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Do mistresses love their slaves, or just use them? - 3/9/2010 11:46:54 PM   
cdn1slvnlvr


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Joined: 11/30/2008
Status: offline 		Do mistresses love their slaves, or just use them?


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RE: Do mistresses love their slaves, or just use them? - 3/10/2010 12:00:41 AM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline 		Everytime I have met a mistress, she began to love me even more than her shoes. What can I say it's just the course of nature.

So in my experience 100% of mistresses love their slaves.

Cheers,

Sea

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RE: Do mistresses love their slaves, or just use them? - 3/10/2010 1:43:49 AM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: cdn1slvnlvr

Do mistresses love their slaves, or just use them?





You'll find some who do and some who don't. I don't have slaves, I date submissive men. A few of them I loved and adored deeply, the rest I genuinely liked and was very fond of.

- LA

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RE: Do mistresses love their slaves, or just use them? - 3/10/2010 2:45:48 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		Romantinc love? No. Our (My) boy is a gay man and We are a mostly-het woman. Doesn't work out. We have a boyfriend whom We love.

Love as in cherish and care for? You betcha. It (he) is an extension of Us. To not love it is to not love Ourself.

Master Fire




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RE: Do mistresses love their slaves, or just use them? - 3/10/2010 2:49:40 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Why do people talk about love like it is something they can order off of the fast food menu?

Do I love My slave today?  Yes.  Did I start out from moment one loving him?  No.

I can't possibly be the only one out here who thinks love is something that grows over time.


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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

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RE: Do mistresses love their slaves, or just use them? - 3/10/2010 2:52:11 AM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Why do people talk about love like it is something they can order off of the fast food menu?

Do I love My slave today?  Yes.  Did I start out from moment one loving him?  No.

I can't possibly be the only one out here who thinks love is something that grows over time.



Maybe the OP was phrased badly, but I read it as 'is it possible for mistresses to love their slaves after time together?', rather than 'do all mistresses love their slaves from the word go?', which would be an unbearably silly question.


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RE: Do mistresses love their slaves, or just use them? - 3/10/2010 3:03:07 AM   
Amanece


Posts: 19
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: San Juan, Puerto Rico
Status: offline 		All love is in me- bountiful, nurturing, joy-filled...and I share it with my sub. Of course, it makes the relationship so special!

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RE: Do mistresses love their slaves, or just use them? - 3/10/2010 3:07:25 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		I know it seems contradictory, cdn, but mistresses can and often do love their slaves, as well as use them, at the same time. 

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RE: Do mistresses love their slaves, or just use them? - 3/10/2010 4:14:43 AM   
MsStarlett


Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline 		When a sadist beats a masochist, that IS love.  In a way.  It is fulfilling a deep, emotional and physical need.  When the two people 'click' on that level, it can be much more binding than plain vanilla sex which can be a very superficial enjoyment.  Naturally, I cannot speak for others, only share what I have experianced.

Yes, I have had 'romantic' love for two of my boys.  I had 'lust' for many more, which many can confuse with love.  I am very fond of Wall-e, the one who has been with me the longest but visits least often.  (Perhaps absence really does make the heart grow fonder.)  With each relationship, I have learned a few things about myself.  And I have learned that the BDSM is far better when there is an emotional connection.  Very much the way sex is better with someone you love than with a causal hook up, a 'session' is better with someone you care for.

*giggle*  Just FYI - I had a session with my Wall-e last Thursday.  He had sent me a short 'thank you' note telling me that he got home safely Friday or Saturday.  Then he did not return my Email for a few days.  I sent him a "Where the hell are you?  Have you already forgotten about me?  You selfish, ungrateful bastard!" note yesterday.  He replied immediately in total 'sub mode'.  "Love" has many faces.



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RE: Do mistresses love their slaves, or just use them? - 3/10/2010 4:27:35 AM   
allthatjaz


Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline 		I have to see a person before I can see the sub/slave. I don't fall in love with that person because they submit to me (though that is part of it) I fall in love with them for the person they are, the person they give me. The more I love him/her, the more easily I can dominate him/her. Everything else is mild in comparison. I can't truly dominate a person I don't have some emotional feelings for. I can stage an act but if they can't get into my soul and me into theirs then I can't start a positive journey with them and all I have is entertainment.
I have had subs who I felt nothing for. That was up until the point of looking in a guys eyes and recognizing my adoration for him and only then did I grasp just how beautiful his submission was to me.

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RE: Do mistresses love their slaves, or just use them? - 3/10/2010 5:13:04 AM   
GraciousLady


Posts: 529
Joined: 7/7/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cdn1slvnlvr

Do mistresses love their slaves, or just use them?



I think the answer is as varied as people. There is no absolute answer when it comes to emotions.

