RE: Resources for finding a bedroom domme?

RE: Resources for finding a bedroom domme? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress

Message

LadyAngelika -> RE: Resources for finding a bedroom domme? (3/15/2010 8:14:12 PM)
You might be luckier than most predict here, discreetsubnyc. When I was single and not wanting to be in a relationship, most of my subs were simply play partners. While we didn't have intercourse, there was release. I was getting what I wanted out of it so it was all good. I didn't charge because I didn't need the money and I wanted everything on my terms. Mind you, I personally didn't play with married men because I would not be second woman to any woman. Every woman is different and you might find one who may be willing to over look that you are married. I'm not going to lecture you for what you do as I don't know your circumstances. You are a grown man who is responsible for your actions. But I would recommend that you play out the scenario in your head and try to picture the consequences of your actions. I was a cheated on a few years back and it felt like he put a knife through my heart. I'm sure you would never intentionally want anyone to go through this. - LA

SweetDommes -> RE: Resources for finding a bedroom domme? (3/15/2010 8:37:56 PM)
We rush to judgement, and feel the need to share with our our ethical commentary, because what you are doing seems to be against the basic principle that most people in BDSM live by: consensuality. If your wife doesn't know about your "extra-curricular activities" then she can't consent to them, correct? And if you lie to one person, who is to say that you won't lie to another? You still haven't answered the question of whether or not your wife knows about your affairs ... if she does, then you would get much less negative feedback - and if she doesn't, then (as far as I'm concerned) you deserve every bit of negative criticism you've gotten. In my opinion, if you're wanting kink with conditions, your best bet is to go with a pro. Like it or not, that's pretty much how it's going to be.

LadyAngelika -> RE: Resources for finding a bedroom domme? (3/15/2010 8:45:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RedMagic1 quote: ORIGINAL: Kaiel OMG, is there really a ONLINEBOOTYCALL.com ?! LOL, I have to go google it... har har! Heh. Yeah, I did too. Looks like a junior AFF. Did you know AFF is one of the top 50 most heavily trafficked sites on the internet? That's the OP's problem right there. Kink is a niche. He's the going from massive numbers of people interested in vanilla flings -- where no matter how low your standards are, someone else's are even lower -- to the world of hen's teeth called kinky online dating. Do you have money, and can you afford a monthly allowance? That's how you should be thinking, discreetsub. I just don't see you garnering much interest otherwise. Why on earth should a femdom beat on you, for any reason? I wanted to add that RedMagic1 is right and you might find what you are looking for more on alt.com or adultfriendfinder.com. Here you will more likely, but not exclusively, find women looking for D/s relationships or Dominatrix. You might also find play partners on FetLife (they actually have that as an option in their drop down menus) though it's not optimal for finding people based on specific criteria. - LA

thishereboi -> RE: Resources for finding a bedroom domme? (3/16/2010 5:20:30 AM)
You whine because you can't find anyone on here, yet your profile is totally blank, how is that supposed to attract anyone? Your screen name reads like someone who is looking for a way to fool around on your wife, so again, what is there to attract a women? There is a thread about FAQ at the top of the ask a mistress section. I suggest you read that and it may answer some of your questions.

VaguelyCurious -> RE: Resources for finding a bedroom domme? (3/16/2010 6:38:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: thishereboi You whine because you can't find anyone on here, yet your profile is totally blank, how is that supposed to attract anyone? To be fair, he only wiped his profile after he got totally slammed for it in the thread, so that's not really a fair question.

LadyPact -> RE: Resources for finding a bedroom domme? (3/16/2010 8:38:21 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady I was basically trying to point out to the guy that any woman he actually found to "do him" would be a grave disappointment and likely leave him bruised in ways he couldn't explain, unable to shit comfortably for days (which is no less than he deserves) and at no point would he be getting his dick sucked or get to put it anywhere, which I'm pretty sure he believes would be the culmination of his little "excursion." The highlighted above is something that I've pointed out in other threads and is actually a huge advantage to any Domme who happens to be sadistic. I might even go as far as to say it is a great method for a female Dominant to quickly eliminate interest from anyone who might not be in the position of being honest with the little woman at home. By telling them up front that, if you do play with them, they will have marks on them as a result, those who might have the marks seen by a SO tend to vanish quickly.

thishereboi -> RE: Resources for finding a bedroom domme? (3/16/2010 9:43:19 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious quote: ORIGINAL: thishereboi You whine because you can't find anyone on here, yet your profile is totally blank, how is that supposed to attract anyone? To be fair, he only wiped his profile after he got totally slammed for it in the thread, so that's not really a fair question. Ok, thanks. I must have looked after that.

AlexandraLynch -> RE: Resources for finding a bedroom domme? (3/16/2010 11:09:32 AM)
As a lifestyle dominant, most of us don't just want kinky sex. I personally am not going to look at someone who lives out unless he can make 90% of the local play parties and give me at least two to three evenings a week in my house doing housework and running my errands. Most of the time this is incompatible with being married. While I am not against having a married male as a sub, I insist on sitting down and talking to your wife and discovering what her parameters for our interactions are. If she's fine with you dating, then she won't object to this. For that matter, you would meet my husband before anything took place as well. I tried being the other woman, and I decided I didn't like it. So now I personally don't play that game. You may have to go for someone pro, OP, to get the type of minimal time demand you want plus the kink.

MissBeautiful2U -> RE: Resources for finding a bedroom domme? (3/16/2010 5:14:01 PM)
quote: I was simply asking if anyone knows of any resources that I might use to find what I am looking for It's a real long shot: but you make it clear that you are married and what you are willing to do and are not. There may be someone who will not mind. The fact that you are getting hit up by pro-dommes is because that's what many married men end up turning to when they want their kink fix. What you didn't seem to understand through the first page of responses is that lifestyle Dominant ladies have no problems in finding someone to play with. Finding a partner to fill what they are truly seeking is more difficult, but a boy to tease and play easy. If a boy in your situation is accepted, it is because there is something special about you that the woman is willing to play with you anyway. What that might be depends on the woman.

