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Should i tell Master? - 3/26/2010 5:41:23 PM

love9boy

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Joined: 3/21/2010
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First off, i am new to this life. Lead a vanilla lifestyle up until 2 months ago when I met Master. We don't live together and have been together 9 times now. He is teaching me to serve Him sexually right now and says He wants to bring me into His family in the future to teach me to serve him domesticlly. We text and email each other everyday. I got payed yesterday and found out today that the IRS levied all of my bank accounts and left me flat broke! I have 20 bucks to my name and wasn't able to pay my bills that are due next month. i am really scared and don't know what to do? Do i keep this to myself and just fix the problem? Or, do i tell him? We are still getting to know each other and i feel like this isn't something that you would tell someone you barely know. i do need help in this matter and have reached out to friends and family but they can't help. He is my last resort. But, shouldn't he have been my first? i am so confused and don't want to disapoint him or make him think i want his money. Please, any and all advice is greatly appreciated!

Post #: 1

RE: Should i tell Master? - 3/26/2010 5:55:43 PM

TexasGorean

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Joined: 7/24/2009
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A lot depends upon your relationship dynamic with your Master. Is this a Dom/sub, BDSM ?
It also depends of if your Master takes being your Master seriously and if he feels an obligation for your care. In my opinion as a Gorean Master, the Master has an obligation for the care and well-being of a slave that has submitted to him. Now there are varying degrees of obligation depending if the slave is a training slave, a part-time slave or a live-in 24/7.

You SHOULD tell your Master your issue, but depending on your relationship, he may or may not be willing to help you financially.

< Message edited by TexasGorean -- 3/26/2010 5:58:15 PM >

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Post #: 2

RE: Should i tell Master? - 3/26/2010 5:57:06 PM

subtee

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Joined: 7/26/2007
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No.

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RE: Should i tell Master? - 3/26/2010 6:00:42 PM

loverly

Posts: 236
Joined: 1/23/2004
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no i personally wouldn't until after i had gone to appointments or at least set them up and made the necessary phone calls.
....and there are alot of agencies that WILL help you....start with the salvation army and the YWCA and also social services they will help you get caught up ....

Good Luck!

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Post #: 4

RE: Should i tell Master? - 3/26/2010 6:12:35 PM

love9boy

Posts: 11
Joined: 3/21/2010
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i am a slave in training. i have a lot to learn in regards to serving Master. if we were living togther i know i would have to tell him. But, i don't want to burden him with my problems because our relationship is so brand new. i do feel he takes his Mastery seriously. He lives this life 24/7 and that's how our life together would be. He already knows how much i owe the IRS. So that wouldn't be shocking to him. If/when i tell him i am scared he will not want to own me any longer. i desire to be with him forever and have told him that. Like i said I don't want to disappoint him and make him think i am after his money.

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Post #: 5

RE: Should i tell Master? - 3/26/2010 6:21:41 PM

VampiresLair

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If he already knows about the amount of money you owe, then where would the problem in telling him what has happened be? Dont ask him for money, dont ask him for help, just let him know that you are in a bad position because of the levies and leave it at that. If he chooses to offer help, that will be his decision. If not, at least he will understand if you are unable to manage anything financial anytime soon. Show him you can be responsible, and make your own appointments and work towards fixing the situation on your own without asking for help from him.

I know personally, I would want to know how someone I was bringing into my home would handle a financial disaster like this. I would not have been happy that it happened that way, Id have found out why you were in that situation and I would expect you to be capable of handling it yourself before I would want you to share my home. That way, I could be sure that once you were indeed with me I would be able to trust you in case of a future problem rather than worrying about you falling to pieces over it.

DV

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RE: Should i tell Master? - 3/26/2010 6:44:10 PM

subtee

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quote:

ORIGINAL: love9boy
i do need help in this matter and have reached out to friends and family but they can't help. He is my last resort. But, shouldn't he have been my first? i am so confused and don't want to disapoint him or make him think i want his money. Please, any and all advice is greatly appreciated!

[snip]

He didn't sign on to be your last resort. I'm sorry this is happening to you. Imagine your circumstances without him; what can you do?

You're so new together, I would suggest finding another way.

_____________________________

Don't believe everything you think...

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RE: Should i tell Master? - 3/26/2010 6:58:28 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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Yes, I would want to be told. Since you text/email every day, he's going to kind of wonder why that stops when the cell phone and internet connection are turned off. That's the decent thing to do, rather than to make this person wonder why you dropped off of the face of the earth and are no longer in contact.

Truthfully, while I do feel bad for what you are going through, if I were considered the 'last resort' in this scenario, I'd make sure you realized that there were other last resorts besides Me. It wouldn't be a case of Me taking you in or anything else of that nature. I'd point you in the direction of some agencies that would help you.

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RE: Should i tell Master? - 3/26/2010 7:09:00 PM

subtee

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Cell and Internet:

"Sir/Master, I'm afraid I won't be available for a while. I'm working to resolve a situation I didn't foresee. Please believe me it has no reflection on You or how I feel about You, just something financial I need to handle."

