RE: Is there a name for Doms who find Dommes attractive?

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DarkSteven -> RE: Is there a name for Doms who find Dommes attractive? (2/27/2010 9:03:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer With strongly dominant men, their social signals, their body language and even their smell is all wrong for me to be at all turned on or attracted romantically. If I like them, I tend to see them as friends and brothers, and they register in my mind as "same gender/same orientation", and are basically sexually invisible to me. I can like and respect them, and I can even find them physically attractive in a still photo. As soon as they move or talk, I usually read their dominance signals and the immediate response wired into my brain is "nope, wrong gender/orientation". If you flip the gender,this speaks to me as a Dom male. Dominant women don't complement me the way femsubs do, but they're coming from the same headspace I'm coming from. There's a basis for good friendship there.

Justme696 -> RE: Is there a name for Doms who find Dommes attractive? (2/27/2010 9:05:45 AM)
Or are we afraid for equaly strong partners? Or would it just collide? because friendship..would be a good base for more..not?

DarkSteven -> RE: Is there a name for Doms who find Dommes attractive? (2/27/2010 9:08:49 AM)
Nope. Picture a bunch of men doing guy stuff, or a bunch of women doing female stuff together. Assuming they're straight, the plumbing will be wrong for anything more. If I'm with a Domme, we can chat just fine but the "mental plumbing" is wrong.

Lockit -> RE: Is there a name for Doms who find Dommes attractive? (2/27/2010 9:25:22 AM)
LOL at mental plumbing! Nice!

Jaybeee -> RE: Is there a name for Doms who find Dommes attractive? (2/27/2010 9:36:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lockit quote: ORIGINAL: Jaybeee It only just hit me after I joined this site, but some of you ladies here just have the sexiest minds...it's just a shame I'd never be a slave, but I'd LOVE the tussle for dominance with one of you, mental or physical. An even bigger shame women are 5% Domme, 5% slave, and 90% vanilla. If only the proportions were 45/45/10, WHAT a beautiful world this would be. For the first time ever, I both envy and pity a particular group; your slaves. Well, as this is 'ASK a Mistress', I'll ask; is there any part of you that yearns for a man strong enough to overwhelm you? Okay, what the hell do you mean five percent domina, five percent submissive and ninety percent vanilla? Where do you get these figures? I would never say I am five percent anything and ninety percent vanilla even though I am not real sadistic which might color someone's perspective. I don't take offense to much, but I find these figures offensive. Are you putting dominant women in a catagory that you would put a male dominant into? Are dominant men five percent dominant, five percent submissive and ninety percent vanilla? I am not sure I like your take on who and what we are and NO... I have no desire to be overtaken or to struggle with someone over what I already hold true in my life. NOR do I think of domiant men as better than submissive men in any way. Actually, I like the strong submissive male type and he isn't less than anyone in my eyes. I love his willingness to be all he is and exactly what he is to me and don't need the battle with a man who is always going to be challenging me to go submissive or vanilla, just as you the op seem to be thinking is workable simply because you tend to be thrilled by the domina mind and the challenge. What if you did find someone willing... would you be willing to lose that battle? Because that would be the only way it could or would work with me! lol Just wanted to immortalise those pearls, and many thanks to you for the hearty, healthy, bellylaugh.

Lockit -> RE: Is there a name for Doms who find Dommes attractive? (2/27/2010 9:47:00 AM)
Immortalize the words all you want and belly laugh till your lil heart is content, but keep in mind, any misconception started with your pearls or the lack thereof of a clear statement. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Make yourself clear. If you can't, people will read and take what you say as what you mean. Now that you come in laughing about a mistake you clearly started and then you act insulting, only goes to show that maybe, just maybe, I was correct in how you view dominant woman on some level. You really do want that challenge... the passive aggressive kind I am sure, as you didn't come back with... opps... didn't mean it that way and how you took it was understandable. No, you come back with a mild insult or off focus. So... enjoy the domina mind and play your 'I want to tussle' game... but it won't fly well with the likes of me darlin.

