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Smutmonger -> RE: getting through rough patches with self-esteem intact (2/24/2010 8:54:57 AM)
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Trying to manage the emotional state of your Dominant is one of the biggest mistakes I see subs and slaves making.
You simply cannot be responsible for how another individual thinks and feels-it's manipulative to try this. And Most Dominants tend to be extremely perceptive and intelligent individuals. They realize what is happening,and it's going to trigger resentment when they really need to just be left alone.
Because it does not come across as caring and altruistic-it comes across as "Pay me the attention I am entitled to,do it now."
And no one is.
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ORIGINAL: starshineowned
quote:
What do you do to keep your self-esteem up when you go through stretches like this?
Greetings..
The first thing I do is run a self check to make sure I'm doing what I know I should be, and how he prefers. If that is in order then I just continue on as normal until he says or changes something or cares to share whats on his mind. I started out with those feelings of having done something wrong or not doing enough, and went through the pity parties but Master put things in simple order pretty quick. If I've done something that he doesn't like or wants changed..he'll tell me. If I am still here..I'm doing good. He doesn't expect me to come all emotional and supportive to his rescue (as if in showing how caring I am) because ultimately it is nothing more than "me" trying to take over the whole situation of things and direct and push him so that "I" (saviour of the world) can fix all his troubles, get a shiny gold star, and feel some sort of self importance where no need for such is even warranted.
I figured out for myself after awhile that one of the hardest things to do as a slave ..is to do nothing. Wierdness
Good luck in working through it
starshine
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