RE: Doormats

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Icarys -> RE: Doormats (3/3/2010 10:15:40 AM)
It wouldn't make a difference. Some would say cool while others would pick out reasons she couldn't be and yet others would condemn her for it while some would want her to seek help for her self esteem issues lol. There may be some others I've missed :>

osf -> RE: Doormats (3/3/2010 11:02:55 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Icarys It wouldn't make a difference. Some would say cool while others would pick out reasons she couldn't be and yet others would condemn her for it while some would want her to seek help for her self esteem issues lol. There may be some others I've missed :> How about she couldn't possibly know because she's a woman?

wisdomtogive -> RE: Doormats (3/3/2010 12:06:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: osf quote: ORIGINAL: Icarys It wouldn't make a difference. Some would say cool while others would pick out reasons she couldn't be and yet others would condemn her for it while some would want her to seek help for her self esteem issues lol. There may be some others I've missed :> How about she couldn't possibly know because she's a woman? This must be my day of learning. I learned a new word here on Cm and now I have learned there are still guys that still make comments like that.

osf -> RE: Doormats (3/3/2010 6:19:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: wisdomtogive quote: ORIGINAL: osf quote: ORIGINAL: Icarys It wouldn't make a difference. Some would say cool while others would pick out reasons she couldn't be and yet others would condemn her for it while some would want her to seek help for her self esteem issues lol. There may be some others I've missed :> How about she couldn't possibly know because she's a woman? This must be my day of learning. I learned a new word here on Cm and now I have learned there are still guys that still make comments like that. you didn't know that? you lead a sheltered life

wisdomtogive -> RE: Doormats (3/3/2010 6:29:49 PM)
Osf, yes I most likely do live a shelter life, which is good. Though I do know a lot of men as friends, who would not make remarks similiar to the one you did. So, in my shelter life, I have met some wonderful people:) All is blessed in our worlds wisdom

osf -> RE: Doormats (3/3/2010 7:47:17 PM)
it would be nice if people paid as much attention to all the serious stuff i say as the do to the non serious lol

Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: Doormats (3/4/2010 5:30:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Icarys It wouldn't make a difference. Some would say cool while others would pick out reasons she couldn't be and yet others would condemn her for it while some would want her to seek help for her self esteem issues lol. There may be some others I've missed :> That's not as near as taboo or controversial, if looking at the motivation aspects, nor when taking the application/context use of the doormat word, as it was injtected by TazzyGirl and looking at it from the other side of the coin. Even more so given the that somebody posted their own 3 step rule to how to Dom on another thread. Perhaps this is Challenging anybody to perhaps to see things from a different angle and in a different light, almost Taboo. Perhaps, it's not orientations but rather motivations based upon fears, needs and desires that are the true under pinnings for topics such as this. I'm afraid that I'm rather in the deep end of the swimming pool, while some people are still staring at their own reflections on the surface. I forget who it was that brought "Motivation" into question on this thread, but truely their assertion of it, truely priceless. For this would affect, the different flavors of D/s, from either side of the coin. It's actually a rather simple or primevil notion, but it's certainly not something one would see upon the surface. This thread, was an excerise in bringing the negative views and reasons concerning why something has negative connonations, and what the traits are in association with that. Clealy there are things that seperate the postives from the negatives, it appears to be within the scope and bounds of motivation. How this affects the well being of a person. While everybody can determine what such a label is or not for them personally, how is does or does not reflect upon themselves. While we me also acknowledge the differences it personally reflects for other people. Still underneath the reflections or surface, this topic is a little deeper than meets the eye. If it were not, it would not be so controversial as it is. It all depends upon the persons own state of well being, and if the word defines what that is or is not. Something that is missing from the Dictonaries. Dictonaries are indeed somewhat limited and not completely authoritive. If they were, there would be no sub-sets of Terminology developed or used for a given Genre of things. Such as the Computer or IT fields, or Law, or Medicine, or specific research on a given Domain of information. Dictionaries are general Domain use, and there is a lot more that should supplement the meaning of words. Given the cultural conditions and meaning going on within a given time period. Hence for more detail context and consideration for how it's applied. Encyclopedias on the otherhand, have always provided more detail context regarding how a word is applied and used. Dictionaries at times fail us, encyclopedias on the other had add clarity. Such as when exploring the meaning of Slave. Where ironic the Dicionary when applied to this thread, FAILED!! between historic Slavery and BDSM slavery. LOL.. go figure.