LadyNTrainer -> RE: Is there a name for Doms who find Dommes attractive? (2/27/2010 9:49:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Jaybeee I suppose in my heart of hearts, the apex of my desires is an utterly powerful, but utterly dedicated woman. A slave who could whip me in both an arm-wrestle AND a game of Chess, it would be worth ignoring my dom nature for such a woman, but preferably she still desires nothing more than to serve me. Strong, yet as submissive to ME as she is dominant over others. She "conquers" me through strategised servility, without firing even the opening shot in some infantile gender war, regales me with her superior knowledge of the world over coffee in the kitchen, answers the check-in lady with a "Yes, I packed this bag myself at my master's bidding" (kisses me lovingly, eyes never leaving the check-in lady), at the other end carries ALL our bags off the carousel in St Barts to the taxi, loads the 50Ib suitcase in the back with a frown asking, "You absolutely sure you didn't leave anything off the packing list?" That too is what dominant women tend to desire in a partner - strength and submissiveness. We're not so different after all, neh? quote: Though unless I marry Becca Swanson (be still, my breakfast!), as a bodybuilder myself a woman physically overpowering me is never gonna happen; I had a playfight with a girlfriend who was my height at 170Ibs well-toned, (one of the above-mentioned fitness girls), the 'fight' ended when I threw her lengthwise across the bedroom to land on her bed. And the fun began. While rough body play is fun, you may be confusing the ability to physically overpower with dominance and leadership qualities. Animal wranglers routinely work with animals like horses, elephants, killer whales, lions, bears, etc, that could without question overpower any human being alive. Yet there is also no question who is in charge, or who is dominant, either in the mind of the trainer or in the mind of the animal. Brute force is actually far less relevant to establishing and maintaining dominance, and in fact it tends to not work very well. You certainly can beat and force an animal, or a human. What you get with those tactics is not a willing submissive but a captive. There is a significant risk that such a creature will turn on you in any unguarded moment, and certainly it will escape as soon as it can. Old school animal wranglers from the "chair and whip" school didn't know any better method, and a good number of them ended up maimed or dead. Modern methods are far more reliable, and produce a genuinely willing service animal that strives with all of its might to please the trainer. I'm not impressed by the occasional holdouts who try to tell me that brute force is relevant when we're talking about establishing a sustainable long term dominance relationship. Doesn't matter if the subject is bipedal.

RedMagic1 -> RE: Is there a name for Doms who find Dommes attractive? (2/27/2010 9:53:10 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lockit You really do want that challenge... the passive aggressive kind I am sure, as you didn't come back with... opps... didn't mean it that way and how you took it was understandable. No, you come back with a mild insult or off focus. Yeah, passive aggressive being the operative term, especially as someone already corrected you on this thread, and you already withdrew the comment. A guy like that will have a hard time flirting with any woman, dom or sub. How is it dominant, responsible or powerful to have a belly laugh because of a simple message board mistake? Meanwhile, I think confident, assertive women are sexy as hell. Do I want any real fights for power in a relationship? Hell no, life throws us plenty of challenges already. Would I like plenty of physical struggles in bed? Hell yes.

Justme696 -> RE: Is there a name for Doms who find Dommes attractive? (2/27/2010 10:34:46 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven Nope. Picture a bunch of men doing guy stuff, or a bunch of women doing female stuff together. Assuming they're straight, the plumbing will be wrong for anything more. If I'm with a Domme, we can chat just fine but the "mental plumbing" is wrong. don't see what you are trying to say. Could be my english..sorry If big shot managers companies can marry....then Dom(mes) can also. There are profiles on here..that are D/D couples.

SaharahEve -> RE: Is there a name for Doms who find Dommes attractive? (2/27/2010 10:46:50 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer Also, you may be mistaking strength for dominance. Some of the strongest men I know are submissive, and it's a beautiful thing. A warrior knight in honorable service to his lady is an inspiring sight, and one that does interest me sexually and romantically. My sentiments exactly. As a dominant woman who prizes her males on their ability to love, obey, labor and suffer for me, I wonder about the meta-message in the OP's opening post, which seems to be rooted in the misconception that submissive men aren't as physically or mentally strong as "real men". The truth is, submissive men are just as physically strong as other men. The appeal of submissive men, to me, is that they are strong enough to serve, to accept Female authority and work toward something beyond themselves. It's important to keep in mind that a man's submission to a woman does not define, value or devalue his abilities; it simply directs them.

