RE: What is this odd world that I live in? (Full Version)

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MasterSlaveLA -> RE: What is this odd world that I live in? (3/10/2010 11:58:28 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

I see a lot of those who posted points. However, I am a little uncomfortabe about making fun of people. So what if they look ridiculous? So what if I have no place wearing a mini skirt? So what if she looks rediculous in her bustier and hes in a cage? So what,so what, so what?  What about leaving your judgements a the door? What about acceptance?[sm=dunno.gif]


Your post misses the point... in a BIG way.  The majority of comments here have not been non-accepting or judgemental (i.e., righteousness), and to be blunt, this line of knee-jerk, politically correct thinking is a HUGE negative byproduct of the kink-collective (Star Trek 'Borg' reference for the 'Sex Trekkies').  The majority here have not deemed the kink community/scene illegal, demanded its abolishment, condemned those who partake of their kink-community, stated people are not free to do whatever flips their respective bagel, or whatever.  What you've witnessed here is PREFERENCE and the REASONING for said preference.  Nothing more.  That is not "judement"... again, just PREFERENCE; and one that does not include sharing some kink-utopian view.  JUDGEMENT IS NORMAL AND HEALTHY.  Judgement to damn that which is wrong (rape, abuse, tearing the wings off small insects, etc.), and judgement to embrace that which is wonderful (a new born, a puppy, Haagen-Dazs, etc.); all are based on JUDGEMENT... i.e., thinking, reasoning, and discernment.

If you like strawberry ice cream, but dislike mint-chip ice cream ('cause you ain't crazy about mint or chips), are you being "judgemental" against mint-chip ice cream?  No... you're simply stating (i) your personal preference, and (ii)  WHY you hold said preference.  Again, this knee-jerk politically correct cry of "acceptance" and/or "judgement" has always been an extremely off-putting byproduct of this kink-collective-group-think for me personally.  There's a difference... a BIG difference between that which is based in self-righteousness verses mere preference for what someone has determined to be outside of their own personal tastes as a normal, thinking, discerning adult.

Note:  None of the above is intended as an attack on you personally, rather, it's simply a reply to the "acceptance/judgement" commentary.




Im hardly part of the lifestyle. I do go to workshops and clubs on occasion. Usually with a boyfriend or just to watch.

What I have trouble with are those who come to criticise when they have had no experience.The OP is criticising an observation.  An absurdety which she has been a part of. I do admit feeling that at times. But its fun and amusing.

I admit I have a knee jerk reaction to judgments made without knowlege.


The OP certainly has "knowledge", as do I... as do others.

And for the record, I agree the "STD" comment made in this thread was stupid.  Although, considering the poster, I'm guessin' it might have been intended... i.e., just to raz people up.





Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: What is this odd world that I live in? (3/10/2010 12:08:42 PM)

Being a part of a XYZ community or not, won't change who I am as a person. I say this because I'm all too familar with the stages in other social "theaters". I do enjoy engaging in conversation with Wall flowers, they tend to not be so wrapped up in facades.

It's the same old bullshit, regardless if it's the Corperate World, Rock Bands, BDSM Community or otherwise. Same old shit just repackaged and branded differently.




kittinSol -> RE: What is this odd world that I live in? (3/10/2010 12:10:26 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4
It's the same old bullshit, regardless if it's the Corperate World, Rock Bands, BDSM Community or otherwise. Same old shit just repackaged and branded differently.


So true! Don't forget knitting circles, book clubs, PTAs, and The Scrapbooking League (the weirdest of the lot [8D]).




MasterSlaveLA -> RE: What is this odd world that I live in? (3/10/2010 12:15:52 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4

It's the same old bullshit, regardless if it's the Corperate World, Rock Bands, BDSM Community or otherwise.



