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RE: Relocating and Moving - 4/3/2006 8:20:49 PM   
Submotive


Posts: 440
Joined: 9/9/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cutelinygurl84

Hi I was just wondering if any of you subs out there would give up your families or relocate for your master/dom if he asked you too.  Recently my dom (bf) asked me yo move to chicago with him once he is out of college.  Not sure I want to leave my family, friends and move, I mean this is a big step.  I feel like if I dont move with him (1) we wont be together anymore we will break up or (2)  we will have a long distance relationship and to be honest I dont know if I can deal with that.  I dont want to loose him over this but I feel I might.  I just wanted advice on what to do b/c I am confussed and lost.  Any thought on this matter will be greatly appreciated.  Thank you.

Cutelinygurl84

i strongly recommend that you look into yourself deeply and find out exactly what you do want, what is really, honestly okay with you, and what you are sincerely willing to do with and for your Dom. i avoided even talking with anyone who lived somewhere i don't want to be because i figured, as the sub, it's more likely i'd be the one expected to relocate in the event W/we connected deeply.  i knew i did not want to relocate out of the King County area.

It seems apparent to me that you already know you don't want to move, but you don't want to lose you're Dom - but, reality is as reality is.

_____________________________

Owned by Scotch Master

i would rather continue alone than be permitted to show only parts of myself to my Beloved.

If you're not living as you would like to today, when are you going to start?

(in reply to cutelinygurl84)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Relocating and Moving - 4/4/2006 5:50:35 AM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline 		Only you can decide what to do....and it sounds as if you could use more information.  However, if you do go, i urge you to think practically of the short one and bear in mind moving costs, deposits, etc. should relocation back ever become a need.  i wish you much happiness.
 
candystripper

(in reply to Submotive)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Relocating and Moving - 4/4/2006 2:06:25 PM   
cutelinygurl84


Posts: 84
Joined: 3/29/2006
Status: offline 		We have to go to chicgo for my bf (dom) b/c of health reasons his doctors are there.  He says it makes no sense to travel back and forth everytime he wants to see his heart specialist.  So he figures why not live there.  Right now we live in ny and chicago is so far away from where my family is.  We cant fly to ny on holidays and vacations that will be nuts.  We dont have alot of money to travel back and forth often.   So I guess I wont be seeing much of my family if I decide to move.   I mean I do love him alot we been together 3yrs and I do plan on marrying him in the future.  I just dont know if I can give it all up thats my problem.  It seems to me like he is making it an all or nothing situation and I dont know if i can handle that at this time in my life.  Thank You for your advice.

Cutelinygurl84

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Relocating and Moving - 4/4/2006 3:03:53 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cutelinygurl84

We have to go to chicgo for my bf (dom) b/c of health reasons his doctors are there.  He says it makes no sense to travel back and forth everytime he wants to see his heart specialist.  So he figures why not live there.  Right now we live in ny and chicago is so far away from where my family is.  We cant fly to ny on holidays and vacations that will be nuts.  We dont have alot of money to travel back and forth often.   So I guess I wont be seeing much of my family if I decide to move.   I mean I do love him alot we been together 3yrs and I do plan on marrying him in the future.  I just dont know if I can give it all up thats my problem.  It seems to me like he is making it an all or nothing situation and I dont know if i can handle that at this time in my life.  Thank You for your advice.

Cutelinygurl84


You decided to raise a child with him.

You decided that you want to marry him and be his life long committed partner.

But you don't know if you're willing to move where he needs to move because it makes it harder to see your family?

You really need to have a long sit down and figure out what you REALLY want.  The fact that you're looking at this as is you're "giving up so much" and that you're painting this like he's driving you away shows that there's some serious perspective issues going on. 

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to cutelinygurl84)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Relocating and Moving - 4/4/2006 8:35:07 PM   
Evanesce


Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline 		I gotta agree with LA on this one.  And... like I said in my earlier post - He and your short person are your family now.  Not the people who raised you.  That's what happens when we grow up and start having little people of our own.  We get new families.  And sometimes those new families move to new cities.  So the question is... are you an adult now, as you've claimed to be, or are you still mommy and daddy's little girl who's afraid to let go of the apron strings?  Only you can answer that question.  Personally, I don't view what your boyfriend/dom/fiancee/whatever is asking as being outrageously insensitive.