Andalusite -> RE: Is there a name for Doms who find Dommes attractive? (2/27/2010 11:49:48 AM)
I started out as a Domme for about 5 years, and now have a Master and a female submissive playpartner. I identify as a switch rather than a Domme, although I still post here. I didn't find anyone I reacted to submissively until after I'd been actively engaging in BDSM for more than 10 years, and when I did, it kind of took me by surprise rather than me "yearning" for it. I don't engage in power struggles with my Master. We don't tussle for dominance, although we do like wrestling around sometimes. You might be able to find someone who currently identifies as a Domme, who is willing to try switching for you but hasn't tried it before. However, the vast majority aren't open to that at all, even if they are occasionally masochistic. Lockit, I had the impression that the OP meant that 5% of women are Dommes, 5% are submissive, and the rest are vanilla, rather than that each woman somehow has those proportions. I enjoy both domination and submission (as well as, but not directly correlated with, S/M and bondage), but I don't have any "x percentage" of one or the other. It depends on how I respond to an individual person - when I dominate someone, I don't feel submissive toward them, and vice versa.

Jaybeee -> RE: Is there a name for Doms who find Dommes attractive? (2/27/2010 11:54:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer quote: ORIGINAL: Jaybeee I suppose in my heart of hearts, the apex of my desires is an utterly powerful, but utterly dedicated woman. A slave who could whip me in both an arm-wrestle AND a game of Chess, it would be worth ignoring my dom nature for such a woman, but preferably she still desires nothing more than to serve me. Strong, yet as submissive to ME as she is dominant over others. She "conquers" me through strategised servility, without firing even the opening shot in some infantile gender war, regales me with her superior knowledge of the world over coffee in the kitchen, answers the check-in lady with a "Yes, I packed this bag myself at my master's bidding" (kisses me lovingly, eyes never leaving the check-in lady), at the other end carries ALL our bags off the carousel in St Barts to the taxi, loads the 50Ib suitcase in the back with a frown asking, "You absolutely sure you didn't leave anything off the packing list?" That too is what dominant women tend to desire in a partner - strength and submissiveness. We're not so different after all, neh? T'would certainly appear we're not!! quote: quote: Though unless I marry Becca Swanson (be still, my breakfast!), as a bodybuilder myself a woman physically overpowering me is never gonna happen; I had a playfight with a girlfriend who was my height at 170Ibs well-toned, (one of the above-mentioned fitness girls), the 'fight' ended when I threw her lengthwise across the bedroom to land on her bed. And the fun began. While rough body play is fun, you may be confusing the ability to physically overpower with dominance and leadership qualities. Animal wranglers routinely work with animals like horses, elephants, killer whales, lions, bears, etc, that could without question overpower any human being alive. Yet there is also no question who is in charge, or who is dominant, either in the mind of the trainer or in the mind of the animal. Brute force is actually far less relevant to establishing and maintaining dominance, and in fact it tends to not work very well. You certainly can beat and force an animal, or a human. What you get with those tactics is not a willing submissive but a captive. There is a significant risk that such a creature will turn on you in any unguarded moment, and certainly it will escape as soon as it can. Old school animal wranglers from the "chair and whip" school didn't know any better method, and a good number of them ended up maimed or dead. Modern methods are far more reliable, and produce a genuinely willing service animal that strives with all of its might to please the trainer. I'm not impressed by the occasional holdouts who try to tell me that brute force is relevant when we're talking about establishing a sustainable long term dominance relationship. Doesn't matter if the subject is bipedal. Oh, those girls and I didn't part ways because I was too rough or not caring enough for their needs. You've clearly given this topic a great deal of thought, which is a boon. I've always loved the idea of humans being merely more intelligent animals, but still subject to the same underlying drives and urges as them. And did anyone ever tell you, there's something VERY arousing about being coached to dominate a woman BY a woman?

LadyNTrainer -> RE: Is there a name for Doms who find Dommes attractive? (2/27/2010 4:02:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Jaybeee T'would certainly appear we're not!! Exactly. We want the same thing, and it's rather like being two positively charged magnets. There is no attraction, though there may be likeness and kinship. Hopefully that answers your question adequately. quote: Oh, those girls and I didn't part ways because I was too rough or not caring enough for their needs. That is not what I said. What I said is that you were equating "I am physically stronger than you and can overpower you" with dominance, which any experienced trainer of humans or animals can tell you is a fallacy. A horse is stronger than me and can overpower me also, but it's quite clear who will be wearing the saddle. quote: I've always loved the idea of humans being merely more intelligent animals, but still subject to the same underlying drives and urges as them. And did anyone ever tell you, there's something VERY arousing about being coached to dominate a woman BY a woman? No. Most adults are socially clueful enough to keep that kind of information to themselves during a normal conversation, much as they do not announce at the dinner table that they need to make a tinkle. It's more information that we really need to know.

