quote:

ORIGINAL: phoenix6666

I'm not exactly sure how to go about doing that here.  I understand there's a whole D/s life here but if I'm meeting someone for the first time on this site, shouldn't I treat that person respectfully?  After all they are a stranger?  I'm not going to take control of a complete stranger after all.  In my other life, I'm just a regular nice guy.  You want my D-side, I need to get to know you first.  Is there anything wrong with that?  I'm sorry for ranting slightly but I just got brushed off for being kind to a stranger....

If I'm trying to meet people here, am I supposed to be in 'D-mode' the entire time???

quote:

ORIGINAL: phoenix6666

Ah, sorry for the confusion, CarrieO.  It was a bad choice of words on my part.  I "met" the other person online via chat and email.

Thank you for clarifying.

I guess I'm just frustrated with life in general.  I'll spare you the "nice guy" standard text here but that's pretty much who I am in my regular life and it's not an act.  This "D" part of me isn't an act either but I understand that it's not for everyone and I keep that to myself.

It might surprise you to find that many D-types you meet are nice guys and gals also.  Being a dom/me doesn't have to go hand-in-hand with being a pompous ass...contrary to what you see in some profiles here.

quote:

ORIGINAL: phoenix6666
As far as the 'one-way' street nature of my post....well....I don't really have a good answer for that one other than in the profiles, there's the selection for "Eye Contact Restrictions" and I thought maybe there would be some 's' who wouldn't mind having the similar restriction via online.

Thanks for the advice here.  I really appreciate it. :) Perhaps I'm better off going back to my regular life and just repressing this part of me like usual

I don't believe anyone was suggesting this at all.  It was suggested you be yourself...be real...and be willing to put into any sort of interaction what you're expecting to recieve.  I "got" the reference to eye contact restrictions but the thing is, that works in RL because you're still interacting with the person. Online, it's seen as being secretive and less than honest.  The two aren't really similar.
 
I see that the OP either no longer has an active profile or has it hidden...hopefully to make some changes and start fresh.  If he's chosen the repression route, I hope he'll still choose to hang around and lurk if only just to see there are a few nice folks. 

quote:

ntrol of a complete stranger after all. In my other life, I'm just a regular nice guy. You want my D-side, I need to get to know you first. Is there anything wrong with that? I'm sorry for ranting slightly but I just got brushed off for being kind to a stranger....

quote:

ORIGINAL: phoenix6666

I'm not exactly sure how to go about doing that here.  I understand there's a whole D/s life here but if I'm meeting someone for the first time on this site, shouldn't I treat that person respectfully?  After all they are a stranger?  I'm not going to take control of a complete stranger after all.  In my other life, I'm just a regular nice guy.  You want my D-side, I need to get to know you first.  Is there anything wrong with that?  I'm sorry for ranting slightly but I just got brushed off for being kind to a stranger....

If I'm trying to meet people here, am I supposed to be in 'D-mode' the entire time???

quote:

ORIGINAL: DomBlade64

Heres my advise. This site is full of men who are pretending to be women. They are 99 percent fakers. The 1 percent that actually are women are married to their doms and are no longer seeking. They are on the forums chatting about random topics.

In general their practice is to ignore you as soon as your profile doesent meet their exacting standards of a dom. So if you are the slightest bit off expect no reply and being on one more persons ignore list.

So my advise? Dont talk to women at all. Possibly in the forums about some random topic but not about the potential to meet up. Why? They are all scared little kittens who flee because in an overtly male environment such as this,with such a high chance at them meeting a psychopath, penisis scare them. So using collar me as what its intended "A free dating site for bdsm lifestyle" is basically impossible.

quote:

ORIGINAL: phoenix6666

Thanks for the advice here.  I really appreciate it. :) Perhaps I'm better off going back to my regular life and just repressing this part of me like usual

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucienne

quote:

ORIGINAL: DomBlade64

Heres my advise. This site is full of men who are pretending to be women. They are 99 percent fakers. The 1 percent that actually are women are married to their doms and are no longer seeking. They are on the forums chatting about random topics.

In general their practice is to ignore you as soon as your profile doesent meet their exacting standards of a dom. So if you are the slightest bit off expect no reply and being on one more persons ignore list.

So my advise? Dont talk to women at all. Possibly in the forums about some random topic but not about the potential to meet up. Why? They are all scared little kittens who flee because in an overtly male environment such as this,with such a high chance at them meeting a psychopath, penisis scare them. So using collar me as what its intended "A free dating site for bdsm lifestyle" is basically impossible.