Same Old Song & Dance
 
[:D]
 




Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: What is this odd world that I live in? (3/10/2010 12:17:58 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz
On Sunday we ran our usual fet market. As usual I laughed, chatted and embraced scene people. The day was hospitable, friendly and fun and yet under my smile I was cringing, wondering what I was doing.

As the strength in my relationship has grown, everything to do with this world has weakened. Im not sure why that is, if its normal ?
I do want to remain involved but not feeling like this. Its like I have woken up, looked at my world and gone 'WHAT???'

Has anyone else gone through this ?


I know the feelling of putting on that smile, and cringing asking myself WTF am I doing here/there and thinking about how perhaps my time would be better spent elseware around a different group of poeple. Generally, when I reach points like that, I tend to wander off and do my own thing. Little personal get away vacations where I end up doing something radically different, new and refreshing. Completely away 100% from whatever group of people and whatever it is that everybody is so damn wrapped up in. Life's too short, to let any one thing consume it fully.




domiguy -> RE: What is this odd world that I live in? (3/10/2010 12:32:11 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol


quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4
It's the same old bullshit, regardless if it's the Corperate World, Rock Bands, BDSM Community or otherwise. Same old shit just repackaged and branded differently.


So true! Don't forget knitting circles, book clubs, PTAs, and The Scrapbooking League (the weirdest of the lot [8D]).


I am sorry guys, but I have to disagree.

In the corporate world, at rock concerts, knitting circles, book clubs, PTA's or those hot pieces of ass that comprise the Scrapbooking League you will not find the degree of fucked "uppedness" that you routinely find out here.

I at one time thought that it was a group just like any other. That it was just a random swathe across America and would hold more or less the same equal amount of components as any other group.

I no longer fee that this is the case. There is just a stronger undercurrent of despair, hurt and loss that seems to permeate this thing that we do. It simply requires a better filtering system to keep the piss out of your pool.

I don't need to ever step into a dungeon or go to any bdsm event to know that I would find the majority of the participants to be rather creepy.

I am pretty fucking particular about who I choose to hang out with. Just because we share an interest in bdsm and kink does not even begin to qualify someone as being "community" material or someone that I would want to hang out with on any type of a regular basis.




Mercnbeth -> RE: What is this odd world that I live in? (3/10/2010 12:38:39 PM)

quote:

Now Merc, you are almost making the jump that to say because a person does not get involved in a local BDSM community, their only outlet and experience is on here. I believe that would be a very wrong statement.
No, LaTigresse, not even going to agree with the "almost" qualifier.

I don't see, and didn't post, there is anything wrong with being and staying exclusively on-line. I also didn't make involvement and participation in any 'community' event as prerequisite to being 'real'. I've taken quite a few people and couples to their first experience of the 'community'. That first experience ranged from munch to 'no limits' swingers events. I didn't keep track, but I think the results are close to 50/50 about them going back again, or not. Yet these people are still 'real', and still close friends in many occasions.

I segregate my experiences in life into to categories 'DI-DI-OT' or DI-DIA!'. Some experience the community once and it's a 'Did It - Done It - Over It'. Others go through the same experience and its 'Did It - Do It Again!'. I respect both positions. I don't challenge or need to understand the reasons for either unless their one time is their basis for representing their 'one true way'.

To illustrate how I see it, let's get back on the horse....

Someone comes to you saying that they hate horses, horseback riding and horse people. Their reason? Well, one time while drunk on spring break in Los Cabos Mexico they rode a horse on the beach. The horse bucked and they broke an ankle, and all the 'horse people' who were there laughed at them.

Or how about someone who hates horses not because of that first hand experience but because they heard and/or read about it on the internet?

Would you give their perspective legitimacy? Would you think their experience reflected you, as a horse-person, or horses in general?

To compare it to the 'community' in a similar 'fantasy world'. Would you take the expertise and quality of horse knowledge derived from a person coming from having experience limited to riding winged unicorns on the planet 'Gor'?

Silly huh?

