RE: What is this odd world that I live in?

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FukinTroll -> RE: What is this odd world that I live in? (3/10/2010 2:48:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LaTigresse And the willow branch fresh off the tree, I used down by the creek one day.......totally disqualified I am sure. Not at all, lust of my life... I fully understand the headspace of the mobile dungeon and I am sure yours is there too! SLURP!

Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: What is this odd world that I live in? (3/10/2010 2:48:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FukinTroll quote: ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4 For Rural Culture blended into things... Cattle Prod Dual Cattle Prod Gaming CATTLE PROD POKER Now seriously, I've been Zapped in the ASS by one of these fine implements and have Zapped others. Just for the Fun of it.. Wait, is it accepted that this did not happen at a dungeon? Ummmmmm.... One day my fine young man you will ascend and achieve a state of enlightenment that will allow you to understand the cosmos, the universe... the very fabric of the multiverese on an energetic level and you will find a truth... and understanding... That if you are nutty enough you can carry the dungeon around in your mind and everything will be appropriate everywhere. SLURP! I've swore off ascending at all costs... I rather enjoy the primative primevil nature of things at times. I fear true enlightment, the cosmos is to the likes of Carl Sagan and Trekkie Conventions. Last thing you'll ever see me do is dress up like Klingon, or dawn a tibetan monk outfit. Everything does have it proper place in the Cosmos.. however for every nut there is a squirel though.

littlewonder -> RE: What is this odd world that I live in? (3/10/2010 3:11:11 PM)
I went through this years ago when I came to the realization I have very little in common with the "scene" and just didn't fit in anywhere. I still feel that way. I stopped going to clubs and all that other stuff, I don't really have any "kink" friends, don't really partake in the "lifestyle". What I do have though is a wonderful relationship with a man who I adore. I still may visit a dungeon from time to time to use the equipment but once there I'm once again reminded of why I don't do it very often. I just find that I don't mesh well with the others who attend on a regular basis. I would say don't worry about it and don't feel like you have to belong or anything like that. Enjoy your life, enjoy your relationship.

PrimalConsonance -> RE: What is this odd world that I live in? (3/10/2010 5:15:29 PM)
We enjoy the "scene" as it were and we also enjoy our relationship in private. I don't worry too much about whether people are too old or too fat to be wearing the outfits they are wearing. What I usually see at clubs or BDSM events are people of all ages and body types enjoying themselves, some of them doing quite interesting things. Recently we were at an event and I quietly observed a scene that was breathtaking in its intensity. A Dominant cutting her slaves hair, she clearly did not want it to be cut, but submitted. The emotion was palpable and it was fascinating to watch. The people involved were not all that attractive, or young, or "appropriately" dressed, but it didn't seem to matter. There may have been some people on the perimeter snickering behind their hands, but I didn't notice, and I am quite sure that they did not either.

SimplyMichael -> RE: What is this odd world that I live in? (3/10/2010 5:27:35 PM)
And so ends what could have been a rather fascinating and inciteful discussion...I wish some of you would stay down in the stupid section.

Smutmonger -> RE: What is this odd world that I live in? (3/10/2010 5:37:51 PM)
I could do with a few less slurps-but that's what the ignore button is for.

ModeratorSeven -> RE: What is this odd world that I live in? (3/10/2010 8:00:53 PM)
[sm=mop.gif] Now that we cleaned this thread up a little, I'd like to remind you all that the Random Stupidity lounge is open to all those that wish to post well... Random Stupidities! Some people actually enjoy a serious conversation now and then. Please be respectful.

UniqueRaven -> RE: What is this odd world that I live in? (3/10/2010 8:15:46 PM)
Like others here, i have always felt that slave is "what i am" and the expression of that is a private act between myself and my Owner/Master. i've never felt that it was something to be acted out amongst others "just for fun." i've gone to clubs, groups, dungeons, etc., with my ex Master - and found that really, if i'm not feeling that intimate connection with someone, it's only so much theatre. It just never did anything for me other than be entertaining - or, during the times i was beaten on display - i was the one doing the entertaining. This reminds me of the experience i had in NYC with my ex Master that kind of "shut us off" us going out for public play anymore. We were at Paddles, and he had me hung up in the back room and was using a flogger to beat clothespins off of my breasts. Behind him had to have been at least 20 single guys that were there just watching - i know they would have loved to have been wanking too but that wasn't allowed. They kept pushing in closer, and closer, to where several times my ex had to tell them to just "back off already" so he could swing his arm. He had his back to them, i was facing them - and all i could see was eyes, all these eyes watching me during what was a very intimate moment between myself and my Master. It was very creepy and i had a sense of being consumed in some way. Now i know others would have totally found that scene hot. But i didn't, and my ex found it annoying. There was no "fun" in this. It was theatre, for show, and for us, unauthentic. i much prefer the intimacy, and the privacy that my quiet service to my Owner allows - and best serve a man who enjoys that himself. It's quite beautiful, really. So no, i would not say i'm part of that "world" - i'm simply me, and this is how i am, and it is for my Owner, in peaceful, happy servitude. [:)]

