Masterfoyou
Posts: 1
Joined: 8/27/2007
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I don't know if this will help you in any way at all, but here goes!
Many, many years ago, while divorcing my then wife, and before I met and then married the one who is now also my slave, I took what was for me a very big decision - to go to my first munch. And to me, it was a very big deal! My BDSM 'side' was a very personal thing to me and bringing it 'out' was frought wit thoughts of dress codes and secret handshakes and passwords, I mean, they have these things at munches, don't they?
There is a well established munch in Birmingham near to where I lived, run by a group called B2G (or Bound2gether) and so I joined this group and asked the question about what a munch is and what do you do when you go to one? The response was overwhelmingly friendly and positive. I got to chatting regularly with a couple of people there who explained that it was just a group of friends meeting in a pub for a drink. No fetish dress codes, in fact it was encouraged to be somewhat discrete where clothing and accessories were concerned beacuse obviously there were 'vanilla' people there who alse were there to enjoy themselves, and topics of conversation were as wide and varied as the people who attended.
In the end, I plucked up the courage, and wrote that I would be attending the next munch, what ever the date was!
The day before I wrote to say that I had decided it was not for me and would not be there. The response was such that I expect such changes of mind were not uncommon LOL, and without being forced or compelled, I was persuaded to change my mind. I was reminded what time the munch started and finished, and in which part of the room the group would be seated. Most munch organisers have some sort of symbol or token on their table which people can recognise, and in this case it was simply a large A to Z, which would be there to help people spot where they were.
On the day, I realised that there was an international rugby match live on T.V. at the same time that the munch would be on, so I thought (rather cleverly I reckoned) that I could just go into the pub and watch the telly, and cast an innocent glance about from time to time and see what was going on.
Sorted!
So I drive into the City and found the pub. There was a multi-story car park near by, so I paid what ever it was to park there, and walked over to the pub.
I turned around and got back in the car, and drove away.
I got about half a mile, told myself off, and drove back. I paid again, parked back in the same spot I had just vacated, and walked back to the pub.
This time I was brave and walked in, walked straight to the bar, ordered a pint and found the T.V.
I watched most of the 1st half of the game with out taking my eyes off the screen - but I could not for the life of you tell you who it was who was playing or who eventually won. Then I became aware that there was someone standing alongside me also watching the game, and during a pause in play, he asked, "you are here for the munch, aren't you"?
Well you could have knocked me down with a feather because I was in full disguise mode. But I said "yes I was" and asked how he knew, and he just introduced himself and said he had sort of become used to spotting the nervous newcomers, and invited me to join a few others from the munch who were also watching the game - at a table about 6 feet away from me.
That was it, ice broken, and a really enjoyable afternoon was shared. I have been back to the Birmingham munch time and again (though not recently unfortunately) and some of the friends I have made there encouraged me to go to simmlar events in Manchester and Liverpool. My slave and I go to the Birmingham Bizarre Bazzare when we can (fingers crossed for this month!) but this year we also intend to attend our first ever club, so I daresay more bouts of dithering and dallying will be forthcoming LOL.
Please do not think I make fun of those that are apprehensive of attending their first munch. If I point a finger, it is only pointed at myself and I share this with you in the hope that someone might recognise the same doubts and fears that I did, and will also come to realise that munches are a truly great social step to making new friends - both within the world of BDSM and outside of it.
Please, find out when that next much is near you (Informedconsent is a great site for finding lists of venues and dates), find out who organises it and introduce yourself. Most have people who are pleased to meet those who are new outside the event, and to walk in with you and introduce you to anyone else who is there.
Good luck with this, though you really wont need it, and maybe I shall get to meet you at one of these things one day (I will be the one staring at the telly).
Well wishes to all, Masterfoyou.
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RE: Munches - 
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