_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich


(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Relocating and Moving - 4/5/2006 5:36:30 AM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline 		If you decide to go. do all you can to seccure employment, etc., before moving.  Once again, i wish you happiness.
 
candystripper

(in reply to Evanesce)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Relocating and Moving - 4/5/2006 6:53:22 AM   
LindaLashes


Posts: 170
Joined: 10/28/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cutelinygurl84

Hi I was just wondering if any of you subs out there would give up your families or relocate for your master/dom if he asked you too.  Recently my dom (bf) asked me yo move to chicago with him once he is out of college.  Not sure I want to leave my family, friends and move, I mean this is a big step.  I feel like if I dont move with him (1) we wont be together anymore we will break up or (2)  we will have a long distance relationship and to be honest I dont know if I can deal with that.  I dont want to loose him over this but I feel I might.  I just wanted advice on what to do b/c I am confussed and lost.  Any thought on this matter will be greatly appreciated.  Thank you.

Cutelinygurl84



My heart would say yes immidietly, but my brain would pause and think... In the end I think I would find enough reasons to say yes, I´m rootless enough.

_____________________________

Smack me around and call me Suzy...

(in reply to cutelinygurl84)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Relocating and Moving - 4/5/2006 8:10:17 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cutelinygurl84

Hi I was just wondering if any of you subs out there would give up your families or relocate for your master/dom if he asked you too.
Cutelinygurl84


yes, and this slave didn't even have a promise from him to marry her at some point in the future or an unmentionable of his that she had given birth to.  sometimes it is a GOOD thing to put distance between your family that you were born into when you have started a family of your own.
 
you go on later in this thread to explain that he wants to be closer to a heart specialist for his medical issues---personally, this slave is having a  hard time believing this is a REAL situation---that you would honestly be conflicted and confused about all of this.

(in reply to cutelinygurl84)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Relocating and Moving - 4/5/2006 8:25:26 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth
you go on later in this thread to explain that he wants to be closer to a heart specialist for his medical issues---personally, this slave is having a  hard time believing this is a REAL situation---that you would honestly be conflicted and confused about all of this.


I think she's just young, having to face hard responsibilities and choices that she didn't know she was getting into when she signed up for the whole "adult" deal.  I think she's not really sure about, nor has the perspective to see, her future or the future of her relationship and isn't comfortable with making perceived big sacrifices, even if it means long term gain, fulfillment and growth.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Relocating and Moving - 4/5/2006 9:58:00 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I think she's just young, having to face hard responsibilities and choices that she didn't know she was getting into when she signed up for the whole "adult" deal.  I think she's not really sure about, nor has the perspective to see, her future or the future of her relationship and isn't comfortable with making perceived big sacrifices, even if it means long term gain, fulfillment and growth.


no fair, LA.  YOU, of all people, to pull the age card...tsk,tsk. 
 
seriously, though, this slave sure is glad that YOU said it, instead of some old fogey like this slave!!!  generally, this slave doesn't take "youth" into account when people are going on and on about their own selfish desires in the "adult" world~way past the age of 18, or consent, as it varies, for that matter.  not too long ago this slave was responding to a post thinking, "for sure this is some 20 something--no clue, as usual"--and poof-there was her profile proudly displaying a chronological age of 45!!!!  trying to give youth the benefit of the doubt here...this slave thinks it goes beyond just simply being young in an old world.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Relocating and Moving - 4/5/2006 10:07:57 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth
no fair, LA.  YOU, of all people, to pull the age card...tsk,tsk. 
LOL I didn't pull the age card, I was quite specific.  There are people who post on this board who are younger in physical age than she is and yet I'd never call them "young."
 
Trust me, I act my age many times.  I'm very much a typical 26 yo and all that it entails.  The problem is when someone goes "I disagree with you on this issue and the problem is obviously because you're too young to understand."  Telling me "You're probably having an issue with this because you're young and haven't had to deal with it" is different, specially if I've specifically asked for help and am feeling overwhelmed. 

