Padriag
Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
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Hi Fury, wanted to respond to what you posted. I've thought about what I'm about to say an considered that I may get flamed for saying it... but then I never came here to win a popularity contest.
There are a lot of reasons for your experience. To be blunt, I think despite all the claims about being color blind and how its "shameful in this day and age" the reality is race still very much matters to most people. And its not surprising, there are a variety of reasons for it.
One of them is biological... there is a built in impulse in all social animals to seek out similar animals. Get enough of one species together and you'll find they start to subdivide into smaller groups based on more specific similarities. People aren't exempt from this rule. Its caused by a combination of seeking security in a group versus our ability to deal with numbers. There comes a certain point when there are just too many people to feel connected too, so we subdivide into smaller groups based on things we find familiar in each other until we reach a number we can feel comfortable with... and that threshold varies. Ever noticed that among white or blacks, most of them tend to subdivide into smaller groups along more specific qualities... rednecks vs yuppies, dark skinned blacks vs light skinned blacks vs mulattos, east coast vs west coast, republican vs democrat, vanilla vs kinky... its all the same thing really.
Sometimes we override this, some other criteria becomes more important... we might assemble into larger groups because some external threat provides sufficient motivation for smaller groups to come together... a million blacks march together... blacks and whites unite to fight a common enemy in a war... nations unite to fight a common threat... smaller groups seek other similar groups for security by forming a larger group better able to meet the threat, safety in numbers... its all the same.
We often divide over race because of two things, biology and visual cues. There are biological difference between whites and black, I'm not saying one is superior or any other such nonsense... but just that there are differences. Differences in the levels and specific combinations of pheromones we produce, cultural differences, and visually obvious physical differences. Human beings are very visual creatures, and given that its no small wonder we seperate on visual differences. A german and italian get together more easily than a black and white, why... visual similarities and differences. We judge by what we see because we rely so much on what we see for information. Take for example the letters and words you are reading right now... you need to see them to have them, take sight away and how lost would you be? How much information would be lost to you because you couldn't see it in order to take it in. Think about it.
We divide over cultural differences too, and those same biological and visual differences only reforce the cultural differences... that is, try to imagine a white person trying to participate in the black culture... or better still watch an episode of Black and White and it becomes painfully obvious that even when you change the visual cues, you paint white people black... they just ain't black! They don't have the culture and the culture isn't going to accept them and vice versa.
In short, racism is in part a biological function, its not going to go away. That's not a popular statement I'm sure... but take a look at the last 300 years of human history... it hasn't gone away. That doesn't mean we can't ameliorate it and reduce it. Knowing that we tend to seek out what is similiar and familiar to us helps us recognize our own habits and when those habits may be causing us to be unconsciously unfair to someone else. Knowing that we can control and override those impulses empowers us with the choice to do so. Not every one will, some will simply be too lazy to do so. But some will, and that's also a uniquely human quality. Our conscious self awareness allows us to override biological impulses... to ignore race, to not have kids, to run into a burning building instead of out of it and all sorts of other things that every biological impulse in our being is screaming at us not to do.
We all make choices about who we associate with, but we don't always examine the reasons for those choices. I like brunettes... I'm pretty sure that goes back to a cute little Hawai'ian girl I met when I was just a kid, she made an impression. Knowing that doesn't change that preference, but I also know its just a quirk about me and while I tend not to be as attracted to blonds, I don't discount them either, I don't close myself off to the possibility of dating a blong woman. I've known white women who would never date a black man, and I've known some who exclusively seek out black men... and I wonder about the choices both make. I wonder how much they've examined their choices.
One last point I'll make... we often deal with individuals far differently than we deal with groups. But not everyone is willing to make the effort to deal with an individual. Everyone has a little prejudice in them (also not a popular statement, but a very honest one none-the-less), its easy when dealing with groups to create a stereotype and just write them off. To say that all Irish are drunkards, or all blacks are criminals, or that all whites are racist. Its when we allow ourselves to see individuals that all breaks down... then we have to deal with people, we have to face the truth that while some Irish are drunkards, some won't touch a drop and some keep it under control and some bizarre few don't even like whiskey. Its when we deal with individual we have to face our prejudices, our stereotypes, our own ignorance and misguided notions and that can be a very humbling experience. Not everyone can handle that, some people avoid it out of fear. As part of a group I may never give you more than a passing consideration... but as an individual I have to see you as a man you are. Try to remember that when you are confronted with the personal attacks. You'll often find they aren't really personal at all, they're actually attacking a stereotype, a group, they're attacking the unfamiliar.
Its a funny thing about people... we're very much driven by Us vs Them... and Them is invariably anyone different from Us. The only thing that really changes is how broad our definition of Us is.
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Padriag
A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer
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RE: Race...living the lifestyle with head buried in the... - 
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LOL The club tries to cater for everyone by having couples-only rooms, a dungeon room and so on... but unfortunately everyone must rub shoulders (and occasionally other body parts) with kinksters of all persuasions. 
LOL) 
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