Well... isn't your fanny all up in the air waiting to be spanked.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
I agree with Carrie.  I wouldn't especially call it 'meeting' if your doing online.  Also, what you might be calling respect, I would probably call courtesy.  Which, when it comes to courtesy on the other side (the email part of CM), I'll be the first to admit that I'm not always courteous.  That includes things such as, I put the word "local" in My profile three times.  If I'm in CA and someone in NY who I've never seen on the forum side decides to contact Me anyway, they aren't going to get a pleasant response.

I'm not in D-mode all of the time, but I am in Me-mode constantly.  That means that I can be a hard ass at times, but I'm absolutely being Myself.  More often than not, people do tend to like it when you are not trying to put on an act for someone. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: phoenix6666

Thanks for the advice here.  I really appreciate it. :) Perhaps I'm better off going back to my regular life and just repressing this part of me like usual

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

quote:

ORIGINAL: phoenix6666

Thanks for the advice here.  I really appreciate it. :) Perhaps I'm better off going back to my regular life and just repressing this part of me like usual

Look, you can try and repress yourself, I imagine many here have. You might even succeed for a while. Eventually you are just going to piss yourself and your nilla partner off.

That has been My experience


Jeff

quote:

ORIGINAL: DomBlade64
Heres my advise. This site is full of men who are pretending to be women. They are 99 percent fakers. The 1 percent that actually are women are married to their doms and are no longer seeking. They are on the forums chatting about random topics.

In general their practice is to ignore you as soon as your profile doesent meet their exacting standards of a dom. So if you are the slightest bit off expect no reply and being on one more persons ignore list.

So my advise? Dont talk to women at all. Possibly in the forums about some random topic but not about the potential to meet up. Why? They are all scared little kittens who flee because in an overtly male environment such as this,with such a high chance at them meeting a psychopath, penisis scare them. So using collar me as what its intended "A free dating site for bdsm lifestyle" is basically impossible.

I just get on here to talk about whatever on the forums.

If you want a date do what all the girls here did. Get a boyfriend/girlfriend and tell them you like it rough.

or go to a munch and socialize.

Thats where the REAL people are.

The people on this site are cool, dont get me wrong. But they are men. So collar me is akin to the guys going to shoot the breeze after a hard days work. Except the work would be the real BDSM lifestyle, and the breeze would be them talking to some overseas fake who tries to get their credit card number.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DomBlade64


Heres my advise. This site is full of men who are pretending to be women. They are 99 percent fakers. The 1 percent that actually are women are married to their doms and are no longer seeking. They are on the forums chatting about random topics.

****snip****

The people on this site are cool, dont get me wrong. But they are men. So collar me is akin to the guys going to shoot the breeze after a hard days work. Except the work would be the real BDSM lifestyle, and the breeze would be them talking to some overseas fake who tries to get their credit card number.

quote:

ORIGINAL: phoenix6666

I'm not exactly sure how to go about doing that here.  I understand there's a whole D/s life here but if I'm meeting someone for the first time on this site, shouldn't I treat that person respectfully?  After all they are a stranger?  I'm not going to take control of a complete stranger after all.  In my other life, I'm just a regular nice guy.  You want my D-side, I need to get to know you first.  Is there anything wrong with that?  I'm sorry for ranting slightly but I just got brushed off for being kind to a stranger....

If I'm trying to meet people here, am I supposed to be in 'D-mode' the entire time???

quote:

ORIGINAL: phoenix6666

Thanks for the input, DrkJourney.  I can 'hear' the geniune non-flaming thought in your 'voice' which I do appreciate very much.  I see your point about not stating the need for my secrecy would cause concern.  It's funny though.  I can update my profile but I every time I do, I feel it's 'for someone else' which seems to run counter to lots of the advice offered about 'being myself.'  Not trying to be rude or anything.  Just extremely frustrated (not just because of this but other things going on in my life).

As far as the 'one-way' street nature of my post....well....I don't really have a good answer for that one other than in the profiles, there's the selection for "Eye Contact Restrictions" and I thought maybe there would be some 's' who wouldn't mind having the similar restriction via online.

Thanks for the advice here.  I really appreciate it. :) Perhaps I'm better off going back to my regular life and just repressing this part of me like usual

quote:

ORIGINAL: DomBlade64
Heres my advise. This site is full of men who are pretending to be women. They are 99 percent fakers. The 1 percent that actually are women are married to their doms and are no longer seeking. They are on the forums chatting about random topics.