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RE: How Would You Feel If Your Master Wanted.... - 5/14/2010 2:53:14 AM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CaffeineOverRide

OK, I was just corrected on my wording, apologies.
I do not want to be dominated, I just want him to act as top..... I'm seeking advice on how to bring this up and how to go about it.
Thank you CalifChick

I think the labels are confusing the issue. You want him to perform activities on you that you think are submissive while you remain in control as the Dominant? Or do you truly want him to top you ie: take control in that moment but not in the relationship overall?

In the first instance, I know there are many responses that will indicate otherwise, but I don't believe that actions in and of themselves are submissive or dominant. The intent and the balance of power is what is determinative in my mind, not the paticular activities. I personally would not have a problem with that at all. Other than hard limits, I don't tell Dominants I am with what they can and cannot order me to do and I don't see this as any different.

In the second case, it's a bit more difficult. It can imply an emotional requirement that may or may not be there. While I could do it, and would probably follow that order in actions, emotionally I would have a difficult time topping someone that I identified with as a Dominant only and keep in mind, I am a switch so topping/dominating isn't new to me.

If you are both switches, which I am unclear of (you say he has it in him, I'm not sure what that means), switching roles within the relationship isn't that uncommon.

How do you bring it up? Honestly and openly and be prepared to accept that if it's not what you negotiated for in the beginning, you may have to look realistically at the effect this will have on your relationship.

Good luck!

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

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RE: How Would You Feel If Your Master Wanted.... - 5/14/2010 9:21:51 AM

porcelaine

Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
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CaffeineOverRide,

It's a gray area for me. The context of our relationship is a factor. His interpretation of domination in that manner is as well. Is it merely physical, or does he desire the other elements too? I'd also wonder if we're speaking of temporary fodder, or something deeper - an unmet need of his that should be addressed. If the latter is the case, am I the appropriate source, or should we look outside the relationship? Also, what is the impact of the change in roles on our dynamic if any.

~porcelaine

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

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Post #: 42

RE: How Would You Feel If Your Master Wanted.... - 5/29/2010 11:04:55 AM

DearJessicaD

Posts: 55
Joined: 10/26/2008
From: East Coast
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I'm not at all interested in it in any sort of long term or consistent way.

So yeah, if he's been stressed at work I'm fine with taking charge on a Friday night and telling him to take a break - sending him to shower, telling him we're going out for dinner, and in general relieving him of all decision-making for a day or so.
But I would not be attracted to him if that were happening on a regular basis or fulltime.

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Post #: 43

RE: How Would You Feel If Your Master Wanted.... - 5/29/2010 12:15:05 PM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CaffeineOverRide
OK, I was just corrected on my wording, apologies.
I do not want to be dominated, I just want him to act as top..... I'm seeking advice on how to bring this up and how to go about it.

OOOoooooh... Well, I can tell you how I do it personally. I figure I'm the master right? You know, that whole "I give commands and she obeys" thing. So when I want Carol to top me, I typically say, "I'm gonna lay back and enjoy it tonight mine, seduce me and take me." Then she obeys. All is well in the world.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

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Post #: 44

RE: How Would You Feel If Your Master Wanted.... - 5/29/2010 1:53:43 PM

namenumber404

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Joined: 5/26/2010
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It would fit into the category of performing as directed. It sounds backwards but when you consider that in this situation to dominate is also to submit to the command to be dominant, it works out. I think keeping a straight face might be the hard part.

"Go against your natural impulse to submit and dominate the fuck out of me." That's a clear directive. It should be easy enough to temporarily switch roles, as long as it doesn't become a habit. I don't know how much role reversal it takes to go from being a dominant or submissive to being a switch. Once should be OK. When it happens a lot, then it's time to talk. Maybe the dynamic has changed and the roles need to be redefined.

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RE: How Would You Feel If Your Master Wanted.... - 6/1/2010 7:01:51 PM

BabieGothika

Posts: 41
Joined: 5/10/2010
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If my Master wants to be dominated by me, well, then He is not my Master anymore. The most i love about Him is than He is always in control of His emotions and always in charge and always dominating me. That is what i want a man!

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RE: How Would You Feel If Your Master Wanted.... - 6/1/2010 7:16:51 PM

Andalusite

Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
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I wouldn't have any objection to topping someone I was a slave or submissive to, if they desired it, either to their specifications/orders or using my own creativity. So far, I haven't reacted with domination and submission toward the same person.

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Post #: 47