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RE: Dommes do you like playing with vocal subs? - 4/4/2006 11:07:48 PM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline 		If they are new to me and appear to be naturally quiet (after telling me they were otherwise in our negotiations, and yes, that is something that I generally discuss...), we'd have a chat about it later on my feedback loop.  If that pattern continued, I would consider finding myself a more suitable play partner.  Silence just doesn't work for me as a top.

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Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to fiddlegirl)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Dommes do you like playing with vocal subs? - 4/5/2006 2:27:50 PM   
fiddlegirl


Posts: 43
Joined: 9/17/2005
Status: offline 		Thanks to those who responded - some interesting perspectives.

The reason that I ask is that last week I played a mutually enjoyable scene with a new female top.  Afterwards she commented to me, "I was thinking about saying, 'I need you to make some sounds for me.'"  I wouldn't have known what to do if she had in fact said that, because I'm naturally quiet, and if she said "Make some sounds", I would hear that as "Fake some sounds."

It's not that I'm trying to be tough, or trying to demonstrate a willingness to take it for her, or trying to live up to some porn ideal - I'm just doing what comes naturally.  And it's not that I'm super stoic, either - my response to a threat or beating is to tremble, squirm, and flinch.

Tammyjo's suggestion of responding verbally might be a good compromise - saying "oh yes" or "more please" seems less absurd than faking a groan or a scream.  Nonetheless, it would be an intentional dramatic performance rather than an authentic response, and I question how many tops would really want that.

MisPandora, I also usually bring it up in negotiation too, so if silence is a dealbreaker we know that ahead of time.  Didn't feel the need to discuss it this time, since she had seen me bottom to another top, but perhaps she was assuming my silence was a result of effort.

Take care, Fiddlegirl

PS Of course, I'm going to discuss this with this woman before we play again - I'm just on this thread out of curiousity as to how other tops/dominants feel about it.

(in reply to MisPandora)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Dommes do you like playing with vocal subs? - 4/6/2006 12:12:30 AM   
oneman426


Posts: 3
Joined: 1/17/2005
Status: offline 		this is my first posting here cause well i like this topic!  and i will say that i find it impossible to NOT be vocal.  you kinda have to scream and moan and whimper and i evne like talking when its ok.  Although i found out the hard way that talking back to Her is not a good idea hwne your chained to a wall...course every lesson i learn is the hard way 

(in reply to lushusboobs)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Dommes do you like playing with vocal subs? - 4/6/2006 6:57:06 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fiddlegirl

Tammyjo's suggestion of responding verbally might be a good compromise - saying "oh yes" or "more please" seems less absurd than faking a groan or a scream. Nonetheless, it would be an intentional dramatic performance rather than an authentic response, and I question how many tops would really want that.



The first few times you "force" out a response it does feel fakey to your ears but the more you do it, the more the barriers break down between what is fake and what is felt.

Its like smiling even why you have a bad day -- it does help your mood.

Doing this isn't fake to my ears, its part of serving me or submitting to me by giving me what I want.

A top can also be very mean about getting sounds -- stopping the activity if nothing is forthcoming... if I don't know you are enjoying it (on whatever level) why should I continue? or she can do something you dislike to get a reaction. I don't think these are the best approaches because they risk negative feelings and energies.

I think if a sub feels stoic but has a dom who wants a verbal reaction, the sub needs to think of being verbal as part of his submissive and his service. You aren't doing it for you; you are doing it for her. Maybe that will help you start.



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Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to fiddlegirl)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Dommes do you like playing with vocal subs? - 4/6/2006 7:35:40 AM   
DiannaVesta


Posts: 1087
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Mid-Atlantic area
Status: offline 		I love begging, groveling and a vocal slave but when I want him to shut up he better do so.

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(in reply to TeeGO)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Dommes do you like playing with vocal subs? - 4/6/2006 8:25:30 AM   
acctonthelook


Posts: 245
Joined: 3/28/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lushusboobs

Vocal depends on the time and the situation and how they are vocal.  If they ask me in the middle of something sexual if I did my taxes, I'm sure it would kill the mood.  I think that talk beforehand is important.  I do like someone who has their own voice and is unafraid to use it even if they are submissive.  I think in certain circumstances people need to be empowered to be vocal. 