Icarys -> RE: Doormats (3/4/2010 10:16:21 AM)
quote: I'm afraid that I'm rather in the deep end of the swimming pool, while some people are still staring at their own reflections on the surface. Don't want to jump to any conclusions here but that sure does sound a little like self-inflating.

Mercnbeth -> RE: Doormats (3/4/2010 10:39:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: osf Why don't we ask the doormat concerned if she considers herself a doormat? Wouldn't work; isn't if obvious this topic is used for people to define what they are not? In 25 pages and 547 responses; the bulk of the posts are not pointed to gaining perspective or understanding anything. People, many whose 'lifestyle' experience is limited to keystrokes, want to debate semantics. Successful, confident people, whether in a relationship or not, don't require semantic agreement on terms they use to identify themselves or are used to label them. The "deep topic" here isn't defining 'doormat' in a lifestyle context; its defining life. No 'community' agreement is possible because there is no common life experience. quote: ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4 while some people are still staring at their own reflections on the surface. Funny, I see the problem completely different. It's the egocentric seeing other reflections and believing that it is representative.

Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: Doormats (3/4/2010 10:57:21 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Icarys quote: I'm afraid that I'm rather in the deep end of the swimming pool, while some people are still staring at their own reflections on the surface. Don't want to jump to any conclusions here but that sure does sound a little like self-inflating. Actually was rather self deflating in many respects, to see past my own reflections of the word. Yes, some people still are staring at their own reflections. (not unless you think I'm referring to somebody that actually is not). If I had held onto my own self reflections to what the word meant, I would have just 9-11'd it into the ground with diving into areas a little deeper. I'm just expressing a difference between giving something deeper thought as opposed to not. I tend to think people will formulate a much stronger view/opinion regarding a topic such as this when so challenged. Regardless of what stance they take, if anything it's provoked and challenge things some. A little interesting to see Lally2 tossing out some great advice to somebody regarding updating their profile to be more postive. Where she is in touch with depth of the swimming pool. :-) The question, could be debated would she have gave out such advice without being in the depths of the pool. Her advice seemed to cover a lot of depth. Regardless if anybody thinks it was good or bad advice. It was advice with some form of substance behind it. Not some one line burb that was based upon her own reflections of what the word means. Personally osf, would be the gosling in the shallow waters here! Actually thought that would be almost the given considering the posts he just made. So Yeah! if you want me to spell it out regarding somebody, I would considered still in the shallow end of things. Bleh!!

Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: Doormats (3/4/2010 11:04:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth quote: quote: ORIGINAL: osf Why don't we ask the doormat concerned if she considers herself a doormat? Wouldn't work; isn't if obvious this topic is used for people to define what they are not? In 25 pages and 547 responses; the bulk of the posts are not pointed to gaining perspective or understanding anything. People, many whose 'lifestyle' experience is limited to keystrokes, want to debate semantics. Successful, confident people, whether in a relationship or not, don't require semantic agreement on terms they use to identify themselves or are used to label them. The "deep topic" here isn't defining 'doormat' in a lifestyle context; its defining life. No 'community' agreement is possible because there is no common life experience. quote: ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4 while some people are still staring at their own reflections on the surface. Funny, I see the problem completely different. It's the egocentric seeing other reflections and believing that it is representative. Merc&Beth, I want you to know I totally understand where you are coming from. However, the OP of this thread was focused towards the Negative Reasons and views, along with traits, as opposed to asking for the positive reasons and views, along with traits. The general question to consider.... Do more people see Doormat as being a Negative as opposed to a postive thing in life? This is one of general overall reflection in a group of people, be it egocentric or not in nature.