_____________________________

Don't believe everything you think...

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RE: Should i tell Master? - 3/26/2010 7:11:27 PM

love9boy

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Joined: 3/21/2010
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wow, i totally made a mistake by saying Master is a "Last Resort". He is my first priority at all times. i am sorry for the mess up. I guess what i meant by him being the last resort was i don't want him to think i can't handle this on my own without needing his financial assistance. i don't want him thinking i am after his money. All i want is to please Him. Not disappoint.

< Message edited by love9boy -- 3/26/2010 7:33:19 PM >

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Post #: 10

RE: Should i tell Master? - 3/26/2010 7:14:34 PM

lovingpet

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I am cross posting a response in the event the other thread gets pulled. *seriously wonders if this is against TOS*

I would simply tell him what happened, but not make an appeal for money. It is enough to tell him you are flat broke and bills are due that you will not be able to pay. In the meantime, call all the people you owe and set up payment arrangements. If this is not something that happens in some fashion all the time and it is a one time issue (ie: the IRS is done taking your money), then most will work with you and others may have suggestion of where you can obtain short term help. You don't necessarily need your new master's money. You just need his support and encouragement through a difficult time. If he happens to offer financial assistance, use it sparingly and pay it back as quickly as possible.

I don't believe in keeping things from an intimate partner. Bad stuff happens. I had to dump a similiarly heavy, though not involving money, issue at my partner's feet early in our relationship. A good partner can deal with the fact that life isn't always perfect. It will be a good indicator of how your new partner handles real life issues. Whether he offers you money or not is not the measure. Whether or not he leaves you stranded without even so much as a shoulder to lean on is.

I wish the best for you in this matter. Take good care and if there is information I might have that could help you please let me know.

lovingpet

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RE: Should i tell Master? - 3/26/2010 7:25:47 PM

ishyB

Posts: 555
Joined: 9/2/2008
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Greetings love9boy,

I'm a slave in a 24/7 type relationship.

I can tell you from experience that the most important thing Dominants who are interested in these types of relationships expect is complete transparency.
They want to know their slave inside and out, and usually do not accept that ANYTHING is kept from them.

Thus, if this relationship were to head the direction you would like it to go, that means that he WILL find out eventually, because you would get to a point where you would tell him about it, even if the problem is already solved by then.
He might be very upset to find out that you have kept something from him, in phase in the relationship where mutual trust was being built.

If I found myself in your situation, I would tell him about it, but make it very clear that I do not expect him to offer me any assistance, financially or otherwise to help fix the problem. I would grateful for any guidance that he offered, but would be reluctant to accept financial support from him.

Also, the way he will deal with this problem will tell you a lot about him. I would become more careful in my desire to submit to them if a Dominant I was talking to would either A) ignore the situation completely up to the point of refusing to discuss it or B) would try to step in and take over completely when they have no clear view on the depth and details of the situation, especially if their "solutions" becomes totally unrealistic (something I've seen happen with other slaves before).
I would consider it a good response on his behalf if he would show an interest in your problem, would offer advice and guidance, be reluctant to offer financial help, and would listen very carefully to your opinion on how to solve the situation (seeing that they would not have all the details).
A man who would try to micromanage something like this from a distance without a long history together would be a big sign of trouble to me.

I wish you well,

ishy

_____________________________

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Someone's gotta go
and I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I wanted to move on
So I'm already gone

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Post #: 12

RE: Should i tell Master? - 3/26/2010 7:44:14 PM

homedespot

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Joined: 5/28/2006
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I have a very short list of rules, rituals and protocols that I require.What you are taking about is number 1on a 4 rule list

Full and open disclosure. Information and decisions belong to Me.

In-other-words: you don't have to present the information in a way the dumps it on him to make it right, but if you were in training for Me and you didn't tell Me you'd be out.

Oddly often these types of things, and they way you handle them, can bring strength to a relationship.

My Rules. My Opinion.

J.

(in reply to love9boy)

Post #: 13

RE: Should i tell Master? - 3/26/2010 8:44:53 PM

dreamerdreaming

Posts: 2839
Status: offline

He already knows you've been in a bad way, financially. Its important that he be kept up to date in the events of your life. Otherwise, why bother? If you can't be honest with one another, you're wasting each others' time.

Just tell him you've got a major situation going on, but that you're handling it. Then fill him in on the gory details, and what you're doing to remedy your troubles. He needs to see how you handle adversity, over time. And he needs to know that you're a real fuck-up, financially. Lots of people have financial troubles, but he needs to know the truth about just how much of a financial train wreck you are. To keep something this major from him, with the nature of the relationship you're beginning, would be very dishonest and detrimental.

If you're worried he'll leave you over it, or whatever else is going through your mind, tell him! But don't expect or ask for a rescue, from him. Show him you can handle adversity well, and that you've learned from this experience. He'll want to see what positive steps you're taking, and what you've learned, so that you won't repeat the same mistakes that led up to these events. He'll want to see that you understand all of the mistakes you've made along the way, and what you need to do to change.

