quote:

ORIGINAL: brainiacsub

Woman, with the exception of a couple of statements in your post, you could be my twin. I'll share with you what I have learned if it will be any help to you at all. I'll send you a private cmail.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009

i think this is exactly where You belong.

If you switched your gender, then you could be me.  Check out my profile, and you will see what i mean.

There are a lot of good people here with a lot of good experience and ideas.  Feel free to jump right in with questions.

Frankly, i'd suggest that you focus on this area (General BDSM Discussion) of the message board, as well as "Ask a Master" and "Ask a Submissive".  You may also want to follow "Ask a Mistress", but it may be slightly less relevant to your particular situation.

One thing that i'd advise you to do is to be as specific as you can if you choose to ask a question.  That gives people more information to work with, and they can provide better answers to your questions.

Welcome to CM, and hopefully this will also be the beginning of an enjoyable, long-term BDSM lifestyle.

quote:

ORIGINAL: jbcurious

I joined CM about 10 days ago at the urging of a good friend and member if this site. I'm still trying to figure out if I belong here. I read so many conflicting oppinions and attitudes that I'm not really sure what is involved...perhaps if I explain a bit about myself, you can give me a bit of advice.

First, while having a strong personality, a good education, a quick mind and ability to take charge...The last thing I want in a relationship is to be in charge...yet that always seems to be where I get stuck.., which causes me to lose respect for my partner...and if I don't respect him any love I had for him is soon replaced by scorn.

I think most people who know me would be shocked to know that I consider myself to be submissive as I have no problem verbally destroying men that I consider to be controlling or abusive.

I believe there is a vast difference between submitting to a man through trust, respect and love...and some neanderthal trying to take something he hasn't earned.

I am far from a prude and have enjoyed a lively sex life that has had it's share if kink...but at this stage of my life prefer a mono, longterm relationship with a healthy dose of kink. I'm not into organizations, labels or keeping up with the Jonses, but do enjoy the occasional visit to a BDSM club with my partner for a little play.

I had to smile when I read the shaving thread as I love the feeling of exposure and vulnerability being in that state allows me.

I would appreciate any opinions or suggestions you may have as to whether or not I might find what I'm looking for in a BDSM relationship. Thanks.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009

i think this is exactly where You belong.

If you switched your gender, then you could be me.  Check out my profile, and you will see what i mean.

There are a lot of good people here with a lot of good experience and ideas.  Feel free to jump right in with questions.

Frankly, i'd suggest that you focus on this area (General BDSM Discussion) of the message board, as well as "Ask a Master" and "Ask a Submissive".  You may also want to follow "Ask a Mistress", but it may be slightly less relevant to your particular situation.

One thing that i'd advise you to do is to be as specific as you can if you choose to ask a question.  That gives people more information to work with, and they can provide better answers to your questions.

Welcome to CM, and hopefully this will also be the beginning of an enjoyable, long-term BDSM lifestyle.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyOddsworth

quote:

ORIGINAL: jbcurious

I joined CM about 10 days ago at the urging of a good friend and member if this site. I'm still trying to figure out if I belong here. I read so many conflicting oppinions and attitudes that I'm not really sure what is involved...perhaps if I explain a bit about myself, you can give me a bit of advice.

First, while having a strong personality, a good education, a quick mind and ability to take charge...The last thing I want in a relationship is to be in charge...yet that always seems to be where I get stuck.., which causes me to lose respect for my partner...and if I don't respect him any love I had for him is soon replaced by scorn.

I think most people who know me would be shocked to know that I consider myself to be submissive as I have no problem verbally destroying men that I consider to be controlling or abusive.

I believe there is a vast difference between submitting to a man through trust, respect and love...and some neanderthal trying to take something he hasn't earned.

I am far from a prude and have enjoyed a lively sex life that has had it's share if kink...but at this stage of my life prefer a mono, longterm relationship with a healthy dose of kink. I'm not into organizations, labels or keeping up with the Jonses, but do enjoy the occasional visit to a BDSM club with my partner for a little play.

I had to smile when I read the shaving thread as I love the feeling of exposure and vulnerability being in that state allows me.

I would appreciate any opinions or suggestions you may have as to whether or not I might find what I'm looking for in a BDSM relationship. Thanks.

From what you have said, I think you belong here. The site as a whole can be a bit much for some (i.e me) at first. There is no set rule on how you MUST act. Read, learn and take away what resonates with you. We are all different and we all like different things. You don't need to label it, however, you may find someone here you click with.

quote:

ORIGINAL: jbcurious

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyOddsworth

quote:

ORIGINAL: jbcurious

I joined CM about 10 days ago at the urging of a good friend and member if this site. I'm still trying to figure out if I belong here. I read so many conflicting oppinions and attitudes that I'm not really sure what is involved...perhaps if I explain a bit about myself, you can give me a bit of advice.

First, while having a strong personality, a good education, a quick mind and ability to take charge...The last thing I want in a relationship is to be in charge...yet that always seems to be where I get stuck.., which causes me to lose respect for my partner...and if I don't respect him any love I had for him is soon replaced by scorn.

I think most people who know me would be shocked to know that I consider myself to be submissive as I have no problem verbally destroying men that I consider to be controlling or abusive.

I believe there is a vast difference between submitting to a man through trust, respect and love...and some neanderthal trying to take something he hasn't earned.