However, my primary intent in responding to you was regarding your perceived 'arrogance' of the NYC experience. I appreciate that you didn't need to address it further and assume you understand my position wasn't arrogant. However if you still do my 'arrogance' in that regard is not limited to the 'community'.

Coming from NYC and traveling on business in my youth, I found myself in Montreal one bitter cold January. I wanted to see the sights, but my NYC leather jacket was no match for the weather. I thought I kill a day at the City's Museum of Art. My perspective was NYC's Art Museum. I'd been there more times than I could count and still can't represent to have seen it all. It took me 2 hours, reading almost every little card under the artwork, to be finished absorbing all the art there was to see. Does that represent my "arrogance" or my pragmatic reality?

Take care - and if you ever want to come to Folsom, or LA for that matter - we'd love to meet you and have you join us in the experience.




Smutmonger -> RE: What is this odd world that I live in? (3/10/2010 12:40:33 PM)

FR....

My main issue was always the control freaks who thought they had every right to tell me how to think,how to behave-who I had to defer to.

It goes across the board-I still get "slaves" here reading me the "pollyanna correctness act" for speaking what I feel. Sorry-no. I don't have to tolerate dysfunctional people who live in some sort of fucked up dream world.

I completely admit to being jaded, pragmatic, and cynical. Too much bullshit from these sorts has crossed my plate over the years. You want my tolerance?

Try showing some-works wonders.




NihilusZero -> RE: What is this odd world that I live in? (3/10/2010 12:54:27 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz


quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA


Personally, I've always found the whole thing beyond silly and little more than a costume party of sorts... one where when the costume/veil is removed, an insecure, failure, and twit of a person is often revealed. 




Now this cheered me up!
I think the majority of people are just out and having a good time but there are a good amount of the above too! Im going to have these disturbing visions of certain people removing their custumes now for the rest of the day [:D]

This is the same thing you will encounter anywhere there are groups of humans. Except in your normal dating scene, the masks are much less flamboyant. They all inevitably serve the dame purpose, though.

I think what you are describing isn't so much the pomp of everything as much as the substance. As the comfort of your relationships strengthens (which is a fundamental way most people gauge the fulfillment of their lives), you grow into a sense of openness in being. It brings on a sense of completion and success.

It also, however, casts a comparative tint on the desires, fears and desperations of everyone else who is acting the way they think they need to act to get to where you are: a relationship that feels like "home" (people usually develop a different demeanor when they have that, at least publicly).





FukinTroll -> RE: What is this odd world that I live in? (3/10/2010 12:54:53 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol


quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4
It's the same old bullshit, regardless if it's the Corperate World, Rock Bands, BDSM Community or otherwise. Same old shit just repackaged and branded differently.


So true! Don't forget knitting circles, book clubs, PTAs, and The Scrapbooking League (the weirdest of the lot [8D]).


We are not.

Slurp!




domiguy -> RE: What is this odd world that I live in? (3/10/2010 12:59:23 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth


To illustrate how I see it, let's get back on the horse....

Someone comes to you saying that they hate horses, horseback riding and horse people. Their reason? Well, one time while drunk on spring break in Los Cabos Mexico they rode a horse on the beach. The horse bucked and they broke an ankle, and all the 'horse people' who were there laughed at them.

Or how about someone who hates horses not because of that first hand experience but because they heard and/or read about it on the internet?

Would you give their perspective legitimacy? Would you think their experience reflected you, as a horse-person, or horses in general?

To compare it to the 'community' in a similar 'fantasy world'. Would you take the expertise and quality of horse knowledge derived from a person coming from having experience limited to riding winged unicorns on the planet 'Gor'?

Silly huh?


What if they said the reason they dislike horses, horseback riding and horse people was because nearly every time they came into contact with them in the bulk they all emitted a very high creepy factor?

