RE: My Head is Going to Explode!

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Badkitty0810 -> RE: My Head is Going to Explode! (3/31/2006 9:27:06 PM)
Gauge, I know what you mean. A couple of years ago I was heading home from work in rush hour traffic. It was winter, so it was dark out. Luckily, the roads were clear. We were in bumper to bumper traffic on a highway that has 2 lanes in both directions. Basically, if anyone had slammed on their breaks, we were screwed. That didn't stop the genius behind me from tailgating me a good part of the way. He was driving one of those huge behemoths of a truck. I think it was a Suburban. He was right on my ass (and he hadn't even taken me out to dinner first. Cheap bastard!), riding my bumper. I tapped my breaks to nicely tell him to back off. So, what did Genius do? He got over to the right lane and was traveling next to me. Then I saw him trying to push into my lane where I was. That S.O.B. tried to run me off the road. I gave him the one-fingered salute and held my ground. He eventually backed off once he realized that he wasn't going to intimidate me in my little Hyundai Elantra. By the time I got home, I was shaking like a leaf. That guy and many others are just proof positive that common courtesy like common sense are not at all common. I see it every day when dealing with the general public. I just shake my head and am thankful that I'm not like them. [:D]

Gauge -> RE: My Head is Going to Explode! (3/31/2006 9:39:47 PM)
quote: Have you thought about meditation or yoga? No, I haven't. Its a good thought though. Everyone thinks that because of the title of my post and my comments in my OP that this really got my goat. It really didn't. I watch people... I observe things. I wonder why people do the things that they do. I was frustrated because I don't have the answers for my questions. I still am, but my blood pressure sure isn't skyrocketing because of any of this. I do allow myself to react and then carry on. In fact, I pray for these people. I pray that they will meet God... soon... very, very soon. Seriously, I am not an embittered person who is just angry at the world... if I were like that do you honestly think that I would be asking the question why? I posted this because, like the majority of the threads I have started for discussion, I wanted to hear what others had to say. If everyone told me I was full of shit, then I would have to rethink my stance. But they haven't. I try to seek answers to some tough questions... sometimes I am limited in my ability to express them clearly.

Evanesce -> RE: My Head is Going to Explode! (3/31/2006 10:17:07 PM)
quote: I miss the way things used to be. I just don't understand what happened. Gauge, you're certainly not alone in that. There are many of us who miss things like courtesy and self control and responsibility. What's happened is that people these days seem to feel an overabundance of entitlement, like the world owes them something (certain Katrina "victims" come to mind). What's happened is that people refuse to take responsibility for their own actions. It's always someone else's fault. What's happened is that parents ceased being able to control their children about the same time it became almost mandatory to have two-income households just to pay for the bare necessities. When babysitters and television are raising your kids, is it any wonder they have no values? When your kids can put you in jail for daring to discipline them, is it any wonder they have neither fear nor respect? The world is insane. I don't know how to fix it.

brightspot -> RE: My Head is Going to Explode! (4/1/2006 1:57:51 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Level Too many single parent families Level I have to say this line offended me. I know many single mothers(I was one, my son is now 22) and a few fathers who have a handle of their home and their children and have raised respectful, goal oriented, successful adults. Gauge, Maybe it was an extra drunken friday or I swear sometimes I don't get how some people got their driver's license! Hope the rest of the weekend will be stress-free [;)]. I like the suggestion of incorporating relaxation techniques and trying not to let strangers invade your headspace, I would be a total wreak if I didn't practice those things. *Brightspot

Level -> RE: My Head is Going to Explode! (4/1/2006 3:41:25 AM)
I know some decent single parents as well, but I know a lot that do a poor job of parenting. "Too many", in my opinion. This doesn't neccesarily make the parent a bad person, just a bad parent. Out of the juveniles we see in court, probably 75-80% of them are from single parent households.

ScooterTrash -> RE: My Head is Going to Explode! (4/1/2006 4:09:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Gauge Everyone thinks that because of the title of my post and my comments in my OP that this really got my goat. It really didn't. I watch people... I observe things. I wonder why people do the things that they do. Gauge, you are certainly not alone. I swear, you meet or encounter people who appear to not have brain cell one, at least not one that is functional. To those who respond to threads such as this with the comment that you simply need to turn the other cheek and go on, BULLCRAP, it makes you feel better to vent, so vent. At least we're not dragging them out of their car and explaining up close and personal the error of their ways..lmao (not that that thought hasn't occurred to me). As a related sidenote (& no offense), I regret that you drive a minivan, because I personally will actually change lanes just to get away from a minivan, let's consider it a learned response. I have seem so many mini-van drivers that seem to have lost sanity that I am almost of the belief that mini-vans cause brain damage...lol. I am sure they were fine before, but have lost it the second they bought this vehicle. I'm sure this has something to do with another force in the universe, but it sure seems that way. But back to your OP of thinking things used to be better, I totally agree with you. It used to be that manners, being polite and helpful, were all traits that came naturally (or due to upbringing), but these days they seems to be in short supply. Driving just seems to bring out those poor behavioral patterns, but sure as there are little green apples, they probably behave like that in different areas of their lives. You'll just have to do what I do I guess. Just plug along, shake your head and mutter, what the f* are they thinking, then I realize I AM having a blonde moment, THEY aren't thinking..lmao.**

