share your (misleading) wisdom here... (Full Version)

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LadyEllen -> share your (misleading) wisdom here... (3/7/2010 12:42:28 PM)

Got some special advice, household tips, historical knowledge you'd like to share that veers off the traditional path thats afflicted with reason, evidence or facts? Post it here! Extra points awarded for the most silly and misleading wisdom.

I'll go first -

Muesli was invented by the allied aircraft industry during WWII as a glue to stick together the parts of wooden military planes such as the De Havilland Mosquito.
 
After a long research programme, the mixture of cereals comprising muesli was found to be a most excellent adhesive, but it had to be dropped when assembly workers, then on strictly controlled war time rations, began eating it.
 
After the war, the production and distribution of muesli as a food product began and has been successful ever since, leading incidentally to other advances such as washing up liquid able to cope with removing it from dishes.

E



abrattyprincess -> RE: share your (misleading) wisdom here... (3/7/2010 12:54:16 PM)

Hydrogen peroxide will clean and disinfect almost anything.



MichiganHeadmast -> RE: share your (misleading) wisdom here... (3/7/2010 12:59:06 PM)

In contrast, dihydrogen monoxide is a dangerous industrial solvent found in many processed foods, that is implicated in thousands of deaths every year.



came4U -> RE: share your (misleading) wisdom here... (3/7/2010 12:59:42 PM)

9 handy household tips for the modern woman

1. DELIA'S WAY
Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.
THE REAL WOMAN'S WAY
Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for God's sake. You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway.

2. DELIA'S WAY
To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
THE REAL WOMAN'S WAY
Buy Smash and keep it in the cupboard for up to a year.

3. DELIA'S WAY
When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking tin, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.
REAL WOMAN'S WAY
Tesco's sell cakes. They even do decorated versions.

4. DELIA'S WAY
If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a potato slice.
REAL WOMAN'S WAY
If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that's tough sh*t. Now, please recite with me the Real Woman's motto: "I made it, and you will eat it, and I don't care how bad it tastes."

5. DELIA'S WAY
Wrap celery in aluminium foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.
REAL WOMAN'S WAY
Let it keep forever. Who really eats it anyway?

6. DELIA'S WAY
Brush some beaten egg white over piecrust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.
REAL WOMAN'S WAY
Sainsbury's frozen pie directions do not include brushing any egg white over the crust - so we don't do that.

7. DELIA'S WAY
Cure for headaches. Take a lime, cut it in half and rub in on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
REAL WOMAN'S WAY
Cure for headaches. Take a lime, cut it in half and drop it in 8 ounces of vodka. Drink the vodka. You might still have the headache, but at least you will be happy!

8. DELIA'S WAY
If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
REAL WOMAN'S WAY
Forget the gloves, use that gadget you keep in front of the TV ... that's what he's there for isn't it?

And finally ...

9. DELIA'S WAY
Freeze leftover wine into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.
REAL WOMAN'S WAY
Leftover wine???? .... Hello!!!!!


from: http://www.funny-haha.co.uk/Joke.asp?J=715



VaguelyCurious -> RE: share your (misleading) wisdom here... (3/7/2010 1:00:11 PM)

An anthropological study involving two thousand hawt women last year found that talking constantly about gash and your Dong will get you aaaaaaaall the girls.

According to the latest L'oreal blurb: troll-slurp gunk is in fact highly nutritious, and makes a fabulous moisturiser-as long as the Troll in question has not diluted it with toothpaste or mouthwash. The little green bits help to exfoliate, and leave your skin feeling revitalised, (if not necessarily fresh-the technicians are still working on that bit).



pahunkboy -> RE: share your (misleading) wisdom here... (3/7/2010 1:10:50 PM)

baking soda - I use it to clean dishes.   it can also be use to kill ants.  sprinkle it and it is safe 



FukinTroll -> RE: share your (misleading) wisdom here... (3/7/2010 1:12:26 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

An anthropological study involving two thousand hawt women last year found that talking constantly about gash and your Dong will get you aaaaaaaall the girls.

According to the latest L'oreal blurb: troll-slurp gunk is in fact highly nutritious, and makes a fabulous moisturiser-as long as the Troll in question has not diluted it with toothpaste or mouthwash. The little green bits help to exfoliate, and leave your skin feeling revitalised, (if not necessarily fresh-the technicians are still working on that bit).