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RE: Do mistresses love their slaves, or just use them? - 3/10/2010 6:01:41 AM   
theGuideGoddess


Posts: 135
Joined: 11/8/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz

I have to see a person before I can see the sub/slave. I don't fall in love with that person because they submit to me (though that is part of it) I fall in love with them for the person they are, the person they give me. The more I love him/her, the more easily I can dominate him/her. Everything else is mild in comparison. I can't truly dominate a person I don't have some emotional feelings for. I can stage an act but if they can't get into my soul and me into theirs then I can't start a positive journey with them and all I have is entertainment.
I have had subs who I felt nothing for. That was up until the point of looking in a guys eyes and recognizing my adoration for him and only then did I grasp just how beautiful his submission was to me.


BINGO!  Lust strikes immediate; love more often grows over time.  Although I have known several men to describe falling in love at first sight and determining they would marry THAT woman and set out in the pursuit of that endeavor.  Lust will most often wane with time.  First a submissive/slave must recognize that there are many types of love.  I can’t imagine wanting to own something I didn’t love.  I could imagine wanting to use something I didn’t love.  From that I would assume that many dominants love their subs on some level.  Just as there are likely some slaves who seek ownership and not love.

Little is more irritating than a perfect stranger saying someone is not dominant simply based on the fact that one has chosen not to dominate them.  I think that in order to fully dominate someone that there must be very deep and intimate knowledge of that individual to take that complete ownership.  

Ultimately I suppose it is all relative and dependant upon what one is seeking in a relationship.  With communication one should have clarity on whether the one they are interacting with is suited to meet their specific needs.   

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RE: Do mistresses love their slaves, or just use them? - 3/10/2010 6:14:01 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cdn1slvnlvr

Do mistresses love their slaves, or just use them?





In my case it would be both.

~Lashra


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RE: Do mistresses love their slaves, or just use them? - 3/10/2010 4:14:45 PM   
LadyNTrainer


Posts: 1584
Joined: 5/20/2009
Status: offline 		Sonnet for Slave

Held fast by steel, you know the soft caress
This paradox transcendent and rare
The hand that closes fiercely in your hair
Claiming past consent with strange and savage tenderness
Painting passion crimson on your breast
Yet says your name as softly as a prayer.
I mark your willing flesh to write the things I should not dare
And hope you hear what I shall there confess
In the leather's kiss, for how can I say
"I love you" any other way?

< Message edited by LadyNTrainer -- 3/10/2010 4:15:00 PM >

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RE: Do mistresses love their slaves, or just use them? - 3/10/2010 4:18:29 PM   
fadedshadow


Posts: 751
Joined: 4/27/2009
From: a place
Status: offline 		my mistress loves me very much =]

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RE: Do mistresses love their slaves, or just use them? - 3/10/2010 4:36:16 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		I simply wouldn't have believed those sentiments a few years ago, LadyN.  The OP's question goes to one of the main reasons I didn't believe Dommes existed.  I thought it was psychologically impossible for them to exist.  How can you love a man, yet use him, or hurt his body (or, worse, his mind)?  It made no sense. 

< Message edited by PeonForHer -- 3/10/2010 4:37:06 PM >

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RE: Do mistresses love their slaves, or just use them? - 3/10/2010 4:45:07 PM   
LadyNTrainer


Posts: 1584
Joined: 5/20/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
I simply wouldn't have believed those sentiments a few years ago, LadyN.  The OP's question goes to one of the main reasons I didn't believe Dommes existed.  I thought it was psychologically impossible for them to exist.  How can you love a man, yet use him, or hurt his body (or, worse, his mind)?  It made no sense. 


How could I not love a man who offers me his body and mind to hurt and to use?


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RE: Do mistresses love their slaves, or just use them? - 3/10/2010 4:51:28 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		OK, to play devil's advocate:

Because no woman loves a man who's lost his self respect, and still less would she love him if he'd deliberately thrown it away.

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RE: Do mistresses love their slaves, or just use them? - 3/10/2010 4:58:02 PM   
LadyNTrainer


Posts: 1584
Joined: 5/20/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

OK, to play devil's advocate:

Because no woman loves a man who's lost his self respect, and still less would she love him if he'd deliberately thrown it away.


Are you assuming that a man's self respect has to be tied to his dominance?  The archetype of the suffering chivalrous knight who willingly undergoes ordeals of torment, deprivation or denial in service to his Lady does not lack for self respect.  He loses self respect and the respect of his peers only if he fails in his ideals of honor, chivalry and nobility.  Submission is an integral part of those ideals.


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RE: Do mistresses love their slaves, or just use them? - 3/10/2010 5:08:14 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		True - I Iike the chivalrous knight image and it works for me to an extent.  But only an extent.  In those myths the knight undergoes those ordeals with gritted teeth as means towards an end - saving his Lady, snatching the potion from the dragon's lair, whatever.  He doesn't get turned on by being hurt during these trials  and it's never the Lady, herself, who is inflicting those hurts upon him. 

A knight goes down on his knees to his Lady, just as a slave does - but the difference between a knight and a slave is always clear.  Or, at least, I can't think of a myth offhand where that hasn't been the case.

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