Financial domination

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Financial domination

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Financial domination

Page: [1] 2 3 4 next > >>

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Financial domination - 2/20/2010 2:26:03 PM

MsLeatherLace69

Posts: 94
Joined: 2/14/2010
Status: offline

I read a few entries in another thread about financial domination. How do you feel about financial domination by Dom/mes? Is it a valid part of the lifestyle?

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: Financial domination - 2/20/2010 3:08:51 PM

tnpainslut

Posts: 21
Joined: 2/18/2010
Status: offline

Financial domination is nothing but abuse in my opinion. And in the opinion of many states laws.

(in reply to MsLeatherLace69)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: Financial domination - 2/20/2010 3:33:38 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

This is a topic that often causes shit storms... put on your best raincoat...

I am a fem sub, we usually do not have to pay to be dominated, so I do not have a strong opinion...

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to MsLeatherLace69)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: Financial domination - 2/20/2010 3:34:59 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

Financial domination, like just about everything else in this lifestyle, has the potential to be abusive. However, I don't have a problem with it. I take issue with people who abuse it to hurt others but there clearly a real desire for it on the part of male subs otherwise female dommes and scam artists wouldn't be able to do it. So... live and let live. Provided they are not pissing rent money away or depriving their family of things, it's their business and their money. Let them do what they want with it.

quote:

Financial domination is nothing but abuse in my opinion. And in the opinion of many states laws.

Please site your source regarding how it is illegal. It is perfectly legal to give someone your money and to give them control over your money.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to MsLeatherLace69)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: Financial domination - 2/20/2010 3:50:19 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

Financial domination is nothing but abuse in my opinion. And in the opinion of many states laws.

Please site your source regarding how it is illegal. It is perfectly legal to give someone your money and to give them control over your money.

I think there is a perception that this is somehow prostitution... it isn't...

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: Financial domination - 2/20/2010 4:00:17 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

How could it even be considered prostitution? Whenever I'd heard of financial domination, it wasn't pro domming as in you are a paying for a scene. You are handing over money in tribute or in exchange for the person telling what you to do. Which isn't illegal in the slightest - there are plenty of people who make their living telling others what to do in their lives and their money. Professional organizers, therapists, accountents, bankers, etc.

Calling one "ma'am" doesn't the change basics of the dynamic. The person can't actually make you do anyting, you do it because you want to and you can break it off at any time.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 2/20/2010 4:01:25 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: Financial domination - 2/20/2010 4:06:44 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

I guess I could use some financial domination... eerrr I mean financial adviser

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: Financial domination - 2/20/2010 4:07:31 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

Me too actually.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: Financial domination - 2/20/2010 5:31:07 PM

TreasureKY

Posts: 3032
Joined: 4/10/2007
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

Hmmm... I gave up my career to serve Firm. I work for him in his business now. I don't receive pay for my services. He tells me how to spend the money and holds me accountable for where it goes...

Dang! I'm financially dominated and I never even realized it!

(in reply to MsLeatherLace69)

Profile

Post #: 9

RE: Financial domination - 2/21/2010 2:41:49 AM

specialk2611

Posts: 36
Joined: 12/13/2009
Status: offline

I think a good financial domination dynamic is more about control than give, give, give. If a submissive has 200 dollars saved, it is up to the Dominant to decide how to spend it. I can see this being appealing to a broader range of people and it probably happens without it being called that term.

I do run away whenever I read the a Domme is specifically interested in tribute or financial domination, but that's just me.

(in reply to TreasureKY)

Profile

Post #: 10

RE: Financial domination - 2/21/2010 6:42:22 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: specialk2611

I think a good financial domination dynamic is more about control than give, give, give. If a submissive has 200 dollars saved, it is up to the Dominant to decide how to spend it. I can see this being appealing to a broader range of people and it probably happens without it being called that term.

I do run away whenever I read the a Domme is specifically interested in tribute or financial domination, but that's just me.

That could be one example....

Or the dominant could decide that his pet would feel more controlled if he limited her access to her own cash. In other words, he doesn't spend the money necessarily, but she isn't allowed to either... not without expressed permission...

Lots of vanillas do this too

(in reply to specialk2611)

Profile

Post #: 11

RE: Financial domination - 2/21/2010 6:53:59 AM

slavekal

Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline

Handing my pay over to a Mistress could not possibly be any worse that the way I have already mismanaged my finances.

_____________________________

"The Courage to Submit: the submissive male's guide to finding a dominant woman"
http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/the-courage-to-submit-the-guide-for-the-submissive-male-seeking-a-dominant-woman/5968917

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Profile

Post #: 12

RE: Financial domination - 2/21/2010 7:05:56 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

I always laugh at the emotional melodrama that ends up on these sorts of threads. I know many many couples in which one partner, often times the woman, is in charge of the families finances. None of those couples has a defined power exchange dynamic as far as I know.

For me personally, it will always depends upon the individual dynamic. If a woman comes into my life, becomes trusted and important enough to be a part of my household and the relationship is a M/s TPE, then yes I will consider her finances mine to control. Does that mean I am going to take every penny and spend it on frivolous purchases.....NO! No more than I would my own paycheck. It would be used the same way I use mine......living expenses, medical insurance, retirement planning, etc... If indeed this woman is a professional money manager, it would be very likely I would utilize her talents in managing her money and my own.

I never understand why this topic is such an emotional one. People willingly put their physical well being, often that of those they love, at risk with a person but to consider handing over money and they freak out.

To me, Total Power Exchange means TOTAL.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to slavekal)

Profile

Post #: 13

RE: Financial domination - 2/21/2010 9:07:33 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavekal

Handing my pay over to a Mistress could not possibly be any worse that the way I have already mismanaged my finances.