feylin -> RE: My Head is Going to Explode! (4/1/2006 5:32:38 AM)
Good morning: At first, this post reminded me of my stand off last year with an oil truck. His lane, my lane. He actually wanted both lanes. He won. But then I remembered some of the sweet moments that have happened in my life where people went out of their way to be polite or to stop and offer help to a complete stranger. <adjusts her rose-colored glasses.> My car has broken down on the highway, someone has always stopped. I have been a dollar short in the grocery line, someone behind me always came through. I yield, I help, I go slower than most because I am just not in that much of a rush. While I still lose my temper in traffic, its quick and gone. Although I did call a beer company once to complain about the way one of their driver's tailgated me in heavy traffic (all I could see was his grill in my rearview mirror). Despite several opportunities for him to use the other lane and go around me, he didn't and it was too much of a near-death experience to stand for such lack of care for another human's life. My mom was a single parent and had to work constantly in order to provide for four children. So our own survival skills (and the babysitting television) had to see us through. But 25+ years ago, television was very different (we still had to ask for permission to watch it) -- and so was the sense of community. Deeper than that, though, was what she taught us, so I do place most of the burden of today's "everyone out for themself" attitude on upbringing. When I was a teenager (about 14) a few friends and I hopped on a bus to go to the mall. As we traveled the bus became so full that there were no longer any seats left. At one point a very pregnant woman got on and walked down the aisle looking for a seat while the bus began to move again. I looked around for her too, quite sure one of the men would be standing up any second now to offer their seat -- that is what I was raised to believe happened. Nadda. Just a lot of people suddenly interested in advertisements near the ceiling. So I jumped up and offered her my seat which, I could see, she was about to politely decline and I laughed and said, "Please, you have to, my mom would be so ashamed of me." It is pleasant to be kind and even at this age I would not want my mom to be ashamed of me for my lack of simple, common courtesy. Along with being taught that I live in a community and not on my own personal island, I think there are several reasons for the decrease in manners. There are a lot more of us, we're feeling a little crowded and it works on our last nerve. A good deal of us are much more mobile as well (we no longer live in the same neighborhoods from birth to death) so our transient survival skills kick in and we are willing kick the butt of any other threatening hunter/gatherer. Since a lot of us know we will probably move again, there is less of an urge to get to know our neighbors and develop a sense of community with them. (This is a very broad generalization applicable only to a portion of the population, but I believe the majority.) Growing up, if I sneezed without covering my mouth there were at least three neighbors that would let my mom know within the hour she got home (sometimes before she was fully out of the car! lol). She did not tell them to go mind their own business and their own children. It did not begin some neighborhood war. She believed them, apologized for my heathen ways, and I was in trouble. I think the village, with some exceptions, has given up raising children. Too many opportunities to be sued and/or belittled for honest concern. Once upon a time, you didn't ask to be paid for shoveling your elderly neighbor's sidewalk and you could actually borrow a cup of sugar (or carton of eggs) from anyone on the block. Some neighborhood kid throwing a candy wrapper on the ground was a big deal to everyone and they had a right to admonish you and watch as you picked it back up. For the older generations, maybe they are just tired of the decrease in manners and mirror the treatment given to them. Or, maybe old people have always been grumpier, <grins> kids have always been terrors, and parents will never be fully appreciated. But then I go on break with a co-worker and she tells her excited tale about finding a good DVD player for her three-year old's bedroom (bedroom!) because the little girl only had a television and VCR until this past Christmas. The horror of it! A three-year old being deprived of this vital medium -- I assure you, I was aghast as well! I am hoping this delay has not stunted her mental growth. (I can remember being excited when I got my first coloring book that was just mine so that I would not have to be subjected to my little brother's artwork on every page. lol) Of course, that does not mean this little girl will grow up selfish or ill-mannered but going shopping with her along is quite an experience with screaming, kicking and general headache-inducing behavior. Once was enough for me. No way to control the other guy, and I do understand your frustration. I hope it will not cause you to lose your own kindness. Funny thing, though, the guy who cuts me off in traffic probably goes home and complains about my lack of driving skills...its all in perception. Best wishes, christine

