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[Poll]

Being Alone vs Being Lonely


cry endlessly
  0% (0)
spend day and night online hoping
  14% (3)
masturbate tons - cuz no one else is around
  47% (10)
masterbate in malls bathrooms - cuz other people are there
  0% (0)
walk a LOT
  14% (3)
take up voyeurism or randomly spy on neighbors out of boredom
  4% (1)
create polls - just to see how they work
  19% (4)


Total Votes : 21
(last vote on : 3/6/2010 8:10:06 PM)
(Poll will run till: -- )
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RE: Being Alone vs Being Lonely - 3/3/2010 6:24:13 PM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline 		*sits in awe of Jefff's wisdom* 

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut


(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Being Alone vs Being Lonely - 3/3/2010 6:25:29 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		There , there, I am still mostly human. It's ok



~snickers~

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(in reply to Daddysredhead)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Being Alone vs Being Lonely - 3/3/2010 6:26:12 PM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline
quote:

And, it really sucks not to be alone and still feel lonely!


THAT in itself is another dilemma. Kinda like the being the redheaded stepchild situation and feeling like an outsider always thing, or any other situation (vanilla) stuff, religious stuff, work stuff, that goes on in an every day life....and you just feel like a martian in a clown costume.

Would you in that case...change the situation and find something 'different to do', just to make life easier, on yourself?

(in reply to came4U)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Being Alone vs Being Lonely - 3/3/2010 6:26:54 PM   
Smutmonger


Posts: 995
Joined: 2/17/2010
Status: offline 		OP......

You didn't list.. "Plot and work towards increasing my capacity for fun evil."

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I didn't get into an alternative lifestyle to explore new frontiers in conformity.

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Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Being Alone vs Being Lonely - 3/3/2010 6:27:29 PM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

There , there, I am still mostly human. It's ok

~snickers~


*giggles*

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut


(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Being Alone vs Being Lonely - 3/3/2010 6:30:03 PM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline
quote:

I ENJOY being single. Once you get all comfy and happy on your own, someone will come along to mess everything up for you.

If you're not truly happy while you're single, you're doing it wrong.


I knowww! sometimes it is like you wonder if ...well, it would cause such inconvenience and havok maybe, that is it worth it? Eventually, I get too stubborn, then the choice between happy and a partner becomes a ..no brainer. I tend to choose happy lol.

(in reply to Smutmonger)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Being Alone vs Being Lonely - 3/3/2010 6:31:12 PM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

quote:

And, it really sucks not to be alone and still feel lonely!


THAT in itself is another dilemma. Kinda like the being the redheaded stepchild situation and feeling like an outsider always thing, or any other situation (vanilla) stuff, religious stuff, work stuff, that goes on in an every day life....and you just feel like a martian in a clown costume.

Would you in that case...change the situation and find something 'different to do', just to make life easier, on yourself?


*uses my spare time to plot my revenge against those who use the word "redheaded" as a negative* 

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut


(in reply to came4U)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Being Alone vs Being Lonely - 3/3/2010 6:32:03 PM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline
quote:

OP......

You didn't list.. "Plot and work towards increasing my capacity for fun evil."


sorry smut, new poll, wasn't thinking except to try out how to do one...capacity for evil, gottcha. What is your capacity for evil..your limit? Does it change if you are single or looking? :P

(in reply to came4U)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Being Alone vs Being Lonely - 3/3/2010 6:34:02 PM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline
quote:

*uses my spare time to plot my revenge against those who use the word "redheaded" as a negative*


is otay, I'm a redhead too...

is just a sayin', you knowwww dat! *but you wanted a reason to use the paddle-smacke face

(in reply to came4U)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Being Alone vs Being Lonely - 3/3/2010 6:36:32 PM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

quote:

*uses my spare time to plot my revenge against those who use the word "redheaded" as a negative*


is otay, I'm a redhead too...

is just a sayin', you knowwww dat! *but you wanted a reason to use the paddle-smacke face


I know...  I like dat paddle. 

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut


(in reply to came4U)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Being Alone vs Being Lonely - 3/3/2010 6:39:09 PM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline
quote:

I know... I like dat paddle.


I see, I seeeee

but what else can consume one's time productively ...to stay sane during time of being 'alone' (physically, even if not mentally) or visa versa.

That paddle emote is ok, but, ..I want MORE.

(in reply to Daddysredhead)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Being Alone vs Being Lonely - 3/3/2010 6:41:59 PM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline 		Jeff is human? oh no, I thought he was a web bot.

