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FelineFae -> Free Advice (3/19/2010 5:56:53 AM)
Another thread got me thinking... What advice could you give someone with an interest of BDSM that others might not think to include ? Maybe you are holding a great pearl of wisdom that you just haven't the right oppertunity to share ?

PrimalConsonance -> RE: Free Advice (3/19/2010 6:49:55 AM)
I'm not really sure what others may say to those interested in BDSM, but outside the obvious, I would say it is addictive because of the rewarding effects that BDSM offers...after serving, a good spanking or long session, or that build up to some form of release be it a wonderful orgasm, or the head-space experience (Dom- or sub-space) with that euphoric feeling and contentment. All very Freudian...

allthatjaz -> RE: Free Advice (3/19/2010 7:34:52 AM)
I would say, beware of falling in love with the first Dom/mme or sub that you meet. He/She may seem awesome when you have no comparisons but comparisons are often needed to successfully succeed in these sort of relationships.

Smutmonger -> RE: Free Advice (3/19/2010 7:35:57 AM)
Never look at someone through rose colored glasses-it's an act of stupid masochism.

Rochsub2009 -> RE: Free Advice (3/19/2010 8:15:51 AM)
i've been in the scene for a long time, and the one observation that i've made is that the BDSM scene is littered with mentally and/or emotionally stunted individuals. So my advice would be to beware of fake subs and Doms/Dommes. i'm not talking about the scammers. What i'm talking about are the loser guys who couldn't get a girlfriend in high school, and so they become a "Dom" and think that they've punched their ticket to the "free pussy buffet". There is nothing dominant about them other than their self-proclaimed title. Likewise, their are lots of Dommes who fall into the same category. They are unattractive or extremely overweight, and have difficulty attracting vanilla men, so they become Dommes in order to have "dick-on-demand". IMO, if you are shy, have low self-esteem, and struggle to attract a vanilla guy, you really don't qualify to be called dominant. And lastly, there are many subs/slaves who are emotionally damaged, and are easy prey for unscrupulous Doms/Dommes who would take advantage of them. Don't get me wrong. There are lots of great people in the scene. But i think we can all admit that we've run into the types of people that i just described. Sadly, every local BDSM group seems to have them.

DesFIP -> RE: Free Advice (3/19/2010 8:18:30 AM)
A relationship is a relationship is a relationship. If you don't respect each other the d/s won't cover for that. If you don't care about each other, the d/s won't suddenly solve that. If you aren't compatible in many areas, the d/s still won't magically make it so. Like every other successful relationship, it is composed of two people both of whom need to be happy in order for it to succeed.

Wolf2Bear -> RE: Free Advice (3/19/2010 8:40:37 AM)
Like anything else, take your time and use a lot of common sense and don't rush into anything until you are fully ready. Think with the head on your shoulders and not with your crotch.

UniqueRaven -> RE: Free Advice (3/19/2010 8:44:37 AM)
Don't take it all so seriously. It's much less dramatic than you may think. [;)]

peppermint -> RE: Free Advice (3/19/2010 9:29:43 AM)
People who are into BDSM are not more honest, happier, more loving, more caring, deeper, have stronger relationships, more trustworthy, faster, stronger, or more of anything than any other group of people. There are BDSM people who will give you the shirt off their backs as well as those who would steal that shirt off you back.

bliss4us09 -> RE: Free Advice (3/19/2010 9:34:31 AM)
I would advise them to think about whether or not their interest is only sexual. If it is, they probably do better to pay someone to be used or to use them. If it isn't, this may be a scene for them

LadyPact -> RE: Free Advice (3/19/2010 9:44:25 AM)
None of this is really that difficult. You don't have to analyze it to death or make it more complicated than it has to be. It can all be so simple if you are happy and enjoying it.

Mercnbeth -> RE: Free Advice (3/19/2010 9:59:04 AM)
quote: What advice could you give someone with an interest of BDSM that others might not think to include ? Don't take any advice from people who don't know you as well as you know yourself. If you didn't follow that advice and are still reading... If you and your partner are not having FUN together - try another "interest".

VaguelyCurious -> RE: Free Advice (3/19/2010 10:14:17 AM)
If person A tells you that person B is evil and dangerous and a terrible terrible person, and person B then tells you exactly the same thing about person A, person A is not necessarily right by virtue of having told you first.

AQuietSimpleMan -> RE: Free Advice (3/19/2010 11:36:27 AM)
Advice - If it doesn't happen naturally and on it's own you should really ask yourself if either of you are doing the right thing. If you aren't doing this because you enjoy doing it then why are you doing it? At the end of the day if you can't look at your partner and know without a doubt that they respect you then you are probably with the wrong person. QSM

ModeratorSixteen -> RE: Free Advice (3/19/2010 11:38:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FelineFae Another thread got me thinking... What advice could you give someone with an interest of BDSM that others might not think to include ? Maybe you are holding a great pearl of wisdom that you just haven't the right oppertunity to share ? If you join an online BDSM forum,read the TOS and post accordingly?[:D]

Marc2b -> RE: Free Advice (3/19/2010 11:45:36 AM)
Self knowledge and self discovery are all well and good but don't over analyze yourself. Why you enjoy a particulary activity doesn't have to have a reason - feelings don't have to make sense. Just enjoy what you enjoy and fuck the rest.

wisdomtogive -> RE: Free Advice (3/19/2010 12:38:02 PM)
Good question Fae:) My advice is don't throw your common sense out of the door for any of this. I see this a lot with new submissives and how they believe they cannot say no to a Dom. after knowing them for 10 days or so.

Jeffff -> RE: Free Advice (3/19/2010 12:40:18 PM)
"Listen to the Anteater"

came4U -> RE: Free Advice (3/19/2010 12:43:27 PM)
but but, the anteater had his mouth full.....................of aunts. sounded all muffled.[;)]

myotherself -> RE: Free Advice (3/19/2010 12:45:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Jeffff "Listen to the Anteater" ...and then run like your ass was on fire!! [8\|]

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