Halcyone -> RE: My Head is Going to Explode! (4/1/2006 6:03:14 AM)
quote: The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they allow disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children now are tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when eleders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers. The above quote was supposedly attributed to Socrates by Plato. Now it's thought to have been made up in modern times, but it's been kicking around since at least the 60s (I think), so there's some proof that this too is part of the natural cycle of things. For a few generations, at least. [:D] Could it be that part of the problem is that once we've become annoyed by something, we also become more sensitive to noticing and remembering repeat performances? When someone cuts us off in traffic, we're more likely to lump the next fellow that cuts us off in the same group of assholes. Maybe he deserves it and really is a raging asshole like all of those others who've cut me off, or maybe he just got a call that his kid has been suspended at school and his mind isn't where it should be. One teenager's mouthiness, or even three or four of them, encountered in a ragged series, suddenly becomes the entire population's mouthiness. Suddenly the people around us, their personalities and behaviours, are made up of generalizations based on past encounters with others, and individuals who don't fit that preconceived mold become exceptions to the rule in our minds. I'm not saying you shouldn't vent, or haven't had the bad luck to have to wade through a higher percentage of assholery of late. I won't even follow that statement up with a "but" remark because that would invalidate everything you're rightfully feeling about these people's inconsiderate behaviour. [;)] I will, however, say that usually I find when I'm grinding my teeth over other's lack of manners and respect that it's time to begin focusing more on those who do display those, and tend to be overlooked because of it. We don't notice the fourteen year old who waits quietly on the corner for the WALK sign to light up and that kid doesn't deserve to be tarred with the same brush as the brat who walks into traffic from between two parked cars. That kid, the quiet one, he's not the minority even if it seems that way sometimes. Maybe it's time to go looking for the other side of things. The majority side.

JazzDaddy -> RE: My Head is Going to Explode! (4/1/2006 9:29:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: feylin I think the village, with some exceptions, has given up raising children. Too many opportunities to be sued and/or belittled for honest concern. One of the reasons I left education, after being in the field for 12 years as both a teacher and administrator, was the fact that we were now being expected to raise children in addition to the primary mission of teaching students how to think critically and giving them a base of knowledge. We have your kid for approximately 8 hours a day; you have them for the other 16. A school can only do so much "raising" in an 8 hour day. So many parents would say, "Well, I just don't know what to do with him/her." And a lot of these were parents of elementary students. Very sad, I think. I do agree with the posters who said that we should look for the good out there in the world. It's very true if you don't, it's really easy to get lost in the negativity. but.... I don't think we should just accept the bad for what it is and blow it off. I don't know if any true change for the positive can ever happen if we do that. My two cents.

Level -> RE: My Head is Going to Explode! (4/1/2006 9:34:30 AM)
Well said, christine.

windy135 -> RE: My Head is Going to Explode! (4/1/2006 10:09:09 AM)
Sorry I also read your thread wrong and didn't say anything about people's behaviors in general. I don't know if maybe I"m just use to the disrespect or that it doesn't occur as much in my enviornment. hmm I'm a people watcher but now I'll have to focus on this topic and see if there is a difference.

AAkasha -> RE: My Head is Going to Explode! (4/1/2006 10:18:48 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Gauge quote: Have you thought about meditation or yoga? No, I haven't. Its a good thought though. Everyone thinks that because of the title of my post and my comments in my OP that this really got my goat. It really didn't. I watch people... I observe things. I wonder why people do the things that they do. I was frustrated because I don't have the answers for my questions. I still am, but my blood pressure sure isn't skyrocketing because of any of this. I do allow myself to react and then carry on. In fact, I pray for these people. I pray that they will meet God... soon... very, very soon. Seriously, I am not an embittered person who is just angry at the world... if I were like that do you honestly think that I would be asking the question why? I posted this because, like the majority of the threads I have started for discussion, I wanted to hear what others had to say. If everyone told me I was full of shit, then I would have to rethink my stance. But they haven't. I try to seek answers to some tough questions... sometimes I am limited in my ability to express them clearly. The fact that you think you are a-ok yet you "pray these people meet God soon" is really odd. Have you thought about therapy? Seriously. With everything going on in the world, with the fact that some people have to worry daily about whether their child will eat or die, you get frustrated and angry over what you perceive as other people's injustices toward you because they put a roadbump in your day to day life? Do you realize how petty you are? The fact that you are still brewing about this is more troublesome. You have to let it go. I read this today and thought it applied. http://money.cnn.com/2006/03/21/commentary/everyday/sahadi/index.htm?cnn=yes Perhaps the reason I am so financially successful and do well in my career is that I don't care when minor stuff like you mentioned happens. I shrug it off and go on my way. People in the world have much more to complain about than I do. Be grateful you have a car to drive. For all the bitching and "wishing he would meet God" you do, karma might strike you down and you'll find yourself on a bus soon. Akasha

