RE: Advice on how to find someone???

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RE: Advice on how to find someone??? - 3/23/2010 4:41:02 PM

DarlingSavage

Posts: 2808
Joined: 9/18/2009
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Maybe she's trying to tell you she would prefer the front seat! She's not a baby anymore, ya know! lol

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RE: Advice on how to find someone??? - 3/24/2010 6:05:54 AM

axedrez

Posts: 1
Joined: 2/17/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HisSweetElysium

not one told me it was "unsublike" of me to msg them first, most were flattered.

Indeed, I like it when the sub takes the trouble of asking for my attention first - or put it the other way: I feel it unpleasant to have to beg for the attention of someone that I aspire to abuse and dominate!

(in reply to HisSweetElysium)

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RE: Advice on how to find someone??? - 3/24/2010 2:17:25 PM

Honsoku

Posts: 422
Joined: 6/26/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: StrongSpirit

I agree that you should email doms you like. There is nothing wrong with it.

In general, I advice you to:
Distinguish yourself from spammers. Be specific, be polite, don't ask for contact outside of collarme.com in the first email, and make sure your profile is consistent with itself and your email.
Avoid making them same mistakes that others do. You get ONE physical characteristic as a primary rejection., and another that you need you be flexible about. If you are looking for a tall, 35 year old, black, bald, in great shape man, then tough luck, while he does exist, he's not interested in you. If you are on the other hand looking for a 35 year old, dark skinned man, preferably but not required to be bald, and in good shape, then you might find someone. Perhaps an Indian (hindu), or maybe he's not bald but is in great shape, etc. etc. People over-estimate how specific they can be and still find someone they like. (Note, if you are looking for short, overweight but not fat men you can probably find a ton of them without any problem - really nice ones too.)

This (mostly). I would add that a person can definitely have more than physical requirement, but you have to be careful about the rarity of what you are choosing. Wanting someone over 6'5" is definitely going to shrink your choices, however someone who is simply taller than you? Probably not as much. Remember, rarity is multiplicative, not additive. Finding someone with two characteristics each of which 10% of the population has is 10 times as difficult as finding someone with one of those characteristics.

In addition, be aware of how in demand that requirement is vs how much of what you offer is in demand. One of the common errors in judgment I see is people thinking that because they intend to be submissive (or dominant) that suddenly they are owed the moon and stars for it. (It's the "I'll be submissive, but by god he's going to be perfect" fallacy) On this site Quasimodo isn't likely to be walking off with Esmerelda.

(in reply to StrongSpirit)

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RE: Advice on how to find someone??? - 3/27/2010 5:37:59 PM

dragon200070

Posts: 93
Joined: 2/9/2010
Status: offline

You're quite right, sitting around is not enough. Put adds in various places. Post to online groups (like yahoo BDSM groups or here). Let people see your opinions. Demonstrate your wit, your grasp of the subject. Go to munches. Be proactive.

Jeff

(in reply to SexySea)

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Post #: 24