LadyPact
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VC, I'm going to trim some of this just for the sake of brevity.
quote:
ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious
So if a friend of yours was unhappy in their sex life or their relationship and wanted to discuss that with you, you'd shut them down on the grounds that wanting someone to talk to meant they didn't give a damn? That seems painfully harsh to me-maybe we'll have to agree to disagree on that one.
Actually, it's the opposite. I happen to feel that the relationship that those two people have should be a priority over the friendship that I may have established. Anytime that I have a male friend that starts a new relationship, My first reaction is usually how happy I am that they found someone. My second reaction is, can this new person also be a friend, since I'm obviously on good terms with the male. If the personalities mesh, I'd like to be her friend, too. It would be great to include her. Not keep her on the outside.
quote:
I didn't mean that I thought it was up to me-I'm sorry if I implied that. But I do assume that if someone is owned, and their owner does not want them talking to other Dommes, then they will tell me this straight up. If at any stage I find out that they don't have the knowledge/consent of their owner I will stop talking to them, but I will not spend my life being suspicious of people because a minority of subs don't behave as their owners wish. Considering that we're talking about a situation where the male in the OP's original seems to have other things that he's hiding from his Domme, it doesn't really sound like a case that he's been honest on a few things. He hasn't told his Domme that he cheated on her. Why would I think that he's told his Domme that he's been talking with someone else, sharing intimate details of their lives? The Domme probably doesn't know that her sub is talking to the OP at all. Due to not having this information, how was she supposed to say if it was ok or not ok.
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Has the OP explicitly stated that the owner doesn't know? Because if she has I've missed it.
This is from post #5
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no I dont know her personally.
Now, that could mean that the OP doesn't know her in the world away from the screen, or that she doesn't even have even as much as as an electronic introduction to her. I'm actually going with the latter. Somewhere along this six month line, the male in this scenario started discussing things with the OP that were probably inappropriate. (I really don't believe that all of the conversation was casual for six months and then, WHAM, it all just poured out that there was all of this talk about the cheating and how unhappy the relationship was.) When the little things started coming up, which boil down to this person talking about his SO behind her back, the OP could have put a stop to it right there. If she really was his 'friend' she would have been encouraging him to talk to his Dominant about this, rather than the OP, in the first place. Isn't that what we want for our friends? For them to be as happy as possible and encourage them to do whatever it is that leads in that direction?
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It may well be that the sub in question has permission to talk to whoever he wants, without the knowledge/involvement of his owner-we don't know. I know you're high protocol, LP, but not everyone is, and I'm not sure it's the OP's responsibility to police that.
It may be. Then again, it may not be. While the OP doesn't have a responsibility to police another person's dynamic, she does have the responsibility to respect what should be the relationship that has the highest priority in her friend's life. I don't really think that's happened here.
I completely understand that some (if not most) folks are not high protocol. I'm all for it, in fact, because they are doing what works for them. At the same time, I ask that people do the same for Me. If someone can't handle the boundaries that I've set down, please, feel free to move along your merry way. However, if you didn't bother yourself to be educated on what is really the situation, then you have been nothing but a pawn in a manipulator's scheme. Which, quite frankly, I think the OP was.
< Message edited by LadyPact -- 3/23/2010 7:49:54 PM >
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RE: his secret.. - 
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