Level -> RE: My Head is Going to Explode! (4/1/2006 11:13:23 AM)
Gauge was kidding about the people "meeting God soon"......and as he stated, it isn't just about bad drivers, but the increase in incivility and irresponsibility in society, which may not be equal to starvation as a problem, but is still more than worthy of conversation. Level

Thanatosian -> RE: My Head is Going to Explode! (4/1/2006 12:19:58 PM)
quote: I have seem so many mini-van drivers that seem to have lost sanity that I am almost of the belief that mini-vans cause brain damage I'm thinking its the bunch of screaming kids in the back of the minivan that caused the loss of sanity, and not the minivan itself[;)]

Vancouver_cinful -> RE: My Head is Going to Explode! (4/1/2006 3:04:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Gauge I need to rant or I am likely to explode all over the place and I don't want to have to clean that up. Glad you ranted. We would miss you on the forums once the mess was cleared away, and the drama died down. LOL I know what you mean. I was raised by polite, considerate people, and by watching them interact with others, I learned that there was never cause for rudeness. One can always find a way to get their point across, or one can choose to walk away and deal with it when they are calmer. Too many people feel rushed these days and don't take the time for common courtesy. Sad. Hope your mom is well... Cin

Gauge -> RE: My Head is Going to Explode! (4/1/2006 8:50:28 PM)
quote: The fact that you think you are a-ok yet you "pray these people meet God soon" is really odd. Have you thought about therapy? Seriously. With everything going on in the world, with the fact that some people have to worry daily about whether their child will eat or die, you get frustrated and angry over what you perceive as other people's injustices toward you because they put a roadbump in your day to day life? Do you realize how petty you are? Since you don't know me, nor do you know whether I have enough to eat from day to day or have the finances to live comfortably, or what things I must deal with on a daily basis, your calling me petty really means little to me. What does mean something to me is the fact that you cannot recognize humor when you see it. My "praying for them to meet God" was a joke to let people have a laugh. The fact that you did not get it is no stunning revelation. It is funny that I have observed similar injustices being perpetrated upon others. I find it odd that I have pointed out that my thread was not about these "perceived" injustices but about an attitude in general. You seem to have ignored that point as well. The world is not about me, it is about people in general. If I were an arrogant ass and pontificated over assholes that vex me, then I would deserve your rebuke. I have not done so and therefore I do not feel your rebuke is warranted. quote: The fact that you are still brewing about this is more troublesome. You have to let it go. I am not brewing about anything. I let it go yesterday. If you care to, go back and read my subsequent posts after my first one. You will find that I was emphatic that it was not about road rage or any such trivial matter but a disease spreading through the very fabric of our society as a whole. I saw an old couple walking down the street today. There was a young man on his bike riding in the middle of the sidewalk. The couple was holding hands and trying to enjoy their day. This cretin on the bike thought it would be amusing to drive between them almost knocking them to the ground. This isn't about me. It is about things like that, that people see every day. It is not an anger issue although it does produce ire at the offending person for a time. The undercurrent is the blatant disregard for others no matter who they are. When I was a kid, if my parents had found out I had done what the young man did on his bike I wouldn't have been able to sit down for a month. Something has changed. Why? That is the question. quote: Perhaps the reason I am so financially successful and do well in my career is that I don't care when minor stuff like you mentioned happens. I shrug it off and go on my way. People in the world have much more to complain about than I do. Be grateful you have a car to drive. For all the bitching and "wishing he would meet God" you do, karma might strike you down and you'll find yourself on a bus soon. I am proud of you that you do not let things get to you... more power to you for that. I look at things a different way. Do they get to me? Somewhat, but not in the way that some karmic backlash will throttle my very existence. Again, you do not know my financial status nor am I inclined to broadcast it on a message board. I am grateful that I have a car. I am blessed in so many ways... I have been on the other side of things and I know what it is like to be hungry, penniless, destitute and hopeless. Do not sit there and judge me until you know my experiences. I am blessed to have two, healthy kids that love me. I have a Dad and Mom that love me. I have friends that I would call true friends... ones that I could trust with my life and they could in turn entrust their life into my hands. I am more fortunate than some people on this planet. Do not think for one microsecond that I am not aware of that. I doubt that you will be able to see what it is that I have said here, but please try to understand it. If what you see is bitching than I would say that it is not I that has the problem. And even if it were bitching, what of it? Do I not have a right to observe my fellow man and write what I see? Am I now not allowed to make comments on things that I think are unfair and unjust? Can I not offer a thread like this to stir in others something to be pondered? You may think what you want about me and my intent. I cannot, nor will I stop you from doing so. Know, however, that you have missed the point of my post entirely.

