LadyAngelika
Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
|
First of all, thanks for all who chimed in. I'm more confused than before I posted ;-) Or maybe it's the time change! Here are a few responses to some recurring themes.
In response to girly buttons:
quote:
ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
For what it's worth, LA, I've never found you unapproachable. To me, there's a little girl inside every woman, femdoms included (if they think they're exceptions, they're wrong). Once I've seen that in a woman, she's never unapproachable to me again.
quote:
ORIGINAL: ElanSubdued
For the record, I've always found you very approachable. Then again, that might be different were I before you, but I'm guessing not. You let out enough of your personage and your "girly buttons" (to borrow a bit of pseudo-phraseology from Peon) that I'm sure your company would be very enjoyable and not intimidating at all.
Well boys, you both met me on message boards and got to read my thoughts and insights. This is definitely disarming. I'm not saying you'd be intimidated by me in person had you never met me before, but it is definitely a different way to get acquainted.
It is true that when someone gets to know me, like in Sylverë's case, they realise I'm really not all that scary. In fact, I can be quite accessible and laid back.
In response to projection:
quote:
ORIGINAL: ElanSubdued
I don't think it's just you but rather the pairing of particular individuals. With one person, you might be very open and approachable and with another, not so much so. Each person also brings their own projections and perceptions with them. I'm not saying anything against your friend (or friends), but I wouldn't take this too much to heart.
quote:
ORIGINAL: shallowdeep
I don't see your friend's view as unusual or necessarily having much of anything to do with you possessing a somehow intimidating dominant personality. Did he elaborate any on why he found you "inaccessible"? Did he single you out as specifically being more difficult to approach than other women?
I think you are both spot on with this. It is more about how he perceives me than about who I am.
He did elaborate and yes, he did explain to me why he found me more difficult to approach. He said that I gave off a vibe like I'll be fine on my own and don't need a man. Now see, I take this as a compliment because I'm glad I'm a woman who doesn't need a man. That doesn't mean I wouldn't thoroughly enjoy one though!
He was telling me that in general, men like to think that they can bring something extra in the life of a woman and with most women, that something extra is evident. He was simply pointing out that with me it wasn't.
For the record, I've known this friend for 4 years and he wasn't saying this as a criticism of me, but rather an observation. He was not suggesting that I change neither, nor I feel I need to.
quote:
ORIGINAL: hopelesslyInvo
"inaccessible" however, means you're lesbian or already have someone. a lot of guys mention things like "she's inaccessible, don't you see that ring", and the truth is i never do, let alone do i ever remember which hand means what.
Just a precision, I was translating from French and sometimes words are more loaded with meaning in one language than in another even if they are direct translations. I know what he meant by inaccessible and he was making an allusion to a parameter that might be surrounding me that makes me unapproachable.
I think that a lot of this has to do with the social settings that I meet someone in. I think what was a trigger for this friend is that a few weeks ago, I met up with him and some of his friends for drinks after work. I was in work head space and attire. I met other friends of his and I think he observed their reaction to me. I actually recall a friend of his making a joke about being scared of me. My friend's response to him was something along the lines that I was intimidating but once one gets to know me I'm not. I guess in certain situations, I just tend to have my guard up when I meet people. This works amazingly well for me in business negotiations where I've earned quite a bit of accolades. It doesn't work so well in social settings and sometimes I have to get out of my comfort zone to not come across as intimidating. This works best when I'm with a group of people I know well.
- LA
< Message edited by LadyAngelika -- 3/15/2010 5:17:11 AM >
_____________________________
Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove
|
RE: Inaccessible - 
Profile
)
New Messages
No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages
Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages
Locked w/o New Messages
Post New Thread