Why do so many of those horse people feel the need to dress up in black leather and rodeo fetish wear? Do horse people routinely talk in the third person? Why have so many horses and horse people been abused? Why do so many horses and horse people seek out unhealthy relationships? Why do horses and horse people that really live the horsey and horse people lifestyle come off to be nearly as crazy as Goreans? Why do so many horse and horse people have the hardest of times making sense of the easiest of life's problems?

These are the reasons I don't ride horses and stay away from those fucking rodeos and the people that frequent the rodeo lifestyle. They are so often caricatures or extremely close facsimiles of actual real live people. But they are off, they have a slight stench, like they were buried in the pet cemetery. It might not be detectable from a distance but up close the smell is fairly repugnant. They should be avoided.




kittinSol -> RE: What is this odd world that I live in? (3/10/2010 1:05:16 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

I am pretty fucking particular about who I choose to hang out with. Just because we share an interest in bdsm and kink does not even begin to qualify someone as being "community" material or someone that I would want to hang out with on any type of a regular basis.



*Mortally wounded*.




Jeffff -> RE: What is this odd world that I live in? (3/10/2010 1:07:07 PM)

You are somewhat bangable......... he would probably hang out with you




KITTYLECTRO -> RE: What is this odd world that I live in? (3/10/2010 1:07:07 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz
Perhaps its parties where everyone wears black. Why black, its such a dismal color.

Hey!
I always wear black and I'm purring happy most of the time!




LaTigresse -> RE: What is this odd world that I live in? (3/10/2010 1:14:45 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth


I don't see, and didn't post, there is anything wrong with being and staying exclusively on-line. I also didn't make involvement and participation in any 'community' event as prerequisite to being 'real'. I've taken quite a few people and couples to their first experience of the 'community'. That first experience ranged from munch to 'no limits' swingers events. I didn't keep track, but I think the results are close to 50/50 about them going back again, or not. Yet these people are still 'real', and still close friends in many occasions.


To illustrate how I see it, let's get back on the horse....

Someone comes to you saying that they hate horses, horseback riding and horse people. Their reason? Well, one time while drunk on spring break in Los Cabos Mexico they rode a horse on the beach. The horse bucked and they broke an ankle, and all the 'horse people' who were there laughed at them.

Or how about someone who hates horses not because of that first hand experience but because they heard and/or read about it on the internet?

Would you give their perspective legitimacy? Would you think their experience reflected you, as a horse-person, or horses in general?

To compare it to the 'community' in a similar 'fantasy world'. Would you take the expertise and quality of horse knowledge derived from a person coming from having experience limited to riding winged unicorns on the planet 'Gor'?

Silly huh?

However, my primary intent in responding to you was regarding your perceived 'arrogance' of the NYC experience. I appreciate that you didn't need to address it further and assume you understand my position wasn't arrogant. However if you still do my 'arrogance' in that regard is not limited to the 'community'.



I am just keeping what I will address.

Regarding the online. My only point is that, I don't see whether or not people get involved in a community/group as a qualifier as to whether or not the kink/activities are an actual physical part of their lives and relationships. I have no positive opinion about people that live in an exclusively online world involving any sort of relationship/activity.

As for whether or not I care about people that say they hate horses or why. I do not care. It does not matter to me AT ALL whether or not someone adores or detests horses. If all they want to do is collect photos of them and hang them on their wall. It does not affect me or my experience. I just have no give a damn about their perspective or legitimacy. I feel the same way about many of the 'experts' in the horse world so it really does not matter.

As for arrogance.....that also really does not matter. I know that we can have this discussion and not get our boxers/panties in a wad and still enjoy one another's company if we ever do meet. I enjoy discussing interesting topics with people that have different opinions than I.




Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: What is this odd world that I live in? (3/10/2010 2:04:34 PM)

Now Now, don't slam the rural life Domiguy. If it was not for that I'd never would have been exposed to holding a whip or crop in my hand way back in my childhood years. I myself have even rode horse. Hell, have a picture of me when I was like 5 years old on a horse even. Though, I'm not a die hard horse freak. One branch my family raised Morgans. But even when it comes to horses, I'm always cautious around Arbians. I've not figured out which I revere more yet, an Arbian (horse) or a Pit Bull (dog). Then again, I don't own either (safe and sane according to my own personal tastes). Wait, I don't own horses cause I don't want to literally be saddled down with all the responsbility involved, the same is true with dogs at this point in time. I do own a kitty cat and it tends to be rather low maintenance. I can go leave the house for a day or two without too much worry.

Dude, there are some seriously fucked up people in all walks of life. Now, it just might be a little more obvious when it comes to BDSM because it's a bit of a freak show.

Still there are people trying to impress other people with how far they can go with things, there are some very real people with fucked up issues. Regardless if it shows up saturday night at local Dungeon, earlier sat afternoon at the scrapbooking club, Wednesday Afternoon at a business meeting, or a thurday night PTA meeting.

It just varies in it's intensity.. Sort of like Light Beer to Heavy Dark Ales, Foo Foo Drinks to shots to doing wild turkey bourbon. If you're really theatrical, you can always do tequila poppers.. having a towel around your neck, with somebody blowing a whistle in your ear, while the tequilla pours down your throat.. to end up having a hand over your mouth and shaking your head back and forth until it goes down. Very Theatrical display of drinking talent! Along with Jello body Shots. Slurppy tasty... People literally putting on a show of how fucked up they can truely be or get. Wait I forget about the Mighty Mighty Beer Bong or Beer funnel. If you don't know how to properly funnel beer here's an instructional Video "How To Funnel Beer" here's the The Beer Bong Movie

But wait.. there's still more to our fine drinking get fucked up sub-culture.

Beer Pong, there's even a World Series for Beer Pong.. Some people have elvated to new levels with Electronic Beer Pong Tables Not to mention other popular drinking games such as Up the River and Down The River, not to mention Quaters

Now All this is pretty fucked up, with people getting literally fucked and doing fucked up things.... all without BDSM involved what-so-ever. Actually, it's probally safer getting your body parts flogged and beaten or being tied and hung upside down at a local dungeon compared to the risks of associated with drinking too much. ;^)

However, there's a lot of theatrical aspects involved in either case.




LaTigresse -> RE: What is this odd world that I live in? (3/10/2010 2:17:44 PM)

Wanna see a bunch of fucked up people and a lot of theatrical drama..........go to a big horse event. A whole bunch of weird people that all think they are experts.

Whip, I will not tell my boys what you think of their family tree.




Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: What is this odd world that I live in? (3/10/2010 2:34:13 PM)

For Rural Culture blended into things...

Cattle Prod Dual
Cattle Prod Gaming
CATTLE PROD POKER

Now seriously, I've been Zapped in the ASS by one of these fine implements and have Zapped others. Just for the Fun of it.. Wait, is it accepted that this did not happen at a dungeon? Ummmmmm....




FukinTroll -> RE: What is this odd world that I live in? (3/10/2010 2:38:35 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4

For Rural Culture blended into things...

Cattle Prod Dual
Cattle Prod Gaming
CATTLE PROD POKER

Now seriously, I've been Zapped in the ASS by one of these fine implements and have Zapped others. Just for the Fun of it.. Wait, is it accepted that this did not happen at a dungeon? Ummmmmm....


One day my fine young man you will ascend and achieve a state of enlightenment that will allow you to understand the cosmos, the universe... the very fabric of the multiverese on an energetic level and you will find a truth... and understanding...

That if you are nutty enough you can carry the dungeon around in your mind and everything will be appropriate everywhere.

SLURP!




LaTigresse -> RE: What is this odd world that I live in? (3/10/2010 2:46:15 PM)

And the willow branch, fresh off the tree, I used down by the creek one day.......totally disqualified I am sure.

None of my 'horse tack' will gain me any points either.




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