RE: chastity and forced femme (Full Version)

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SweetDommes -> RE: chastity and forced femme (3/25/2010 8:31:05 PM)

You were told to check the FAQ because there is a section in it with at least 4 links to threads about feminization. You want to get huffy about it ... well ... that just shows us that maybe you have a reason to be defensive. Innocent people typically respond with "sorry, I didn't mean to come across that way" rather than "you guys suck for accusing me" ... As to you posting because you have the account here - um ... it's a free site. If she really wants answers, it's faster and easier to make an account and get them for herself. It's not like it will cost anything but a few moments of her time - in fact, you could set up the profile for her so that she doesn't even have to take the time to do so ...



CarrieO -> RE: chastity and forced femme (3/25/2010 8:39:08 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: readytoserveher

Well I ask an honest question the straightest answer I get is go check a faq.

Did you?

I have looked for info in several places, such as here, the frugaldomme, sexuality.org, and any other place I can find. However I can not find a single reference to how to help a novice Domme along especially a nervous novice.

If you had used the search feature to look for "new domme" or something to that effect, you would have found atleast a few threads on the topic.  I, personally, have posted links to a couple of my favorite "new domme" threads.  Your original question never mentioned her being a novice.  Instead, it was all about your desire for information on "forced femme" to share with her.

She did not post because I am the one with the account here, not her.

Maybe you could have suggested to her that she open an account and come here herself.

All I was asking for was a little guidance in how to help her get over her nervousness about things.

No, what you asked was "my keyholder is wanting to do some forced femme stuff. however she is not sure how to start doing or what should be done so I am here to ask any Mistress that is willing to give suggestions to please do so."....see the difference?

She has loved our tease and denial games and chastity has been great for her so far (bit rough on me though lol but that is to be expected). so I appreciate the not one helpful or not even nice answer.

You asked a question and were given answers.  They may not have been the answers you wanted but you were given them just the same. 

Exactly what is the point of having the ask a Mistress forum, if when you ask a question everyone takes you for a stupid wanker and will not give you even the benefit of a doubt.

Not everyone.  I asked a question of you...had you checked the FAQ thread or done any searching before posting?

Sorry I asked anything to anyone here as no one seems to be a good enough human being to simply try to help. So to all of you...... Thank you very little.

You know what's really funny, OP?  I've given this thread some thought, off and on, throughout the day because I DID look over the links/advice posted in the FAQ thread on this topic and found them somewhat wanting.  That being said...I don't care for the idea of "forced femme" mainly because I don't see having a man explore his "girly" side as a humiliating or negative thing. 
 
Your original question came across as lazy....both on your part and your mistress's.  Google...search this site...go to amazon.com and look for books...heck, take a trip to a drugstore with your lady and pick out make-up together but don't come here and ask a question that could have been easily answered by doing a bit of research and then come back and get all pissy when people point this out to you. 
 
Yes, I know you said you check a bunch of other places but really, having a man dress up and find his inner girl isn't rocket science.  Maybe the two of you need to sit down and TALK.  Discuss what things would do for you...how far either of you want to go with experimenting....would it really need to be forced and why/why not. 
 
Seriously...did you read what OttersSwim wrote?  It really is simple...or as complex as the two of you want it to be.  Which is why your little passive-aggressive rant makes no sense. 
 
Best of luck to you both...and yes, I do mean that.



edited for clarification



KITTYLECTRO -> RE: chastity and forced femme (3/25/2010 8:54:58 PM)

Don't waste your time by allowing yourself to be corralled into "faq" or "feminization" threads created by those who very clearly hate crossdressers or people into feminization.

There are much friendlier places with a lot less bigotry :)



CarrieO -> RE: chastity and forced femme (3/25/2010 9:07:15 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: KITTYLECTRO

There are much friendlier places with a lot less bigotry :)



What might be helpful is if you could post some links to one of the threads listed on the FAQs... maybe THIS one...that could actually lead someone to these places.  When I looked at what was posted there as advice, I was surprised at how little there really was.

Just a thought....fwiw.



Lockit -> RE: chastity and forced femme (3/25/2010 9:09:28 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: KITTYLECTRO

Don't waste your time by allowing yourself to be corralled into "faq" or "feminization" threads created by those who very clearly hate crossdressers or people into feminization.

There are much friendlier places with a lot less bigotry :)



I don't see you offering anything other than how you feel about us, how you view us, which is your opinion and not how many of us feel and to send people to other places. How about you formulate something for him? I'm sure you have lots of idea's and experience that you could help him with.

