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HandcuffBarbie -> RE: getting through rough patches with self-esteem intact (2/23/2010 6:43:41 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady
Let's get real here. The word "seem" does not completely change the meaning of a sentence. You can't "seem" to get anything right and you "seem" to be getting on his nerves. Is you getting on his nerves your imagination? Obviously, he is saying or doing something that makes you think you are getting on his nerves.
I agree that your self esteem is low, and likely not caused by him. However, it also isn't being improved by him either. After speaking with him you believe you are administering the enemas wrong. Really not all that many ways to do it. Based on what YOU say is your normal bodily function, if you believe him (after all, since he is "master" he knows all), you will never successfully do it right.
Look, self esteem is a personal issue, but others can "assist" in lowering it. Honestly, you keep saying how this is YOUR problem, and you would like others' advice on how to get through it. You don't like the answers you get, you didn't like the answers you got on the enema thread either (incidentally, there also we told you your "master" needed some basic anatomy education). Yet, you say you are getting on his nerves, then defending him saying it's because he has a stressful life. Apparently, his stress is more important than yours.
It is HIS reaction to the things you are doing that is having an adverse effect on your self esteem. If it is only YOUR perception, it doesn't matter what anyone here says, because we can't fix your self esteem. But if HIS reactions (you getting on his nerves) makes you feel like you can't do anything right, you really should be expressing this to him. If he was as supportive of you as you say he is, you would be able to do that. Apparently, you can't. Pedicures don't increase self esteem. Neither does a new sexy dress or anything else. You can continue to believe this is all about YOU, but when in a relationship, nothing is all about one person, not even in an M/s situation.
ETA: You don't need to put us all on "ignore." There is nifty thing on the other side called "email." You don't want to hear anything that doesn't support what you "think" is the cause, then email the people who give you the answers you want. Otherwise, grow up, put on your big girl panties and deal with it.
LafayetteLady, I appreciate many of your posts on collarme, but you are reading much more drama and crisis into my posts than is there.
The "seem" is important to me because it keeps the blame on me, which is where it belongs. He has not said I'm getting on his nerves. That's why I say it's a ME issue, not a HIM issue. He's not doing anything but acting stressed out about some things going on that have nothing to do with me. I don't have low self-esteem in general, which is why I characterized this as a phase. Actually, I feel a lot better now than I did when I posted the OP. I think having a few people suggest self-care and just not thinking about things for a few hours helped immensely. Of course a pedicure or new dress won't fix low self-esteem; like I said, I don't have low self-esteem in general. This is a phase. I'm not stupid enough to think a bunch of strangers can fix my self-esteem or a pedicure can. Give me some credit, please.
You are making some mighty broad assumptions about my relationship. You'll just have to trust me that there was something I did wrong with the enemas that he pointed out to me that no one on the thread mentioned. I did appreciate many of the responses on that thread. I'm not sure why you would say I didn't like that advice. Is it because I didn't post something specifically saying I liked the advice? Well, I'm sorry about that. My bad, but actually, I have had much bigger things going on in my life the last week that demanded my attention.
On this thread, I don't like the answers that infer all sorts of details that are inaccurate. I love the answers I've gotten that have taken my post at face value--that I'm having a "low self-esteem day" (kind of like a bad hair day) that will pass and I simply wanted some ideas for how to make it pass more quickly.
You don't know anything about me or my life beyond what you've read in a few posts here. You'll just have to trust me that what he is dealing with is more legitimately stressful than my minor self-esteem hiccup. I'm not saying his stress is more important than mine; I'm saying his is more significant--that is, the specific stressful things he is dealing with have more potential to permanently impact his life than mine at this point. There have been times when I've had more "important" stresses in my life and he has taken care of me and put his stresses on the back burner. It's not a contest; I have a sense of perspective and can judge when my stressful things are more or less "important" than his.
I feel like you really want to read some kind of sickness or emotional abuse into my relationship. I'm sorry to disappoint you, but it's not there. We're just a Master/slave couple dealing with some stress and I'm feeling a bit insecure at the moment. When I feel insecure, I sometimes reach out to others for support. In my world, that's normal, not a sign of crisis.
I appreciate that you are so articulate and passionate, and I believe you are trying to be helpful to me. Thank you.
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