Icarys -> RE: Doormats (3/4/2010 11:13:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4 quote: ORIGINAL: Icarys quote: I'm afraid that I'm rather in the deep end of the swimming pool, while some people are still staring at their own reflections on the surface. Don't want to jump to any conclusions here but that sure does sound a little like self-inflating. Actually was rather self deflating in many respects, to see past my own reflections of the word. Yes, some people still are staring at their own reflections. (not unless you think I'm referring to somebody that actually is not). If I had held onto my own self reflections to what the word meant, I would have just 9-11'd it into the ground with diving into areas a little deeper. I'm just expressing a difference between giving something deeper thought as opposed to not. I tend to think people will formulate a much stronger view/opinion regarding a topic such as this when so challenged. Regardless of what stance they take, if anything it's provoked and challenge things some. A little interesting to see Lally2 tossing out some great advice to somebody regarding updating their profile to be more postive. Where she is in touch with depth of the swimming pool. :-) The question, could be debated would she have gave out such advice without being in the depths of the pool. Her advice seemed to cover a lot of depth. Regardless if anybody thinks it was good or bad advice. It was advice with some form of substance behind it. Not some one line burb that was based upon her own reflections of what the word means. Personally osf, would be the gosling in the shallow waters here! Actually thought that would be almost the given considering the posts he just made. So Yeah! if you want me to spell it out regarding somebody, I would considered still in the shallow end of things. Bleh!! Kinda what I'm getting at here is that you believe that you are the compass of which shallow and deep are defined. It seems to seep out of everything you've presented lately. Yes you've stated there are two sides all the while though you have been pushing the negatives. There definitely are some negative possibilities but the people out in the world that reflect that are farther and few between than what people seem to be saying. If anything I believe it's the opposite in this world and that's why I cherish the positives in a female when I find them to be so. It's like being given a glass of icewater each day of a record setting heatwave of a year. If a person wants to give of themselves to that extent and are happy for it who are any of us to judge differently. I've got work to do..bbl

Mercnbeth -> RE: Doormats (3/4/2010 11:15:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4 This is one of general overall reflection in a group of people, be it egocentric or not in nature. I must have missed the agreement on "a general overall reflection". Was it the conclusion reached from the same people who agreed on what is pornographic? The same process has been employed. A naked guy displayed on a cross by Robert Mapplethorpe - pornographic! One done by Michaelangelo as a fresco in the Vatican - 'Masterpiece'! Supporting the group you identify and condemning the other isn't concluding or determining as fact. Remember only one person with a voice disclosed that the 'king' wasn't wearing any clothes. The "reflection in a group of people" is no less egocentric than one person.

Icarys -> RE: Doormats (3/4/2010 11:23:03 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth quote: ORIGINAL: osf Why don't we ask the doormat concerned if she considers herself a doormat? Wouldn't work; isn't if obvious this topic is used for people to define what they are not? In 25 pages and 547 responses; the bulk of the posts are not pointed to gaining perspective or understanding anything. People, many whose 'lifestyle' experience is limited to keystrokes, want to debate semantics. Successful, confident people, whether in a relationship or not, don't require semantic agreement on terms they use to identify themselves or are used to label them. The "deep topic" here isn't defining 'doormat' in a lifestyle context; its defining life. No 'community' agreement is possible because there is no common life experience. quote: ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4 while some people are still staring at their own reflections on the surface. Funny, I see the problem completely different. It's the egocentric seeing other reflections and believing that it is representative. Not sure who your talking to here but I don't think you are any better of a judge of who has experience and who doesn't from your position from a keyboard. I admit this is truly an exercise in futility at times if your goal is to convince someone of anything if they choose to see only what they want to see..

Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: Doormats (3/4/2010 11:25:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth quote: ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4 This is one of general overall reflection in a group of people, be it egocentric or not in nature. I must have missed the agreement on "a general overall reflection". Was it the conclusion reached from the same people who agreed on what is pornographic? The same process has been employed. A naked guys displayed on a cross by Robert Mapplethorpe - pornographic! One done by Michaelangelo as a fresco in the Vatican - 'Masterpiece'! Supporting the group you identify and condemning the other isn't concluding or determining as fact. Remember only one person with a voice disclosed that the 'king' wasn't wearing any clothes. The "reflection in a group of people" is no less egocentric than one person. I totally agree, that the reflection is no less egocentric save in volume or mass perhaps. Hell, groups of people have oftened done a lot to violate individual freedoms and rights and promote discrimination. Ahh.. nudity in the Vatican. :-) Good example of a group egocentricity.. LOL...

Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: Doormats (3/4/2010 11:41:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth quote: ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4 This is one of general overall reflection in a group of people, be it egocentric or not in nature. I must have missed the agreement on "a general overall reflection". Was it the conclusion reached from the same people who agreed on what is pornographic? The same process has been employed. A naked guy displayed on a cross by Robert Mapplethorpe - pornographic! One done by Michaelangelo as a fresco in the Vatican - 'Masterpiece'! Supporting the group you identify and condemning the other isn't concluding or determining as fact. Remember only one person with a voice disclosed that the 'king' wasn't wearing any clothes. The "reflection in a group of people" is no less egocentric than one person. In terms of "king", it can be somewhat established though the use of google and looking at other things various forms of media, that it leans more towards the negative compared to the postive. This I personaly, have Zero control over, however it's an obersvation of what is there. Mind you there are some postives in the sea of negatives to be found. If for instance you type in "Doormat" and exclude the physical ones, and proceed to mark off (postive/negative). Perhaps if you type in "Doormat human" or some other critia to filter out physical doormats, and proceed to tally the results in postive/negative context. This have nothing to do with me personally, nor anybody else on here. Then again, there's this concept of content being "King" on the internet, but that's applied to Search Engine Ranking. You will find some thing that people have wrote in regards to the positive side of Doormats too. :-) Those articles do exist. I myself found some while doing my own searches.

Icarys -> RE: Doormats (3/4/2010 11:46:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4 quote: ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth quote: ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4 This is one of general overall reflection in a group of people, be it egocentric or not in nature. I must have missed the agreement on "a general overall reflection". Was it the conclusion reached from the same people who agreed on what is pornographic? The same process has been employed. A naked guy displayed on a cross by Robert Mapplethorpe - pornographic! One done by Michaelangelo as a fresco in the Vatican - 'Masterpiece'! Supporting the group you identify and condemning the other isn't concluding or determining as fact. Remember only one person with a voice disclosed that the 'king' wasn't wearing any clothes. The "reflection in a group of people" is no less egocentric than one person. In terms of "king", it can be somewhat established though the use of google and looking at other things various forms of media, that it leans more towards the negative compared to the postive. This I personaly, have Zero control over, however it's an obersvation of what is there. Mind you there are some postives in the sea of negatives to be found. If for instance you type in "Doormat" and exclude the physical ones, and proceed to mark off (postive/negative). Perhaps if you type in "Doormat human" or some other critia to filter out physical doormats, and proceed to tally the results in postive/negative context. This have nothing to do with me personally, nor anybody else on here. Then again, there's this concept of content being "King" on the internet, but that's applied to Search Engine Ranking. You will find some thing that people have wrote in regards to the positive side of Doormats too. :-) Those articles do exist. I myself found some while doing my own searches. Were they posted by you when you did? Ya know..to show both sides?