When someone is sincere and it is clear to me, I have even shopped with them and for them. I've encouraged them and supported them. However, when someone is vastly interested in something you would think they would use all the available resources of the net that are there, to explore, research and use. Rather than taking a lazy way and asking us to tell them, which many have used to abuse our good will by wanking to. You want personal information that provides what you aren't willing to do yourself, we see as lazy, unimaginative and quite often someone just wanting to know who to email or things to wank to. Many haven't even had a dominant and were talking about a non existent person. We have a right to refrain when we suspect something or just simply want to encourage people to get off their ass and do something for themselves.



Rochsub2009 -> RE: chastity and forced femme (3/25/2010 11:05:54 PM)

Kitty,
It seems to me that you don't particularly like CollarMe.  You have suggested (on multiple occasions) that people go to Fetlife (which always amazes me.  i would think the Admins would ban such behavior.  Most sites don't allow posts that clearly say "leave here and go to the competition").  You have called the people here bigots.  You have said that the people here are not particularly helpful.  All of this begs the question "why do you come here?"

i am not attacking you.  We have never had a quarrel or disagreement that i can remember.  But as an outside observer, it really does seem like you don't like this site or its inhabitants.  Am i wrong?



SweetDommes -> RE: chastity and forced femme (3/25/2010 11:24:41 PM)

What I want to know is this: Why does having preferences make us bigots? Can you please answer that, Kitty? You throw that word around as if it's appropriate here, when it's clearly not. You've been asked this on similar thread before and have neglected to answer - I wonder if it's because you can't justify your use of the word. I, for one, don't hate crossdressers. I live with one and have for the last 6 years. I have friends who are crossdressers. I am not, however, turned on by crossdressing. I don't particularly want another crossdresser in the house. Why does that make me a bigot?

I have preferences, as do others. Some people prefer women, some prefer men, some prefer blonds, some prefer redheads, some prefer skinny partners, some prefer 'thick' partners, some prefer this, some prefer that. Are they all bigots? I think not. So why are those of us who aren't interested in feminizing our boy(s), and get rather tired of the same old questions about it (coming off as wank-fishing) labeled as bigots? A line from The Princess Bride comes to mind, actually ... "I do not think that word means what you think it means"



Rochsub2009 -> RE: chastity and forced femme (3/25/2010 11:32:51 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

However, when someone is vastly interested in something you would think they would use all the available resources of the net that are there, to explore, research and use. Rather than taking a lazy way and asking us to tell them, which many have used to abuse our good will by wanking to. You want personal information that provides what you aren't willing to do yourself, we see as lazy, unimaginative and quite often someone just wanting to know who to email or things to wank to. Many haven't even had a dominant and were talking about a non existent person.



i'm with Lockit on this one. 

The internet is an amazing resource.  It's a vast storehouse of the collective knowledge of mankind.  Yet some people come on here and it's clear that they haven't even done the slightest bit of research on their own.

i have been with MANY Dommes over the years.  Yet, i have never had a single one say to me "i am interested in performing (insert your favorite kink here) on you.  Go on-line to a BDSM website and ask random strangers how i should go about performing (insert your favorite kink here) on you". 

My experience doesn't represent the totality of mankind.  My combined experiences are not even statistically significant.  But i have never run across a Dom/Domme who exhibits this behavior.  Have any of you Doms/Dommes ever done that? 

Yet it seems like at least once a week there is a sub (usually male) who comes on here and says that his Domme instructed him to come on here and ask a question that makes her seem like a lazy, stupid, amateur.  You know the type of question i mean. They go something like this:

"My Domme told me to come on here and ask "how many of you like to force your sub to sleep with your dirty panties in his mouth?"   Please provide vivid details about these sessions so i can share them with my Mistress"

or

"My Mistress asked me to come on here and get suggestions on how She can f*ck me up the a$$ with a strap-on"

or

"My Mistress is really into making me suck cocks out of glory holes in public restrooms.  She asked me to come on here and ask for suggestions on how She can force me to suck even more cocks".

The questions almost always include kinks that are much more oriented toward male fantasies than they are to things that a Domme would actually enjoy. 

Heck, i'm a male sub, and even i get tired of reading that crap.  So forgive me if i sometimes respond with jokes, rather than valid answers to fake questions.  [8|]



KITTYLECTRO -> RE: chastity and forced femme (3/26/2010 12:43:51 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009
Am i wrong?

Absolutely wrong. For the most part I quite like collarme.com and like the vast majority of the individuals I've communicated with here, otherwise I would not return. Your concern is appreciated, thank you.



Rochsub2009 -> RE: chastity and forced femme (3/26/2010 8:13:17 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: KITTYLECTRO

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009
Am i wrong?

Absolutely wrong. For the most part I quite like collarme.com and like the vast majority of the individuals I've communicated with here, otherwise I would not return. Your concern is appreciated, thank you.



Well that's good to hear. 

As far as the OP goes, forced femme is not my particular kink, but i am always a very active participant in threads pertaining to chastity.  It is a kink that i have a lot of experience in, and i share my experiences liberally.  However, i only do so when i think the OP is sincere.

