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How much of submission is sexual for you? - 3/26/2010 12:56:44 AM

downland

Posts: 6
Joined: 12/1/2008
Status: offline

I've always been sexually Dominant, but lately I find myself drawn to the mental and emotional aspects of the D/s relationship.

Do you identify yourself as a "lifestyle" sub, or do you confine your activities to the bedroom? And were you always this way?

Post #: 1

RE: How much of submission is sexual for you? - 3/26/2010 1:13:04 AM

allyC

Posts: 778
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: Las Vegas
Status: offline

Good morning (or evening

) I consider the sexual aspect of my submission to be only a small portion of the whole. (A really fun, important, small portion though!) hehe Seriously though - my submission is a reaction to his authority and dominance - those things are present in all aspects of our life together. He masters, I submit. :) Well wishes, Cav's ally Wow... for once I didn't write a novel!

(in reply to downland)

Post #: 2

RE: How much of submission is sexual for you? - 3/26/2010 3:07:00 AM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

I know that when he takes control I feel safe. Not just sexual. It feels calming. He has a wonderful way of being in charge. We have never had any kind of "I say and you do because I say" kind of interaction (yet anyway). Even when he wanted me to move to a different country, I explained why I thought my current situation was better for me and for us, and he listened and agreed with me... and gave me a few other things to think about.

I don't know that I "submit" to him so much as I respect him and his opinion... now behind closed doors... welllllll..... lemme go do some more research on that!

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to allyC)

Post #: 3

RE: How much of submission is sexual for you? - 3/26/2010 4:05:59 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

I think everybody starts with the sexual aspects. It's a lot more fun than ordering someone to do the laundry. And if it isn't fun for both the first time, there probably won't be a second.

So what do you mean by the mental and emotional aspects? Conditioning her to feel aroused at the sight of a mop? But that would be sexual also.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

Post #: 4

RE: How much of submission is sexual for you? - 3/26/2010 5:20:55 AM

windchymes

Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline

For me, it's not a matter of doing something because he said to do it, or even being aroused by the mere site of the Swiffer, but if a sparkly clean house is going to make him happy when he gets home, then I want to do it. The fact that there's probably going to be something sexual in it later is icing on the cake.

Although, there IS something about power tools......

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 5

RE: How much of submission is sexual for you? - 3/26/2010 5:33:35 AM

wisdomtogive

Posts: 636
Joined: 11/13/2009
Status: offline

I live in the mental world which seeps through the emotional realms of my mind, as well as the sexual. Intensity is one word that fits me, and if i am not mentally 'set-on-fire' the rest is like dead wood.

_____________________________

Happily owned by MstrDark1

(in reply to windchymes)

Post #: 6

RE: How much of submission is sexual for you? - 3/26/2010 6:30:59 AM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline

I see us as sexual beings and everything we do is influenced by our sex and our sexuality and I'd like to see someone convince me, my wanting to beat a woman wasn't sexy to me.

< Message edited by osf -- 3/26/2010 6:32:07 AM >

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to wisdomtogive)

Post #: 7

RE: How much of submission is sexual for you? - 3/26/2010 6:42:34 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

Do you identify yourself as a "lifestyle" sub, or do you confine your activities to the bedroom? And were you always this way?

this slave's submission is not confined to the bedroom/dungeon...it permeates every aspect/relationship of her life, sexual or otherwise...and has as far back as she can remember.

(in reply to downland)

Post #: 8

RE: How much of submission is sexual for you? - 3/26/2010 6:43:47 AM

VirginPotty

Posts: 11624
Joined: 7/16/2008
From: Virginville
Status: offline

In my time at work (both paid & volunteer) I am definitely not in a submissive role but he is always in my thoughts wondering what I can do to make him happy so he has that mental bondage going on

It started out in the bedroom & has expanded to include everyday activites.

_____________________________

Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.