That was slurp worthy!

SLURP SLURP SLURP!

For a green, lush and beautiful lawn fertilize with old motor oil.
~or~
Grey bath/shower water makes a nice lawn even gooder.



myotherself -> RE: share your (misleading) wisdom here... (3/7/2010 1:14:33 PM)

rabbit shit tastes just like chocolate raisins.



came4U -> RE: share your (misleading) wisdom here... (3/7/2010 1:16:17 PM)

When bathing a rascally tom-cat, to remove fleas always dip them in garlic oil, cats love garlic oil.

*good luck with that and have medical insurance.



LadyEllen -> RE: share your (misleading) wisdom here... (3/7/2010 1:17:30 PM)

Native Americans enjoyed such a life of leisure prior to the arrival of European settlers that they devised many fun diversions to occupy their time - one of which involved planting huge fields of corn such that it had pathways running through it to the centre which required wit and memory to reach by way of the many twists and turns. And it was then due solely to a misunderstanding that the settlers then came to believe that the corn used was called maize.

E



pahunkboy -> RE: share your (misleading) wisdom here... (3/7/2010 1:20:14 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself

rabbit shit tastes just like chocolate raisins.



Would you be so kind as to demonstrate for us?



zephyroftheNorth -> RE: share your (misleading) wisdom here... (3/7/2010 1:30:17 PM)

quote:

According to the latest L'oreal blurb: troll-slurp gunk is in fact highly nutritious, and makes a fabulous moisturiser-as long as the Troll in question has not diluted it with toothpaste or mouthwash. The little green bits help to exfoliate, and leave your skin feeling revitalised, (if not necessarily fresh-the technicians are still working on that bit).


L'Oreal, huh? [:D] Where do they propose we get that troll slurp?



came4U -> RE: share your (misleading) wisdom here... (3/7/2010 1:31:15 PM)

From the troll - goo factory, of course.

eesh



zephyroftheNorth -> RE: share your (misleading) wisdom here... (3/7/2010 1:34:36 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

From the troll - goo factory, of course.

eesh


Uh huh, which is located where?



VaguelyCurious -> RE: share your (misleading) wisdom here... (3/7/2010 1:35:34 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

L'Oreal, huh? [:D] Where do they propose we get that troll slurp?



What they do, right, is they gather a collection of adorable women together, and tether them to plows as bait.

Then they collect the resulting slobber in jars.

Then they send it to shops worldwide.

Then you buy it from your nearest available retailer.

Then you use it.

Then you become rejuvenated.



came4U -> RE: share your (misleading) wisdom here... (3/7/2010 1:37:15 PM)

Most recently? here: http://www.toyota.ca/cgi-bin/WebObjects/WWW.woa/wa/vp?vp=Home&language=english&gclid=CKHa8e3Lp6ACFSJ25QodW1K7ag

lol well, they are trolls.



Musicmystery -> RE: share your (misleading) wisdom here... (3/7/2010 1:40:36 PM)

Never buy gold or silver. The government has hidden secret mind control devices inside that make you believe nonsense.



zephyroftheNorth -> RE: share your (misleading) wisdom here... (3/7/2010 1:46:02 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

L'Oreal, huh? [:D] Where do they propose we get that troll slurp?



What they do, right, is they gather a collection of adorable women together, and tether them to plows as bait.

Then they collect the resulting slobber in jars.

Then they send it to shops worldwide.

Then you buy it from your nearest available retailer.

Then you use it.

Then you become rejuvenated.



Wouldn't it be easier to get FukinTroll to slurp me? less expensive too



LadyEllen -> RE: share your (misleading) wisdom here... (3/7/2010 1:47:36 PM)

The industry will tell you that hole punches wear out because the blades become dull over time, and that you ought to then go to the stationery store and buy another. Dont waste your money on this scam!

The reason they "wear out" is because they come with a set stock of holes installed by the manufacturer - and all you need to do to get your old hole punch working like new is to buy a refill. Dont be fobbed off at the store - threaten to call the police alleging fraud if they refuse to sell you a box of refill holes.

E



myotherself -> RE: share your (misleading) wisdom here... (3/7/2010 1:50:13 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: pahunkboy

quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself

rabbit shit tastes just like chocolate raisins.



Would you be so kind as to demonstrate for us?



...just ask holly...[8|]



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