I am far from a prude and have enjoyed a lively sex life that has had it's share if kink...but at this stage of my life prefer a mono, longterm relationship with a healthy dose of kink. I'm not into organizations, labels or keeping up with the Jonses, but do enjoy the occasional visit to a BDSM club with my partner for a little play.

I had to smile when I read the shaving thread as I love the feeling of exposure and vulnerability being in that state allows me.

I would appreciate any opinions or suggestions you may have as to whether or not I might find what I'm looking for in a BDSM relationship. Thanks.

From what you have said, I think you belong here. The site as a whole can be a bit much for some (i.e me) at first. There is no set rule on how you MUST act. Read, learn and take away what resonates with you. We are all different and we all like different things. You don't need to label it, however, you may find someone here you click with.

Thank's for your reply...I seem to change with everything I read...some things I've found comforting while others have nearly made me pull out. I was some what chastised in an email for not being bisexual...

I actualy have made a connection with someone and this may be why I'm feeling so uncertain. All of a sudden it's becoming real...before I know what it's all about and fully understand.

quote:

ORIGINAL: jbcurious

I was some what chastised in an email for not being bisexual...

quote:

ORIGINAL: jbcurious

I just finished reading your profile and I'm laughing...men like you have been the bane of my existance! lol You suck me in with your strong manly ways then want me to be in charge!

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

quote:

ORIGINAL: jbcurious

I was some what chastised in an email for not being bisexual...

Daaaaamn. And I got soooo happy for a little minute there...
(I'm teasing. You do your thing.)

Some of the sub women on this site are basically liquid fire somehow condensed into human form. You be as sparky and intelligent as you like-there will be men (!) who adore you for it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: jbcurious

I actualy have made a connection with someone and this may be why I'm feeling so uncertain. All of a sudden it's becoming real...before I know what it's all about and fully understand.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009

quote:

ORIGINAL: jbcurious

I actualy have made a connection with someone and this may be why I'm feeling so uncertain. All of a sudden it's becoming real...before I know what it's all about and fully understand.

i get that.  i really do.  However, don't become the victim of "analysis paralysis".

You can do all of the reading that you want, but the best way to learn to swim is by getting in the water.  The same holds true with BDSM.  The best way to learn is by taking that first step.  Go to a munch.  Watch a demonstration at your local BDSM group.  Find a playmate and experiment.  Or schedule a session with a pro.  But take the bold step of making your fantasy a reality.  Even if it is only a tiny step.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyOddsworth

quote:

ORIGINAL: jbcurious

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyOddsworth

quote:

ORIGINAL: jbcurious

I joined CM about 10 days ago at the urging of a good friend and member if this site. I'm still trying to figure out if I belong here. I read so many conflicting oppinions and attitudes that I'm not really sure what is involved...perhaps if I explain a bit about myself, you can give me a bit of advice.

First, while having a strong personality, a good education, a quick mind and ability to take charge...The last thing I want in a relationship is to be in charge...yet that always seems to be where I get stuck.., which causes me to lose respect for my partner...and if I don't respect him any love I had for him is soon replaced by scorn.

I think most people who know me would be shocked to know that I consider myself to be submissive as I have no problem verbally destroying men that I consider to be controlling or abusive.

I believe there is a vast difference between submitting to a man through trust, respect and love...and some neanderthal trying to take something he hasn't earned.

I am far from a prude and have enjoyed a lively sex life that has had it's share if kink...but at this stage of my life prefer a mono, longterm relationship with a healthy dose of kink. I'm not into organizations, labels or keeping up with the Jonses, but do enjoy the occasional visit to a BDSM club with my partner for a little play.

I had to smile when I read the shaving thread as I love the feeling of exposure and vulnerability being in that state allows me.

I would appreciate any opinions or suggestions you may have as to whether or not I might find what I'm looking for in a BDSM relationship. Thanks.

From what you have said, I think you belong here. The site as a whole can be a bit much for some (i.e me) at first. There is no set rule on how you MUST act. Read, learn and take away what resonates with you. We are all different and we all like different things. You don't need to label it, however, you may find someone here you click with.

Thank's for your reply...I seem to change with everything I read...some things I've found comforting while others have nearly made me pull out. I was some what chastised in an email for not being bisexual...

I actualy have made a connection with someone and this may be why I'm feeling so uncertain. All of a sudden it's becoming real...before I know what it's all about and fully understand.

Take it at your own pace. Good luck!

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Why wouldn't you belong here?  You have an interest in this to at least some degree, right?

I'll let you in on a little secret.  Everybody here has either taken the time or is taking the time to find out what works for them.  That goes from everything to those who might just enjoy a little slap and tickle in the bedroom to full blown 24/7 situations, plus any possible scenario that you can think of in between.  Where you fall in all of that, only you (and perhaps a prospective partner) can figure out.

In the meantime, learning can be fun!  Welcome to the forums.

quote:

ORIGINAL: jbcurious


First, while having a strong personality, a good education, a quick mind and ability to take charge...The last thing I want in a relationship is to be in charge...

I think most people who know me would be shocked to know that I consider myself to be submissive.

I believe there is a vast difference between submitting to a man through trust, respect and love...and some neanderthal trying to take something he hasn't earned.

I am far from a prude and have enjoyed a lively sex life that has had it's share if kink...but at this stage of my life prefer a mono, longterm relationship