Smutmonger -> RE: What is this odd world that I live in? (3/10/2010 8:40:34 PM)
Raven,this is also one main reason I quit going-"voyouer feeders" I remember many years ago when we had a venue here in Seattle called "The beyond the Edge cafe". They had a little tiny room in the basement where you could take a date and play. The owner at the time let anyone come in off the street and pay five bucks to ogle the odd people. I went down with a date one night to do a simple flogging scene,and the looky loos were all around the walls...and two deep on the floor. They all looked at us ever so expectantly-you could almost see them drool. I was not amused by this,and said to her' Good god! There isn't room left to swing a cat in here!" And we went home to play instead. I later heard that some of these same looky loos complained to the establishment owner about the lack of "a show" for thier precious five dollars. She just said.."There were 30 of you down there-why didn't you make YOUR own show?"

Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: What is this odd world that I live in? (3/10/2010 9:16:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: UniqueRaven ..It was very creepy and i had a sense of being consumed in some way. Ironic, these words resonate with me. Which is one of the very things that leads to me withdrawling from the music scene for periods of time. When things are no longer fun, when it stops being authentic, void of being able to connect with other people on intimate levels. Different Threater, Different scene, same net effect of being consumed. I've been keeping away from the music scene for a few monthes now, I even make it a point to go out only on off nights during the week. Yesterday when I was out at the Grocery store, trying to figure out what brand of Italian Bread I was going to buy, had a girl encrouch within my 2 foot personal space zone. Asking me how I was doing and where I was going to be playing out next. My Brains internal facial and voice recognition software failed to come up with a match to who the hell she was. I seem to have a love hate relationship with the whole music scene in general. When it reaches a certain level when I'm starting to feel consumed by it all, I'll take a break from it. I rather not become a slave to any scene, end up having my social life revolve around it. Worse yet having my life scheduled around it none stop week after week. I've never been or became caught up in the BDSM scene per se, not on the formal scale of Dungeons and clubs. If I'm in the mood for entertaining people, I have another outlet for that, one that does not directly involve somebody I'm intimately involved with. But trust me, the Music Scene does/can effect your partner too. In ways that might not seem apparent at first. Being consumed in some way, in many ways, in certain ways.. The music scene, The bar scene, The club scene, the everything can become crazy scene. Rolling in the door at 4 am in the morning. The people that seem to know you by name, yet you don't know them at all. I wish, I could sincerely sit down and write a long list of positives about the music scene or any scene itself. Just that it's all great and good for awhile, but the moment it starts to no longer be fun and you start to loose a certain connection, I've found it best to say game over for awhile. I'd rather be naked and free laying on a beach in a tropical island, sipping down drinks and enjoying peace and tranquility. I'm sort of island unto myself, extremely socialable yet distant at the same time.

Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: What is this odd world that I live in? (3/10/2010 9:29:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Smutmonger Raven,this is also one main reason I quit going-"voyouer feeders" I remember many years ago when we had a venue here in Seattle called "The beyond the Edge cafe". They had a little tiny room in the basement where you could take a date and play. The owner at the time let anyone come in off the street and pay five bucks to ogle the odd people. I went down with a date one night to do a simple flogging scene,and the looky loos were all around the walls...and two deep on the floor. They all looked at us ever so expectantly-you could almost see them drool. I was not amused by this,and said to her' Good god! There isn't room left to swing a cat in here!" And we went home to play instead. I later heard that some of these same looky loos complained to the establishment owner about the lack of "a show" for thier precious five dollars. She just said.."There were 30 of you down there-why didn't you make YOUR own show?" Damn, while I've never been in that situation. I might have come up with a "If you are gonna be in this room rule", such as if you are going to be in here, you have to first be flogged by her if you wanna watch. Just saying some times you can actually capitalize upon fine moments like this. Although, you might not have been formally able to get away with it, You might have been able to informally get away with it. Who here is man enough to take the flogger by this subbie girl. LOL... Step right up, Step right up! (putting on a Carney Voice). My mind works in twisted ways. Hell, I know myself and I probally would end up doing and saying exactly what I just expressed here. If I was asked to leave, so be it! Go back home laughing my ass off on the drive home. Just to end up doing what? Playing in a less crowded and free intimate space. Plus, I'd be able to fuck if I damn well felt like it without fear of breaking any club/dungeon rules. Best part, is being able to make a trip to my own fridge get a beverage.. jump into my own shower if I felt like it. Screw the room packed layer upon layer of peeking monkeys. Wait I might have seen about recuiting a sadistic Domme for laying on the loving room enterance rule. Oh course the more guys that do it, puts added pressure for others to man-up enough to comply. Wicked laugh!! Scratch these thoughts, I'm reminded of why I'm not big into subjecting certain aspects of my life for public viewing.