Her quandry was my quandry when I was 22, and I didn't even have a baby to consider. 

quote:

trying to give youth the benefit of the doubt here...this slave thinks it goes beyond just simply being young in an old world.

I agree, there's probably security issues, independent issues, financial issues, interpersonal relationship issues and other things going on. 

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Relocating and Moving - 4/5/2006 3:03:59 PM   
GeneGG


Posts: 22
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		it depends on how much you love him and wish to serve him ... i moved to be with my Master and we did have a long distance relationship for 2 1/2 years until i did move ... it did take me that long to make the move ... you could try long distance and see how you feel ... if you cant stand to be with out him, then you will move ... plus family and friends will always be there for you  ... no matter where you live ... just live life to the fullest ... be well
judy of Gene and judy

(in reply to Daddysredhead)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Relocating and Moving - 4/5/2006 4:26:53 PM   
cutelinygurl84


Posts: 84
Joined: 3/29/2006
Status: offline 		But honestly I am confussed and conflicted about this situation.  For me personally its hard choice.  I wish I could move my family to chicago then I would have no problem moving there with my bf. 

Cutelinygurl84

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Relocating and Moving - 4/6/2006 8:16:10 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cutelinygurl84

But honestly I am confussed and conflicted about this situation.  For me personally its hard choice.  I wish I could move my family to chicago then I would have no problem moving there with my bf. 

Cutelinygurl84


sometimes, (now this might not be true in your particular case, but this slave has seen this more often than not), folks in the adult world make hard decisions and tough choices and live with the consequences of those choices--having an unmentionable, committing to a D/s relationship, getting married--sometimes folks have to SACRIFICE a little, or maybe even a LOT of their own personal selfish desires, in order to fulfill the obligations that they have agreed to be a part of, as a responsible parent, spouse or comitted partner in a relationship.
 
some folks even give up homes, cars, jobs and surrender their whole selves in service to another.  some even move FAR away from the family they were born into and the friends they have known since childhood and everyone benefits from it.
Life's full of tough choices, especially when you have already made the decisions to procreate and commit yourself to a relationship with the unmentionable's father.
 
Good Luck

(in reply to cutelinygurl84)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Relocating and Moving - 4/6/2006 4:28:49 PM   
Rayne58


Posts: 746
Joined: 2/22/2005
From: Sydney Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cutelinygurl84

We have to go to chicgo for my bf (dom) b/c of health reasons his doctors are there. He says it makes no sense to travel back and forth everytime he wants to see his heart specialist. So he figures why not live there. Right now we live in ny and chicago is so far away from where my family is. We cant fly to ny on holidays and vacations that will be nuts. We dont have alot of money to travel back and forth often. So I guess I wont be seeing much of my family if I decide to move. I mean I do love him alot we been together 3yrs and I do plan on marrying him in the future. I just dont know if I can give it all up thats my problem. It seems to me like he is making it an all or nothing situation and I dont know if i can handle that at this time in my life. Thank You for your advice.

Cutelinygurl84


Can he not see a doctor/specialist in NY?? Surely it's possible to get his medical records transferred? I don't live in the US so I'm not familiar with the medical system there but that would seem to be a solution to the problem.

(in reply to cutelinygurl84)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Relocating and Moving - 4/6/2006 5:10:46 PM   
mathiasdomm


Posts: 71
Joined: 1/29/2006
Status: offline 		Cute,

You've gotten a lot of really good advice from several smart women.  Lucky, DR, and Jali are all steering you in what I figure to be the right direction.  I'm in my early twenties, doing the whole life up in the air thing.  I know that it's terribly stressful and you often feel like the deck is stacked against you.  The truth is that it's not.  You're going to exist, you're going to enjoy yourself, and you're going to get by regardless of whether or not you move.  The question isn't whether or not you're going to be happy, it's where you're going to be happier.  There are jobs in Chicago and there are jobs everywhere else.  It's just a matter of which one works for you.  The same goes for Doms, schools, and friends.  The question is which ones give you greater peace of mind. It's not all or nothing.   Think about which situation is better, in the long run, for you and 'the short one.'  The amazing thing is that you get to choose.  That makes life good.

-m

(in reply to Evanesce)
Profile   Post #: 56
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