RE: Your Hard limits are HOW Hard???

RE: Your Hard limits are HOW Hard??? (Full Version)

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ownedgirlie -> RE: Your Hard limits are HOW Hard??? (3/29/2006 11:01:07 PM)
i have no stated limits to my Master but he does know my mind intimately and knows what i can handle and what i can not. Things i thought i would and could never, ever do....and things even he thought he had no interest in ever doing.....have been done. He is always pushing, always challenging, and i am always working to continue to expand my mind and what i can handle. Such things are introduced to me with appropriate thought and consideration, when he can predict my reaction with much confidence.

dave1212 -> RE: Your Hard limits are HOW Hard??? (3/30/2006 2:56:40 AM)
Being quite new to the scene i did have quite a few what i would have called hard limits ! Although i must admit mainly due to ignorance on my part [:)] Most of them have long since gone but i am no longer ignorant and there are only two which will remain hard limit's for me [;)]

MsAlexaandJack -> RE: Your Hard limits are HOW Hard??? (3/30/2006 3:06:01 AM)
A hard limit is a hard limit and its not to be pushed. I have mine and they won't be pushed, my sub has the same limits so we are on the same sheet of paper. As a dominant I would never think of trying to push a person past their hard limit, I think that can effect the trust factor. ~MsAlexa

twicehappy -> RE: Your Hard limits are HOW Hard??? (3/30/2006 3:46:56 AM)
quote: How Hard are your limits? Would you ever consider being taken past them, as long as you didn't find them ethically wrong My hard limits are set in stone, for moral reasons. During my search for owners i was careful to only open conversation with people whose hard limits were the same. When i 1st started in this lifestyle i had a few other items listed as a hard limit (not for moral reasons), and quite a few soft ones also. With the exception of the limits i have held due to moral reasons, all the others i held were pushed past. A couple of them i was eventually trained to handle if not with joy, then reasonable grace. Then there were those thresholds crossed that sent my mind reeling, leaving me in a dazed puddle, going WOW, why the hell did i think i was not into that. I came to realize as i grew that i could not say " limit" hard or soft (afore mentioned moral limits excluded) until i at least tried something once. I am pleased to say after all these years this wild wonderful life we lead still throws fresh experiences at me. Case in point- my Mistress, i have always been bi, yet never have been collared by, nor served another female. So coming to meet my Master knowing he was married to another who was Domme, who i was expected to submit to (they are a dom/domme couple) was an unknown for me. Here i am totally amazed by her.(note: Mistress definitely falls into the WOW category.)

slavejali -> RE: Your Hard limits are HOW Hard??? (3/30/2006 4:09:13 AM)
My limits are as hard as Master says they are, I've put my trust in him. If I didnt have a Master, although Im very adventurous and like to play somewhat hard, my hard limits would be a mile long grin and no, I wouldnt just let anyone take me past them.

IrishMist -> RE: Your Hard limits are HOW Hard??? (3/30/2006 6:29:49 AM)
Since they removed LA's little crack shot at me,and my response, I am just going to go ahead and answer her again. LA, obviously you feel the need to discuss ILLEGAL activities with your partners as limits; however, I don't. Illegal activities would never even be considered as something that would be part of play, therefore, I see no need to list them as a limit that can not be breached. Personally, if the need to ever discuss such things arises, I would know that the person who brought them up was not the one for me, and not someone whom I would even want to associate with, much less begin a relationship.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Your Hard limits are HOW Hard??? (3/30/2006 6:36:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: IrishMist Since they removed LA's little crack shot at me,and my response, I am just going to go ahead and answer her again. LA, obviously you feel the need to discuss ILLEGAL activities with your partners as limits; however, I don't. Illegal activities would never even be considered as something that would be part of play, therefore, I see no need to list them as a limit that can not be breached. Personally, if the need to ever discuss such things arises, I would know that the person who brought them up was not the one for me, and not someone whom I would even want to associate with, much less begin a relationship. Considering a lot of bdsm and sexual activities ARE illegal in most places in the US, I'm not sure you're being logical.