Smutmonger -> RE: What is this odd world that I live in? (3/10/2010 9:38:22 PM)
Alas,it was not to be. A "dungeon hog" showed up soon after and was there on weekends all the time. Very few of the rest of us got to play. They even opened another room to try to counter it-and he hogged the larger of the two. I started working on my own play room after that.

Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: What is this odd world that I live in? (3/10/2010 9:49:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Smutmonger Alas,it was not to be. A "dungeon hog" showed up soon after and was there on weekends all the time. Very few of the rest of us got to play. They even opened another room to try to counter it-and he hogged the larger of the two. I started working on my own play room after that. That's actually sad, that some people are like that to the point it wrecks it for other people. Time limits with turns. Damn, the kind of stuff people should have learned in grade school about taking turns. I'm actually sitting here thinking for a moment, about the fact that some places provide equipment and stuff that people don't have at home. I can imagine how somebody hogging things up can ruin it for others quickly. Sort of becomes pointless to go out and end up watching somebody else. Like going to a Gym and not being about to use any of the equipment.

Smutmonger -> RE: What is this odd world that I live in? (3/10/2010 10:01:03 PM)
A lot of people have to worry about noise too-or have children. I had a tolerant roomie,and no kids around. The next incarnation of the club was the opposite. Plenty of room and stations,not waiting too long-but there were just tons of swingers there-very annoying. And a very noisy peanut gallery and music cranked to 70-80 decibels to drown out screaming getting out to the street. That didn't work too well for my focus either. I made mention of it online on one of thier lists-the prevailing attitude was "That's how it is, quit whining." Oh well..I just quit attending anything public. I can do a lot with an extra forty bucks-and no waiting,and no bullshit from the crowd there either.

brainiacsub -> RE: What is this odd world that I live in? (3/11/2010 2:18:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kittinSol Still, Tigresse, I must say it's a little weird when people make their most intimate relationships into something like a hobby. Isn't this the real problem, though? Sex, for too many, is no longer about intimacy, but instead has become performance art. There have been many threads over the years here discussing the preponderance of mental health disorders that seem to be disproportionately represented among those active in "the lifestyle." These disorders often manifest themselves as the inability to share intimacy in a healthy way. The scene is a perfect cover for these people. Now, I am not suggesting that everyone who participates in their local community is mentally unhealthy, but if you show up to one of these events, look to your left and look to your right and I'd bet money that at least one of them would qualify.

allthatjaz -> RE: What is this odd world that I live in? (3/11/2010 2:29:33 AM)
There are private dungeons people can hire and there are clubs with lockable rooms for private and intimate play. I don't and never have understood why someone would try and play discreetly in the middle of a busy club or in a place where voyeurs have obvious access. Someone getting in the way of an ongoing scene is not on, unacceptable. Its happened to me many times, especially at the bigger clubs in London but a usual waft of my hand gets rid of them and if it doesn't then I just make sure I catch them with the end of my flogger. I would of said that the majority of people that scene in clubs do it because they enjoy an audience. Nothing wrong with exhibitionism but to do that your going to need voyeurs. So long as the voyeurs stand well back and keep their hands to themselves then all should be fine. At the start of this thread I stated that I had been absorbed and drenched in the scene. I think I need to clarify what that doesn't mean. It didn't mean that I never rode my horses or stopped me swimming on a daily basis. It doesn't mean I couldn't sail through a force 8 and scream with delight as a big wave threatened to consume my boat, it didn't mean I couldn't go into the studio and paint a picture or go into my kitchen and cook up some fancy new recipe and it didn't mean I never got quality time with my family. It also didn't mean I caught the clap as DG pointed out but then he's an expert at turning any discussion into a wide joke. Virtually everything scene related happens at the weekend. My life was entwined with scene and normal. My main income came from running something scene related and my partner ran a dungeon furniture hire company. when you do that kind of thing for a living you have great fun, earn good money but become very consumed in the whole thing. When your doing this kind of work you get invited to all the parties because people like and expect you to show support. My scene life has been much more about social gatherings and I always found them fun and friendly but back then I was living with a guy that had no interest in any of this behind closed doors and who most certainly resented me coming on a site like this. The scene back then was my one and only outlet for any of this. More recently my life has changed fairly dramatically and I have found someone very unique and incredibly special. We have lots of fun behind closed doors and he's more than happy for me to come on sites like this and join discussions. Its not really surprising that the scene no longer holds for me what it once did.