I asked him once..."am I hot??'

he answered "the magic ball says go left on thursday'

wtf.

(in reply to came4U)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Being Alone vs Being Lonely - 3/3/2010 6:42:21 PM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

quote:

I live my life and I'm happy. I'm a complete person and don't need someone to complete me, keep me sane, or validate me.

I'm owed nothing by nobody nor by life. I don't look for a relationship. They happen and develop at the right times in my life with the right people, and I'm happy with that.


so what you are saying Stella is that you don't change a thing? damn fine idea. I that is even more healthy.

If find myself, maybe others too, doing things differently while in 'search' mode vs just not so concerned about the search mode. Out of frustration or whathaveyou, if that is not what you meant, pls clarify???



Certainly, I'm transgendered and after a few attempts which failed I honestly don't believe that I will ever 'find' someone for a relationship, especially online. People think that being transgendered carries a sort of stigma, and I spent years thinking that way myself, but it doesn't necessarily have to be the case. It hasn't affected me in any way when it comes to forming friendships with people, and you know friendship is a nice comfortable space where sometimes the intimacy goes that bit further and a relationship develops.

I have my work, a close knit circle of friends and my charity work so I'm never really lonely. The other thing is is that I place no expectations on the relationship or the other person.

I've spent a lot of my life living either in the future or the past and when you do that you sometimes lose sight of the present and what is actually going on around you. Then all of a sudden something happens and you're either thrown back into the past from the future (as in, starting all over again), or thrown from the past into the future (you're left with nothing and no one and have nothing left but hope that something will change).

Therefore I live in the present and take people at face value. Relationships come and go, it doesn't matter whether they last a week, months or years, because all that matters is that friendship is the final result and both that other person and me can look back on what was and remember happy times and appreciate knowing and being with that person. It might seem quite Bohemian, but this is what is really important to me.


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(in reply to came4U)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Being Alone vs Being Lonely - 3/3/2010 6:50:13 PM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline 		Awesome Stella, I think I am starting to recall you from when you first came to the forums? or I first noticed you. When the transgenered issue (here) was noticed to me anyways....you always seemed pretty darn sane to me. Not sure of your age (will have to open your profile), but ..wondering, despite the moral and societal issues of your 'being/becoming/or even what has always been, ...did you always have these healthy prospects going for you? These abilities of 'compensating' and taking care of yourself in a good way, good or bad worldly events? or is this something you learned along the way (after manyyy years)?? That bohemian friendship you speak of, is not only long-term associates, or/and is it in the end--yourself?

*didn't mean compensate in a bad way.

< Message edited by came4U -- 3/3/2010 6:55:52 PM >

(in reply to stella41b)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Being Alone vs Being Lonely - 3/3/2010 7:12:24 PM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

quote:

I know... I like dat paddle.


I see, I seeeee

but what else can consume one's time productively ...to stay sane during time of being 'alone' (physically, even if not mentally) or visa versa.

That paddle emote is ok, but, ..I want MORE.


Feeling a little greedy or switchy? 

When I am alone, I spend time watching tv, on the computer, reading, or driving around.

If I'm feeling lonely, I have a wonderful group of friends I can call and we can be "not lonely" together.

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut


(in reply to came4U)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Being Alone vs Being Lonely - 3/3/2010 7:23:31 PM   
LinnaeaBorealis


Posts: 8595
Joined: 10/5/2008
From: Insanity & beyond
Status: offline 		I rarely feel lonely.  I love being alone & able to do whatever I feel like doing whenever I feel like doing it.  I also love being in the relationship I am in now, which of necessity includes lots of alone time.  I live on the East Coast & they live on the West Coast.   The commute's a bitch.  We did actually live in the same town for quite some time, but circumstances & the economy have separated us for now.  When I'm single I don't spend a whole lot of time worrying about it.  If I feel lonely, I talk with or get together with my family & friends.  Or I read.  I love going places & meeting people in books.  I like going out to eat & shop by myself or go to movies or do something touristy.  I've gone to NFL football games by myself.  If it's something I want to do I don't sit home & lament that I have nobody to do it with.

_____________________________

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in
~~L. Cohen

Just one of the yahoo's

(in reply to Daddysredhead)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Being Alone vs Being Lonely - 3/3/2010 7:45:50 PM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline
quote:

Feeling a little greedy or switchy?

When I am alone, I spend time watching tv, on the computer, reading, or driving around.