Frankly, i thought that Otterswim did a great job of answering the forced femme part of the question.  It really is a pretty simple concept, and i wasn't sure why the OP needed to ask about it.

Thanks for the reply.



RedMagic1 -> RE: chastity and forced femme (3/26/2010 8:28:24 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009
You have suggested (on multiple occasions) that people go to Fetlife (which always amazes me.  i would think the Admins would ban such behavior.  Most sites don't allow posts that clearly say "leave here and go to the competition"). 

I don't think the CM leadership considers FetLife to be competition.  If you do a search, you can find the thread John Baku started here, to announce the creation of FetLife -- and, as you note, there are many posts where CM users suggest checking out groups on Fet, etc.  I'm a member of both sites, like a lot of kinky people who are internet-savvy.  Both sites have different strengths and weaknesses.

I don't know exact numbers, but it's clear to me from searches that there are a lot of new people joining CM every day -- and there are new posters on these boards every day.  The net is clearly big enough for both sites.



cloudboy -> RE: chastity and forced femme (3/26/2010 8:52:10 AM)


His position is pretty clear. His profile reads:

i am not one of those wimpy subs. i am a real man. i won't beg you to feminize me or force me to wear panties.




VaguelyCurious -> RE: chastity and forced femme (3/26/2010 9:32:23 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy


His position is pretty clear. His profile reads:

i am not one of those wimpy subs. i am a real man. i won't beg you to feminize me or force me to wear panties.


Cloudboy, how about instead of talking about Rochsub you answer the OP constructively? Seeing as how he's returned and made me feel a little bad, I'll start:

This isn't my area of expertise (quite happy to play with genderfluid people but not really interested in feminising anyone) but I'd guess that something simple and good for a nervous person to do would be to set aside some time to just mess around with makeup. Sit in a well-lit room (no need to go all dungeon-y), tip out some make-up supplies and let her go to town on your face.

She doesn't have to show you what she's done if she doesn't want to-she could put you so you aren't facing any mirrors until she's done, and then if she doesn't want you to see she can remove it all before she lets you up.

That way she can focus on her own fun, at her own pace.

Good idea?




Domin8tingUrDrmz -> RE: chastity and forced femme (3/26/2010 9:34:54 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: KITTYLECTRO

Don't waste your time by allowing yourself to be corralled into "faq" or "feminization" threads created by those who very clearly hate crossdressers or people into feminization.

There are much friendlier places with a lot less bigotry :)




Kitty,

When Sylvere and I were trying to put that FAQ together we asked EVERYONE, male and female to put in suggestions in how to improve it. I don't recall seeing you bother with any constructive suggestions whatsoever.

It is quite clear that many of us women here are not interested in feminizing our boys. That doesn't make us bigots. Instead, why don't YOU create a thread or make a post to one of the threads there, offering positive advice? That is of course, if you are capable of such. From what I've seen, you are only capable of calling folks bigots when they aren't interested in what you so obviously enjoy.

Rather than focusing on our dislike of the subject, why not focus on your enjoyment of it, and give all the boys looking for advice, some advice.



Rochsub2009 -> RE: chastity and forced femme (3/26/2010 9:37:32 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

I'm a member of both sites, like a lot of kinky people who are internet-savvy.  Both sites have different strengths and weaknesses.

The net is clearly big enough for both sites.



i agree with you, Red.  i am on both sites as well.  Frankly, it was a member of this site who encouraged me to join that site.  But it was done through private IM.

i don't know if there are any rules about sending people from one site to the other.  But i tend to avoid doing so.  It just seems like bad etiquette.

i run several websites, and i would ban any member who sent my members to one of my competitors.  But that's just me.  Clearly CM practices no such policies.



Rochsub2009 -> RE: chastity and forced femme (3/26/2010 9:49:18 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

Cloudboy, how about instead of talking about Rochsub you answer the OP constructively? Seeing as how he's returned and made me feel a little bad



i apologize to everyone about the threadjacking.  Back to your originally scheduled program.

Forced fem isn't my kink, but it seems pretty simple.  Why not have his Domme take him to a mall and shop for some womens clothing.  She can humiliate him by having him ask the salesperson for panties and other female accessories that will fit him.

Once he's got all of his girlywear, the Domme can dress him up, put make-up on him, and then take him out to a bar or nightclub and flaunt his "beauty".  She might even make him try to flirt with guys at the bar/nightclub.

Not so difficult.  It's just a more detailed version of what Otterswim wrote.