(in reply to osf)

Post #: 9

RE: How much of submission is sexual for you? - 3/26/2010 6:46:20 AM

kadine

Posts: 14
Joined: 8/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

Do you identify yourself as a "lifestyle" sub, or do you confine your activities to the bedroom? And were you always this way?

I have been submissive for as long as I can remember. While my sisters would whine and complain over the chores our father would assign to us, I loved completing any task given to me by him. To gain his praise and attention meant everything to me, throughout my growing up years, all the way up until his death.
I've always been somewhat of a "pleaser" and it was only a natural thing for me to carry it through to my adulthood. My subservience is part of my spirit, it's in my soul. I firmly believe I was born this way. I thrive within a structured routine, beneath a loving, disciplinary Master, both in and out of the bedroom.

(in reply to downland)

Post #: 10

RE: How much of submission is sexual for you? - 3/26/2010 6:52:53 AM

peppermint

Posts: 5169
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline

Actually, our sex life is really rather vanilla. However, our every day dynamic is Dominant/submissive.

(in reply to downland)

Post #: 11

RE: How much of submission is sexual for you? - 3/26/2010 7:47:41 AM

bondmaid123

Posts: 143
Joined: 6/6/2009
Status: offline

I've really only recently started exploring the sort of "classic BDSM version of submission in the bedroom" stuff (and some of it creeps me out to no end.. lol). However, from a practical perspective, I've classified myself as submissive (according to the Gorean paradigm, not necessarily the definition I see used in the BDSM side of things) since I was 12 and had words for it. (I'm 37, so that's a very long time, and way longer than there's been any active involvement in my sex life with it.)

(in reply to peppermint)

Post #: 12

RE: How much of submission is sexual for you? - 3/26/2010 7:50:13 AM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: bondmaid123

I've really only recently started exploring the sort of "classic BDSM version of submission in the bedroom" stuff (and some of it creeps me out to no end.. lol). However, from a practical perspective, I've classified myself as submissive (according to the Gorean paradigm, not necessarily the definition I see used in the BDSM side of things) since I was 12 and had words for it. (I'm 37, so that's a very long time, and way longer than there's been any active involvement in my sex life with it.)

you don't have to like it to do it

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to bondmaid123)

Post #: 13

RE: How much of submission is sexual for you? - 3/26/2010 7:56:22 AM

slavekal

Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline

Not confined to the bedroom, but all of it is sexually charged. Our lifestyle is unique in that scrubbing the bathroom floor can be converted into foreplay.

_____________________________

"The Courage to Submit: the submissive male's guide to finding a dominant woman"
http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/the-courage-to-submit-the-guide-for-the-submissive-male-seeking-a-dominant-woman/5968917

(in reply to downland)

Post #: 14

RE: How much of submission is sexual for you? - 3/26/2010 8:15:10 AM

sublizzie

Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline

My submission permeates all of my life. Sexual submission or kinky playtime are froth on the rootbeer. The froth tickles my nose and is fun but the rootbeer itself is what quenches my thirst.

_____________________________

"cooking is my kink"

Collared June 19, 2008
(uncollared 12/21/09 with his death. RIP my Santa)

(in reply to slavekal)

Post #: 15

RE: How much of submission is sexual for you? - 3/26/2010 8:27:25 AM

antinomy

Posts: 124
Joined: 3/7/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

quote:

ORIGINAL: bondmaid123

I've really only recently started exploring the sort of "classic BDSM version of submission in the bedroom" stuff (and some of it creeps me out to no end.. lol). However, from a practical perspective, I've classified myself as submissive (according to the Gorean paradigm, not necessarily the definition I see used in the BDSM side of things) since I was 12 and had words for it. (I'm 37, so that's a very long time, and way longer than there's been any active involvement in my sex life with it.)

you don't have to like it to do it

This was not to me, I know....and while I agree, as I do lots of things on a daily basis I don't like doing, from taking out the garbage to mending a button(I hate sewing). That said, I do those things either because I have to (i.e., don't want to live in a house that wreaks of garbage) or because the benefit outweighs the dislike (why throw out a $50.00 blouse over a missing button?).