Mercnbeth -> RE: Doormats (3/4/2010 11:53:06 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth People, many whose 'lifestyle' experience is limited to keystrokes, want to debate semantics. quote: ORIGINAL: Icarys Not sure who your talking to here but I don't think you are any better of a judge of who has experience and who doesn't from your position from a keyboard. I wasn't talking to anyone. I made a point that "many" pontificators, some who may be the most vocal and locked into their one true way considering this semantic issue, have no real time experience as a reference. Although I didn't identify anyone specifically posting to this thread, my position stands. My first hand experience in real life with the many people I've met, supports it and qualifies my broad-stroke 'keyboard' representation. Like defining "doormat" experience and perspective matter. However I'd point out that the "some" and "many" qualifiers I used are clearly distinguished from 'all' and 'every'. An critical point of distinction wouldn't you say?

Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: Doormats (3/4/2010 12:02:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Icarys Not sure who your talking to here but I don't think you are any better of a judge of who has experience and who doesn't from your position from a keyboard. That's the bitch of things here, I'm not in any authority position. Whatever personal judgements I make are simply my own. If I want to express that I thought Lally2 gave out excellent advice, that's my judgement. If I think osf is still paddling around on top of the water, that's my own Judgement regards who I do or do not believe is experienced or is knowlegable or anything else.. Hell, If I think somebody is Great Mechanic and another person is Shit Mechanic, guess what, it's from my own personal position. A lot of people have their personal positions from their side of their own keyboards. quote: I admit this is truly an exercise in futility at times if your goal is to convince someone of anything if they choose to see only what they want to see.. At this point in time, all the negative views and reasons I could humanly think about, I've managed to bring to light on this thread. Exercise in the negative views and reasons for me has ended personally. Hell, my goal was to expose and show those as best as I humanly could. Regardless if it pissed anybody off or not. Do the negatives exists? Oh hell yeah, you bettcha you butt that they do. I have no control over their existence either.

Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: Doormats (3/4/2010 12:12:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Icarys quote: ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4 quote: ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth quote: ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4 This is one of general overall reflection in a group of people, be it egocentric or not in nature. I must have missed the agreement on "a general overall reflection". Was it the conclusion reached from the same people who agreed on what is pornographic? The same process has been employed. A naked guy displayed on a cross by Robert Mapplethorpe - pornographic! One done by Michaelangelo as a fresco in the Vatican - 'Masterpiece'! Supporting the group you identify and condemning the other isn't concluding or determining as fact. Remember only one person with a voice disclosed that the 'king' wasn't wearing any clothes. The "reflection in a group of people" is no less egocentric than one person. In terms of "king", it can be somewhat established though the use of google and looking at other things various forms of media, that it leans more towards the negative compared to the postive. This I personaly, have Zero control over, however it's an obersvation of what is there. Mind you there are some postives in the sea of negatives to be found. If for instance you type in "Doormat" and exclude the physical ones, and proceed to mark off (postive/negative). Perhaps if you type in "Doormat human" or some other critia to filter out physical doormats, and proceed to tally the results in postive/negative context. This have nothing to do with me personally, nor anybody else on here. Then again, there's this concept of content being "King" on the internet, but that's applied to Search Engine Ranking. You will find some thing that people have wrote in regards to the positive side of Doormats too. :-) Those articles do exist. I myself found some while doing my own searches. Were they posted by you when you did? Ya know..to show both sides? The OP was looking for negative reasons and views, as opposed to the positive ones. At best what I was able to do, was turn a bit of a negative around into a postive in regards to what tazzygirl injected here. Which I thought you above all people would have understood, even more so when I expressed that Some Doormats would make Beautiful slaves. :-) However, this was for drilling down into trying to also establish traits which was part of the OP.. and somebody tossed out motivation perhaps is what should be considered. During this point in the thread, I clearly took a negative and made it a positive. However, I still maintained the focus upon the negative views and reasons why Doormat has negative connontations. However, I will assure you this, that the number of positive articles in my own search were out weighed the negatives. I am making mention of this to acklowledge their existence. Again, they did not out number the ones to which being a Doormat was a positive or desired thing. :-)

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