If I'm feeling lonely, I have a wonderful group of friends I can call and we can be "not lonely" together.


ha, nope, not a switch...greed, uhh huh.

yeah, friends are good. Sometimes the tv, sometimes reading (gotta be in the mood), driving, hmmm NO. I am never alone if I were to drive. Cops just seem to be drawn to me. (lol could be my lack of skills).

(in reply to LinnaeaBorealis)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Being Alone vs Being Lonely - 3/3/2010 7:47:23 PM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline
quote:

I live on the East Coast & they live on the West Coast.


hmm, yanno, for years I bitched about LDR, but it is looking better and better by the mintute. Anything closer, at this point in my life, would seem---smothering.

quote:

If I feel lonely, I talk with or get together with my family & friends. Or I read. I love going places & meeting people in books. I like going out to eat & shop by myself or go to movies or do something touristy.


eating by yourself sometimes is great, shopping, a definate YES, no one to bug or to become impatient. A big YES on the shopping. Movies (besides at home), I've never tried, touristy, hmm good thing to do, never tried that either (unless someone comes here for me to show em stuff). Kinda boring alone though, since I've seen it all.

< Message edited by came4U -- 3/3/2010 7:52:59 PM >

(in reply to came4U)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Being Alone vs Being Lonely - 3/4/2010 2:36:33 AM   
wandersalone


Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline 		I haven't read any of the other replies yet so my apologies if I am repeating what others have said 

I have spent more of my adult life out of a relationship than in one (a lot more) and have always loved being alone but have only sometimes felt lonely.

I have focused on becoming the best I can be in my career, on being a wonderful and supportive friend, daughter, sister and aunty and I have continued to push myself to learn new things and challenge myself (though I admit that I just can't seem to get back into going to the gym damnit).

I try to live my life in a way that will leave the world a better place and this means always thanking the person in a shop who serves me and giving them a bright smile, smiling at strangers, randomly complimenting people, telling friends and family how thankful I am to have them in my life and generally being one of those sickeningly joyful people.

Of course I have other short periods where life is not life this, when I do feel lonely and do wish I was in a relationship so at those times I have found that an icecream diet works wonders as does shopping (new handbag anyone?).

Advice to others - throw away the expectations, open yourself up to possibilities, take chances, have faith that the universe will send someone along if and when you are ready to receive them and not before.


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(in reply to came4U)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Being Alone vs Being Lonely - 3/4/2010 2:57:44 AM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline 		thanks wandersalone

it might give chicks hope that ...hey, we do just fine without a man...even better without a shitty one.

If anything, it looks like more women are responding and have more ideas on how to handle themselves than men. Perhaps we are more resliliant ..ha, perhaps my a$$, we are.

It is my worse fear realized. MEN are more clingy and needy than I ever was at 20, now that these guys are over 40...it isn't cute.

No, it isn't just a Domme thing. I know many women and by far they are more intelligent, more capable and far more independant than their spouse, bf, or even without one.

Makes me even wonder if this Domme turnover in our world is just the next evolutionary step, not like it is a bad thing but for those who aren't bisexual or lesbian, it would suck. LOL.

A mild weakness in a guy, ooook. , but this kind of weakness? A man who is unable to fend for himself? Uhhhg,

I don't think I can handle a world so upside down. I will NOT tolerate me having to feed the man, clothe a man, buy him a car, pay for his kids, put his foot up on a lazyboy (literally) while I supply even his toothpaste.

ok, wanders, I also get, that shopping is good. temporary but it relieves some pressure.

But, what about ...ok, yes, we are strong, we are woman hear me roar. Where are the REAL men? really? Have they all been pushed off the planet? All crying over their divorces from 1990? Are they too broke for internet? Where are they?

* is obvious what I do when I am alone, I ponder that question while I stare at my new shoes.

this boob thread made me realize that for years n years, it is the MEN that are all about love agenda and frankly, it isn't about YOU, it is about being in LOVE. They / some people just have to be IN LOVE to survive. It turns me off. I can't understand why anyone would need to be in love so badly, they would compromise everything else to 'feel' that. It is repelling. Not LOVE, the intent, the expectation the MUST HAVE/MUST BE philosophy that is a turn off.

Maybe some of us are a live for the moment and don't expect it/insist on it-kinda people.




< Message edited by came4U -- 3/4/2010 3:21:50 AM >

(in reply to wandersalone)
Profile   Post #: 40
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