Of course, those who are into forced femme can probably create scenarios that really focus more on the specific stimuli that make that kink enjoyable.  i have little experience to draw upon in this area.  i had a Domme who used to make me wear panties under my business suit.  The more important the meetings or presentation that i had that day, the prettier and more girly my panties had to be.  If i was presenting to the President or CEO, she would even make me wear a bra, garterbelt, and fishnet stockings under my suit.  But that is the limit of my experience.

Maybe KittyElectro can add more.



hardbodysub -> RE: chastity and forced femme (3/26/2010 9:49:24 AM)

quote:

You want to get huffy about it ... well ... that just shows us that maybe you have a reason to be defensive. Innocent people typically respond with "sorry, I didn't mean to come across that way" rather than "you guys suck for accusing me"


Wrong. Just simply wrong. When somebody posts a serious question and get nothing back but ridicule, it's natural for them to feel offended. The assertion that this proves they have something to feel guilty about, that the innocent wouldn't respond with indignation, is total BS.



LadyPact -> RE: chastity and forced femme (3/26/2010 10:07:24 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: readytoserveher

Well I ask an honest question the straightest answer I get is go check a faq. I have looked for info in several places, such as here, the frugaldomme, sexuality.org, and any other place I can find. However I can not find a single reference to how to help a novice Domme along especially a nervous novice. She did not post because I am the one with the account here, not her. All I was asking for was a little guidance in how to help her get over her nervousness about things. She has loved our tease and denial games and chastity has been great for her so far (bit rough on me though lol but that is to be expected). so I appreciate the not one helpful or not even nice answer. Exactly what is the point of having the ask a Mistress forum, if when you ask a question everyone takes you for a stupid wanker and will not give you even the benefit of a doubt. Sorry I asked anything to anyone here as no one seems to be a good enough human being to simply try to help. So to all of you...... Thank you very little.

As has been pointed out to you, your original question didn't have a thing to do with that.  You didn't mention a thing about her being nervous, or a novice.  What your original said was that you were new to a particular activity.  That doesn't mean that she is new to domination.  I can promise you that I take on new activities all of the time if I find an interest in them, and I am absolutely not a novice.

What you really asked was how to go about forced femme and quite frankly, Otters reply to you matched exactly what you asked for.  (It was actually something that I was going to say Myself, but I didn't want to be snarky.)  How freaking hard can it be for a Dominant woman to tell her submissive to wear a pair of panties (for a start) on a particular day of the week? 

Also, as was pointed out to you, it isn't that difficult to create a profile here.  People do it every day.  Isn't that how you got one?  The idea that she can't be bothered with it does strike most folks as a little off.

Quite frankly, I was nice to you.  I told you exactly what I would do if I were her.  That may have to do with the fact that I do have some experience as a Dominant woman under My belt and I don't pussy foot around if I have a new area of play that I want to explore.  It means I am going to take whatever idea it is that I have in My head, take those means necessary for Me to learn about it so that I can execute it safely, and then My boy's going to submit to it.  Sure, I might be nervous about some forms of play because they can be considered dangerous activities and I'm a firm believer in RACK.  Feminization doesn't fall into this category.

I said this last week and I'll say it again.  OP, if you were a female sub and your Dominant was male and you presented a similar situation, many male Dominants on these boards would say that if a Dominant didn't know what to do with their sub, there are plenty of them out there that would.  She needs to be brave enough to decide if this is what she wants to do or to let it go.  Nobody can coddle her or use kid gloves on her to get her to be a Dominant woman.



SweetDommes -> RE: chastity and forced femme (3/26/2010 10:09:02 AM)

The fact of the matter is that the OP did get back answers that were informative and not just ridiculing him, yet he still got defensive. I stand by my statement that if he wasn't fishing for wank material (even if he does have other reasons behind it, I believe that the wank factor is over 50% of why he asked what he did, how he did), then he would have responded like so many others with "sorry, I didn't mean to come across that way."

And interestingly enough, although not surprisingly, my other points in both of my posts were completely ignored ... by you, hardbody, and by the person I posed a question to.



cloudboy -> RE: chastity and forced femme (3/26/2010 10:53:17 AM)

quote:

the OP



I don't know how you can want to do something as a Domme, not know how to do it, and then suggest that your sub ask others on the internet for ideas. So, I am dubious.

Next, CM has consistently proven to be a forced-femme disaster area.

The combination of sad, naive, or newbie OPs and biggoted attitudes --- its just part of the landscape here. After a few more cycles, maybe someone can jump start a new forcced masculinization topic.

The only thing I learned here was Rochsub2009's definition of "a real man." Must say, that kind of leaped out at me. Domiguy will still think he is a pussy for liking strap-ons. Speaking of whom, I'm sure if anyone could flip Domi -- it would be Mistressdolly.

What "real man" likes to do housework, grocery shopping, wear a collar, and otherwise by what greater society would call "pussy-whipped." No wonder so many would rather draw the line on real men through simple clothing standards.



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