allthatjaz -> RE: What is this odd world that I live in? (3/11/2010 2:32:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: brainiacsub quote: ORIGINAL: kittinSol Still, Tigresse, I must say it's a little weird when people make their most intimate relationships into something like a hobby. Isn't this the real problem, though? Sex, for too many, is no longer about intimacy, but instead has become performance art. There have been many threads over the years here discussing the preponderance of mental health disorders that seem to be disproportionately represented among those active in "the lifestyle." These disorders often manifest themselves as the inability to share intimacy in a healthy way. The scene is a perfect cover for these people. Now, I am not suggesting that everyone who participates in their local community is mentally unhealthy, but if you show up to one of these events, look to your left and look to your right and I'd bet money that at least one of them would qualify. Lol at least they have a shared hobby but I think you would find many people in clubs are single! Does sex have to be about intimacy? Do people have sex when they go to these sort of clubs? Some people are into being a slave, some into being Dominant, some people are into pony play, cross dressing, wearing latex or being an EXHIBITIONIST. Your post sounds very intolerant.

Aileen1968 -> RE: What is this odd world that I live in? (3/11/2010 2:36:06 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: domiguy quote: ORIGINAL: allthatjaz I am jaded. That is my problem. The one thing in life that I would stand up and fight for apart from my family is the fact that we can do this if we want and not do it if we don't want. We have the right to club and workshop and munch and we have a right not to. The scene, regardless of my mood is a liberating place. Its a place that I have had the good fortune to spend many happy years in. It is not full of clowns and fools as some of you none scene people suggest. It has its share of crazies but then so does this site. I get jaded with this site far more often than I do with scene life. Michael wrote an excellent post and I totally agree with what he is saying Life goes on, the scene goes on in all its glory and I may have a grumble and a moan but the one person I will be ever grateful to is the man who walked me on his arm into my very first fet club. How do you know that it is a liberating place? How can I be sure that you are not one of the crazies? You want honesty? Then let's do honesty. I don't think you are jaded I think you are wacked out. Almost every poster that talks about being involved heavily into the scene or their local community I think I would chose to avoid like the clap. It never fucking fails. I dig the folks that can just roll with this shit and not let it consume them. I don't believe you. I think you would have been much better off if you walked into a museum or a library or the art institute on his arm rather than some seedy fet club. You would have stayed whole while still digging your thang. Sorry. Heavy sir. Yes, but it had to be said. We've gone to public dungeons, private dungeons and even spied on a munch or two. Not because we've found it liberating or because we want to be part of the "community", but because we are people watchers and this is like Freak Show Heaven. For no other reason than disbelieving, head shaking entertainment. We also have sat on the steps of the Met, walked casino floors, eaten at fine restaurants and tilted back a cold one in really local south Jersey bars and just have eagerly watched people. Gotta say that the most contrived people that just really looked like they were going through that bit of life as if it was a script were those in the bdsm venues.

allthatjaz -> RE: What is this odd world that I live in? (3/11/2010 2:43:46 AM)
You know what. This site is possibly the most intolerant site I have yet had the pleasure of coming to. Someone who is into this but will go to a fet night to watch and laugh at 'a freak show' is sad voyeurism. For any exhibitionists out there. Im sure you know there are people who will actually do things like this. Just have the attitude 'WHO FUCKING WELL CARES'

Aileen1968 -> RE: What is this odd world that I live in? (3/11/2010 2:50:21 AM)
We actually don't fall down laughing until we get outside.... To deny that there isn't a bizarro factor to the public scene is unrealistic.

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