Sure it could. It's worse, ehen someone you trust is irresponsible with your money and you have no say in it. Just because they're a "D" type doesn't mean they are good with the finances.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to slavekal)

Profile

Post #: 14

RE: Financial domination - 2/21/2010 7:50:43 PM

petmonkey

Posts: 1053
Joined: 7/7/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavekal

Handing my pay over to a Mistress could not possibly be any worse that the way I have already mismanaged my finances.

Perhaps for people, the fear of financial domination comes from a place of lack of deep understanding of financial wisdom? A person who has difficulty managing their finances may not be able to conceive others being grounded in such matters.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse:
Does that mean I am going to take every penny and spend it on frivolous purchases.....NO! No more than I would my own paycheck. It would be used the same way I use mine......living expenses, medical insurance, retirement planning,

Even if they may know this on a theoretical level, their own inability to be able to do this in a practical way causes mistrust of the other person's impulse controls, even when they might trust a person on so many other levels.

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
When someone you trust is irresponsible with your money and you have no say in it. Just because they're a "D" type doesn't mean they are good with the finances.

Just because they're a D-type in other areas, doesn't mean they will be good with your finances. It's possible that people are fearful of this arrangement because they see normally in control people in the general population act in deeply selfish ways with other people's cash-ola, see them act not in another persons best interest but in their own.

Money can make people crazy. i don't know about other countries, but it seems in the USA that people tend to mistrust "money" itself, let alone the owner of said cash.

i can see financial domination as a relevant and healthy aspect to a dynamic. i could use someone to "force" me to allocate more money into my IRA per month myself.

i can also see the slippery-slope thinking that some people are frightened by; going from point A: Your paycheck gets automatically deposited in Your Dom/mes personal account to crazy-thinking point Z: Your standing on a street corner without shoes or a quarter for the payphone to tell anyone you want "out". Maybe it has to do with people not trusting their gut about a person, ultimately or knowing their gut instinct is slightly broken. For whatever reason, they see their money as their ability to have final say of whether they participate in the relationship or not.
For the Nervous Nelly, i'm guessing the key would be a clear understanding of what's going to go-down in the arrangement, as well as assurances, proof, that this is what is actually happening over time. For those of you conducting financial arrangements, do you/did you do this? did it help to build trust? Or did you even need that?

ETA: an "of"

< Message edited by petmonkey -- 2/21/2010 7:51:42 PM >

_____________________________

Be excellent to each other.

(in reply to slavekal)

Profile

Post #: 15

RE: Financial domination - 2/22/2010 5:33:47 AM

specialk2611

Posts: 36
Joined: 12/13/2009
Status: offline

I agree that this occurs more than just people who say 'I like financial domination', both in vanilla and d/s relationships.

There's a bank tv advertisement in Australia, where a guy goes to a school and asks a kid 'Do you have a girlfriend', kid shakes head, 'That's why you have more money than me'!

(in reply to petmonkey)

Profile

Post #: 16

RE: Financial domination - 2/22/2010 8:55:58 AM

choccywoc

Posts: 1919
Joined: 9/7/2009
Status: offline

You give me money, i do nothing in return, that's my kinda job.

(in reply to specialk2611)

Profile

Post #: 17

RE: Financial domination - 2/22/2010 11:36:49 AM

Kaiel

Posts: 748
Joined: 4/17/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

I always laugh at the emotional melodrama that ends up on these sorts of threads. I know many many couples in which one partner, often times the woman, is in charge of the families finances. None of those couples has a defined power exchange dynamic as far as I know.

For me personally, it will always depends upon the individual dynamic. If a woman comes into my life, becomes trusted and important enough to be a part of my household and the relationship is a M/s TPE, then yes I will consider her finances mine to control. Does that mean I am going to take every penny and spend it on frivolous purchases.....NO! No more than I would my own paycheck. It would be used the same way I use mine......living expenses, medical insurance, retirement planning, etc... If indeed this woman is a professional money manager, it would be very likely I would utilize her talents in managing her money and my own.

I never understand why this topic is such an emotional one. People willingly put their physical well being, often that of those they love, at risk with a person but to consider handing over money and they freak out.

To me, Total Power Exchange means TOTAL.

I could not have said this any better!

_____________________________

I keep My expectations and thread counts high- "catitude"

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Profile

Post #: 18

RE: Financial domination - 2/22/2010 4:25:41 PM

MsLeatherLace69

Posts: 94
Joined: 2/14/2010
Status: offline

Thanks everyone for your participation. We may have muddied the waters more than cleared them.

I think in an M/s TPE that assets are transferred as is all other authority. I would use money and assets for the benefit of the family.

(in reply to Kaiel)

Profile

Post #: 19

RE: Financial domination - 2/22/2010 4:46:25 PM

dreamerdreaming

Posts: 2839
Status: offline

It is actually a kink for some malesubs. So for those that wanna be involved in it, I say: whatever floats your boat!

The key is compatibility, as always. When goals, needs and desires mesh well between partners, then mutual pleasure, fulfillment and self-actualization are possible.

Edited to add: SAINTS, baby yeah!

< Message edited by dreamerdreaming -- 2/22/2010 4:48:07 PM >

_____________________________

Download SLAVE LOVER. Explicit BDSM porn, with a plot! A love story, on a FemDom planet! http://www.amazon.com/Slave-Lover-Chronicles-Book-ebook/dp/B0031ERBLI/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1261973416&sr=1

(in reply to MsLeatherLace69)

Profile

Post #: 20