If he sees you vilifying the IRS, playing the victim, and not taking steps to effect real change so these sorts of things won't plague you in the future, then would you blame him if he dropped you? We all want someone who has a sense of personal responsibility, and who learns from their mistakes.

Continue to be completely honest with him. He's known you for like, five seconds. He'll be looking to see how you handle this, for a clear view of your character. Man up.

(Edited for spelling. I am going to start using the spellcheck feature here, which I've recently downloaded. It does work, FYI.)

< Message edited by dreamerdreaming -- 3/26/2010 8:49:31 PM >

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RE: Should i tell Master? - 3/26/2010 9:21:16 PM

RealSub58

Posts: 1073
Status: offline

been there

quote:

ORIGINAL: love9boy
i am really scared and don't know what to do?
yes you do.....there are plenty of attorney's, debt companies and the IRS has a site where they will help if you go to them

i am a slave in training.
so what? you were a vanilla man being irresponsible and this is no excuse

He already knows how much i owe the IRS.
why does he know this if you are afraid to tell him you have a horrid lien now?

Like i said I don't want to disappoint him and make him think i am after his money.

you see, because of my last statement, I think you want his money !!

< Message edited by RealSub58 -- 3/26/2010 9:23:09 PM >

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RE: Should i tell Master? - 3/26/2010 9:47:22 PM

Kana

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Joined: 10/24/2006
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Gotta say, any slave that held back a tidbit this important would not be my slave much longer. I would be much more upset at the lying (and yes, lying by omission is still lying) and a continuous pattern of deceit than at whatever the original problem was.
Sigh, when are people gonna learn-the cover-up always causes more trouble than the original misdeed.

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RE: Should i tell Master? - 3/26/2010 9:59:17 PM

love9boy

Posts: 11
Joined: 3/21/2010
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No, not irresponsible at all. 2009 was the single worst year of my life as it was for many people in the world. my partner of 14 years died one year ago, lost my job right after that, lost our home right after that and spent my entire life savings on funeral costs and surving without a job for 5 months. That's the reason i defaulted on my payment agreement with the IRS. Nothing more, nothing less. i don't need Masters money because i can make my own. i just don't want him to think i am looking for an easy out when i do move into his home. We have alot to talk about. i'm pretty sure He won't want to take on my debt so He will probably want me to continue to serve Him AND work. I am perfectly willing and able of doing just that. i'm just nervous and scared. i'm sure most people with a heart can relate.

< Message edited by love9boy -- 3/26/2010 10:03:51 PM >

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Post #: 17

RE: Should i tell Master? - 3/26/2010 10:00:20 PM

DWCskitten

Posts: 199
Joined: 3/2/2010
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~FR~
All i can say is, Master Sir demands complete and total transparency. That means NO secrets. i would never ask Him to help me with something like that. i'm just that way. But still, the rule in our relationship is NO SECRETS FROM MASTER SIR.

~kitten~

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RE: Should i tell Master? - 3/26/2010 10:07:26 PM

Phoenixpower

Posts: 8098
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: VampiresLair

If he already knows about the amount of money you owe, then where would the problem in telling him what has happened be? Dont ask him for money, dont ask him for help, just let him know that you are in a bad position because of the levies and leave it at that. If he chooses to offer help, that will be his decision. If not, at least he will understand if you are unable to manage anything financial anytime soon. Show him you can be responsible, and make your own appointments and work towards fixing the situation on your own without asking for help from him.

I know personally, I would want to know how someone I was bringing into my home would handle a financial disaster like this. I would not have been happy that it happened that way, Id have found out why you were in that situation and I would expect you to be capable of handling it yourself before I would want you to share my home. That way, I could be sure that once you were indeed with me I would be able to trust you in case of a future problem rather than worrying about you falling to pieces over it.

DV

Very well said and at the same time it also gives you an opportunity to see how he handles such news...which can be reassuring as well as an eye opener (depending on his reaction) as after all...it is still about getting to know each other ...

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RE: Should i tell Master? - 3/26/2010 10:44:24 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: VampiresLair

If he already knows about the amount of money you owe, then where would the problem in telling him what has happened be? Dont ask him for money, dont ask him for help, just let him know that you are in a bad position because of the levies and leave it at that. If he chooses to offer help, that will be his decision. If not, at least he will understand if you are unable to manage anything financial anytime soon. Show him you can be responsible, and make your own appointments and work towards fixing the situation on your own without asking for help from him.

I know personally, I would want to know how someone I was bringing into my home would handle a financial disaster like this. I would not have been happy that it happened that way, Id have found out why you were in that situation and I would expect you to be capable of handling it yourself before I would want you to share my home. That way, I could be sure that once you were indeed with me I would be able to trust you in case of a future problem rather than worrying about you falling to pieces over it.

DV

This.

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