Jaybeee -> RE: Is there a name for Doms who find Dommes attractive? (2/27/2010 4:39:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer No. Most adults are socially clueful enough to keep that kind of information to themselves during a normal conversation, much as they do not announce at the dinner table that they need to make a tinkle. It's more information that we really need to know. Boring and needless self-censorship. I've enjoyed many a conversation, in vanilla company no less, where far edgier thoughts were voiced with less advance fanfare.

CallaFirestormBW -> RE: Is there a name for Doms who find Dommes attractive? (2/27/2010 4:56:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Jaybeee It only just hit me after I joined this site, but some of you ladies here just have the sexiest minds...it's just a shame I'd never be a slave, but I'd LOVE the tussle for dominance with one of you, mental or physical. An even bigger shame women are 5% Domme, 5% slave, and 90% vanilla. If only the proportions were 45/45/10, WHAT a beautiful world this would be. For the first time ever, I both envy and pity a particular group; your slaves. Well, as this is 'ASK a Mistress', I'll ask; is there any part of you that yearns for a man strong enough to overwhelm you? I've had the pleasure of having several men in our poly household with whom I shared the role of Keeper -- all of them were commanding, intelligent, and fascinating men, capable of taking the lead where necessary, and stepping back to allow another with greater expertise lead where that served our family best... and perhaps, someday, more like them will find a way into my life and our House. That being said, I have absolutely NO interest in being commanded or having there be a "tussle for power" in our household, and any person, male or female, who felt inclined to have to have that to be happy would certainly find their baggage efficiently restored to the front stoop, as battles for power among the dominant members of a household are a sure road to the destruction of said household... and that is simply not an option for us. Calla

domiguy -> RE: Is there a name for Doms who find Dommes attractive? (2/27/2010 4:59:49 PM)
I've had piles of Domme pussy and ass juice crusted up in my pubes. They all want it, ya know. Right now Jeffff and I are currently revving up to compete in the thirteenth annual Jackie Gleason Heineken Tourney. It is a Domme banging tournament that parallels March Madness. Doms from across the Globe gather to see who can ram the most Dommes in a three week period. Jeffff has held the title for the last three years running. I plan on contending this year thanks in part to my raging alcoholism as well as by further lowering my plummeting standards. Go Domiguys!!!!

MsRose -> RE: Is there a name for Doms who find Dommes attractive? (2/27/2010 5:05:23 PM)
Why on earth would I 'yearn' for a man to 'overwhelm' me? Also, I think the name for male dominants who find female dominants attractive is 'normal'. No special category for that, I don't think.

LadyNTrainer -> RE: Is there a name for Doms who find Dommes attractive? (2/27/2010 6:09:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Jaybeee quote: ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer No. Most adults are socially clueful enough to keep that kind of information to themselves during a normal conversation, much as they do not announce at the dinner table that they need to make a tinkle. It's more information that we really need to know. Boring and needless self-censorship. I've enjoyed many a conversation, in vanilla company no less, where far edgier thoughts were voiced with less advance fanfare. Let me be specific here. Exchanging casual thoughts is normal and expected, and in an adult BDSM forum the topics may certainly be adult in nature. There is a distinction between engaging in "edgy" conversation and telling someone that what they are saying is really turning you on. The former makes you a welcome guest. The latter generally results in eyes being rolled and no one wanting to talk to you any more on those subjects. If you want to participate in an intelligent conversation with other dominants, you need to do it with your big head, not your little one. If you find that terribly dull, by all means I recommend you seek an audience who will appreciate it when you bring your "Little Dommie" out to play. That would not be here.

IdiotMale -> RE: Is there a name for Doms who find Dommes attractive? (2/27/2010 6:11:07 PM)
Yes the name for Doms who find Dommes attractive is called men.

dreamerdreaming -> RE: Is there a name for Doms who find Dommes attractive? (2/28/2010 12:33:54 AM)
NO! [sm=Groaner.gif]

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