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Trust comes first before you chat on here, message, - 2/28/2010 6:38:32 PM

winterlight

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meet in person or phone?

Do you consider this to be a valid statement?

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RE: Trust comes first before you chat on here, message, - 2/28/2010 6:40:55 PM

Jeffff

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Can you clarify that?

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RE: Trust comes first before you chat on here, message, - 2/28/2010 6:42:10 PM

LadyAngelika

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It's certainly not a complete statement.

- LA

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RE: Trust comes first before you chat on here, message, - 2/28/2010 6:43:24 PM

camille65

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From: Austin Texas
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quote:

ORIGINAL: winterlight

meet in person or phone?

Do you consider this to be a valid statement?

No. Just because I talk to someone doesn't mean I trust them. It doesn't mean that I don't trust them either. For me they don't go together.

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RE: Trust comes first before you chat on here, message, - 2/28/2010 6:48:05 PM

barelynangel

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I rarely trust a lot of people. I do trust myself however as well as my common sense. So if i waited until i trusted most people lol i wouldn't know anyone. Sometimes a person has to simply set themselves up for the most protection they can in the form of being sensible and common sense in dealing with people and trust themselves rather than having to trust everyone they encounter or interact with.

I think of places like this like a nightclub or tavern, you trust yourself and you do what you have to by having commonsense and sensible, and you interact with people, getting to know them and maybe they will become someone you trust or simply an aquaintence or a whisper in your life.

you is general.
angel

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RE: Trust comes first before you chat on here, message, - 2/28/2010 6:49:57 PM

winterlight

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I had a Dom message me that trust comes first and .........

You get the idea....Why would I trust somebody i do not know?

To me trust is earned....

< Message edited by winterlight -- 2/28/2010 6:50:38 PM >

(in reply to barelynangel)

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RE: Trust comes first before you chat on here, message, - 2/28/2010 6:51:40 PM

LadyAngelika

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quote:

ORIGINAL: winterlight

I had a Dom message me that trust comes first and .........

You get the idea....Why would I trust somebody i do not know?

I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt that they are being honest. Experience has taught me to keep my guard up somewhat.

Trust is then earned slowly. People who insist on you trusting them early on are very likely trying to get your guard down.

- LA

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RE: Trust comes first before you chat on here, message, - 2/28/2010 6:54:00 PM

Jeffff

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Ok.. that's the kinda shit we say so you will trust us... and then take your clothes off.

"See I believe in the purity of our beloved lifestyle". "The community knows that trust must come from a deeper place than in the nilla world". "We can only be true through our trust"

" what color panties are you wearing?"

Jeffwey

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RE: Trust comes first before you chat on here, message, - 2/28/2010 6:54:21 PM

DarkSteven

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quote:

ORIGINAL: winterlight

I had a Dom message me that trust comes first and .........

You get the idea....Why would I trust somebody i do not know?

To me trust is earned....

Yup. Another loser claiming to be a Dom. Block, delete, move on.

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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

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RE: Trust comes first before you chat on here, message, - 2/28/2010 6:56:55 PM

littlewonder

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nope, not valid

I've talked on the phone and met in person, people who I don't even know anything about.

Trust is something that comes over time when someone shows their integrity and honesty with me.

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RE: Trust comes first before you chat on here, message, - 2/28/2010 7:03:51 PM

LadyAngelika

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quote:

" what color panties are you wearing?"

They let the sub girls wear panties around here? What kind of a BDSM place is this!!

- LA

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RE: Trust comes first before you chat on here, message, - 2/28/2010 7:16:22 PM

winterlight

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Jeffwey,,,,

not wearing any...winks!

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RE: Trust comes first before you chat on here, message, - 2/28/2010 7:17:41 PM

DarkSteven

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

quote:

" what color panties are you wearing?"

They let the sub girls wear panties around here? What kind of a BDSM place is this!!

- LA

Pretty lax. They even let CDs wear them.

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"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: Trust comes first before you chat on here, message, - 2/28/2010 9:18:03 PM

ThatDamnedPanda

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quote:

ORIGINAL: winterlight

I had a Dom message me that trust comes first and .........

You get the idea....Why would I trust somebody i do not know?

To me trust is earned....

The guy says trust must come before... a chat? Jesus christ. That's just nuts.

Meet in person, yeah - I can see the logic in that. But to say that trust must be established before even chatting on Yahoo or whatever, says to me the guy's got a very complicated relationship with trust - a completely unrealistic concept of what it is and the role it has in a relationship. This'd be a red flag for me.

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RE: Trust comes first before you chat on here, message, - 3/1/2010 7:14:33 AM

sravaka

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Dunno if this is relevant to the guy the OP encountered... but I too have spoken to people hereabouts who've had seriously wacky ideas about trust. As in, trust is something you *decide* to have, rather than something you arrive at over time. This is how they claim to approach trust themselves. Then if things don't work out they shrug, learn from it, and move on.

Perhaps it's akin (in their eyes, not mine) to the respect question that comes up so often-- is it earned, or do you proffer it to everyone until they prove unworthy of it?

I think this approach would be a lot easier from the domly side of the slash, but even then, I have my doubts. And I think a dominant who can't get outside of his own viewpoint well enough to understand why a submissive might want to be careful is not a good basket to put eggs in.

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RE: Trust comes first before you chat on here, message, - 3/1/2010 8:10:37 AM

BrokenSaint

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Really if you need trust before you even chat with someone you're just plain old bad at the internet. Really. I mean fuck.

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RE: Trust comes first before you chat on here, message, - 3/1/2010 8:18:24 AM

Smutmonger

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It does come off as a valid statement with as many men as are on here playing females and wasting time. A dated picture or a phone conversation can let you know the person on the other end isn't "300 pound Duane".

< Message edited by Smutmonger -- 3/1/2010 8:19:19 AM >

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RE: Trust comes first before you chat on here, message, - 3/1/2010 8:21:09 AM

UniqueRaven

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From: Austin, TX
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Ok.. that's the kinda shit we say so you will trust us... and then take your clothes off.

"See I believe in the purity of our beloved lifestyle". "The community knows that trust must come from a deeper place than in the nilla world". "We can only be true through our trust"

" what color panties are you wearing?"

Jeffwey

Silly Jefffffffffffff......everyone knows that twue members of the community don't wear panties.

We must have the trust to go pantiless.

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RE: Trust comes first before you chat on here, message, - 3/1/2010 8:31:15 AM

LaTigresse

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Trust is a pretty elusive thing for me.

I trust 100% that people will usually be true to their nature. Outside of that, it's all on me.

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Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Trust comes first before you chat on here, message, - 3/1/2010 8:37:10 AM

CalifChick

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Smutmonger

A dated picture or a phone conversation can let you know the person on the other end isn't "300 pound Duane".

Not necessarily.

Cali

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