Gauge -> RE: My Head is Going to Explode! (4/1/2006 8:56:31 PM)
quote: Hope your mom is well... Thanks. Long story there. But thank you for your kindness.

cutiethebomb -> RE: My Head is Going to Explode! (4/1/2006 10:06:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth Maybe they were all just illegal immigrants, they're exempt from laws. (not going to get off topic.. not going to get off topic.. not going to- oh hell:) Oh come on. Come on! I'm not an immigrant.. but come on!!!!!! That makes absolutely no sense to me.. whatsoever. Yep, damn those illegal aliens and their BMWs!! Uh huh. =P Gauge, I'm sorry about your experiences. I have no idea what has happened, but I have a sort of vague worry that as more and more people become calloused and insensitive, it only spreads. How many times does it take for a person to get cut off before they start cutting other people off? What about our everyday news? The television programs that are so willing to convince us that our streets are not a safe place and it might as well be every man or woman for his or herself?? I don't know what's going on.. Either way, I see no uplifting solution... and I hate to say half the time I spend my daily life tuning out all the rapidly mounting up offenses of the world. Helps me sleep at night, but also helps me stay wonderfully useless in making a difference. =(

subtlesubie -> RE: My Head is Going to Explode! (4/1/2006 11:23:46 PM)
I love how society is perpetually going to hell, people are stupid, and it is ALWAYS somebody else's fault. Nevermind that the pedstrian has the right of way; or that merging traffic from on ramps have equal right to the driving lane. If you are not part of the solution, then you are part of the problem.

NakedOnMyChain -> RE: My Head is Going to Explode! (4/1/2006 11:47:16 PM)
I had a third-grade teacher whom I had substituted for charge into my fifth-grade class the week before last and scream at me in front of the entire class, claiming I hadn't left her any notes on what I'd done the day before. I politely explained to her where I'd left them (in plain view) and requested that she go look for them without further disrupting my current class. Needless to say, she found them, but didn't feel the need to apologize, even when the principal requested it. On the way home later in the day I was in the left hand turn lane on a major highway that requires a turn arrow to turn left. There was a semi in front of me in the straight lane with his left signal on. I politely stayed behind him until it became clear that he wasn't triggering the arrow. I then pulled up next to him and motioned that I would trigger the arrow and he could follow me into the intersection. What happened? As soon as the light turned red, and oncoming traffic's light turned green, he tried to pull out and turn left, nearly crushed my car, and got himself stuck in the middle of the intersection. He then flipped me off. Lovely. Just because you're in a big ol' honkin' semi, doesn't mean you don't have to obey traffic laws. It wasn't like it was a sharp turn. When I make it home that night there are four new messages for someone named Shauna. She doesn't live here. She never lived here. Every message is from a creditor that she owes money to. Lots of money, apparently. These creditors and bill collectors I have talked to at least twice each to explain that this is not Shauna's residence. I called them all back and told them, a little less politely that calling me every day when I am not Shauna is harrassment. I really don't think they believe I'm not her, but you'd think that the answering machine saying "Tyler and Michelle" might tip them off. One of them, Vectren energy to be specific, got pissy with me when I couldn't tell them where Shauna was. I've never met the woman, but I can't pick up the phone anymore, or even buy maternity clothes at my local Motherhood store, without hearing about her owing everyone tons of money. (Incidentally, she'd bought maternity clothes on credit at Motherhood and given them my phone number for her account. When they asked my phone number before I made my purchase I was given the third degree and ultimately had to whip out my driver's license and prove I wasn't her). On a side note, I had a girl in my class a couple of weeks ago who, when told to quiet down, made the cat meowing "reeeeeaaarrrr" noise at me and called me a bitch when she thought I couldn't hear. She was a seventh grader. It's not the norm, but holy hell, is that how some people raise their kids? I hope she had fun in the office when they called her parents. Quite often the world is rude or just plain inconsiderate. I don't think it's that it's changed so much as I have. I used to be one of the rude ones. I've grown up a bit since then, and I have my priorities straight now. So many people don't that they can't help but be rude. The scary thing is, to their own minds they're perfectly justified.

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