sultryvoice -> RE: Your Hard limits are HOW Hard??? (3/30/2006 7:19:29 AM)
I have a few limits. To me they are only limits..I don't believe in hard or soft limits. They are just limits and one can tell where I will and won't go if they get to know me. From when I started out, they have realy changed. But there are stil a few that are just not right, in my eyes. But, they might be fine in anothers! Respectfully, sultry

ownedgirlie -> RE: Your Hard limits are HOW Hard??? (3/30/2006 7:48:28 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: twicehappy Then there were those thresholds crossed that sent my mind reeling, leaving me in a dazed puddle, going WOW, why the hell did i think i was not into that. i've run into that as well. i think it is safe to say, there are things i would never have fathomed doing, until i grew with him. Remove him from the equation, and it is not likely i would do them with anyone else any time soon. It is him - his power - which drives me to do what he wants, no matter how difficult. i was in a position last year to be faced with a strong moral dilemma as a result of a decision he needed to make. As it turned out, the situation did not come to pass which would require such a decision. But before things were resolved, i realized i would follow his rule, regardless. It was a deep and interesting exercise, if nothing else.

IrishMist -> RE: Your Hard limits are HOW Hard??? (3/30/2006 8:14:48 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross quote: ORIGINAL: IrishMist Since they removed LA's little crack shot at me,and my response, I am just going to go ahead and answer her again. LA, obviously you feel the need to discuss ILLEGAL activities with your partners as limits; however, I don't. Illegal activities would never even be considered as something that would be part of play, therefore, I see no need to list them as a limit that can not be breached. Personally, if the need to ever discuss such things arises, I would know that the person who brought them up was not the one for me, and not someone whom I would even want to associate with, much less begin a relationship. Considering a lot of bdsm and sexual activities ARE illegal in most places in the US, I'm not sure you're being logical. On the contrary, I am being extremely logical. Simply because YOU see something as HAVING to be discussed, does not mean that I do. What you referred to, would never come up in a discussion that I would be having with a potential partner. That may be something that you think comes up in every discussion, but, not in mine, so therefore, it is not considered. Nothing illogical about it at all, just simply common sense. ( of course, this only applies to me and how I approach relationships, that is not to say that others would not feel differently ) [:)]

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Your Hard limits are HOW Hard??? (3/30/2006 8:23:55 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: IrishMist On the contrary, I am being extremely logical. Simply because YOU see something as HAVING to be discussed, does not mean that I do. What you referred to, would never come up in a discussion that I would be having with a potential partner. That may be something that you think comes up in every discussion, but, not in mine, so therefore, it is not considered. Nothing illogical about it at all, just simply common sense. ( of course, this only applies to me and how I approach relationships, that is not to say that others would not feel differently ) [:)] Your initial post spoke only to liking having your limits pushed. You didn't qualify with any sort of TYPE of limit. And it's illogical to say you don't discuss doing illegal things when you DO a lot of illegal things with bdsm.

Slipstreme -> RE: Your Hard limits are HOW Hard??? (3/30/2006 9:16:33 AM)
quote: Personally, I perfer to be pushed past limits just to see how far I actually can go. /shrug but that's just me Sounds like me. I will try to go as far as I can possibly go. I've a few limits that can not be broken: scat, severe body modification. I don't fancy dieing much either and I don't do illegal. I don't know much about emotional/ moral/ ethical limits. They just haven't come up, and I'm too Dominant to put myself in a place where they would be an issue for me. Most of my limits are physical, simply because I do love the pain, and must keep an eye out for my personal safety. I thought needles would be a hard limit, but heck, I'll be off to get my first tattoo soon, and I know I've got friends I know who are just that evil to want to play with my fears when I go to see them. And yes, they have it coming right back at them too.

KittenWithaTwist -> RE: Your Hard limits are HOW Hard??? (3/30/2006 9:43:31 AM)
I have very few hard limits with my primary partner. I can't even think of any off the top of my head that he or I feel barred from engaging in. Anyway, your question as to can you pass up a hard limit that isn't an ethical barrier? Yes. Is it a wise move? That depends on how capable you are of empathy, understanding, wisdom, and respect. Are you pushing the limit for your own gain? Are you pushing the limit to help your sub/bottom through a difficult experience? Are you searching for enlightenment or release?

thetammyjo -> RE: Your Hard limits are HOW Hard??? (3/30/2006 9:48:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KittenWithaTwist I have very few hard limits with my primary partner. I can't even think of any off the top of my head that he or I feel barred from engaging in. Anyway, your question as to can you pass up a hard limit that isn't an ethical barrier? Yes. Is it a wise move? That depends on how capable you are of empathy, understanding, wisdom, and respect. Are you pushing the limit for your own gain? Are you pushing the limit to help your sub/bottom through a difficult experience? Are you searching for enlightenment or release? I think these are great questions to ask.