However, in BDSM, why would anyone want to be in a relationship where they were constantly doing things they don't like to do? I mean, sure, obedience is called for when a person is owned. And sometimes we may do things we don't like to do in order to make our partners happy, or to be obedient to their demands. But, since we are talking consensual ownership, does it not make sense that the submissive would find a situation where, more often than not, he/she was content with what was happening the majority of the time, too? Even those that crave control have preferences, and if you constantly do things you don't like doing, I'm thinking you are in the wrong relationship.

(in reply to osf)

Post #: 16

RE: How much of submission is sexual for you? - 3/26/2010 8:28:39 AM

bondmaid123

Posts: 143
Joined: 6/6/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

quote:

ORIGINAL: bondmaid123

I've really only recently started exploring the sort of "classic BDSM version of submission in the bedroom" stuff (and some of it creeps me out to no end.. lol). However, from a practical perspective, I've classified myself as submissive (according to the Gorean paradigm, not necessarily the definition I see used in the BDSM side of things) since I was 12 and had words for it. (I'm 37, so that's a very long time, and way longer than there's been any active involvement in my sex life with it.)

you don't have to like it to do it

I know. I serve my master sliced tomatoes all the time and trust me, tomatoes are *way* high on my "ACK!" list. Fortunately we don't really have a "How much of a heartless bastard-jerkwad bastard can I be to my slave" dynamic, esp. when it comes to sex. Over time that sort of interaction (for me) erodes the trust I place in my master not to fuck me up psychologically. (It sort of goes with the territory). But it still doesn't mean I see my submission as being wrapped up solely in bedroom activities. :)

(in reply to osf)

Post #: 17

RE: How much of submission is sexual for you? - 3/26/2010 10:02:03 AM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

I was born submissive and the mental ans emotional bondage are very important to me The sex is wonderful and i don't think i could sumit with out ehr mental emotional and sexual aspects were not there. I love to serve my Master in ALL ways sex is part of that. Now that is not saying if something happened and we could ot have sex i would ask release. Sex is just as someone elas said icing on the cake.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to bondmaid123)

Post #: 18

RE: How much of submission is sexual for you? - 3/26/2010 10:04:22 AM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: bondmaid123

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

quote:

ORIGINAL: bondmaid123

I've really only recently started exploring the sort of "classic BDSM version of submission in the bedroom" stuff (and some of it creeps me out to no end.. lol). However, from a practical perspective, I've classified myself as submissive (according to the Gorean paradigm, not necessarily the definition I see used in the BDSM side of things) since I was 12 and had words for it. (I'm 37, so that's a very long time, and way longer than there's been any active involvement in my sex life with it.)

you don't have to like it to do it

I know. I serve my master sliced tomatoes all the time and trust me, tomatoes are *way* high on my "ACK!" list. Fortunately we don't really have a "How much of a heartless bastard-jerkwad bastard can I be to my slave" dynamic, esp. when it comes to sex. Over time that sort of interaction (for me) erodes the trust I place in my master not to fuck me up psychologically. (It sort of goes with the territory). But it still doesn't mean I see my submission as being wrapped up solely in bedroom activities. :)

What???? he doesn't bend you over the car hood in the parking lot?

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to bondmaid123)

Post #: 19

RE: How much of submission is sexual for you? - 3/26/2010 10:24:21 AM

bondmaid123

Posts: 143
Joined: 6/6/2009
Status: offline

Didn't you read the memo, sir? We Goreans don't have "cars" and "parking lots".... *rolling eyes in mock derision*

Seriously... I'm not sure where you're going with this. Of course he doesn't. Neither of us are interested in pursing jail sentences. Never been a fantasy for either of us........ ~shrugs~

(in reply to osf)

Post #: 20

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