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petmonkey -> RE: Financial domination (2/21/2010 7:50:43 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: slavekal
Handing my pay over to a Mistress could not possibly be any worse that the way I have already mismanaged my finances.
Perhaps for people, the fear of financial domination comes from a place of lack of deep understanding of financial wisdom? A person who has difficulty managing their finances may not be able to conceive others being grounded in such matters.
quote:
ORIGINAL: LaTigresse:
Does that mean I am going to take every penny and spend it on frivolous purchases.....NO! No more than I would my own paycheck. It would be used the same way I use mine......living expenses, medical insurance, retirement planning,
Even if they may know this on a theoretical level, their own inability to be able to do this in a practical way causes mistrust of the other person's impulse controls, even when they might trust a person on so many other levels.
quote:
ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
When someone you trust is irresponsible with your money and you have no say in it. Just because they're a "D" type doesn't mean they are good with the finances.
Just because they're a D-type in other areas, doesn't mean they will be good with your finances. It's possible that people are fearful of this arrangement because they see normally in control people in the general population act in deeply selfish ways with other people's cash-ola, see them act not in another persons best interest but in their own.
Money can make people crazy. i don't know about other countries, but it seems in the USA that people tend to mistrust "money" itself, let alone the owner of said cash.
i can see financial domination as a relevant and healthy aspect to a dynamic. i could use someone to "force" me to allocate more money into my IRA per month myself.[:D]
i can also see the slippery-slope thinking that some people are frightened by; going from point A: Your paycheck gets automatically deposited in Your Dom/mes personal account to crazy-thinking point Z: Your standing on a street corner without shoes or a quarter for the payphone to tell anyone you want "out". Maybe it has to do with people not trusting their gut about a person, ultimately or knowing their gut instinct is slightly broken. For whatever reason, they see their money as their ability to have final say of whether they participate in the relationship or not.
For the Nervous Nelly, i'm guessing the key would be a clear understanding of what's going to go-down in the arrangement, as well as assurances, proof, that this is what is actually happening over time. For those of you conducting financial arrangements, do you/did you do this? did it help to build trust? Or did you even need that?
ETA: an "of"
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