be able to know what he wants and what he is thinking at all times. I have been with my boyfriend for 14 years and I know him VERY well, but I can't always know what he wants or what he is thinking anymore than he can know it about me. Again, it is the immaturity speaking when he says and thinks that and it is something that needs to get sorted out.
The whole Dissociative Personality Disorder "claim" (because I don't honestly believe he suffers from it) is something else entirely. This is more a matter of having an excuse for certain behavior, because he can blame an "other."
Right now, you need to take a step back and evaluate the situation. You need to make clear to him that before anything can more forward or even stay the same, the two of you need to sit and have a serious discussion about your expectations of a life with each other. You need to be very clear with him that NOTHING will be happening until that is done.
Good luck.
|
|
|
|
