Just a few thoughts on respect in the D/s world

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Just a few thoughts on respect in the D/s world - 3/31/2006 5:58:38 AM

ReneeMoon

Posts: 1
Joined: 7/10/2005
Status: offline

hello A/all This post is just to introduce myself and vent a little about my experiences here at collarme. I have been here for a few months now. I am a Domme (not a pro) who is very old guard. I believe in protocol, and also in respect, honesty, and politeness to everyone whether D or s..and to other people in general.
First of all, here I have encountered mostly subs who are looking for online fun and fantasy..which is fine if that is their preference. However my profile does state clearly that I am looking for real people and real encounters.
Secondly....if I do send a message to someone whose profile I find intriguing..I often times do not get a reply. Now..I understand completely that I might not be that subs cup of tea (agewise, looks, whatever) However..I have to wonder out loud, if part of the problem some of these subs are having finding a Mistress lies in the fact that they are so disrespectful of Dominants in general. I have received some wonderful replies from subs.."thank you Ma'am, but I have just begun communicating with someone else" "thank you Ma'am, but I am looking for someone closer to my own age" etc. These subs are the ones that are probably finding Mistresses..they are respectful..and have the decency to answer a Domme even if the answer is " not interested"
I guess I am old fashioned in that I believe you treat others how you wish to be treated..so I have to wonder if the subs that are whining about not finding anyone, are partially to blame themselves.
That being said..I have fun on this site..I enjoy reading about others and I enjoy reading the message boards..so I will probably keep my profile here. I will just continue attending munches and even more lifestyle events and make that my focus. I like to think positively..the perfect 24/7 slave is out there waiting for me somewhere ! :)

Be well A/all

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RE: Just a few thoughts on respect in the D/s world - 3/31/2006 1:41:09 PM

CelticPrince

Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline

ReneeMoon,

Welcome to CM and that which it has to offer. Trust me when I say that all Traditional "D"s has an ongoing adjusment to make with the new agers that just are not interested in protocols or even learning of their benefits

Good Luck

CP

(in reply to ReneeMoon)

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RE: Just a few thoughts on respect in the D/s world - 4/1/2006 6:35:53 AM

cozisaidso

Posts: 1
Joined: 9/7/2004
Status: offline

Well said Reneemoon
Whilst not wanting to launch into a tirade (yawn) about how many morons there are on these sites, you're not wrong! Where are all the real and genuine poeple who want more than a quick shuffle in front of the pc!? I've been looking, off and on fgor a while, and found that people reaelty bother to read my profile, credit me with a response, or worse yet try to 'change' my orientation! Still, whilst I may grow old in the search for someone even vaguely resembling a normal and civilised male, I suppose one has to keep plodding on!!!

Keep the faith ;-)

(in reply to CelticPrince)

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RE: Just a few thoughts on respect in the D/s world - 4/1/2006 8:24:14 AM

TndrSdst

Posts: 7
Joined: 7/8/2005
Status: offline

Good Morning,
I just have to put my whips worth of comment on this post.
I have found that many many individuals utilize these titles in far to often the incorrect manner. Yet when we gentley point these things out, well shall we say the reation is very mixed. I too am of the old guard ways having been involved in one form or another from an early age. Where I see the differance is in the proper education of those involved. I could go on over all sorts of issues. However that will not be a positive thing to do. So all I can do is to assist those that ARE interested, that understand what it is they are saying.
I must say my favorite request is " Teach Me to Be a Dom. What is it about that question??? You do not teach someone to be a Dom. We can Teach almost anyone to use tools correctly, teach saftey ( we want our slaves and subs around for use for a long time), However Mindset is not something you teach. All of us come out of the Womb either Dominant Or Submissive, what life hands us along the way for the most part is what develops us to whom and what we are. I could go on into the pyschological proccess involved , howewver to dry for most. The mind is a terrible thing to waste.. and Many Doms and slaves and subs( or what ever other title may be used these days) waste it. A shame indeed.
And to Be fair, I find far to many Dominants who are unwilling or feel they never need to practise or better thenmselves. How can you claim to be in control of someone else if you can not control or be in control of yourself??
How can you understand the mindset of slaves and subs with out having had the experience of being there yourself???
Oh well , one slave at a time..one life at a time, we shall educate, flagellate,till they see the light. Till my next rant.. be well..

Flogginly Yours,
TndrSdst

(in reply to ReneeMoon)

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RE: Just a few thoughts on respect in the D/s world - 4/1/2006 9:01:33 AM

mp072004

Posts: 381
Joined: 12/22/2005
Status: offline

I would heartily agree with you, Renee, that it is right to politely and frankly express rejection, and that a failure to reply is impolite. I don't tend to get exercised about it anymore. Much like poor language, it seems a fact of online correspondence, and while I dislike it, it's not efficient for me to get angry each time it occurs.

However, I notice that you frame your objection in terms of disrespect to a dominant. I wonder if this means that you believe a submissive should write a polite rejection letter in response to a dominant's respectful expression of interest, but a dominant would not be so obliged should the positions be reversed. If this is your meaning, I would disagree. It is correct to respond in kind to courteous messages, regardless of power orientation.

Monica

(in reply to TndrSdst)

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