Andalusite -> RE: Resources for finding a bedroom domme? (3/16/2010 7:40:55 PM)
Most lifestyle Dominant women are not interested in being used to help you cheat on your wife or your girlfriend. Why don't you ask your vanilla fuckdollies to spank you? They obviously don't care that you're married, and since you have swarms of them, you can just ease out the ones who won't.[8\|]

GraciousLady -> RE: Resources for finding a bedroom domme? (3/16/2010 9:29:23 PM)
3 pages of our time wasted on one pathetic man who, after cheeting on his wife, decides he wants to find a Domme to do what he wants. Likely he has perused internet porn and thinks we are like what he sees there. How little he knows about our lifestyle.

azjojoba -> RE: Resources for finding a bedroom domme? (3/16/2010 9:54:16 PM)
Collarme isn't the place to find play partners. As you noticed, the young ones are pros and the older ones just want a slave to do housework. Most of them make it clear that you won't get sex. I had some success meeting female dommes on craigslist. It's very surprising who might answer your ad. The problem with CL is that it has been taken over by spam bots. You can count on getting lots of replies now but they are all bots or scams, or both. My guess is that most women have given up at CL because the bots and phoneys are even worse for them. Like Collarme, CL has very low participation from women over 40. I can't recommend CL until they can solve the bot problem.

azjojoba -> RE: Resources for finding a bedroom domme? (3/16/2010 9:56:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: discreetsubnyc I appreciate your observations. I am actually specifically looking for an older woman; and it is those of you "who are into that" that I am trying to find (and the nickname and hosting limitations are meant to put all the cards on the table, as it were). I suppose I will keep looking on collarme then. Thank you Older female dommes just don't hang out at collarme, except for chatting and complaining about guys like me that want something besides sterile married sex. Do a search in your area and restrict your search to female dommes over 50 and you will see what I mean. Filter by last time at the site.

azjojoba -> RE: Resources for finding a bedroom domme? (3/16/2010 9:59:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lockit It is much better to just come out and say you are married in your profile than to hint at it. I just had two situations with married men. One I have talked to for some time and one I got involved with. Right on my profile it says no married men. Both presented as single. One says I never asked if he was married and the other said he had never been married and had been married twice and was still married. I always ask in some way. What is your living situation, who do you live with, what relationships have you been in and when were they. I ask what they are seeking and always, they say they are seeking the same thing I am seeking. lol So be upfront and forthright with everyone involved, including your spouse. Why cause trouble for any dominant you do find that will be only a bedroom dominant to you, when the spouse finds out and goes on the warpath? Hinting at cards on the table isn't enough. I agree with you, except for the spouse part. There is no way to have a casual relationship with a dominant woman by hiding marriage status. She will decide if a married man is OK, and if she discovers you are lying it could be big trouble. I would rather be up front in my profile even if it means most women reject me.

lusciouslips19 -> RE: Resources for finding a bedroom domme? (3/16/2010 9:59:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: azjojoba quote: ORIGINAL: discreetsubnyc I appreciate your observations. I am actually specifically looking for an older woman; and it is those of you "who are into that" that I am trying to find (and the nickname and hosting limitations are meant to put all the cards on the table, as it were). I suppose I will keep looking on collarme then. Thank you Older female dommes just don't hang out at collarme, except for chatting and complaining about guys like me that want something besides sterile married sex. Do a search in your area and restrict your search to female dommes over 50 and you will see what I mean. Filter by last time at the site. Yea well I'm sure all the Dommes are lining up to play second fiddle for free. But in case they arent you should pay a ProDomme.

stef -> RE: Resources for finding a bedroom domme? (3/16/2010 10:01:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: azjojoba Collarme isn't the place to find play partners. Except that many people do find them here. Just because no one wants to play with some guy who is cheating on his wife doesn't mean everyone will have the same luck here that you do. ~stef

azjojoba -> RE: Resources for finding a bedroom domme? (3/16/2010 10:03:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: stef Except that many people do find them here. Just because no one wants to play with some guy who is cheating on his wife doesn't mean everyone will have the same luck here that you do. ~stef You might be right. I can only speak from my own experience. No doubt there is no tolerance for married men here.

Smutmonger -> RE: Resources for finding a bedroom domme? (3/16/2010 10:06:25 PM)
When the foundation for most of this is trust-cheaters have it hard-since they are liars by default. How would you expect to be treated any different than they do a primary partner? The only thing that really amazes me is the self deceit they propogate on THEMSELVES in thinking any different. The vast majority here think they are whaleshit. quote: ORIGINAL: azjojoba quote: ORIGINAL: stef Except that many people do find them here. Just because no one wants to play with some guy who is cheating on his wife doesn't mean everyone will have the same luck here that you do. ~stef You might be right. I can only speak from my own experience. No doubt there is no tolerance for married men here.

lusciouslips19 -> RE: Resources for finding a bedroom domme? (3/16/2010 10:06:34 PM)
We have all the tolerance in the world for people in poly or open marriages. We dont like liars and cheats is all. We even have 2 married people in a relationship with the consent of their spouses on here and a host of other arrangements where all involved know. Thats all above board and not cheating.

stef -> RE: Resources for finding a bedroom domme? (3/16/2010 10:08:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: azjojoba You might be right. I can only speak from my own experience. No doubt there is no tolerance for married men here. It's not the marred men who have the problem, it's the married mean cheating on their spouses that do. What's the upside of getting into a relationship with someone you cannot ever hope to trust? ~stef

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.03125