To me your line about taxes, falls into the thread going on right now about bratty sub's.  Too funny! and yet kind of interesting if during play master wishes me to goad him.  
 
I also agree with TammyJo:
quote:

  The first few times you "force" out a response it does feel fakey to your ears but the more you do it, the more the barriers break down between what is fake and what is felt.

Its like smiling even why you have a bad day -- it does help your mood.
 
 
There's a saying in twelve step programs..."FAKE IT TIL YOU MAKE IT".  Lol.  Same scenerio here! 
 
I used to be VERY quiet and when I was with one woman who encouraged me to be vocal, I was finally able to really enjoy the sensations.  Since then I start off stoic then b/c much more vocal with each sensation received.
 

(in reply to lushusboobs)
Profile   Post #: 46
Laughter and Begging - 4/6/2006 8:44:28 AM   
subapplicant


Posts: 68
Joined: 9/19/2005
Status: offline 		A Dominant Woman once told me the two sweetest sounds in the world were the sound of a child laughing or a men begging.

Plus - I love Goddess Dianna Vesta's response: "I love a begging, groveling and a vocal slave but when I want him to shut up he better do so." At different times the sound of a whimpering male is music to the ears. At other times the ability to control him, to make him silent, is what brings Her pleasure.
 
Thank God (or Goddess!) for Dominant Women.


(in reply to acctonthelook)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Dommes do you like playing with vocal subs? - 4/6/2006 10:16:31 AM   
LadyWolfdreams


Posts: 24
Joined: 9/25/2005
From: Wyoming
Status: offline 		I love the vocal types. I use it to guage the effectiveness of what I'm doing and it's just sooo juicy to hear my slave moan and whimper and scream and gasp and ... umm ... okay, I better stop now.

Lady Wolfdreams

(in reply to EarthGoddess52)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Dommes do you like playing with vocal subs? - 4/6/2006 11:18:36 AM   
TeeGO


Posts: 451
Joined: 12/11/2005
Status: offline 		In all seriousness, I am stoic, or at least I start there.  I do desire to be brought to tears and screaming, that would be a wonderful place. 

I know some people love a beating for the pleasure it brings in and of itself.  I don't really understand that myself.  I want a beating to hurt.  I want it to reduce me.  I want the woman to render me completely at her mercy.  I want to be utterly undone.  Oh YEA!

(in reply to LadyWolfdreams)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Dommes do you like playing with vocal subs? - 4/10/2006 5:05:39 PM   
LoneGoddess


Posts: 73
Joined: 1/1/2005
From: Moscow, Idaho
Status: offline 		YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(in reply to TeeGO)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Dommes do you like playing with vocal subs? - 4/10/2006 7:16:37 PM   
TexasMaam


Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline 		Hopefully My next submissive will be more vocal than My most recent sub.  Polishing that crystal ball to mindread all the time gets to be too much effort.

TexasMaam

(in reply to talmar)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Dommes do you like playing with vocal subs? - 4/11/2006 2:04:10 AM   
mons


Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline 		greeting to all


I LOVE WHEN A SHY SUB RELEASES ALL OF HIS PAIN AND PLEASURE
IN ONE MOAN, I HAD ONE SUB SCREAM " GOD BLESS AMERICA " WE BOTH
LAUGH BECAUSE HE WAS JUST SCREAMING THIS OUT AND THE RUSH OF '
HIS BREATHING IT IS SOOOOOOOOOO GOOD! WHIMPERING IS SEXY AND
WHEN HE GIVES LOUDER IT IS ALL SO GOOD, BEGGING IS ANOTHER THING
THAT MAKE M ENEGRY GO UP SO HIGH, I DO THINK WHEN THESE SUBS
COME AND WHINPER SCREAM OR YELP IT MAKES ME HIGH

MONS/JANE :0)

(in reply to MarquiseAstarte)
Profile   Post #: 52
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