KittenWithaTwist -> RE: Your Hard limits are HOW Hard??? (3/30/2006 9:58:25 AM)
quote: quote: ORIGINAL: KittenWithaTwist I have very few hard limits with my primary partner. I can't even think of any off the top of my head that he or I feel barred from engaging in. Anyway, your question as to can you pass up a hard limit that isn't an ethical barrier? Yes. Is it a wise move? That depends on how capable you are of empathy, understanding, wisdom, and respect. Are you pushing the limit for your own gain? Are you pushing the limit to help your sub/bottom through a difficult experience? Are you searching for enlightenment or release? I think these are great questions to ask. Thanks! I actually don't really know what part of my brain I pulled this from. I was reading over the posts of many other people and found so many saying their hard limits are hard. I thought that way too, once. But, I think, if you spend enough time with an empathic and respectful partner, you may find that, for the right reasons, you are willing to soften your barriers a bit. Again, this is just a possibility, depending on what you are like, what your partner is like, the bond you've created, and the reasons behind those barriers. I've often run into people who feel they need to push the limits of their sub/bottom because "those limits need to be pushed". What kind of an answer is that anyway?

peasantsub -> RE: Your Hard limits are HOW Hard??? (3/30/2006 10:03:36 AM)
well spoken KittenWitha Twist, my sentiments exactly

yourMissTress -> RE: Your Hard limits are HOW Hard??? (3/30/2006 10:15:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CERCKL quote: [My hard limts are HARD. I only have 4 but they are staying right where they are until long after Hell freezes over and jessy is queen of the universe. _____________________________ -Tress /quote] ...as intriguing as I have found You over the past few weeks of reading Your posts, I would probably be scared of what Your hard limits might be...especially after your 'nailing' post... Speaking of, wish I was down there, would be intrigued to observe...from a far distance. C *clears her throat and says in her most soothing come hither voice... CERCKL, dear, come here and have a cookie..I'm not scary at all, dear, and pay no attention to the woman behind the curtain...

michaelGA -> RE: Your Hard limits are HOW Hard??? (3/30/2006 10:31:03 AM)
in a nutshell, my hard limits are non-negotiable and are not to even be thought of as a testing area. not in this or any lifetime.

justatoy2 -> RE: Your Hard limits are HOW Hard??? (3/30/2006 10:42:27 AM)
i just wanted to add that as i have changed and grown over the years so have my hard limits. When i first began many years ago i had many hard limits. Ones i thought i could never ever cross. As i have changed, and grown more adventerous so did my limits change. I will give an example. There was a period of time that i said no to anal anything. Nope wasn't gonna happen ever ever ever. I met a wonderful Dom who showed me in a very caring way how wonderful anal pleasures can be. Do i think he is a horrible person because he pushed that paticular limit..no i don't. We all have fears we need to overcome. Sometimes i think we use the word "limits" to mean something i am afraid of. Ok just my 2.5 cents.

Mercnbeth -> RE: Your Hard limits are HOW Hard??? (3/30/2006 10:45:50 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CERCKL How Hard are your limits? Would you ever consider being taken past them, as long as you didn't find them ethically wrong (no, I'm not speaking of other's 'ethics' here...)? See, I can be serious at times... C the terms and conditions of what this slave will do, when and with who are decided solely by Master, therefore this slave "has" only the limits that Master has for her. on the other hand, if this slave was His submissive, NOT His slave, then she would "have" her very own personal set of limits that she would expect Him to respect, as negotiated and agreed upon at the beginning of our Dom/sub relationship(and re-negotiated should either party feel it necessary), especially if they were prefaced with the word Hard, suggestive of NON-flexibility.

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